The Sound Of Silence

Silence is better than unnecessary drama.

Sometimes silence is the best answer, because not everyone deserves your reaction.

You don’t need to get even with a person who hurt you. You don’t need to insult those who insult you. Not all people are worthy of your attention even when it comes to the negative.

Often, the most correct way to deal with uncomfortable situations is not to react at all.

By not reacting to all the things that bother you, you show a great level of wisdom and maturity.

Your energy is way too precious to be spent on reacting to all the things that annoy you. You will only exhaust your positivity which will stop you from seeing the beauty and goodness out there.

Not all people will like you, but that’s okay. People will not always treat you the way you deserve, but that doesn’t mean that you should stoop to their level. By simply walking away you will save yourself from the trouble of trying to win the affection of someone, especially if they are undeserving of it to begin with.

A example of this is: my in-laws have different political views than my husband and I. Every election year she feels the need to tell me, I am wrong in my values and that my opinions do not matter. and how awful I am in my political views. I do not and will never discuss politics with my in-laws. This year was worse than the other years. I kept silent and let her speak until she was finished, then I chose to stay silent and walked away from her. In doing that she knew I was not going to argue with her. And she was not going to change my mind or my value system by downgrading me.

And not reacting didn’t mean that I was okay with how things were. You have the ability to stay calm and in control and say “NO” to drama because peace is crucially important to you.

You don’t need anyone to validate you. You don’t need people telling you that you aren’t good enough. You don’t need false friends or shallow relationships.

That is why by not reacting, you are in truth saying all that needs to be said.

By reacting to the provocations of others, you are giving them the green light to tramp,e all over you. So rather that trying to control other people, try to control yourself, your thought and your actions.

By choosing this path you are sending a powerful message that you will not tolerate disrespectful behavior of any kind.

It is sometimes better to reset everything, then wait for someone to change or give you closure.

Coping With Loneliness

Loneliness is an experience that means our current relationships don’t meet our needs. You don’t always have to be alone to feel lonely. Loneliness can from up whenever we feel alone, unwanted, or isolated. I was married for years and was very lonely despite him living in the same house. When he would ask me what was wrong and I answered I was lonely he never understood.

Loneliness can come up when:

  • We’re around a lot of people but don’t receive the support or connection we’re looking for.
  • We’re around a lot of people but feel like we just don’t fit in.
  • We lose an important person in our life, like a partner, family member, or close friend.
  • We’re alone and want to be with others.

Some kind of social support is important to well-being. There is no wrong or right social network- people feels satisfied with different types of social circles, friends, and relationships. What matters is how you feel. If you feel supported and understood, your relationships are likely in good shape. If you feel lonely, you may be missing pieces in your relationships.

How Can I Cope With Loneliness?

Loneliness can create more loneliness. Loneliness can make you feel like you don’t belong or fit in, which only makes it harder to reach out. This might seem to confirm that you really don’t fit in, which can make you lonelier. Loneliness can be difficult but it’s still a feeling. It can be changed. When you challenge feelings of loneliness or start to make changes in your life, the cycle of loneliness thinking starts to break down.

All my life I knew I was different than most people at times it made me feel very lonely. Once I began to embrace the fact I was different but not unlovable. Things began to change for me.

Ask Yourself Why You Feel lonely

Do you feel lonely because you don’t have other’s around you! Do you isolate yourself from other’s? Do you feel lonely even when your with others? Understanding your situation can help you take action where it matters most. This is not always easy and I usually don’t advice that people talk with a counselor but if you need to do. I prefer talking it out with the Lord my best solutions have come from Him.

Avoid comparing yourself to others

It’s so easy to look at other people and feel left out, but appearances can be deceiving. People want others to see their best side, but don’t be fooled by the message others show the outside world. Remember you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. Even on social media it’s only a controlled snapshot of what people want you to believe. Feeling like you aren’t as good as others is just that- a feeling, not the truth.

Give yourself some time, especially during big changes

It’s common to feel lonely during transitions like starting a new school, a new job, moving to a new city. Whatever your going through take sometime to settle and find your place. Loneliness may only be stop along the way.

Think about the connections you want in relationships. Are you looking for a small group of friends you can be yourself around or the support and understanding look around for groups or organizations. Use your interests and skills to your advantage join in things to meet people who already share in your interests. I volunteer at a few places during my week, so I am able to meet people who have different opinions and likes as I do.

Build confidence slowly. Give yourself manageable challenges.If you feel isolated, simply learning to feel comfortable in public places like a busy coffee shop, your by yourself but there are others around you.

Be patient and active. It takes time to build relationships. It can be a bit scary at first, try to initiate conversations or suggest opportunities to spend time with others. I am a member of a group that helps people in my community that are not able to go to the grocery store or able to fix things around their homes. My group had the opportunity to help a man find a stove so that he could cook his meals. I was very humbled when we took him this stove and he was crying and said “no one had ever done anything like this for him.”

Accept that you won’t be everyone’s friend and that’s okay.

This is not a reflection of your value or worth, it just means that you haven’t met the right group or individuals yet.

Aim for healthy relationships

If you find that you are one who isn’t heard in your relationships, building assertiveness skills can help you articulate your needs respectfully. Your partner is a equal and their needs matter also. If you make it all about you and your needs your relationship will suffer.

What is a warrior?

Being a Warrior doesn’t mean winning or even succeeding. It means risking and failing and risking again, as long as you live.

Are you a warrior? What comes to your mind when you think of that word?

Is it the battle cry of armies racing into battle for causes greater that their own lives? Is it mighty sacrifice, the greatest of all love laid on the line for the needs and lives of others? Is it the ability to overcome the odds, continue on in the face of defeat, never say die, never say quit? When your pushed into action, where is the warrior within you? What does it take to sound your battle cry?

Does it have to be the last straw that gets you going or are you marching on every day, battling the villains that would keep you from victory?

What is the mindset of the Warrior? What makes them different from the pack? What sets them in front when others fall behind and lose ground? Is being a Warrior different from being a leader?

While they make be one leader, one commander heading the argue, there can still be an army of warriors battling together, banding arm and arm, teams of them linked by loyalty and commitment to a noble cause.

I think about this concept, the word and I don’t have all the answers. But I have idea of what it is to be a Warrior. A strength. A tenacity. Indomitable Spirit. Honor. Formidable Bravery. Getting back up when others would have stayed down and quit fighting.

We all face battles in life. None of us are exempt. To wish for a charmed life without problems or battles to face is as silly as spitting into the wind. It will get you nothing but spit all over your face and nothing gained.

How you face your battles in life, how you choose to battle is the mark of a good person. Not whether you have them, but how you manage them.

So, do you face life’s battles like a warrior or do you run and hide, wishing them away?

We are living in a very dark frustrating time. Tensions are high, lines are being drawn in the sand. More and more everyday we are being asked to choose a side and decide where we stand, what we believe. Hate is remnant, and our civil rights are at the forefront of most everyone’s mind.

Yet in the midst of these dark challenges I am reminded again and again that it is how we face life’s battle that is the true test of our honor, courage and love. The hard battles and even the day to day ones, the crabby days, the headache days, the cloudy days,. The tragic days. We gather together, we hold each other up, we ask for help, we reach out to others, we hold up the ones who are in no position to do it for themselves.

Times like these inspire me, sometimes shame me, always makes me proud always humble me and help me remember my priorities. Live like warriors, With honor, patience, love, commitment and compassion for each other.

Never giving up.

We all fail. We will do it wrong. But when we fail, our goal is not to quit but to get back up quickly and battle some more. Battle better. No one said it is easy, this thing called life. But it is easier when we do it together. It’s easier still when we remember to stand tall, arm and arm and fight for the important things in life.

How Faith Helps You Cope With Stress

Having a belief in something greater that your immediate experience can be a powerful force in helping you create inner peace and cope with the stress in your life. We live in a universe that is both mystifying and at times overwhelming. We try to give meaning and purpose to our all to brief lives.

Faith is something bigger, and can help people come to grips with the unknown and perhaps unknowable. No one right away exists for finding a sense of spiritual connectedness. For many, this belief may take form of the belief of God and become to have a relationship with him.

However others may take a more global or vaguely articulate higher power. Or it may take form in community values, or nature. And belief in the human spirit.

Whatever form your faith takes you faith can be a powerful stress buffer, enhancing your ability to cope with life’s more serious stresses. Faith can help you cope with illness, and it may even help you live longer.

Faith can provide meaning and purpose.

Having a deeply felt belief system can help you cope with many of the distressing questions that surround the meaning of existence.

Faith can strengthen stress-effective values.

All Religions should promote the values of hope, faith, and love. Not condemn feelings of anger, hostility and aggression. These are human reactions that everyone has to deal with at some point in their life. We needed learn coping mechanisms in our life. A relationship with “a higher power.”

Faith can provide hope and acceptance.

It encourages a sense of optimism and hope that everything will work out for the best. Faith also helps you accept what doesn’t work out and what you cannot control.

Faith unites you with others.

It can help you create meaningful relationships with people that have the same faith and value systems as you. Having others to share with an lower your stress levels. Belong to a bible based church will put you in contact with others who are less fortunate the you which allows you to play a helping role which reduces stress.

Faith can calm you.

It involves prayer and contemplation, which like meditation and other forms of bodily relaxation can result in changes that reduce stress.

What Are The Lessons People Often Learn Too Late

  • Time passes much more quickly than we realize.
  • If you don’t take care of your body early then it won’t take care of you later. Your world becomes smaller each day as you lose mobility, continence and sight.
  • Sex and beauty made fade, but intimacy and friendship grow.
  • People are far more important than any other thing in your life. No hobby, interest, book, work is going to be as important to you as the people you spend time with as you get older.
  • Money talks. It says goodbye if you don’t plan you finances for later in life, you’ll wish you had.
  • Any seeds you planted in the past either good or bad, will begin to bear fruit and affect the quality of your life as you get older- for better or worse.
  • Jealousy is a wasted emotion. People you hate are going to succeed. People you like are going to sometimes do better than you did. Kids are going to be smarter and quicker than you are. Accept it with grace.
  • That big house you have will becomes bigger and bigger burden, even as the mortgage gets smaller. The cleaning, the maintenance, the stairs-all of it. Don’t let your possessions own you.
  • You will badly regret the things you didn’t do far more than the things you did that we wrong, that person you didn’t kiss, that trip you didn’t take, the project you kept putting off, the time you could have helped someone. If you get the chance do it. You may never get the chance again.
  • Everyday you wake up is a victory.
  • It’s never to late to become what you wanted to be or might have been if you start now.

Life Lessons

What Is The Purpose Of Life?

A few years ago my life was missing something. I could never pin point exactly what is was. I was constantly asking myself “Is this It? Isn’t there more to life than this?” I was lonely and I felt like everything I did was useless. What was the point to it all?

I was considered successful in the eyes of other people. I was married, had two beautiful children, a nice car. I felt guilty and ungrateful and was even thinking about ending my marriage and walking away from everything. Even thought so many other people would do anything to be where I was.

But, I couldn’t keep pretending that everything was okay because it wasn’t. In my heart I knew something was missing. But I didn’t know exactly what the something was. I knew I couldn’t live like I was living, I was unhappy.

I the years that followed, I learned how to create a life filled with purpose, happiness and how to make a meaningful impact in the world.

Today I’m going to share some ways to tell if you’re not living a purposeful life.

You’re not waking up excited in the morning.

If you’re not excited or at least enthusiastic in the morning- then you’re most likely not living your highest purpose. If you wake with the feeling of having to do this again today, that’s probably a sign the you’re off purpose. When you’re living on purpose, you wake up excited in the morning because a personally excited life awaits you.

For the last 40 years I have looked in the mirror and asked myself, “If today was the last day of my life, would in want to do what I’m doing?” And too often my answer is “No” So I knew I had to change something.

You have really high highs and really low lows

If you can’t seem to break feeling absolutely phenomenal for a few days and then really crappy afterwards. You’re most likely not living in alignment with the purpose of life. If you can notice a pattern of thinking how amazing life is one week, and how horrible it is the next. That’s probably a sign you’re off purpose. When you’re Living on purpose, you still have highs and lows but your happiness becomes sustainable.

I’ve always believed that a life of quality, enjoyment, and wisdom were my human birthright and would happen as time passed. I never suspected that in would have to learn how to live- that there were specific disciplines and ways of seeing the world I had to master before I awaken to a simple, happy uncomplicated life.

Your life isn’t entirely fulfilling you anymore

Despite knowing you have so much to be grateful for, deep inside there’s a feeling that there is more- them most likely you’re not connected to the meaning of life. If your doing a lot of things that society suggests are right but you still feel you’re off purpose. When you’re living on purpose your entirely fulfilled because you’re living a life engulfed in personal meaning.

Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self- gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.

Helen Keller

You’re surrounded by people who are bringing you down

If you find yourself surrounded by people who are complaining, nagging, criticizing and condemning- then you’re most likely not living the purpose of life. If you don’t have a group of people in you’re life who’s qualities you admire, that’s probably a sign that your living off purpose. When your living on purpose, you’re spending the majority of your time with people who inspire, empower and encourage you to be a better person.

You’re ignoring your dreams because you’re to scared to move on.

If you begin to fantasize about what you would do if you had more free time then you’re probably disconnected from the meaning of life. If there’s a ton of things you would rather be doing with your life, but haven’t found a way to muster up the courage to tell your family or friends your probably off purpose. When you’re living on purpose you’re spending your time with on what you love most in life. Whether your friends and family understand or agree with you or not.

If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of doing, then you’ll be unhappy for the rest of you’re life.

You’re working in a job that depletes you of energy

If the primary purpose of your job is to get a payment and there’s not much personal meaning in what you do, then your probably not living for your purpose. If you’re counting the days until the next 3-day weekend it probably a sign that you’re off purpose. When your living on purpose, you don’t just have a job but you have a calling. A job depletes your energy and a calling energizes you.

You feel stuck in the rat race, but don’t know the next step

If you’re in a state of thinking you’ll be “happier when” the next good thing happens and you’re not enjoying the journey then your probably not living a meaningful life. If your so focused on getting there that you’ve accepted being submerged in stress and anxiety as normal your living off purpose. When you live on purpose you’ve embraced that the priceless pleasure of life come from enjoying the journey on your way to a destination toward a meaningful life.

I was once a poster child for all of these mistakes, and probably more. I’ve felt the pain, but following the above signs I was able to escape it and find the purpose for my life.