One of the most freeing things I learned in life is that I don’t have to be like everyone, everyone doesn’t have to like me, and it’s perfectly okay.
I live for years trying to be that someone that everyone liked, I grew up a people pleaser. It was drilled into me as a child. I felt I could be perfect by doing things for everyone, always waiting to hear if my parents needed something. I thought that was how I could get attention from them. It just carried over to the next 45 years.
I was taught to be polite and to put others before myself. Before I made a decision, I carefully weighed how it would affect others and their thoughts of me. Then I learned to followed the crowd I was more likely to get thing I wanted and I thought I was happier. Before but I wasn’t some people didn’t have my value system and that upset me.
The constant need to have everyone like me came back to kick me in the butt, again and again. Before to along I had made a habit on only thinking about their actions an thoughts.
I built myself completely around others’ expectations from the way I looked to my friends, my relationships, passions personality, and more. The problem was I wasn’t being who I really was. I had no true self, but instead many different versions of myself made to please everyone and anyone.
I never revealed my true self to anyone because I didn’t want to drive away anyone. I ended up feeling like a shell of a person. I did not have an identity. I felt like I was living for them not for me.
The journey to my own self-discovery and wanting to please me most of all came in something unexpected in the last few years I have had some people who I thought we’re friends but pulled away from me after I had unset them.
In the past, I had pulled away from everyone that I had an argument with or upset them never the other way around.
It hit me in healing time that I was not upset because of how close we had become or because I valued them deeply as a person.
It turned out, what upset me the most was knowing that there was someone who didn’t like me and was harboring bad feelings toward me. The thought tore me apart.
It wasn’t until I was talking to another friend and she pointed out that there were almost likely a great deal of people who didn’t like me, I had a revelation.
There are always going to be people who don’t like me. By trying to cater my and decisions to everyone else besides the only person whose feelings mattered (me), I drove myself into an unhappy place in an impossible attempt to make everyone happy. I’d never be able to make everyone happy, and it turned out that’s fine.
I spend a lot of my life trying to get everyone to like me that I never figured out that’s not what best for me.
You are not for everyone and that’s okay. The world is full of who, no matter what you do, will point blank not like you. But it is filled with people who will love you strongly. You are not for everyone and that’s okay.Rebecca Campbell
Talk to the people who can hear you. Don’t waste your precious time and gifts trying to convince them of your value, they won’t ever what your selling. Don’t convince them to walk beside you. You’ll be wasting both your time and theirs and will inflict unnecessary wounds, which take precious time to heal.
As you drive people away, you only get closer to your ideal people. Those who love you, who want to be close to you, who truly value you, are one step closer.
Each person who criticizes your ideas and passions draw you closer to your ideal friends, partner. Each person that walks away draws closer to the people who share your beliefs and passions.
Being disliked by some is simply a byproduct of being authentic who you truly are.
You will be too much from some people. These aren’t your people,Unknown
It is simple to make a promise. Or tell someone you will do something then never do it. It’s easy to say but hard to do. It is one of the core principles of life. Words are essentially meaningless unless you have the determination, the intent and the resolve to abide in them.
It’s easy to promise yourself you’re going to work on a relationship unless you make some concrete efforts to make a difference. Even little things can go a long way. The little things we do show that you’re taking your word seriously.
Say you told someone you’re going to laundry today but at the end of the day, nothings done. Would if that person needed clean clothes for the next day because of an interview. Now they need to waste time doing the laundry because of something you said you’d do.
We are in the year of an election and very few of their words you can trust. When you’re voting for a candidate, their speeches aren’t as important (to me at all ) as their accomplishments or their track record. Do they put their money where their mouth is? If they have been in politics before what did they accomplish. Did they make accomplishments that helped the citizens or hurt them? Did they keep promises made when they made a speech? Their personality makes no difference. Do their policies go along with my values?
Eventually, in any relationship, there will come a time where words don’t matter anymore. The track record of you keeping your word will become clear. Politicians will be voted out and relationships with end.
Actions are needed to put meaning behind your words. Like saying to a friend, you’re my best friend and then talking about them behind their back. If you were really their best friend is you had something to say you would say it to their face.
If your working in sales and you tell a customer that a product you are selling them, that it works great, but you know it’s junk and you sell it to them anyway. Your words are meaningless.
I have had many people tell me they were going to do something and they wouldn’t do it. It only shows me I can not trust them again. Not until their words meet with their actions. Don’t tell me and show something different from your actions.
I’m learning to let things align with my life when the time is right, to let the universe bring them to me without having to run after them because if you have to run after something it means that it doesn’t want to stay still, it doesn’t want to be caught, it doesn’t want to stop at your door. I’m trusting God that what’s meant for me will find me no matter where I am. I’m not passive but I also won’t fight a losing battle.
I’m learning to stop decoding Messi and mixed signals a wait for the clear message, the message that is so obvious and easy to understand, the message that doesn’t make you question or second guess anything, and the message that you’re waiting for.
I’m learning to let those who don’t want to be in their lives go. I might even hold the door open for then because I don’t want a temporary visit anymore. I don’t want to share my life who doesn’t want someone who does want to share theirs. If people don’t want to spend time with me, they obviously don’t want to know who I am as a friend.
I’m learning to be patient with myself. Taking it easy on myself. Being kind to yourself if you mess up. Give yourself forgiveness and love take a few deep breaths and try again. Let your mistakes be memories instead of labels.
I’m learning to let my mistakes prove that I’ve tried for things there weren’t right for me.
I’m taking the wisdom I got from all those mistakes; the wisdom that taught me that mistakes happen because we are forcing something that is not meant for us and we are trying to get something we probably should have.
I’m learning to stop trying so hard to control my life. It’s okay if we don’t have all the answers or if we’re not where we want to be. I’m learning to let life talents course instead of trying to steer the wheel in another direction. We won’t always get what we want I want but life will give me what I need. I’m learning to treat life as a friend, trying to understand it, trying to love it when it’s being difficult, trying to accept it’s frustrating me, and trying to appreciate the experiences it has provided me with, the memories it gave me, the laughter it brought me and the sadness it put me through just to grow into who I am right now.
I’m learning to let things be and look at life as a person; a person who is also still trying to figure out, a person who is flawed, and a person who wants to be better on most days but falls short on other days like everyone else.
I’m learning to let the force of life move me instead of forcing it to stop.
God’s love through us in Christ is amazing. His love is the root and ground of all we receive and experience in God. One of the greatest Bible verses on this subject is.
Ephesians 3. This prayer of Paul for us should greatly encourage us. Ephesians 3:16-19, I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His Spirit. Then Christ will make His home as you trust Him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong, and may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how long, how high, and how deep His love it. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
If we do not have a foundation to stand on, we will fall. We all have God’s spirit in us, an inner strength but it’s where we choose to turn that gets us in trouble. I went too many years without a foundation to stand on, I chose to listen to believe satan’s lies. I chose to hate, I chose to lie, I chose to live a miserable life. Because I didn’t understand God’s love for me.
A Home In Our Heart
I pray that from His glorious unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His Spirit. Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow into the deep foundation that God has provided us.
Gods power strengthens us inwardly, then we are able to trust Him so that Christ is at home in our hearts. So what is a home!
Many of us have a legal relationship with Christ, but your heart is not home to Him. A house is not a home. A home is the place of close relationship. A home is where life is shared everything is seen. Where all rooms are accessible. The Lord is not merely a tenant in your house, He is head of the family. He is loved. The inner workings of the Holy Spirit will change your heart if you let Him. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walking in the Spirit (Galatians 5:25).
When He is at home in our hearts we can put deep roots into God’s love.
Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. A root is the part of the plant that draws life from the ground or foundation. Before faith in Christ, our natural lives we’re rooting in many things. Some of a were rooted in our own abilities and talents. We were self-made people or we needed constant affirmation. Some people of us have had traumatic experiences, and our hearts have been rooted in fear and pain, when you come to Christ with natural roots you never to a different level. Ask God to satisfy those root needs. The Lord has so much more for us.
The key root to healing. For example, some Christians spend years praying to be healed of some trauma, like surviving a painful from childhood, death, or of rape. But God’s love is deeper and wok, surpass all other roots. Perfect love casts out all fear. Healing comes. Putting your roots deep into God’s love cures fears, pain and trauma. It curses insecurities and the need for affirmation from the world. His love heals us, secures us, changes us. Whatever the roots of your life, put them down deeper into God’s love.
Understanding His Love-Its Bigger Than You Can Imagine
Many people wonder why I constantly talk about God’s love. It’s simple, I’ve experienced how Huge it really is. When you put your roots into His love, revelation power starts to work. God starts showing you how Big His love really is. Revelation about every possible direction His love flows.
I’ve heard people say I don’t want to let God into my heart, because then I will have to give up the things I enjoy. The fact is it’s so much more than what you have to give up. Or If you believe in God you have to forget about having fun anymore. I have to say I have more fun with my church family and friends than I’ve ever had in my life. And I know they honestly care about me and where my soul is going.
When my mind began to comprehend how huge His grace is. How His love for sinners and the world is more than we can imagine. I saw things differently in terms of his love. It’s a revelation by the Spirit that comes as we put our roots deep into His love.
Experience His love
May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully.
It is one thing to understand His love but then we must experience it. Most believers experience Gods love for themselves at some point, but that it focused on just you. It is not wide, long high, and deep. The experience of God’s love is much, much bigger. He wants to share His own heart with us. So we can experience His love for others, for the world. I had many friends and family members who have idols, guns, money, vehicles, looks. I knew that no idol or devil, or man was going to separate them from the love of God. I have seen breakthroughs and healings and in very case it leads to the power of God.
Love Leads To Power
When you are made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
Many times I have focused on the love of Christ for a person in need, I realize God sent me there to pray for them or just be there for support. When speaking about His love the anointing always comes in healings or deliverance. This is good news. God loves the world
The enemy has a plan for your life: to steal, kill, and destroy.
God calls us to be alert and of sober mind, watching ours for the scenes of the devil who prowls around like a roaring look looking for someone to devour. ( 1 Peter 5:8) The devil wants to devour our lives, keeping us from the job of living in a relationship with Jesus.
Satan wants for you to doubt God.
In John 29, the disciples shouted that that had seen Jesus raised from the grave, but Thomas’s doubt kept him from believing in the miracle of salvation. Jesus appeared to Thomas and said, Stop doubting and believe ( John 20:27).
When the devil tempts you to doubt😍God, don’t let your circumstance determine your God, let your God determine your circumstance.
Satan wants you to live in fear.
Fear is not the absence of faith, it is the displacement of it. The devil doesn’t want to rob us of our faith, he wants our faith to be in anything but God. Life in God is life not in fear.
Psalm 34:4 says, I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from my fears.
Satan wants you to feel insecure.
Don’t let the devil tell you that you are unloved or not good enough! You are God’s handiwork and in Him, we are not only good enough, we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.
Satan wants you to avoid the church. The more uninvloved you become with the body of Christ, the harder it is to persevere in your faith. It isn’t easy to follow God in a world that doesn’t. When we leave the community we were made for, we are destined to be devoured (1 Corinthians 12).
Satan wants you to be led astray.
Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves (Matthew 7:15). When we rely on the words of men or ourselves in place of God’s word, we can lead others away from. Jesus and be led away from Hid truth ourselves.
Satan wants you to fail.
The devil wants to destroy us. He wants us to settle for what the world gives us and accept default (2 Corinthians 4: 8-10) says we are pressed on every side, but not crushed: perplexed, but not in despair: persecuted, but not abandoned: stuck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may be revealed in our body. When you feel like your going to love, take heart, Jesus has already won for you.
I want to share with you, what my pastor spoke of in church day.
Cow and sheep with their heads down and just nibbling away at the grass can get themselves lost in no time. We do much of the same thing as well.
If you’re not looking around where you’re going or paying attention to what you’re thinking about or how you’re going about your daily lives, it can be easy to meander out of the safety of God’s protection and find yourself in reckless compromises and foolish decision, never noticing how far away from the truth we’ve strayed.
I am so thankful for second chances. Life is a journey filled with ups and downs. Sometimes our lives are going great and other times we fail. We are reminded of our human state how imperfect we are. But through our moment’s imperfection, we are humbled with the realization of God’s grace and mercy as He forgives us and gives us a second chance.
Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning: great is Your faithfulness.Lamentations 3:22-23
King David and the Apostle Peter were great men of God, yet imperfect like you and me, had to hit rock bottom before the scales came off their eye, and they saw clearly.
Adultery And Murder
David is known as the man after God’s heart, sought after God, and walked in faith bravely trusting God even when the odds were stacked against him. Yet his area of vulnerability was women. He initiated an adulterous affair and caused the death of her husband.
Death of their first child.
At rock bottom, David repents and asks for forgiveness. This is key. Sometimes we are so wrapped up in concealing our sin, we fail to ask God for forgiveness and stop letting that area of sin control our lives.
When I was young, I had an affair with a married man, I was an alcoholic and was addicted to cocaine.
I tried to overdose on cocaine. I felt like I was living in hell and thought I would be better off dead, surely no one would even notice I was gone.
God gave me a second chance, I year later I was married and had a daughter. To the man that saved my life from that overdose. I have consequences for what I have done, I was admitted to the state hospital a couple of times. I was severely depressed. My husband has had an affair on me. I attribute to me having an affair. It was at that time I had empathy for the man’s wife I had an affair with.
Bathsheba and David go on to have children.
God wants us to move forward with our lives. He wants to bless us but, we have to turn to Him and repent.
It took me twenty-five years to repent and ask forgiveness. Twenty-five years repent and ask forgiveness. For those years I lived in hell. I finally hit rock bottom and repented and asked God for his forgiveness.
Jonah was a great prophet of God, he was told to go to Nineveh, but he had no desire to share a message of hope and repentance to such an evil nation. So Jonah decided to take a ship in the complete opposite direction toward Tarshish. How often do we take matters into our own hands and try and escape God’s plan for our lives?
Jonah got swallowed by a giant fish and stewed there for three days. God had plans for this message to be delivered by Jonah and he was either going to obey the hard way or the easy way. He chose the hard way.
At rock bottom, nearing and fearing death, Jonah repents and promises to be obedient.
God forgave like he always does. Jonah was able to continue his journey to Ninevah. They listened to Jonahs message and repented Nievah was spared from destruction and Jonah was spared death in the giant fish.
Peter known as the Rock, follow God with his life, only to face her and doubt when Jesus was crucified cowardly denying Jesus three times, even to a little girl, Jesus warned him that this trial would come, and when the rooster crowed three times, it was a reminder to Peter of what he did.
It may not appear as severe as other consequences. Peter wept bitterly. Peter was a broken man, probably ashamed of this conduct. He walked with Jesus and still had so little faith. When He did not see Jesus even for a short while, his faith started to dwindle.
Did Peter’s journey end with his fears and doubt? No, God continued to work on his heart and grow his faith. Ultimately using Peter as one of the main vessels to spread Christianity to Rome.
These men fell and got back up again. They repented and leaned on God for strength and obedience. If you fall, get up. Stop whatever negative road you are heading down and start fresh with God. Don’t ever think you are useless because you have fallen. We all have. God wants to bring victory in your life, but you have to make the conscious choice and decision to follow God.
For the righteous man falls seven times, and rises again, but the wicked stumble in time of calamity.Proverbs 24:16
God knows the plans he has for you. Plans to prosper you and not harm you plans to give you a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29-11)