Complaining Helps Nothing

Complaining about life leaves us stuck in a loop of negativity because venting accomplishes absolutely nothing.

Instead of wasting energy on what is out of our control, it’s better to shift our focus to direct action solutions and gratitude.

I have learned a few effective strategies that can help us begin taking our control back and break the cycle of complaining. I went to a counselor many years back that had helped me get rid of my constant complaining.

The first step was to give myself the right to have a pity party once a week. To complain about everything that was wrong with my life in a 15 minute span. The next are the following strategies:

• Audit Your Language: Commit to a 21 day no complaining challenge. When you catch yourself venting, consciously replace the thought with something you are grateful for who are direct question about how to improve the situation.
• Turn Venting into Requests: if you repeat the same complaint more than once, figure out how to frame it as a direct actionable request. For example I used to get frustrated when I would be unloading groceries and my husband would walk right by me and not help. My actionable request was asking him, “Can you just grab the heavy things that bring them in?” His reply was “Oh, I didn’t realize you needed help. My mother used to bring the groceries in.” I hadn’t realized he didn’t think he had to help, because of the way he was raised.
• Take Direct Action: if a problem is within your control, tackle it head on. If it is completely out of your control, stop giving your energy and focus your efforts elsewhere.

• Reframe your Perspective: constantly talking about your problem, only requires your brain to seek out more negativity. Shifting to an attitude of appreciation and actually transform relationships and career opportunities.

Changing your perspective on complaining means viewing it not as a release, but as movement without progress. To transform our complaint into actionable feedback or focused problem solving.