About 6 years ago I hade a flat-out hit rock bottom, mentality, financially, emotionally, and spiritually. The crash was very painful in every way, I had lost the love for my husband, I had no money, I prayed all the time, to no avail, I was emotionally and mentally broke. I had nothing and nowhere to go. I felt my life was over, nothing mattered anymore. So where do I do from here, two thoughts entered my mind. End my life, or go until I could go no further. I finally had no choice but to face myself brutally, painfully and honestly.
I had nothing to lose, but as hard as I tried it didn’t feel like I was getting anywhere. I looked back on the decisions I had made and the times when I tried to commit suicide and the time I was near death in the hospital and the Doctor told my family that I was clinically dead when I arrived. I woke up three days later in Intensive Care, no know what had happened or even where I was.
I realized I had immense gratitude for the numerous gifts that I had bestowed upon me. Every bad decision, every dangerous event that I had brought on myself. All the close calls. Why was I still alive? T instilled in me a deep trust that a higher power actually did have my back, contrary to external appearances and bank balances.
You might think I’m crazy for saying this, but I’d do it all over again, for the incredible insight and growth I gained through what we’re my definitely darkest hours.
Through my life it seems I was destined to fail. But, I have learned some solid lessons and with the wisdom to share from having survived the falls.
I believe everyone will hit rock bottom in their life. But it’s what you do with it, that matters.
There are reasons that hitting rock bottom is a good thing:
Reflection and Realization
At the bottom, you will realize just how far off course you were, and that your life choices were not sustainable. It’s in those darkest moments of despair that your anger and frustration becomes so great and you declare once and for all never again to accept mediocrity from yourself or from others.
Seeing you dysfunctional behaviors
At the bottom, all your dysfunctional behaviors are finally revealed. If you never hit your lowest point, the dysfunctions continue to go unnoticed and unchecked, playing out under the denial radar and inevitably create bigger dysfunctions and a harder fall down the track. Until your bubble bursts, you cleverly delude yourself into thinking everything is just great and your life ends up built on a big fat lie and a false foundation.
Gaining Fresh Perspective
Hitting rock bottom is the beginning of questioning everything that you’ve ever thought to be true. You question you motives, your beliefs, your fears, why you did thongs, why you didn’t do things, why you were attracted to certain people and circumstances, why you succeeded, why you failed. The very fabric of your life is turned upside down and examined in raw detail. It’s from this point that you start building again from the ground up, with a fresh perspective based on your renewed sense of clarity.
Self-Awareness of Bad Habits and Behaviors
At the bottom, your disempowering patterns and behaviors become glaringly obvious, and the triggers that kept you repeating those behavior patterns come into sharp focus. You realize that hitting rock bottom was not only inevitable but necessary, because those behaviors were simply not conductive to your growth. On top of that, and perhaps more importantly, a,k the roles you’ve been playing pop into your conscious awareness. It become clear that you’ve been a kind of a puppet playing a role over and over, creating the same dynamics over and over, like a well-payed actor in a soup opera. It’s not until you break the mold and start the journey ack to your true self that you stop playing the old useless cassette tapes, or scratched record player and begin to create new conscious outcomes.
Trusting in Life
You realize at the bottom that you were, in fact not where you thought you were in life. You let your ego run the show and grand ideas about what you could do not knowing you didn’t yet have the foundation to successfully accomplish those things. Ego’s death grip loosens when you come to this realization; you start to trust life and choose to live in the moment more often. As you surrender to your higher self more and more, you align with your right purpose and right life path. And it feels good.
You gain humility. You see that life is not just black and white and that you don’t know everything. If fact you realize you know very little, and you decide to become a student of life rather as a juror.
You gain compassion. You understand what it’s like for people in the depths of despair, shame, guilt and fear. You can’t help but come back from the bottom feeling of true empathy with the human condition.
In my starting from the bottom up, I have hopefully helped many people that are where I have been. And treated them as a living soul inside of just someone you walk by in Walmart.
You’re able to let go of everything because nothing is working anyway. Letting go of the old creates space for the new and soon new ideas, people, opportunities, talents, and gifts start to flood into your experiences. As you empty your cup, so to speak, you fill it back up with stuff that you actually want instead of accepting what was unconsciously passed on to you. Life gives you a fresh cup of reality.
After you the rocks and bricks have hit you, perhaps for the first time begin to accept full responsibility for all the outcomes in your life, this might feel scary at first, but you’ll see that blaming is fruitless, that complaining is dumb, and that making excuses is for the unenlightened. You realize it was you who created all the good and all the bad in your life. You dug the hole that trapped you, and only you yourself can dig yourself out, in order to become whole.
The Only Way Is Up
The good news is, once you’ve hit rock bottom, you know you can’t possibly go any lower. You realize the bottom is actually a great springboard to push yourself up to the surface- away from the darkness and back toward the light.
Hitting rock bottom wakes you up to how you were relying on externals to make you happy. Instead of needing outside validation, you begin to trust yourself and start the journey within to find your own sense of self, your own sense of purpose, and your validation. This new inner sanctuary becomes the foundation for you happy and meaningful life.
After hitting your lowest point possible, you become enormously grateful for a,, you have from that time forward. And your situation can only get better from here. Simple things like a smile from a stranger, fresh food in the fridge, warm clothing and a bed to sleep in and a roof over your head become treasure p. Your existence is a constant prayer of gratitude to the higher power and yourself for having the courage to move beyond the hard times and choose life when could have chose a number of other options that would have made the pain go away.
As someone who has been there, there is a way out of that pit you dug for yourself and it can be the best thing that ever happened to you,
Today in Church my pastor was talking about the evil and danger in our world, and how we need to stand in the face of it.
As I was listening to Him, I vision came into my find about how we supposed to run to the danger. Or what we think is danger.
I saw the Savanna in Africa on one side I saw the Lion roaring and on the other side we the lioness’s waiting patiently and quietly getting ready for the kill. When the male lions get old their teeth start to rot and they aren’t able to kill animals as easily.
According to scripture, our enemy is like a “roaring lion.” But if we look at it from this angle, what does that say about him? To me it says that he is a deceiver who has bad teeth and a big roar. All he can do is lie to us, just like an old lion. In fact we would be better of running toward the roar- the very thing that frightens us- rather than away from it.
I feel this is what’s happening in American right now, everyone is running away from the roar and we are in danger if we do this. The government is trying to shut a party down and we are falling right into their hands. We keep quiet and don’t do anything because we’re afraid.
Over and over Jesus told His followers not to fear. It was one of His most popular commands. And the Bible further tells us that any spirit of fear we experience is not from God at all. (2 Timothy 1:7). While we should pay attention to what our fears communicate to us (that there is need for caution, that we need to trust the Lord, that we need to pray,) if we believe what God says in His Word, we done have to let those fears determine our direction. He’s pointed us to and know that He’s with us all the courage we need in any battle.
The truth is that Jesus has threw Satan down already, and through His victory, we are also victorious. All our enemy can do is lie to us and sees us running in the wrong direction. Today try running “toward the roar” and face what the enemy wants you to fear. You have God’s strength, power and victory locked in already, so rest in knowing that he’ll take you beyond the enemy threats of the enemy- the older tooth-decayed lion.
You can listen to you friends, your mentors, your teacher, and your spouse, even to the blogs you read. But you should always listen to yourself first.
Do what resonates with you. If you feel it’s right in your heart and soul do it.
Have the strength to say to yourself I’m doing what I’m doing. And that’s okay. You have to live with the choices you make, not them. My friends can’t give me permission to do something you thing is wrong. We have to come to a point where we know in our heart what has to be done.
This is not saying that support isn’t essential, but it is, it’s very essential to our well being. But support and advice are not the same things.
I listen to my friends and I ask them advice. But I always they are not me, feeling what I am feeling and not in my unique situations. Only I am me, and you are you. We can only make the best choices for ourselves.
I know people have told me to break up with my husband, you’re in a unhealthy relationship. But no one can make that choice for me. As it is I’m content where it’s at, it might not be right for everyone, but it’s right for me. I know how to listen to the depths of myself.
We need to feel it for ourselves. It needs to be time for us, and when it’s time it’s something we know. We can listen to others, but that listening won’t mean anything until something inside of us shifts. We hear a story or have an experience, and in that moment something inside of us awakens, and we know the truth for ourselves.
Only when we know our own truth can we make the choices that are best for us. This is why when you make a decision and spend hours analyzing whether or not it was the right decision.
Only when we are in alignment with our deepest self can we make choices that we know are what we need in that mom and live with them without second guessing. We can acknowledge our hearts desire that things could have turned out differently, but that desire doesn’t inform our decision. We acknowledge it for what it is; a desire, a yearning for control. And we are able to choose what’s best for us.
A lot of people get confused about whether or not that are doing the right thing, making the right choice, doing what’s best. When we feel that confused it’s a clear sign we’re out of balance, we’re to much in our own heads.
We want to have more clarity, more ease with our decisions, more confidence. To have those things mean that we need to do the daily work. We need to heal ourselves. We need to balance ourselves. We need to restore. We need to learn the difference between our ego and our authentic self. We need to know the difference in order to be able to live in accordance with our soul. We need to know how to be who we really are, how to live our healthiest lives, and how to put ourselves back on track when we slip off.
And that comes with knowing yourself. It come from exploring and experimenting and listening deeply to the voice inside, the voice that’s always been there patiently waiting for you to listen to it.
I’m writing this, because a dear friend came to me, and told me that she was scared of what was happening in our Country. (I’m writing this From some teachings from Billy Graham. My friend said to me:
“I can’t help but wonder if we’re living in the last days. Do you think we are? There is so much hate, and conflict in the world, so much violence”.
We live in a world that is constantly torn by conflict and chaos and fear. We are in a development of nuclear and biochemical weapons of mass destruction, the world without doubt is the most Dan it has even been. In a Billy Graham speech he stated that Jesus warned that as the end of the present age approaches, in Matthew 24:6-7 Jesus says “You will hear wars and rumors of wars… Nation will rise against nation and kingdom against kingdom.
Jesus cautioned us against trying to predict exactly when He would come again or when the present age would come to an end. (From time to time people have ignored His warning, claiming they knew when Christ was coming-only to be discredited.) At the same time Christ repeatedly promised that some day God will intervene and Christ will come again to rule in perfect justice and peace. No wonder the Bible calls this “the blessed hope-that appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ” (Titus 2:13).
In the midst of our chaotic world, take comfort in the fact that evil will not win, and someday Christ’s victory over evil and in injustice will be complete.
We must take comfort in the fact that when we know Christ (and have a committed our lives to Him), we have hope -hope for our lives right not, and hope for eternity.
Billy Graham stated that he didn’t think he ever had seen such a confused world as right then.
Are We Maybe Living In The Last Days before Jesus Returns?
Jesus did say that the world would grow increasingly confused and Dan before He returns. But when Christ returns, our world will no longer be plagued with confusion and conflict. Because He will rule with perfect justice and peace. It might be difficult for us to imagine- but never forget who Jesus is: the eternal Son of God, who even now rules in Heaven with power and authority.
And He will Rule on Earth. As He does in Heaven.
The desire for control is a form of perfectionism, and we can alleviate it learning to embrace uncertainty.
Are you incredibly efficient, super competent and always get things done and keep things moving? Does all this micro-managing cause you to feel stressed out? Have you family and friends told you to lighten up?
You maybe a control freak. Control freaks have these behaviors and can have some benefits, this truth is the control freaks often create the very thing they’re trying to avoid, which is stress.
Here are some idea’s to try if your a control freak.
Observe Yourself, in order to change a behavior you have to realize that you’re doing it. Becoming a more mindful witness to your own behavior is the first set to making any behavioral change.
You need to my a commitment to observe you behavior for a few days and write down anytime you find yourself micro-managing, over planning, being over critical, overprotective, or obsessively worrying or any behavior that feels like you can’t resist doing up. Observing yourself this way can be hard to do.
Figure Out What Emotion Is Driving Your Behavior
You might think that your stress is a result of how hard you’re working to keep everything under control, but it’s actually distressing emotions that are driving your behavior-and causing your stress. In order to change your behavior, you have to identify which emotion you’re struggling with. There are many emotions to choose from:
I will tell you mine was fear. The emotion that usually behind controlling behavior is fear. Feeling in control is a basic human need, and life inevitably shows us that we can’t control everything. It makes you feel fearful and uncomfortable. Then in order to feel less fearful and more in control, you try controlling everything around you- even things that have nothing to do with the part of you’re life that made you feel badly to start with.
Say you even found yourself reorganizing your closet when you were upset about a argument you had with a loved one. Or maybe you start exercise regimen after you lost your job. Sometimes just identifying the emotion can make it lose some of its power over you and then you can start to curb your behavior.
Identify the Distorted Thinking and Challenge it.
Emotions often cause us to think in inaccurate ways. For example, your husband does the grocery shopping and buys a few of the wrong brands and instead of acknowledging that he got more right than wrong, you think, that he totally failed at this task and clearly he can’t be trusted to shop. This is an example of a common distortion called discounting the positives.
The key in this step is to stop and pay attention to what your thinking when you realize you’re feeling distressed or when you notice that you’re about the engage in one of the controlling behavior you’ve identified. Stop and ask yourself what am I thinking right now? Does how I’m thinking about this make sense or is it distorted in some way?
Often realizing you’re using emotions, reasoning instead of logical reasoning can change your perspective, reduce the intensity of the emotion your feeling and help you resist the urge in engage in a controlling behavior.
The mind is like an ocean. For many people, the mind is constantly moving, just like water, without ever coming to a rest. It is stirred up by our restless and rushing thoughts, and distractions which there are a lot in our modern world.
For many just like waves on the shore, our desires, and fears do not disturb us, but they prohibit us from finding peace of mind. Just like the wind, our thoughts and anxiety can lead to a stormy ocean, without allowing us to rest. The mind it’s self is neutral, just like water. If you were able to reduce the influences of our thoughts on you mind, you would create a calm sea,or mind.
Would if we could all return to a mind of peace, no cell phones, computer screens, no noisy retractions. Would our minds become more at peace?
Our mental calmness depends nightly on our ability to calm our thought. You won’t be able to calm the ocean by grasping the water in a hope that it won’t move. It simply won’t work.
It is necessary to address the root of the problem, which is the wind or in our case our fears, desires and thoughts. You will have to stop the wind or distractions if you want to calm your mind. With fewer distractions and most rest we can learn to control your emotions and thoughts. So that our mental state is unaffected. For this to work properly we need to control and strengthen our attention. Can we really see what’s going on, if we are distracted but our cell phones?
In general the term “a peaceful mind,”. is used to describe a mental state in which mental and emotional calmness prevail. It is a state of mind where your state of mind is not stirred up by anxieties and worries.
The mental activity is phased down so that quietness. Instead of distractions that trouble or future to the point of focusing what lies at this present moment. Are you troubled, fearful anxious of what’s going on right now? When was the last time you turned off your phone, computer, the news and really focused on yourself? Have an actual conversation with some one right beside you. Took a long relaxing bath, and stopped thinking about everything.
We have as experienced a fantastic mental state of distracting ourselves. Maybe. Vacation we took, or absorbed yourself in a amazing book. We were not troubled by our worries and thoughts. Instead our mind was calm- we had found inner peace.
How can we maintain a peaceful mind even in a stressful and hectic world where there is great despair and difficulties?
Media consumption can cause great turbulence within our minds. These media distractions range from television, radio, newspapers, video games, cellphones, and music that an heavily affect your mental state in a negative way.
I thought I was going to have a peaceful quiet commute the other day, and decided to turn of the radio in my car. It was very difficult to do. When I turned it off. I found it very difficult to be in the quiet car with this the sound of the tires rolling.
What is distracting you everyday? How do you find peace in your life.
I remember in pre-school and kindergarten we used to have “quiet time.” How many of us as adults give ourselves quiet time?