The Styles Of Anger

You probably knew that there are various styles of communication that people use to express their anger. But, it may be surprising to learn that there are 5 styles – aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, assertive, and projective-aggressive.

Once you learn about what types of anger people have, it will open your eyes to learn more about who they are and who you are.

Aggressive Anger:

The person using the Aggressive style of anger often feels the need to be in control of themselves, other people, and situations. They do not take no for an answer and they use hurt and/or anger to manipulate others into feeling guilty or backing down. Some patterns that typically emerge are the aggressive use sarcasm, humiliation, put downs, complaints, threats, and abuse to get what they want.

Passive Anger:

A Passive anger style tend to want to avoid conflict and confrontation. These individuals do not tend to express their needs and feelings and have a difficult time saying no without feeling guilty. A passive anger style tries hard to avoid hurting others because if leads them to feel guilty. They also avoid angering others so that they can avoid feeling uncomfortable and/or fearful.

Passive-Aggressive Anger:

People with Passive-Aggressive anger style are not as outwardly aggressive toward others as the Aggressive style and they do not want to avoid the conflict as the Passive style instead, when they are mad, they want to get even and may use seduction and/or manipulation to get what they want. They are often nice to your face and use behind the back techniques to get even. They may use the silent treatment, withdraw their love/affection and their attention, gossip, tattle, or refuse to cooperate. When asked what is wrong , they often say “nothing” even though their body language or behavior clearly communicates that their is something wrong.

Projective-Anger:

A person using Projective-Aggressive anger style may appear passive but they are not. They are usually pretty angry and are afraid to own and express their anger. Instead, they project their anger onto others and/or may get others to act out their anger for them. They may say to you that you appear angry when you are not.

Assertive-Anger

Lastly people using Assertive anger style state they need a direct, open, and honest way and do not wait for others to read their mind. At the same time, they consider other people’s needs and feelings. They respect themselves and expect others to treat them with respect and dignity. They feel responsible for their own life and choices.

How To Achieve Self-Empowerment

What ever you are thinks about whether it is going back to school, applying for a promotion or just setting new goals in your personal life. You’ll need to empower yourself if your going to stay motivated.

The first steps should be to nurture and embrace the confidence to put yourself forward. Confidence only he,os to understand where your starting line is; it helps you lay out the path you’ll need to reach the finish line. This is where self empowerment comes in.

Self-empowered people take control of their lives by setting goals and taking actionable steps to achieve them. They no only understand how to get things done. But their also confident, focused, and comfortable making decisions that guide them toward their future. If you’re confidence is shaky or your insecure about you ability to achieve your goals in life, you can take several steps to live a more empowered life.

What Is Self-Empowerment?

Self-empowerment means making a conscious decision to take charge of your life and your destiny. It involves making positive choices, taking action to advance and being confident in your ability to make and execute the decisions in your life. When you’re self-empowered you understand your strengths and weaknesses and are motivated to learn and achieve.

For example, if someone is laid off from their job, they can be passive in their job search and wait for the employers to contact them after they’ve put in applications. Instead of taking proactive steps toward finding a new and better job. To do this they can begin to contact former colleagues, researching opportunities, updating their job skills and revamping their resume. Learn everything you can about the goal you want to achieve, the job your applying for. Self-empowerment allows people to recognize that they have the power to make choices that can help them achieve their goals. Don’t sit on the sidelines and think opportunities are going to come to you.

Here are Some Tips To Help You Achieve Self-empowerment:

If you’re striving to attain personal empowerment, focus on your drive, identify what you can control, and keep an objective, goal- oriented mindset. The following tips can help you achieve self-empowerment.

1. Develop A Positive Attitude

People who believe they control their own destiny – rather then giving into external concepts such as fate, luck, or circumstance are more likely to take charge of their future. Cultivate a positive attitude and outlook by evaluating your strengths, pursuing your passions, and trusting in your abilities.

2. Set Reasonable Goals

Measurable, achievable goals are an important component of empowerment, and understanding how to shut them and help you feel good about your achievements. If you want to run a marathon, start smaller, and increase distances rather than trying to run 26.3 miles on one day.

3. Surround Yourself With Positive People

Laughter is contagious and with so much pessimism and negativity in the world today. By surrounding yourself with like-minded, motivated people that can help you feel empowered to reach your goals is a good place to be. If your self-esteem takes a blow, Schedule time with positive friends, peers, and family members. Experiencing their positivity can improve your mental well-being and minimize your negativity and empower you to follow your dreams.

4. Practice Self-Care

Self-care includes any activity that you do by yourself to feel happy and healthy. It can include everything from eating right exercising or treating yourself to a spa treatment. Scheduling time to relax and rejuvenate will make you more productive. Being kind to yourself and help you be confident you wereBeing kind to yourself and help you

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5. Use Positive Self-Talk

To live a self empowered life focus on what you do I supposed to what you can’t. For example if you want to apply for a promotion that requires a second language like Spanish instead of saying “I don’t speak Spanish” try “ I don’t speak Spanish yet. But I can learn.” Practicing self affirmation and displaying confidence in your ability to achieve goal and help you take steps to achieve them.

6. Be Assertive

People who strive for personal empowerment must be comfortable expressing their thoughts, ideas, and needs. If you and why did your party but have an important presentation today, let the host know you’ll be leaving early to prepare. Or if you and a coworker Are collaborating on a project, but you’re doing most of the work, don’t feel guilty about addressing the situation head on and asking them to do their fair share.

8. Create An Action List

Empowered people take action, exhibit a growth mindset, and are comfortable learning and developing their ability. They also understand that success is not home overnight but is an accumulation of decisions and actions. If your goal is to finish college with him for years, it’s the actions you need to take you achieve that goal, such as researching financial aid options, enrolling in an online program, and establishing a study schedule that you can stick to.

People who consciously decide Can you take control of their lives are often happier, more fulfilled and were satisfied with your lives. Taking steps to live a life that you design offers numerous benefits. If your goal includes starting, completing, or advancing anything in your life. Take the steps forward to doing what you can do, whether it’s college, technical programs, or online studies. Begin to live yourself empowered life that will bring happiness and success in your life today.

We Are All Slaves

We’re all slaves, the question is, to whom or to what? Everyone is willing to make sacrifices, the question is, to whom or for what? We all follow rules, the question is, whose or for what? We all give our hearts to something the question is, to whom or to what? We were never hardwired to be free, if by “freedom” we mean as independent, self-sufficient life.

We were created by God to be connected to something vastly bigger than ourselves. We were designed to have our lives organized and directed by an agenda that is bigger than our true personal desires and goals. We were carefully built by God to have every aspect of our personhood connected to Him and His plans for us, and when we reject Him, we don’t live autonomously; we replace Him with something or someone.

So God in grace doesn’t set you free, because He knows you wouldn’t be free. You and I would quickly enslave ourselves once again. Because sin still lives in our hearts, we’re all slaves going somewhere to happen. And the sad reality is that it doesn’t take much to enslave us again to a person or a thing that begins to function as our replacement messiah. So what does grace offer? The answer is the world’s most wonderful, heart-satisfying, life-changing, and hope produced slavery. The one who alone is able to give us life enslaves our hearts to Him. His absolute ruler ship over every area of our lives is not a deadening law but a life-giving grace. He is freeing us from slavery to what is not true and cannot deliver. He is rescuing us from serving what will never give us life. He is protecting us from seeking hope where hope will never be found. It really is true – His call to obey is a tool of His rescuing grace.

He really does know how short-lived our resolve needs to be. He really understands our wondering eyes and our disloyal hearts. So He commands our allegiance so that we will not serve other masters. The Apostle Paul says it well in Romans 6:22, “But not that we have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit we get leads to sanctification and it’s end, eternal life.” God’s call to obey doesn’t end our life; it’s meant to protect the life that only He can give us.

With The World In Chaos, Control What You Can

There are times in our lives when we are confronted with the reality that we are not in control of the world around us.

As hard as we try, and as much as we’d like to think we’re in control, the reality is, that we are not. And some seasons and circumstances remind us of that fact,

A natural disaster, a terminal diagnosis, a wayward child, an unexpected layoff… are some examples.

At this current moment in time, almost everyone in the world, simultaneously, is being confronted with the reality of the lost control of Covid-19, a tiny virus, invisible to the naked eye, that sent our reality out of control. (it will take years to recover). It disrupted everything in it’s path, even life as normal.

The control we thought we had was updated.

We of course never had as much control over our lives and the world as we thought we did. (no matter our take on this little virus) it uprooted our way of living.

So, how do we respond when the world is in choas? How did you begin to move forward? No matter how we choose to move forward, we have to begin to take back control of what we can control – even in the smallest of ways.

We’ve all been reminded that we are not in ultimate control of the universe. But that does mean we’ve lost all the ability to maintain control of our lives We need to remember even if our usual day-to-day opportunities are taken away from us by another, there is still much we can control.

We can choose to get up in the morning and get moving for the day ahead.

We can choose what we watch on television and when to shut off the news media when it starts getting to us.

We can always control our attitude and our response to the people and events around us.

We can choose to help others instead of being angry about the way things are. Remember everyone handles situations differently and we need to respect others decisions.

So, while this world is in chaos. Control what you can, and be thankful for what you have. Everything can be taken away in an instant.

The Paralyzing Power Of Fear

The most common emotion in the lives of human beings is fear. Fear, by definition, is a response that seeks to avoid threatening danger. Fear is our reaction when danger threatens. Irrational fear (fear that goes beyond the scope of common sense) are sometimes called “phobias”

Two basic fears are already present at the time of birth. One is fear of loud noises; the other is fear of falling. Even a very small child has those fears built into the bodily constitution. And then as we grow older, we begin to have many additional fears. Phobias are common to all people. Psychologists name more than 200 of them – each of them having a technical name. There is “acrophobia” – fear of high places; another called “ claustrophobia“ – fear of closed places; there are fears of the dark, fear of dirt, and decease, even the fear of number 13 and black cats, many fears are really superstitions, but all phobias are very real to those who fear.

The Far Reaching Effects Of Fear

Wrong kinds of fear can produce effects. Scientists do experiments with animals. For ex, they feed cats some barium sulfate and then watch the muscle waves in the stomach as the food is mixed and the process of digestion takes place. The muscle waves are even and smooth. But if a dog is brought into the room, immediately something happens. All the smooth even muscle waves in the cat’s stomach become pulsating ripples, and the digestive processes are upset. Fear can produce paleness of skin, rapid heartbeat, an upset stomach, and nervousness. It can cause high blood pressure and arthritis, and intense fear can even lead to blindness. This does not mean that everyone suffering from these physical problems is a victim of fear (and lacks true faith), but fear can be the springboard (the starting point) for many physical ailments.

The physical effects of fear can be serious and devastating, but it is far more serious to realize what fear can do to our spiritual condition. Fear can lead to instability, unhappiness, and a lack of contentment. It is the enemy of faith. It’s saps spiritual vitality and it can paralyze the soul.

Imagine if their were two lions blocking the path to a heavenly city. The lions are ready to tear anyone to shreds should anyone come their way. A Christian who is traveling on that path toward the city grows increasingly fearful, but slowly presses on. As they get closer to the lions, they discover that the lions only growl. God has the lions changed, and the Christian passes between them unharmed. Faith has many enemies, but one of the greatest enemies of faith is fear.

The Principle Kinds Of Fear

A careful study of the Scriptures indicates that there are several kinds of fear. There are several Hebrew words (in the Old Testament) that are translated “fear.” And in the New Testament, there are several Greek words which are sometimes translated “fear.” In summary, there are three basic kinds of fear.

  • Reverential Fear. Which is a holy fear. It is really an awe and respect for the majesty and holiness of God. It is a godly reverence. Reverential fear is an awe for the Heavenly Father. It is a fear of displeasing God.

Reverential fear is a good kind of fear. It is always right. David speaks of this fear as being clean and pure (Psalm 19:9). The writer of Proverbs says that godly fear is the beginning of true wisdom (Proverbs 1:7). It is this kind of fear the enables human beings to respect God’s authority and to obey His commands. Psalm 2:11 says, “Serve the Lord with fear,and rejoice with trembling “ Proverbs 16:6 says that “by the fear of the Lord, men depart from evil.” Therefore if someone says “You should fear the Lord?” This is what their speaking of.

In Hebrews 5:7 we read that Jesus was feared. The scripture says, “Who in the days of His flesh, when He offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears… was heard, in that He feared.” The Bible says that Jesus Prayed fervently because He feared. But in the word that word means “reverence.” Jesus was heard because He had reverence for God. We too (in Hebrews 12:28) are admonished to “serve God with reverence and godly fear.” This is not the fear of the cringing coward, but the fear of reverence.

  1. Constitutional Fear. This is the fear that is necessary for the perforation of the human race. Constitutional fear is a normal God-given emotion. God has built into each one of us and instinctive alarm system which is designed to protect us from harm – from drunken drivers, rattlesnakes, hardened criminals, and fierce storms. These are normal fears which are necessary for our protection, and for the preservation of life. There is nothing wrong with holding these fears.

A preacher was 10 minutes late for a preaching appointment. He apologized to the audience and explain that he got into traffic but we’re heavier than usual. He said, “I simply decided after a long period of frustration, that it would be better could be 10 minutes late in this world then he’ll be several years early in the next world – and so I drive carefully.” That was a constitutional fear. The preachers fear of an accident helped him exercise proper caution. This is a normal God-given emotion and very nothing wrong with it.

Fear is one of the greatest teachers in the world. Fear of sickness often causes people to practice good healthy habits. Fear sometimes causes students to prepare well for final exams. We are cautious drivers to drive cautiously on the snow-covered highway. We teach children who fear somethings. We warn them about hazardous traffic, hot stoves and high places. These are proper kinds of fear. There is a limit of course. Some parents go beyond the boundaries of a reasonable limit, And as a result, there are children who are horrified at the side of a spider, and may become almost hysterical, because one or both of their parents have reacted that way.

Constitutional fears or God-given emotions that are designed to protect us from harm. A young boy got a job in the zoo, and the keeper told him one day we go into the wind cage and clean it out. The young man said, ” No sir, boss, i’m ain’t goin into no lions cage and clean it out.” The Keeper told him it was he would have to go in and do the job, and then he added, “ after all, that lion is a teen lion and he won’t hurt you.” The boy thought for a moment, and sad, “That may be so – he might not hurt me – but he could make me hurt myself.” The keeper said, “Come on – call write on it, just Lion with race on milk.” The young man thought a moment again and said, “ I was raised on milk too, but I eat meat now!”

Young man described above was a good thinker. You see – Fear is a wonderful protection from harm.

  • Carnal Fear. Carnal fear is a senseless dread and nagging anxiety. This is a fear that is always evil. It is a craven and a base kind of fear. This. Greek word carries with it the idea of an unhealthy destructive kind of dread. Many examples of carnal fear are found in the Bible:

It is a fear expect by Adam when he had sinned. Adam ran and hid himself, and when he was asked why he was hiding, he said “ because I was afraid” (Genesis 5:10).

It is this kind of fear expressed I was children of Israel when Joshua and Caleb tried to convince the rebellious people to leave Kadesh-Barnes and go on up into Canaan. In Numbers 14:9 The Israelites were told not “fear the people of the land” because their protection was gone. The Lord promise to be with Israel.

It is the kind of fear expressed by Felix after he had heard the apostle Paul Preach about righteousness and temperance, and judgement to come (Acts 24:25). The Bible says Felix was afraid and said, “When I have a convenience season, I will call for thee.”

Arnold beer is the kind of slavish dread which causes one to be unduly afraid of death. One French movie personality said, “At time I wake up in the middle of the night, and my hair stand on end when I think I am going to die someday.” The writer of Hebrews speaks of those who “through the fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage” (Hebrews 2:15).

Down through the ages, Death has been a source of fear. One of the reasons people fear death it’s because of the fear of loneliness. God created us with a built-in need for love and companionship. Most normal people do not desire to be hermits. Solitary confinement can drive a person insane.We all cry out for the comfort of another person’s voice in that bracing grip of another person’s hand. We like fellowship with others. Even people who are shy and backwards in nature, are glad we’re friends. But what could be more lonely than death? A preacher is talking with his little son dying of a dreaded disease. The little guy looked up into his father’s face and said, “ daddy – am I going to die?” The broken heart with trembling lips, the father said, “ yes son – the Doctor says so; are you afraid?” The child said, “No,, i’m not afraid, but I wish someone could go along with me.”

Part of the fear of death lives right here. When we breathe our last breath, and when we close our eyes for the last time on the things of earth – we slip out into the future- seemingly alone. Loved ones at stand by our bedsides. They can stay there until the very end, but they cannot go beyond the veil of death. However, for the Christian, the loneliness of death is not what it seems! We are alone – yet not alone! Jesus is with us in the hour of death! He promised not to forsake us. In Psalms the scripture says, Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death”No I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I will fear no evil, for thou art with me” (Psalm 23:4). When we come to the valley of death, we will find our good shepherd is with us still.

These have been kind of fear: The reverential awe which inquiring just you OK God’s commands; The constitutional fear which causes us to be careful about giving particularly dangerous thing; and those carnal fears which rob our piece of mind and cripple are usefulness and spoil our normal healthy living. Carnal fears include fears that we might become ill with cancer, or that one day our children might become crippled for life, or that the enemies nation’s might destroy our country. These unwholesome kinds of fear can cause people to live in a constant state of anxiety in misery. These fears are really the result of unbelief in the fatherly care of our creator. And so there are right kind of fear and the wrong kind of fear. Fear can be good, but it also can be evil.

The word “fear” Can we use either way in the Bible. Whether it is good fear or a bad kind of fear it’s often determined by just setting in which they were used. In 1 Peter 2:17, we read, “ honor all men; Love the brotherhood (and sisterhood); fear God.” Fear in that sense is used in a good sense. It is the godly, reverential fear. The Bible also says perfect love casts out fear. And that burst into using the bad sense. Perfect love does not pass out all fear- constitutional fears nor reverential fear – But the unwholesome and carnal crimes of fear artist filled by the true love of the Lord.

The Remedy For Conquering Fear

We sometimes fall victim to fear either because we lack knowledge of God’s promises in the Bible, or because we lack faith to believe that those promises are true.

We can conquer fear by learning the power of love.

Our remedy of overcoming the wrong kind of fear, is true love for God. A fearful child loses fear when he nestled in his mother’s arms. We are not afraid to fall asleep if we are surrounded by those who love us. Just so, when a person loves God, and have faith in him as a controller of the universe, he does not need to be a slave of superstition and fear.

There are all kinds of abnormal fears that can grip us.There is a fear of nuclear war, fear of being attacked by a criminal, fear of losing a job, but want to be hauled to the fact that God is our concerned father. One who sincerely cares for us and loves us, our lives can be swept clean from harmful fears.