For me, self pity was like burying myself alive. “No one has it as terrible as I do.” I did this one thought at the time, digging myself into a hole, I was sure I could get out of. Each negative reflection, each “poor poor pitiful me“ murmuring, which chokes out hope and squelches dreams.
We all heard the quote about how harboring unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person (the person you can’t forgive) to die.
I chose to never forgive my mother for the childhood I had. But never forgiving anyone poisons you slowly. The problem way, I was killing my self not her. Self-pity is the overwhelming focus on our troubles. it blares like a megaphone and we learn to muffle the sound, to make it almost like background music, whatever you do, you can see and hear the sounds of pity welling up inside you. No matter the level of noise of the self-absorption, we’re still making ourselves miserable. No matter how much you drink, or how many drugs to take it’s still there refusing to shut up.
So, what is the antidote to get rid of self-pity? It’s as at as counting your blessings instead of counting your woes, instead of replaying your pain and trials over and over.
The thing is when we start being positive, things begin to look up. The good begins to drown out the bad. In Romans 8:28 God promises to bring good out of hard times. But you have to be willing to accept the good.
We all have someone who will support us, if we think hard. I get it, it’s hard to ask people for help, I had this “I will do everything myself attitude.” But we have to have someone who supports us and is willing to take that virtual shovel from our hands. And help us from digging ourself deeper and deeper. Someone to tells us, to stop feeling sorry for yourself, to, stop buying yourself alive in poor me thoughts.
Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non pharmaceutical narcotics; it’s addictive, it gives momentary pleasure and separates the person from reality.
From Pity to Praise 