Lasting Changes In Your Personality

Small changes in your personality can lead to improved emotional health.

The ways of figuring out your personalities historically included your blood, bumps on you skulls, temperaments and personality inventory from the ink lot test.

Self- assessments of our personality can be flawed because most people have little insight into what type of personality they have. I’ll- tempered people may believe they are kind and thoughtful to everyone. Instead of being disrespectful and thoughtless. People can be attentive to other’s needs may behave in ways others do not want. And be unaware of their intrusion.

Many people don’t pat attention to what kind of personality they have and don’t know how their personalities operate.

When people go to therapy for symptoms of anxiety or depression most have no idea what causes their anxiety/depression. Therapy usually uncovers a personality dysfunction. They identify and wrestle with their personalities.

Personality reaches our world, leisure, thoughts, activities, the ways we use language and our management of relationship.

The process of emotionally conditioning. Parents teach children many things- how to make a bed, read books, meet relatives. But parents also teach children how to grow emotionally feel.

Imagine if you trained yourself as you train you dog. We cannot completely our personalities. But we observe people can make sufficient change to lessen their anxieties, depression, relationships, conflict and substance overuse. The changes can be long lasting if enough work is done.

I used to be a horrible person, I used to hate, resent, and was usually addicted to prescription medication not by my own self, but by the doctors giving larger doses than I needed. I changed.

Our personality becomes more rigid as we age. We become more flexible and mature and tend to repeat the aspects formed in childhood.

I was seeing a therapist when I was very depressed, I slept all the time, and often felt suicidal. This therapist told to start waking up every morning get showered and dressed, eat a good breakfast, spend at least 15 minutes a day out side. Simple ideas but, they made a world of change for me. I became happier and more energetic. Don’t get me wrong I still had bad days. But as I began to get outside I had come to enjoy it. I met a lady walking on the same path I was walking on, after a while we became friends and walking buddies.

Today she is the best friend I have ever had.

As I continued to see my therapy, we changed my depression medicine to something that worked and not drug me out. The idea came to me, maybe if I focus on a beautiful thing everyday. When I fell into depression it would help me. I chose a beautiful tree just outside my window. If we chose to see something beautiful around us everyday. It can change us. I began to have a more positive attitude.

As I began to feel more positive I could be a nicer person. And started to notice things more. Every day I improved a little more. I chose to be kinder and happier. I was reacting to people and think about what I was saying to them.

Most people aren’t even aware of what they say about their tone of voice they are using. I changed my words, and my tone around people and it changed my world.

You can make lasting changes in your personality.

How To Be Calm Through Every Situation

I few years ago I wouldn’t have believed anyone could be calm and in complete control when the world around me was to high stress and anxiety stricken.

Most people just don’t feel a sense of peace, of calm, of serenity throughout their day.

A few habits me create a feeling of calmness much more than ever before.

I’m not perfect at them, but I do practice them, and they are always helpful.

These habits are not a one-time change in your life or work pattern. Changing your environment is great but, you can’t control the things that happen to you much of the time, and you certainly cannot control how other people act. The only thing you can control is your response- and response matters. You can respond to the same situation with anger or anxiety, or you can respond with peace and calmness.

These are the habits to develop that will help you develop calmness (based on my experience):

A calm morning ritual. There are many people who rush through their mornings, starting the moment their feet hit the floor. And start their day feeling stressful the entire day. The night before I pick out my outfit everything from socks to underwear and shoes, I make sure my. Coffee is ready ready to go from the next morning. I set my Alarm clock for 45 minutes before I need to get up. I my routine mapped out by time.

I pray and ask God to Blessed my day or let me become a blessing to someone else. After I get my coffee, I have take about a half hour to calmly meditate in God’s Word and drink my coffee. I take 15 minutes for a shower. While I’m doing my hair and make up, I listen to Praise music. Get dressed, fix myself breakfast, in time to get out the door a few minutes early in- case I am slowed down on my way to work.

Learn to watch your response. When something stressful happens, what is your response? Some people jump into action- though if the stressful situation is another person, sudden action can be harmful. Others get angry, or overwhelmed. Still others start to feel sorry for themselves, and wish things were different. Why can’t other people behave better? Watch this response- it’s an important habit.

Don’t take things personally. Many times the response (that you noticed in Habit 2) is to take things personally. A prime example I did before I began practicing these habits). If someone does something we don’t like, often we tend to interpret this as a personal affront. Our kids don’t clean their rooms? We think they are defying our authority instead of just being kids. Our spouse doesn’t show affection today? He/she must not care as they should. How could they treat us that way. Some people think the universe is personally against them. But, the truth is, it’s not personal- it’s the other person’s issue. They are doing the best they can. You can learn not to interpret situations as a personal affront, and instead see it as some non- personal external situation ( like a bird flying by or a leaf falling) that you can respond to without a stressful mind set, or not need to respond to at all.

As I have written on many times before.

Be grateful. Lots of people talk about gratitude but how often do we apply it to the situations of our day? Things are crashing down at work, or your boss in angry, or you co- workers are rude, or your kids are misbehaving, or someone doesn’t love us.

Do these cause anger/anxiety/unhappiness, or an we find a way to be grateful? Drop the complaints and then smile. This unbending habit can change your life.

Create stress coping habits. Many times when we are faced with stress, we have unhealthy responses-anger, feeling overwhelmed and withdrawing, eating junk food, drinking alcohol or taking drugs, shopping or otherwise buying stuff, going to waste of time sites, procrastinating,and so on. Instead we Need healthy ways to cope with stress, which we’ll come inevitably. When you notice stress, watch how you cope with it, and then replace any unhealthy coping habits with healthier ones.

There are some healthy stress coping habits that include, drinking tea, exercise, meditation, massaging your own neck and shoulders, taking a walk, drinking some water, talking with someone you care about.

Single-task instead of multitasking, I think people multitask now than ever before. People text or talk when their drinking which causes stress let, alone very dangerous. People text while their walking which takes the calming effect that we get from just walking. They tweet and post on Facebook, they email and read blogs and news, they watch TV while eating, the plan their days while doing chores. This is a great way to add stress to your day and make you age faster.

This level of anxiety that runs through everything we do, only because you think you should be doing more. How about you try just doing me thing and learn to trust that you shouldn’t be doing anything else. It’s takes a lot of practice to just eat, just go for a walk, just talking to someone without having your cellphone going off every few seconds, just do your chores, just read an article.

How about trying to just do one simple task and then learn to trust that you don’t have to do anything more. Take sometimes to practice just eating, just doing chores, or just speaking to someone without having your cellphone in your hand going off every few seconds. Take the time to go for a walk without texting or talking to someone. Take time to enjoy real-life stress free.

Involve yourself in answering one e-mail at a time until your inbox in empty. You can learn there is peace in doing one thing at a time and work on your tasks simply.

Reduce the noise in your life. Our lives are filled with so much noise, notifications, social media, news, even the things that cutter us visually. None of it is necessary. Reduce this noise the create some quiet space in your life.

With our brains taking in all the stress in today’s surroundings and noise, our minds never have a chance to shut down and rest from day to day. It’s very unhealthy and dangerous.

Choose to get the stress and anxiety out of your life, and be calm and everyday of your life.



Making Peace With Your Past

Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you-Jean Paul Sartre

Are you plagued by your past? I you want to know the open-heartedness and enthusiasm for life that come with making peace with your past.

We all have past memories that act like they have a mind of their own. They keep recirculating when all we want is for them to disappear. We become way to emotionally reactive than we know what’s is good for us. We become limited by distrust, and neediness.

Sometimes the past is nipping at our heals.

Sadly I lived in the past for many years I was filled with anger and resentment about my past and continually blamed my past for my present situation. When actually I was to blame.

Our mind screams about the “ should haves and the ought to be’s.” I kept a endless list of what I deserved. There are times when arguments failed us and we have to walk away. It’s time we “saw the light.”

Taking the responsibility for our own personal happiness. Anger and resentment prevents us from experiencing the ease and well being that we so desperately need. Stop feeding it. No more stories about what you should have been or even waiting for a magic solution. Your past has to disappear in order to have happiness.

The story of what happen to us didn’t change but what we gave power of changes. Stop dwelling on your past. Stop justifying anger and resentment. So you will be more drawn to ease and simplicity. Whoever caused this anger in your life will improve.

While, I never got to have a better relationship with my Mother. I did come to have a better relationship with may Father. I was is caregiver for the last 10 years of his life. We became very close in those years. And I was very blessed to have the right to be there for him. What I wanted was to be free from my past and happy in the present.

I was telling a lady about my past that I had met at church, she said something to me that has stuck with in for years. “You are not your mothers sin.” I realized right then that’s how I was living my present life. I was living like I had took over my mother’s sin, everything she did to me, I was living in punishment for that. When was not to blame, she was.

There is no law stating we can’t change our thoughts. Every time I had a bad thought about my past or even in my present. I would say out loud when I was along “STOP” get out of my head. Satan go away. It may not be the solution for every one, but, it worked for me. I managed to change my thought patterns to a healthy thought pattern instead of thinking all those sick destructive thoughts.

We can manage to destroy ourselves from the inside out.

Thanksgiving Project

On November 25th, I am thankful for long baths, wine, and soft lights.

This ends the Thankful Project, if you participated take time to look back and see everything you were thankful for this month. Tomorrow Thanksgiving you have much more to be thankful that you would have realized. Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Many blessings to you throughout these Beautiful Holidays and feasts.

Good People Sometimes Do Stupid Things.

Today, I managed to do something really stupid. I was in a hurry driving home after last minute shopping. And was running late, I didn’t take the time to put my seatbelt on. This is something I have been telling everyone else to do, because I lost a young friend in a accident, not wearing a seatbelt. I was pull over by a police officer. It’s a fast way to spend $100. Ugh!

I was reading this earlier and have a few laughs. Remember when you do stupid things, don’t be ashamed or angry at yourself. Look for ways to laugh at yourself. I did and even though I have a fine to pay what’s done is done. No used to cry now.

Here’s some ways indicating not being to bright things people have done that are very creative. By Preston Van Deursen. I have listed them:

He’s a few clowns short of a circus.

He’s a few fries short of a happy meal.

A few peas short of a casserole.

He doesn’t have all his cornflakes in one box.

His antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels.

His belt go through all the hoops.

His elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top.

He is several cards short of a full deck.

I especially like this one because I tell that to myself, while I’m laughing.

If I had a brain, it would be very lonely.

Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

The lights are on but nobody’s home.

I’m sure you might know a few more.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes we do really dumb things Why do we do things like that? Did you know there’s actually a parable Jesus talks about in the Bible? I came across this today, I’ve been studying parables in the Bible. This was Jesus’ way of teaching lessons.

A a Farmer sowed good seed in his field. But, while he was sleeping, an enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat. When the wheat spouted, the weeds also appeared. The farmers workers asked Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field? Where did the weeds come from?

An enemy, replied the farmer. His workers asked Do you want us to go and pull them up?

The farmer relied No, because when you pull the weeds you may root up the good wheat as well. Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time we will collect the weeds and tie them in huddles to be burned- then we will gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.

The implication of the parable is clear- There are good and bad folks. The good come from God, and the bad from the devil. One day there will be a time when the good are separated from the bad.

The act of sowing weeds in another mans field as a form of revenge was common in Jesus’ day there were no laws prohibiting it. Wheat and tires look identical until they ripen, as which point the wheat heads look’s different from the weed.

Too bad though, if you turnout to be a weed, rather than wheat. That is the plain straight forward message of this parable. But, there is an issue that this parable does not address.

Some good people sometimes do stupid things. Our experience tells us that life is not as simple as this parable indicates. We are not people in white hats who always do good things and folks in Black hats who always do bad things. ( please this is not at all racial, just an example of any good or bad person in general) sometimes people in white hats sometimes make dreadful bad choices.

If your a Country music fan and know the name “George Jones.” He had an accident and was nearly killed in an automobile because he was talking on his cells phone. When the news first came out, many of his fans probably assumed that George was off the wagon again. If you listen to his music he sings about his life often.

Along with George Jones’ talents and genius comes a dark side. Jones had a reputation for wild living and self-destructive behavior. In the past he struggled with a serious addiction to alcohol and drugs. His addictions were so

His addictions were so bad that he would do literally anything to fuel his habit. At one time George was almost outwitted by his wife Tammy Wynette. To keep him away from the local bar. Tammy took George’s car keys. But George’s determination to feed his addiction won out. He hopped on his riding lawnmower and rides miles to the nearest bar. He wrote about this in all his songs. In my book that’s pretty honest if you can do stupid things and write about it for the world to hear.

Why good people allow themselves to get trapped in crazy patterns of behavior is beyond our understanding. Where does such behavior come from? Can we get of the hook by saying “The devil made me do it?” Is it genetic?

I don’t know the answer to that but we do and say stupid things. I think sometimes a have a “brain fart” and I forgot to think in that moment.

What ever happens to us, when we do something stupid, it happens to all of us. If it’s not a catastrophic event. Take time to laugh it off, it’s not worth ruining your day and life for, learn from it and move on.

What Is The Root Cause Of Our Problems

Fear is the root cause of most our problems, although it may not seem obvious at first. It’s not always self-evident how procrastination or financial and relationship problems are related to fear. The truth is, every problem we have is rooted in fear.

It’s not who you are that holds you back it’s who you think your not


We do have those problems mentioned above and why aren’t we not able to solve them?

Fear is everywhere

In relationships we fear many possible causes, for example we might feel that we’re not good enough for our partner, fearing abandonment.

We might fear not be accepted or not having control over the rest. Maybe we have trust issues we just can’t talk about them.

Financially, we often fear to change bad habits because we can’t let go of our comforts. The morning coffee shop that is so necessary in our lives but burns so much money can’t be forgotten, although everyday we might fear spending too much and getting addicted to shopping and not getting out of it.

Shopping addiction is often caused by anxiety, meaning that we might fear our appearance not being good enough or just wishing for our life to be better than it currently is. We fear not being accepted in society, many people are afraid of being judged if they have less than others, whether it is a car or the house or clothes.

I definitely have a shopping addiction, although I have improved to the way I used to be. Before I would have to have a new outfit every few days. Pants, a shirt and boots. Although the addiction is still here, I am able to walk into a store and get exactly what I need ( most of the time.

Procrastination is caused because we fear failure.

Following your dreams and goals can be discomforting. It takes a lot of time and hard work to get where you want to be. As the brain tends to be scared of potential failure, it prefers tasks that are more comfortable and easy to do, likely scrolling through social media or checking e-mails, because for one part, it’s entertainment which makes us feel good, also it reduces stress and fear of missing out on something important.

There’s other thinks we also fear because of simulation reasons- we done like to start exercising, because it is tiring and uncomfortable, also it means spending that we could use on entertainment-by social media or watching TV.

Would about doing the things we love-many people haven’t committed to trying something new, because they fear failing or think their not good enough.

Fear is everywhere, so being able to seek discomfort and learn to be more fearless, open up to many more opportunities in our lives.

The Art Of Dealing With the Fear.

Fear is viewed as an enemy – as something that is holding us back and being the reason that fear is there to defeat us and the extraordinary are able to defeat it.

I used to fear everything, taking my children to their activities, from baseball to bowling, and swimming, or to school events. My children did everything alone, because I feared being talked about or judged. The times

The times I would go, but stand or sitting behind the scenes so I could make a fast get away. Then one day I realized I was doing the same thing my mother did to me. I started going to every event to show my support in what they were involved with.

Fear is a part of us, there is no way we can destroy fear, so what we have to do is to welcome fear with open arms. It’s part of us and will be forever, so instead of viewing fear as an enemy, stopping yourself from embracing the change, view it as a friend and let fear drive you to extensive heights.

So what can we do to make friends with fear?

We need to accept fear. Fear is our best friend, it has always been a part of us human and will never go away. Accept it and don’t even think of trying to destroy it.

We need to be aware of fear. When we look into fear it might show us the solution to our problems, so finding out what is stopping you , what we’re scared of and looking into what we can actually do to overcome and prevent it and prevent it is the future.

Think about your fear.

What is it your fearing? What is the worst case scenario? Will you be okay? Giving you a little bit of space to think about it, for example going for a walk by yourself, praying, some people do meditation to think about their fears.

We need to be grateful to fear. Being grateful to fears shows us who we are and what life really is to us. This teaches us to appreciate us to appreciate ourselves. We have to be grateful for the possibilities we have in this moment. Instead of see everything as an opportunity-hard work is a opportunity to create or do good in this world and you will do more good than harm, Change is always a opportunity to grow and learn and it should always be embraced. If we don’t want to end up being the same person for decades.

Fear teaches success, without fear, we wouldn’t have success. If there’s no ideal we would fear failure. Fear is good to keep you going and accepting yourself. With out fear, there is no meaning behind success.

I lived close to 40 years living in fear. Not wanting to change anything, and just accepting my life was going to be a poor excuse and I was too. When I decided to step out, things began to change for the better, I realized I could be happy and blessed. I now try every opportunity that seems for a good cause. Your not going to find out what you like if you don’t try it. I now use fear as excitement.

Learning to deal with fear is a long process that involves many characteristics, as we will learn to become more aware and accepting. We need to find gratitude, but we also need to be able to see the pain, otherwise we will never have a ideal version of ourselves to work up to.

The more we embrace fear the more we’ll be able to handle it. It’s a matter of practice, and seeking discomfort can be learned and thought.

Accepting our fears and working with them as necessary, if we let it stop us, we will be the ones that suffer.

Beauty in your life- change your thoughts for a positive outlook