The Power Of Forgiveness

When I became an Adult, I had a lot of baggage I was carrying. This bandage way weighing me down horribly. I was unable to forgive my mother for what she did to me as a child, my boyfriend’s that hurt me so badly, my sister for abandoning our father,and even my husband for the way he treated me when I was sick.

When I became a Christian and began reading the Bible. I was still not sure I could forgive anyone. I hated these people I think that is more than un-forgiveness. In Matthew 18: 21-22 the Lord answered Peters question about forgiveness as I read this the Lord’s answer stopped me in my tracks. I was still at the eye for an eye way of thinking and didn’t know if I was ready to make a commitment to God’s ways.

As I decided to go all in I though perhaps He needed to hear me out on this forgiveness thing, I was sure he would understand once I told him the things that I was unable to forgive. Just in case He hadn’t heard me correctly. I even went into the poor poor pitiful me woes. I He listened then closed down my play and gave me more time to read between the lines. It was to make me sure I heard Him correctly.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet shed on the heel that crushed it.

Mark Twain

Forgiveness can, at times, be a hard pill to swallow especially if you are one who needs to do the forgiving.

How could I forgive a mother who beat me and locked me in the closet, who starved me to the point of malnutrition. A mother who would not let me speak.

Has forgiving someone been difficult for you? I really try to live a good and honest life, to be fair and kind to others. Back when I couldn’t forgive anyone for anything, when someone would do something to make me angry with my nose flaring, or saying something about my past would trigger me to the point to stir my pot. It was hard to turn the other cheek. Before I couldn’t just let things slide off my back. I have forgiven many people, even my mother. It is well buried and I’ve gotten over it.

And, yes my husband and I are still married. I’ve forgiven him and he has forgiven me. We are starting over. Life has been good.

Through trial and error, I’ve the forgiving isn’t forgetting, it being able to move on without anger or being shackled to the wrong that people have done to me. I deal with this because I am someone who believes the God has given us all kinds of emotions, some are healthy and some not so much. I believe he must be okay with me expressing the occasional unhealthy emotions. When the unhealthy emotions surface, I allow myself a minimum amount of time to express then in my time ways from people. I talk to God about these emotions and listen to him when he answers.

When we are in the presence of a unhealthy visitor. Don’t feel bad if you have to show them the door. I say aloud to them it’s time for you to leave now. When I have to make an exit from people in society. I walk away. And clear my head.

Psalm 19:15 says “Let the words of your mouth and the thought of my heart favor before you, O’ Lord, my rock and redeemer.

He is the best one to calm me down and to remind me how far I have come from the old me. I keep the Bible and spiritual books near me and do not feed my anger which could lead to not feeling very forgiving. Is it easy? No. At least not for me. I do have to remind myself that God has a plan for me, and it’s doesn’t involve my attitude.

For I know the plans I have for you, this is the Lord’s declaration- plans your well-being, not for disaster, but to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11

Another way is that I remember the many, many times God has forgiven me. Thinking of those times I have to take a humble pill, it gets easier as o remind myself that I am not perfect and neither are the people who I’ve come in contact with. I have realized that many people act the way they do because their lives have been hard too. Everyone has a background story.

Forgiving ourselves. I have spoken to many people who have trouble forgiving themselves. Something has happened in their past and this has made them feel shame or beaten down. They want to move forward but, they do not feel worthy of being forgiven. For almost 40 years I had felt unworthy, like I was to blame for what my past was like. Not anymore!

I think if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him.

C.S. Lewis

It maybe difficult but those are the times we have to separate yourself from any one who wants to tear down and not build up. I had to do this some who were close to me. This doesn’t mean you must stay away forever, but at least until you are strong enough to say “That’s not who I am now, I choose to not go back where I was.

Come now, let us set things right, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they may become white as snow; though they are crimson red, they may be white as wool.

Isaiah 1:18

This Isaiah verse helped me tremendously. With God’s help, I could shed layers of guilt, hurts, and shame that I had piled on myself. He let me see the woman He had created me to be.

Areas Of Your Life Satan Wants To Enter.

Satan wants nothing more than to enter these areas of our lives so he can gain a stronghold. He’ll try anything to throw us off center, distract us from our focus, and render us ineffective for the kingdom of God.

I have lived these for many years in my past. There are common areas he attacks. Not just in men or women, but all of us. Along as we are aware of his strategies, we can be on guard to keep him out of his targeted entry points.

Your Heart- so it’s not Gods alone

There’s a reason God’s Word tells us: “Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23). Satan knows he has an entry point into your life if God is not first in our hearts. God’s first commandment, set forth was “You shall have no other god’s before me. (Exodus 20:3). And Jesus restated that under a New Covenant when he was asked what the greatest commandment. And he responded by saying “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind. (Luke 10:27). Satan’s greatest desire is to prevent you from giving God all your heart so he wi,, constantly dangle people, things, and desires in front of you. Anything to distract you so he can erect a false god in front of you that you don’t even realize you have.

In my younger years it was drugs and sex. As I got older it was attention, I would do anything do get attention, mostly bad attention. I would get really depressed because of the life I was living. It brought me to trying to kill myself many times. And then sleep I would sleep all the time to forget my misery. Only to ignore my husband and my children. I lived in misery for 45 years. Until I was completely broke emotionally, mentally and physically. Then my children invited me to church. It changed my life forever. For the better. Once I started believing in God my life started looking up. No-one can tell my all that pain and suffering wasn’t from Satan.

Satan will try and lure you with a false god, sex, drugs, a spouse or love, interest, a dream,a goal, a hobby or a lifestyle. Some of us start loving other things more than God- food, money, recreation, a substance, or a feeling, like being in love, more than God, Himself. Guard you heart by keeping God on the throne of your life so Satan doesn’t try to sneak anything else in there.

Some people are afraid they will have to give something up if they follow God. The truth is I have not lost anything from following God I have gained things in abundance.

Your Worries- to make you doubt God’s love and provision .

Satan wants to stressed out because the your not resting in God’s ability to care for you. Women tend to stress over the temporal- bills that must be paid, whether or not a man will come into there lives, if they will have a child, what someone is saying about us, how our body looks, and so one. Men tend to stress about their jobs, providing for their families, whether or not they’ll make the cut in several areas in their lives. Then theirs health concerns, fears, and other situations that can crowd out God’s peace in out lives and even causes Lamar God for our circumstances.

Are you living like God’s love and provision are real?

Don’t let Satan in this door through his tantalizing “what if?” Questions and the doubts he weaves through your mind. God instructs us in Philippines 4:6-7 to be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard you hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Keep praying about your concerns and keep thanking God ahead of time for what He’s about to do, so Satan doesn’t get a stronghold in your mind through your worries and fears.

Your Everything Thinking

Its amazing how many people profess to know God and follow Him, yet their thinking patterns are just like everyone else in the world. Satan loves that. He wants you to be so absorbed with the ways of the world that you are clueless about what’s God Word says. He will do this through subtle messages in music lyrics, statements from your favorite celebrity, and words of advice from friends and family, who even believers, but are quoting things that aren’t in the Bible.

Is your everyday thinking so you’re just like the world?

Scripture commands us: Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is. ( Romans 12:2). God’s Word instructs to fix our thoughts on what is honorable and right. Think about thing that are pure and lovely and admirable.

Overcoming Hopelessness

Hopefulness is a feeling that can be far more destructive than facing defeat and failure. When we are out there trying to accomplish our goals and we fail to achieve them, as long as we have hope, and faith that we will eventually reach our goals. We have to keep pressing on. We are going to feel hopeless, that when we are in danger of giving up.

One of the reasons why we fail to achieve our goal is obstacles. We feel like we will never get what we need or want in our life. Goals are hard, when there’s a change of failure that’s when we are pursuing something it’s worthwhile. As long as we believe it’s a worthwhile goal, we will have a chance.

Hopelessness usually comes when we have defeat after defeat. After we fail so many times, it can be easy to feel there’s no point in continuing. What’s the use if we’re going to fail again? We can sit around feeling sorry for our hopeless dreams or we can stand up and say. “What should I do now?” If we don’t achieve our goals the first or the 100th time we try. If we want to achieve our goals, then our approach must be about doing it until we make it. We accomplish our goals by not giving up. But, pressing forward.

Hopelessness is just another word for giving up or surrendering. We may ask ourselves “Why bother?”

Many of the greatest successes and accomplishments in life come after the point of being easy. It easy to be hopeful when everything is going good, and we’re accomplishing our goals. It when we meet our 10th or 30th one that our hopes start to get difficult. It’s during this time we must not lose hope because we are so close.

Being hopeful means having faith. Having faith means that we know things will turn out well even if there is no evidence that it will.

Hope is easy. Anyone can feel that way. It’s the people who keep going, who will never allow themselves to lose hope, and who achieve their goals and dreams in life.

Maybe You Are Searching Among The Branches For What Only Appears In Appears In The Branches.

As we are searching fo things in life, sometimes we are only touching the surface of what we need. You search for the growth on the branches, life exists there, not knowing that the true health and state of those Branches are fed by what is invisible to the eye, it’s nourished by the roots that lay underneath.

Just like us, we may search for external happiness in a partner and material things. But the true source of happiness comes from deep inside.

I an the vine you are the Branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit, apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. (John: 15-5)

I love this verse it really explains so much. The vine is the root of a tree, and the branches are us.

After every leaf falls off the tree in your life what is left? The roots are they rotten roots or are they rotten roots or connected and flowing. Even if those ranches break and die, if the root system is healthy the a new tree will grow. Just as some trees once they are dead, a new tree will grow. Underneath the surface there is life. Look to the roots in your life. What really gives us life. What really sustains you when all else fades away.

How To Love Well

Loving and being loved well is the primary need of every human. Yet many people don’t feel loved. That’s a problem.

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give love out and to let it come in.

Morri Schwartz

There are many reasons people don’t feel loved but one is a lack of loving well. We can do things for people thinking we’re showing them love and be wrong.

What we think is a great demonstration of love may not say love to them all.

We might be trying to love them using our idea of the golden rule.

For Example: you wish someone would send flowers you flowers to show love. But then they don’t respond how you expected. They’re polite and say thank you but the joy you were trying to communicate wasn’t there. You ask yourself what’s the problem? You might feel angry if you went through a lot of trouble.

Your speaking you’re love language, but not theirs. Because we’re all different we process information differently, even our perspective of love.

Learn a new language:

To love a person you’ll need to speak their love language. There are five love landscapes.

They are:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Acts of Service
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch

When you look at this list certain people may pop into your head right away. Can you think what makes them feel love?

All of them are wonderful sometimes we don’t just pick one or two. The truth is this love language is true.

To love a person well you need to know their love language.

Words of Affirmation

Tell then you believe in them when they are nervous about something.

Remind them how amazing they are if they are down.

Encourage them to continue when something is difficult.

Acts of Service

When actions speak louder than words. The giving kind assistance and help.

Offer to help with the dishes, fold the laundry, take the garbage out, or women help them with handing tool to them when their working on the family cars.

Calling to check on someone when they live alone, or someone going through a tough time, or recovering from surgery.

Receiving Gifts

Symbols of love and affection. It’s not the cost, it’s the thought behind it. The Gift says I was thinking of you when I bought this because I love you.

  • Pick up a souvenir when you go someplace new.
  • Send some flowers or give them produce from your garden. Pick up something ridiculous just because you know they’ll get a kick out of it.

Quality Time.

Expressing affection with undivided undistracted attention. Talking and active listening speak love loudly.

  • Set aside time to spend together often.
  • Have a day for deeper conversation on the phone or in person.
  • If you are living far away
  • Use FaceTime, Skype, or zoom.

Physical Touch

  • Give then a neck or back massage
  • .
  • Sit next to them an lean on them while watching a movie or a sunset.
  • Play footsie, or tickle monster.

These are to help us, don’t get hung up on them.

Knowing how to love someone is more powerful than the best intention.

Alex Blackwell

Communicating

Communication is one of the major parts of love. Without it a love cannot hold on.

We can learn our love language and let people know what makes us feel loved also.

Your Life Won’t Change Until You Change Your Perspective

You are what you think.

If you are only thinking about your problems and sorrows. That’s exactly what you are going to attract in your life.

Change your perspective and start thinking about solutions and opportunities, you are sending vibrations to attract an abundance of them.

It isn’t until I realized this and started changing my perspective that my life changed.

Just like you are what you eat, you are what you think.

Instead of complaining about all the things you don’t have be happy for the things you have.

Yesterday my car started having problems. I took it to a mechanic and he told me I had worse problems than I thought I had. I wouldn’t have believed him, but he is a close friend.

I was a total wreck yesterday I was stressed out and caused myself a migraine. I have to depend on my car for the type of wages and helping people.

So of course I did something irrational. I got drunk. Its been probably 10 years since I had a drink. Not a wise choice on my part but, I did it and I probably won’t do it again for many years.

Yesterday my perspective was “Oh no what am I going to do now?” Well to answer my own question, I’m going to find out what all is wrong with it, (put an amount on it. And work on getting it fixed.

We all accumulate a lot off negativity in our lives. And when all that negativity fills up our life it can turn disastrous. People, relationships, personal life, Careers, routine, broken things whether it be cars and something wrong with our houses. Everything goes toxic but we tend not to do anything about it.

Say there’s a BMW on the road and behind it was a Suzuki behind it, then there was a couple on bikes and a few kids and a guy in a wheelchair trying to crossing the road. This story has 4 characters the BMW, the Suzuki, the bike a guy in a wheelchair, the couple on the bike were seduced by the want of BMW, the guy in the Suzuki was eyeing the some other car, and the guy in the wheelchair was looking at the kids. One can easily feel the want or desire in his eyes that he just wanted to walk.

In that moment, all there worries diminished. They all wanted something they didn’t have.

We always have a choice in how we view things.

Have you ever looked at unfortunate circumstances in your life and thought your going to get through this because you don’t have a choice? Easy one of us has many choices and we are exercising them everyday, every minute, and every second.

Let’s breakdown the different choices we make on a regular day:

Choice #1. You wake up at 6:00 AM so you can reach your work on time.

Choice #2. You take a vehicle or a bus, or a cab.

Choice #3. You take on extra work load to prove your competence, you already have a lot of work.

Choice #4. You help your kids with their homework despite being tired.

Choice #5. You get ready for bed at night and start thinking about your dreams when you fall asleep.

While it may not be in our hands to choose whatever happens in our life. The way we see it and react to it can make all the difference.

You can’t change the cards your dealt with, but you can change how you play them.

Randy Pausch

You have the choice to be happy or sad, complain or express gratitude, smile or frown, be productive or procrastinate, be a victim or a victim. Just remember that you always have a choice and it begins by changing the way you look at things happening in your life.

The best way to change your life is to take ownership and act.

If you want anything, act.

Nothing is going to change if you aren’t willing to change yourself. Things aren’t going to change on their own. Be confident about yourself and take a leap of faith. Be a little proactive rather than being a victim by your situation.

Your Response To Mistakes Defines You

We all make mistakes. We focus on the wrong things. We pursue goals at all costs. We teeter on ethical and moral cliffs. We get too fat down that slippery slope. We steal. We cheat. We lie. We deceive others. We deceive ourselves. We don’t open ourselves up yo our friends. We see Crime and Fraud the don’t speak out.

You can be a good person and still have poor judgment.

It can happen to anyone. We are human we make mistakes.

Just because we’ve lost our way doesn’t mean we are lost forever. In the end, it’s not the failures that define us so much, it’s how we respond.

We all get steered off off course at some point in our lives. What really counts isn’t that we make mistakes but the choices we make following those mistakes.

For example: A teen who gets in trouble with the law, can accept responsibility for his actions, change their behavior, and go on to lead a nation, or they can see only failure and tumble into a vicious cycle of committing even-larger crimes.

It’s not that you stumble it’s that you get back up. It’s not that you did wrong but realizing what’s happening and change. It’s not that you messed up, it’s that you see ways you can be better. Having the wrong priorities is bad enough, but realizing that and refusing to change is worse. It’s not that you never take the time to smell the roses and admire the sunset; it’s that once you realize this, you take the time to notice.

“Success is never final. Failure is never fatal. It’s courage that counts

John Wooden

Mistakes are bad, but not learning from them is worse. The key to learning from your mistakes is to admit them without excuses or defensiveness, rub your nose in them a little, and make the changes you need to make to grow going forward. If you can’t admit your mistakes, you won’t grow.

Forgetting your mistakes is a terrible error if your trying to improve your cognition. Why not celebrate stupidity. A

If anyone rebut me-show me I’m making a mistake or looking at things from the wrong perspective- I’ll gladly change. It’s the truth I’m after and the truth has never harmed anyone. What harms us is to persist in self-deceit and ignorance.