When You Just Don’t Care

Have you caught yourself thinking “I don’t care” lately? It can be important to notice and acknowledge this. While ‘I don’t care” May feel true in the moment, it also is likely to be a signal that something is not right. It may be calling your attention to what needs adjusting or changing in your life.

The phrase “I don’t care” when thought or said at home or work (or both) is a hint that something is out of balance or not working for you. It’s usually about a relationship, situation, or context in which you normally would, or maybe should actually care. But you may be too stressed, overwhelmed, or even burned out, to feel like you care in that momy.

When the words “I don’t care” shows up frequently in your thoughts or in your speech, it can be a strong indication you are overwhelmed, exasperated, depressed, or burned out. Listening to yourself to know what’s behind it can help you get clearer, and also get more choice or control over feeling better.

How do you tell the difference? Here a few things I do to help:

1. Begin by checking on your emotional energy that’s behind the “I don’t care” phrase, when you think it or say it to others. “I don’t care” almost always has more information to it than just those words at face value. Noticing what else is there in your body and feelings can give you more information. Our sensations and emotions are there to give us more information about what’s going on for us, and what we want and need. We need to become more in tune with them. They can point to the next steps for more balance, control, and happiness.

For example, if “I don’t care” comes up for you when demands are being put on you again, this could reflect the overwhelm or stress we have. You may notice more exasperated, frustrated, or angry underneath the “I don’t care.” That’s information. When we are pulled in to many directions, with tasks, especially for others, over time this can lead to self-distancing of the “I don’t care” phrase. It can be a signal that it’s time to speak up, set some new boundaries, and to choose you more often – or all of the above.

In that case, “I don’t care” is more a sign of too much negative stress. If the situation has been going on over a long period of time, burnout can frep in as well.

2. On the other hand, “I don’t care” and you check on what else in within “I don’t care” and you find more of a helpless, discouraged energy to it, that’s a different emotional end of the spectrum. In that case, the information you emotions are giving you may be more about your experiencing depletion, discouragement, or burnout. For many places, “I don’t care” then translates into “I just can’t do it anymore,” or “I can’t keep trying here any more – or for some people, even being able to imagine doing anything about it. By that point the burnout may be more serious, and it would be important to pay attention and maybe seek professional support.

I’m usually the type of person that gets burnt out and tends to just say “I done, I can’t do this anymore” and walk away from the entire situation. And then figure things out later when it can be to late.

But, it important to know and remember that there are always options internally even with challenging outer circumstances. And with burnout, paying attention to the internal options can help give you energy and clarity to make decisions about the external situation.

When burnout is an issue, it can help to pay additional attention to the internal options first to help give you the energy and clarity to make decisions before you at “that’s it I’m done “ situation. It can save you a lot of hurt in any situation (I’ve learned).

  • If you check inward and notice discouragement in your occasional thought or statement of “I don’t care,’ stick with it a little further to identify what’s bothering you about the situation or the person more specifically. Where do you have power, choice or control in the situation, even if it initially feels like you don’t? What would need to change in the situation for you to feel your control and capacity again? These questions can give you a place to start to generate options and know your own truth more clearly.
  • “I don’t care” can also have irritability to it, or sarcasm, or more direct underlying anger. This can be present in high stress situations that have gotten more chronic, and also when long-term stress is developing into burnout,
  • If you notice “ I don’t care” is in your thoughts and speech many times a day along with feeling depleted hopeless energy, or with an irritability or angry feeling to it, that may indicate depression, burnout, or both.

These days “I’m depressed” can either mean your having difficulty getting out of bed in the morning for days or weeks at a time (clinical depression) or I’m actually not getting out of bed some days when there are things to do and responsibilities waiting. Clinical depression can include changes in weight, appetite or both. It can include changes in mood over a period of two weeks or more. If this is happening please get help.

“I don’t care” can also reflect burnout. Burnout can be different than clinical depression, in which the feelings and mood can be discouraged or “down“ during burnout, or irritable and angrier than usual, without meeting the criteria for a clinical diagnosis of depression.

But feeling discouraged, down or more negative and tired than usual does not have to fit the criteria for clinical depression to be serious.

By definition, burnout includes physical exhaustion as well as metal and emotional exhaustion. “I don’t care” in this case can be more of a indication of depletion, of needing rest and renewal on more that just the physical levels. It can be a signal of feeling so spent that you’ve given all you can give, so your disconnecting. I’m saying “I don’t care” to not feel even more demands on me to keep doing more and giving more, when I feel like I have nothing more to give. I may be distancing myself with irritability because I’m just spent and frustrated.

I urge you not not wait until you reach the “ I don’t care, I’m done phase. Check in with yourself to see what kind of energy underlies the “I don’t care” that you catch yourself thinking or saying out loud, you get more information about your experience. Knowing whether you’re “stressed out” or heading more toward “burn out” can help you understand your specific experience better. It can help you listen inward more skillfully, then be able to take the most appropriate steps to get back on track and recover physically, mentally, and emotionally.

We all need to learn to transform stress into success from the inside out,

Keeping The Faith

We cannot store faith, we cannot hoard faith, the only way to keep the faith is to use it. The word of God says, faith comes from what is heard, and what is heard comes through the message about Christ. So, believing comes by hearing and hearing from the Word of God.

Ways To Keep The Faith

Remember that God is in control

Even in our worst circumstances, know that God has a plan and purpose for every situation: “The steps of a man are ordered by God and He delights in his way. Though he falls, he will not be overwhelmed, for the Lord is holding his hand” (Psalm 37:23-24). No matter how bleak things look, God is working out your situation for his glory. Sometimes our path is smooth and flat; other times, our path is so rocky we find ourselves stumbling aimlessly and falling frequently. Yet, God knows where those steps are going to lead, but we must trust Him with our life’s direction. Don’t meander off the path, but place one foot in front of the other. Soon, your path will straighten and you will understand the purpose of that rocky path and also the promised land toy were meant to find.

Practice Contentment

Easier said that done, right? How could I practice being content in a situation where I feel like I’ve lost everything? No one undue to having anything better that the Apostle Paul: “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want” (Philippians 4:12). Many quote the verse, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” (Philippians 4:13) without understanding the context.

What it really means to be strength through Christ. This verse doesn’t mean we can try out for a professional football team or be the president of a Fortune 500 company simply because you want it. As Paul stated, he practiced contentment both in times when he was in need and in want. He received the Lords strength in order to do it

Be the Prodigal Child

I know that sounds odd, but consider the account. Two sons, one asks his dad for his inheritance early, Dad is obedient and gives His inheritance to both sons. One goes off and squanders his, the other remains on the family field, slaving away trying to earn that reward. The oldest brother grumbles and wants nothing to do with his brother. The prodigal son comes to his senses and with a heart of humility and repentance comes to his father, knowing he doesn’t deserve his fathers love and forgiveness. In a situation where all was lost, the prodigal son knew he didn’t deserve a blessing, but the older brother expected it. Come to the Lord not with expectation, but with humility and patience. Practice Joy in your circumstances, even when the seem bleak. If you do, God may bless you in ways you can only imagine and definitely don’t deserve.

Pray with shameless audacity

In Luke 11, there is a parable about a pEason that goes knocking on a friends door in the middle of the night for some bread. The friend tells him to go away because it’s night time. The parable ends with this: “I tell you, even though he will not getup and give you the bread because of friendship, yet because of your shameless audacity he will surely get up and give you as much as you need,” God hears our prayers, but sometimes we have to wait for his perfect timing to hear the answer, however, there are times when we choose not to give up and keep knocking to ask God for what we want or need. God honors those that have a faith so reckless that are willing to pound on God’s door if necessary to get an answer. Have enough shameless audacity to ask God for an answer. At best, you’ll get an answer. At worst, you’ll use the time in which you are waiting to productively ask God for what you want.

Ask for help

It can be difficult to keep the faith when circumstances are lass than favorable, but what if God uses our pain in life to help encourage others? Consider those with which you regularly attend church or someone you know, who is also a believer, that may have gone through trials and tribulations as well. How did they cope? Do they have any tips or advice on how to weather this storm in your life?

Even if your friends don’t have any specific tips, you could always use the same extra prayers. The more people knocking on God’s door, the better.

Serve the Lord

There’s something about serving others that allows you to shift your focus from yourself to them. Not sure where or how to start serving! Ask your pastor where you might be able to use your gifts in service to both your local church body and the Lord. This will replace your sadness with joy, anxiety with peace, and restlessness with contentment. If you are keeping yourself busy with service, you won’t have time to focus on your circumstances. You could also serve in your community. I am a Chaplin for a local veteran organization.

If your not sure what your gifts are? Don’t worry so much about whether your service fits with your “gifts” or “calling.” Consider that God raised you up for such a time for whatever need is before you. Whatever you do, do it with a cheerful humble spirit.

Keep Quiet

For me, when I’m feeling bad, I try to self-medicate with eating or shopping, but, scripture is clear: “Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people” (Philippians 2:14-16). Don’t give in to the temporary pleasure of complaining to someone so you can feel better about your situation. Instead, journal and go to God with your anger and fears. He can handle it. Keeping God at the center will help your light shine brightly in the sky as you light a darkened world.

Keeping Your Faith Is Possible In The Hardest Moments Of Life

I don’t know what you are going through, but I do know it is not impossible to keep your faith intact. Although it is tough, God has equipped each one of us to handle our situations. By utilizing these tools and leaning on the body of Christ, you can navigate the stormy seas of life with peace and contentment rather than anger and anxiety.

From Breakdown To Breakthrough

Sometimes it takes someone else coming into our situation to tell us that God has something better for us.

God has incredible ability to untangle an upward plan that do not serve His eternal purposes. We spend much of our time planning the path in front of us. We assume we know what we need. We think we can chart a proper path that will lead us to peace and prosperity. And then in the moment, the plans fail. Despair is the easy move and set times.

When your plans don’t work out or your strategy doesn’t come through for you, rather than being agitated and or agonizing over what didn’t happen, take some time to invite God into this situation. Ask him to lead with a word that speaks to your situation. Let him guide you into better plan that you could have an ever imagined.

If you turn to the Lord and receive His direction, He will release words that set you up for success, facilitate fruitfulness, and create a path that will bring His purposes about.

When our plans fail, that’s temptation is to fall into discouragement. But we might have to fight that off. Sometimes God allows our small plants to fail so that His big purposes or can prevail.

When is your vision, you try to hold onto it, but if it’s God’s vision it will hold onto you.

The Idol Of Self

We see it in the whines of a little boy, We see it in the entitlement of the teenager, you see it in the needless argument of married couples over something unimportant, and we see it in the bitterness of a old man. None of us has escaped this disease. It infects all of our hearts. It is the reason for so much of the brokenness, anger, and pain in the human community. It is the foundation of so much unhappiness and generations of war. It is a personal and moral disaster, yet it seduces us all. It’s power draws all of us in. We see it in others and deny it in ourselves. It makes for uncomfortable family moments, friendship disloyalty and violence in the streets. It makes us envious and demanding. It causes discontent to be more natural that thankfulness. It ruins our vacations and holidays. It makes us spend ourselves into hopeless debt, to fall into paralyzing addiction, and to eat more then we ever should. It turns siblings on siblings and makes war-making more natural than peacemaking.

What is this thing the kidnaps us all? It is the selfishness of sin. The idol of idols really is the idol of self. We make it all about us. We put ourselves in the center of the story. We evaluate life from the vantage point of a scary and tragic “me-ism.” We pull the borders of our concerns into the narrow confines of what we want, what we feel, what we dream, and what we think we need. A good day is a day that is pleasurable and easy for me. A good circumstance is one in which I get my way. A good marriage is one in which my spouse becomes a servant to my dream for my life. A good church has the worship, programs, and preaching that satisfy me. A good job is one that keeps me happy and engaged. It is a life shaped by a shrunken kingdom of one.

But the first four words of the Bible confront us with the inescapable reality that it is not all about us. They confront us with the truth that life comes from, is controlled by, and exists for another. We will never be at the center because God is. It will never be about us because it’s about Him. Our will won’t be done because His kingdom will. Life will not submit to us because ultimately all things will submit to Him. He is at center stage. He is the spotlight character. Life is not found in putting ourselves at the center. That only leads to disfunction, disappointment, and brokenness. Jesus came to decimate our misplaced loyalty so that we would find freedom from bondage to ourselves and know the peace that passes understanding. Adam and Eve’s rebellion becomes our delusion, and for that there is rescuing grace.

Amos 6:1-9