From Pity to Praise

Unforgiveness is a dangerous spiritual condition that separates us from God’s grace and poisons our souls.

Jesus teaches that if we do not forgive others he will not forgive us.

The trap of unforgiveness:.

We often think of hell as a destination for specific, notorious sins. However, scripture warns us that a quiet, hidden sin in the heart can be just as destructive. Unforgiveness is a spiritual prison. It binds us to past pain, blocks our relationships with God, and threatens our eternal security.

The Commandment to forgive:

Forgiveness is not a suggestion or an emotional option for a believer, It is a direct command from Jesus. When we refuse to forgive, we choose disobedience over God’s law to love.

In Matthew 18:21-22 Peter came to Jesus and asked Him, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

And in Colossians 3:13 Jesus tells us to, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you have a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

The direct danger to our salvation:

The Bible makes a terrifyingly clear connection between our willingness to forgive others and God’s willingness to forgive us. If we close our hearts to mercy, we close the door to God’s mercy for ourselves.

Matthew 6:14-15 tells us, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins your Father will not forgive your sins.”

The prison of torture and bitterness:

There is a parable in Matthew 18:34-35 about an unforgiving servant. Jesus described a man who was forgiven an impossible debt but he refused to forgive a small debt owed to him. The master of the servant turned the man he had forgiven to the jailer to be tortured. Unforgiveness eats away at our joy and hands us over to spiritual torment.

In Matthew 18:34-35 it tells us, “In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my Heavenly Father will treat of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Hebrews 12:25 says, “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

Sadly, I learned this too late, I held bitterness in my heart for my mother. It was only when she passed away that I learned this lesson. I had let bitterness and unforgiveness for her destroy my life for many years. Amazingly after I forgave her from my heart, I began healing from the effects of abuse and neglect she caused.

Forgiving someone does not mean that what they did was right, nor does it mean you have to trust them. Forgiveness means releasing the desire for revenge into God’s hands.

If you carry any resentment, bitterness, or unforgiveness in your heart that weight could cost you your soul. Let it go, choose to step into freedom of God’s complete forgiveness.

Once, a deeply loved and perfectly just king discovered that someone was stealing from his royal treasures. To uphold the law, he decreed that if the thief was caught they would receive a punishment of ten lashes. However, the stealing continued, and the king raised the penalty to forty lashes, which was essentially a death sentence.

When the king’s guards finally caught the thief, everyone was shocked because the thief was the king’s own daughter.

The kingdom waited to see what the king would do, if he pardoned her, his justice would be compromised, but if he punished her, his love for were would by broken.

On the day of the sentencing, the king’s daughter was tied to the execution post. The people were in disbelief that he would go through with the execution. But…

Just as the executioner raised the whip, the king shouted for him to stop. The king walked forward and wrapped His body tightly around his daughter to cover her, and ordered the executioner to strike. When the first executioner objected that hitting her would mean hitting the king, ultimately resulting in his death, while his daughter would be set free.

This illustration symbolizes how God handled humanity’s failures. Because God is just, the penalty for wrongdoing had to be paid. He chose to step in and pay that penalty Himself through Jesus.

This story was once told by Charles Spurgeon of a Saxon king who had the reputation among his tiny kingdom of being the most just king.

Miracles come in all shapes and sizes. And sometimes the miracle we want isn’t the miracle we need. It’s easy to miss the miracle God wants to do in our lives because we’ve placed Him in a box.

The Bible tells us in Isaiah 55:8-9,

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways me ways, declares the Lord, As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher that your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

Miracles come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes we are focused on the one big thing we want God to do, when in fact God is performing little miracles all along the way. Often it is those little miracles that come along the way that make the biggest impact on our lives. We may not even realize it until we look back and recognize what God did. The more this happens the more we can learn to look for God’s hand in everything.

When I was struggling through my life, wondering where God was and being angry at Him for giving me the family, I grew up with. While I felt alone, and was sure I was a mistake that was never meant to be born. I didn’t understand why God was keeping me alive when all I wanted was to lay down and never wake up again, even having nights I prayed for death. I didn’t understand that while my life was horrible He was patient with me and protected my life for a reason.

The miracle God performs in our lives often looks very different from the one we expected. I was praying for the miracle of death, but God gave me life. Sometimes what we want isn’t necessarily the best thing God has for us. God knows this and in His mercy and love for us, He often protects us from those things. Like me, I’m sure you can thank God now that you didn’t receive some of the things you wanted in the past.

Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” God always knows best and His plans for us are always good.

When we cannot see the final outcome, and all seems hopeless, it’s hard to believe God for a miracle in our lives. But it’s during these times especially, that God moves miraculously. It’s important that we do not lose hope, and look God. God can use our greatest heartache to reveal Himself through our greatest pain. He has the ability to turn our worst trial into our greatest testimony.

There is never a moment in our lives when God is not at work. He’s always working, and revealing Himself, and moving on our behalf. Our trials often bring us to the end of ourselves and position us to receive the greatest miracles God has for us.

Complaining about life leaves us stuck in a loop of negativity because venting accomplishes absolutely nothing.

Instead of wasting energy on what is out of our control, it’s better to shift our focus to direct action solutions and gratitude.

I have learned a few effective strategies that can help us begin taking our control back and break the cycle of complaining. I went to a counselor many years back that had helped me get rid of my constant complaining.

The first step was to give myself the right to have a pity party once a week. To complain about everything that was wrong with my life in a 15 minute span. The next are the following strategies:

• Audit Your Language: Commit to a 21 day no complaining challenge. When you catch yourself venting, consciously replace the thought with something you are grateful for who are direct question about how to improve the situation.
• Turn Venting into Requests: if you repeat the same complaint more than once, figure out how to frame it as a direct actionable request. For example I used to get frustrated when I would be unloading groceries and my husband would walk right by me and not help. My actionable request was asking him, “Can you just grab the heavy things that bring them in?” His reply was “Oh, I didn’t realize you needed help. My mother used to bring the groceries in.” I hadn’t realized he didn’t think he had to help, because of the way he was raised.
• Take Direct Action: if a problem is within your control, tackle it head on. If it is completely out of your control, stop giving your energy and focus your efforts elsewhere.

• Reframe your Perspective: constantly talking about your problem, only requires your brain to seek out more negativity. Shifting to an attitude of appreciation and actually transform relationships and career opportunities.

Changing your perspective on complaining means viewing it not as a release, but as movement without progress. To transform our complaint into actionable feedback or focused problem solving.

The Bible speaks extensively about the contrast between an outward public reputation and the true state of a person’s soul. It consistently warns that God sees through external appearances and values inner integrity over public praise.

Jesus directly addressed the concept of maintaining a beautiful public image while being spiritually corrupt.

He compared hypocritical religious leaders to “whitewashed tombs.” The reality was they look beautiful on the outside, but were full of dead bones and cleanliness on the inside. In Matthew 23:27 Jesus said, “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitened tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but inwardly are full of dead men’s bones, and of all uncleanliness.”

The lesson Jesus was trying to teach is that cleanliness must start from the inside out so that the outside may also be clean. Jesus spoke before verse 27 in Matthew 23:26, “You blind Pharisees, first clean the inside of the cut and of the platter, that it’s outside may become clean also.”

We as human beings judge by what is visible, but God operates on a deeper level of awareness.

1 Samuel 16:7 says, “Don’t look on his face, or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him, for I don’t see as man sees. For man look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

What is highly valuable among people can be detestable in God’s sight. In Luke 16:15 Jesus says, “You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts. For that which is exalted among men is an abomination in the sight of God.”

The reality is that no created being on earth is hidden from God‘s sight, everything is uncovered and laid bare before His eyes. Hebrews 4:13 tells us, “There is no creature that is hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and laid open before the eyes of Him to whom we must give an account.”

The Bible warns us that external religious rituals or a good reputation cannot mask a corrupt heart. God critiques those who honor Him with their lips while their hearts are far from Him. Doing good deeds solely to be seen by others earns human praise but holds no reward from God. Jesus warns us in Matthew 6:1 to, “Be careful that you don’t do your charitable giving before men, to be seen by them, or else you have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.”

Revelation 3:1 addresses a church with a great public reputation that was spiritually dead. “You have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead.”

Building a flawless public reputation, a pristine social media image, or a busy calendar of religious activities while allowing our actual relationship with God to rot from neglect. The Bible tells us good works mean nothing without a relationship with God. God is never fooled by the cosmetic paint of behavior modification, He looks past the whitewash and demands radical, internal resurrection.

Jesus offers us a lifeline of unwavering hope, peace, and salvation in the midst of life’s deepest storms. It can become an anchor for our soul to secure a connection to God’s presence when we feel completely overwhelmed.

When deep storms threaten to pull us under, Jesus remains our steadfast anchor. He doesn’t always stop the wind from blowing but He throws us a lifeline into the dark crashing waves to pull us to safety.

This lifeline involves several aspects of faith and grace. Just as a lifeguard rescues a drowning swimmer, Jesus comes directly into our darkest, most difficult circumstances to pull us to safety.

This anchor of hope in the Bible is often described as a lifeline, that provides firm assurance and a clear guide to spiritual peace.

It’s a model for grace. This lifeline isn’t just for receiving help, it calls us to throw out a life line to others who are struggling or drifting away.

Even in moments of uncertainty, Jesus offers grace, encouraging us to trade our questions for trust and belief.

The beautiful truth is that Jesus never abandons us in deep waters. When we feel like the waves are crashing over our heads, we can reach out and grab the lifeline Jesus offers and cling to His promises, lean into His unfailing love and let the Master of the wind hold us steady.