Are You Ready To Stop Feeling Like A Victim

Everyone gets attacked, injured, cheated, fooled, and harmed during their life- if not physically, then emotionally. A and everyone gets harmed by unpleasant events. We’re all victims, in moments to life’s challenges and difficulties- live’s lifeness.

It’s physiologically healthy to acknowledge the suffering and feelings of powerlessness that accompany such experiences. And yet there are those people who feel like victims all the time, regardless of their circumstances. Those with a victim mentality are always being victimized at least in their own mind. They maintain a constant victim identity and see life through perpetually victim-tinted glasses.

I lived my life with this mentality for 30 years. Before I learned I was just making myself a victim and wasted a huge part of my life thinking this way.

We all know people who seem to be constantly commenting on some injustice done to them- how others are denying them what they need, want, and making them do what they don’t want to do. Or how life is against them, and the universe is designed to punish them, personally. Perhaps you yourself are someone who experiences life this way.

Neither feeling like a victim of life, or loving someone who’s convinced they’re the victim of life, is easy. Both are painful.

Break Free Fron Victim Mentality.

Take ownership and responsibility for your own wants and needs. Determine what you want and what’s important to you. Name it and do what you need to do to make it happen- for yourself. Don’t waste time blaming and getting angry at those who don’t want or need the same thing you do, don’t wait for them to come on board to help you get what you want. Get busy taking care of what’s important to you, and leave others out of it.

Practice saying ”NO” if you don’t want to do something and don’t (realistically ) have to do it, don’t do it. Remember that you are allowed to have needs, just like other people.

Stop blaming. When you hear yourself going into blaming stories, whether against other people, the world life. Whoever say STOP! to yourself out loud, and actually turn your attention away from your blaming thoughts.

Become aware of the root of your sense of powerlessness. Before you construct the next narrative on who’s stealing your power, get curious about the underlying feelings of powerlessness that proceed with all situations, you’re not actually attending to you’re suffering or helping yourself feel better. By claiming the victim role, you are intensifying your pain. With the victim identity in play, you’re not only suffering because of whatever happened, but you’ve also now added to that suffering the fact that you don’t get what others get is out to get because you’re cursed, life and everyone in it is out to get you, and basically, the universe hates you.

Turn your focus on helping others. When you’re a victim mentally, the whole world is about you and your pain. Acknowledge your suffering with kindness, and then consider how you can help another being. As counterintuitive as if may be, the more you feel deprived, you more need to give. Offering kindness is the unrest antidote to ”Poor me.”

Practice gratitude. Victim mentality focuses you on your suffering, specifically what you’re not getting. Try flipping your perspective and focusing on something that matters to you that you do enjoy and that you do get. Shift your attention from what you’re missing to what you have.

Write a list of the ways you can change the bad situation. When you feel like a victim, you convince yourself that there’s nothing you can do to change your circumstances, but that’s almost never true. Get busy with how you can try and improve the situation, even if it feels impossible.

Practice empathic listening. When listening to other people, try listening with the intention of feeling what they are saying from inside their heart. Stop focusing on what you need to do about what they’re saying, or anything else that has to do with you. Listen as if you were just ears hearing, without putting yourself in the way.

Practice forgiveness. When you play the victim role, you’re deciding to hold onto bitterness and anger and the certainty that you’ve been wronged – often without even investigating what the other’s intention may have been. Instead of poisoning your own experience with resentful thoughts, try practicing compassion and understanding for the other. Start a new habit: make dropping resentment and trying out forgiveness a daily practice.

There’s another good about living as a victim, or with a victim, but with awareness, a desire to change, and new habits, you can outgrow the mentality. A life lived with gratitude and kindness is far much better than one of resentment and bitterness. Empowerment and self-command are available to everyone and with a good attitude. And behaviors, they’re yours for the taking. The first step is to decide that you’re ready to stop being a victim.

Taking Control of Emotional Reactions as Part of Problem Solving.

We all encounter problems routinely. Some of them are caused by our own mistakes, such as sleeping through the alarm or missing a meeting. Some are caused by others, (a

Just about everything we do throughout the day involves solving some kind of problem, it’s just an unavoidable fact of life. What we can do, however, is to learn to manage our problems. This involves, in part, managing emotions that arise when a problem occurs. It also involves being aware of the effect our regions to our problems have on ourselves and others.

Our ability to regulate our emotions in problem situations greatly influences how effectively we are able to solve the problems we face. In fact, emotional regulation is frequently the determining factor in whether or not a problem is solved and how easy or difficult it is to do so. For example, when a problem occurs, many people are able to quickly figure out the size of the problem and regulate our emotional reaction to stay calm and able to deal with it. But that’snot always the case. New or even bigger problems are created when the size of your reaction is mismatched to the size of the actual problem. Who wants that?

If I had an hour to solve a problem I’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.

Albert Einstein

Einstein had a point. When a problem occurs, many of us just swoop in and start trying to solve it without fully understanding what happened. We may overreact or shut down emotionally, making us unavailable to solve the problem at all. This wastes time and energy and often results in the creation of new or bigger ones.

Defining a Social Problem May Include:

Understanding that started or hidden social rules- what’s expected in any given situation. As long as everyone follows the hidden rules and is doing what’s expected, there is no problem and everyone feels okay.

Understanding the reactions of others, especially when our behavior is unexpected.

Understanding the perspectives and emotions of others.

Conflict can arise when someone has a very different point of view or interpretation of the ”rules” in the situation. For instance, if a student who became really upset by a teacher’s perspective as he had a different point of view. While the teacher considered the student’s behavior ”unexpected” the student felt it was fully ”expected” based on his point of view. This is why when working with students with social learning challenges, it is so important to spend time first defining the actual problem from multiple people’s perspectives. That way all people recognize what the actual social-based problem is.

Are You Ready to Stop Feeling Like a Victim?

A victim according to the dictionary is a person who has been attacked, injured, robbed, killed, cheated, or fooled by someone else, r harmed by an unpleasant event.

Everyone gets attacked, injured, cheated, fooled, and harmed during their life- if not physically then emotionally. And everyone gets harmed by unpleasant events. We’re all victims, in moments, to life’s challenges and difficulties life’s licenses.

It’s physiologically healthy to acknowledge the suffering and feelings of powerlessness that accompany such experiences. And yet there are people who feel like victims all the time, regardless of their circumstances. Those with a victim mentality are always being victimized, at least in their own minds. They maintain a consistent victim identity and see life through perpetually victim-tinted glasses.

I was in this state of mind for many years. I had been a victim for a long time. It took me 30 years before learned I didn’t have to live like this anymore.

We all know people who seem to be constantly commenting on some injustice done to them-how others are denying them what they need, want, and deserve, controlling them against their will, and making them do what they don’t want to do. Or how life is against them and the universe is designed to punish them, personally. Perhaps you yourself are some who experiences life this way.

Neither feeling like a victim, or loving someone who’s convinced they’re the victim of life, is easy. Both are painful.

How to Break Free From Victim Mentality.

Take ownership and responsibility for your own needed and wants. Determine what you want and what’s important to you. Name it, and do what you need to do to make it happen- for yourself. Don’t waste time blaming or getting angry at those who don’t want or need the same things you do don’t wait for them to come on board or help you get what you want. Get busy taking care of what’s important to you, and leave others out of it.

Am I Living In Bondage?

Do you feel like every to you try to raise, but you’re above your situation, some unknown resistance renders you reproductive or devalued? You smile, but the reactions of your actions all stem from a source seemingly out of your control. You desire to change, but a default in the same ways. Some deeply embedded issue surfaces and causes you to have severe mood swings or even become enraged.

If you relate to this in any way, you hay have become your own prisoner. You’ve accepted this as your as a normal lifestyle. It is called bondage and can affect everything in your life.

Here are some books I received that helped me to realize what was happening to me when I was in bondage.

1. Ministering Freedom to the Emotionally Wounded.

2. Ministering Freedom from Demonic Oppression.

Both written by Doris Wagner.

The second book, I have to admit was a little intimidating at first. But, once I began reading I learned a lot about what was happening and how it played a huge role in my life.

Inner Healing is a process.

When we think of ”bondage”. We see pictures of battling addictions such as drugs or alcohol. Those chains are very apparent. What about someone that lives every day fighting the failure of their past? How about someone that can’t rise from. The loss of a loved one or a past abusive situation? These issues are not always evident and are often overlooked, especially when they are easily camouflaged.

Everything is permitted for me but not everything is helpful, Everything is permitted for me, but I will not be controlled by anything.

2 Corinthians 6:12

Years ago I met a lady who had been in many abusive relationships, she was molested as a child from the stepdad. In 3 abusive relationships with the last one being the worse. She was in bondage, Her husband told her how to dress what color her hair needed to be who to talk to. She couldn’t even drive. When I would take her to lunch or shopping she was on the phone wanting to know what she was eating, where she was, what he was buying. And she had a specific time he wanted her home. If she even 2 minutes late he would beat her. She was deathly afraid and he told her if she messed up, they would never find her body, She would try calling the police but they were of no help. It took me 2 years to get her to file for a restraining order and then file for divorce. She was not allowed to work, and he had control of all the money. She didn’t even realize she was in bondage until she was divorced. You say why didn’t she leave earlier? She was afraid for her life. She knew he was serious about the death threats. He Stalked her for 2 years after the divorce. This is bondage. She had to move out of state and only a few knew where she was. Today she is married again and has a great husband, who loves her dearly.

Recognizing the Problem

Do you find yourself withdrawing from the world around you? Do thoughts of your past hurts, fears, or tragedies, always raise to the surface and cause unwanted actions or reactions? Are you holding on to guilt and shame for so thing you have done? Just like a nicotine addiction, you have made promise after promise to yourself that you quit smoking, but it just doesn’t seem possible. You feel almost destined to be this way. You may have even thought that is your normal. You live in misery and sadness, hiding your true feelings and feeling that there is no way out.

These things that keep someone in bondage have become so intertwined in their daily lives that they are almost unrecognizable as a problem, becomes hard for people to see imminent danger these vices possess. Many will deny that they even have a problem, because this has been their normal life, they don’t know anything else. They proceed with their everyday life. They proceed with their everyday routine and the things that chain them continue to conquer their lives. They battle some miseries and unhappiness, shaking it off to find ways to cope. The failure to live a surrendered life keeps them from freedom provided in a happy peaceful life they can enjoy.

Simple Living In A Modern World.

Today’s world has many luxuries that are supposed to make life easier. These things can also make things complicated.

There are lots of people who dream of simple living. They picture spending days sitting by the lake and enjoying nature. This dream is often interrupted by reality, but it does n’t have to be that way. There are things we can do begin living a simple life.

When people hear ”simplify your life, ” they may think it means moving into a home in the middle of the woods and living of the land. Or winning the lottery and traveling the exotic world. But, that’s not necessarily a simpler life-and it may not be for everyone.

Instead, choose things that can keep you in the modern world, but can still make life easier.

How to Live a Simple Life

Get a basic cell phone.

It would be nice to say a cell phone was not necessary at all, but pay phones have disappeared, and if you need to call someone with data and texting opt for a basic cell phone that only makes and received calls. There are plans for less than $50 and offer free minutes to talk every month.

Cut the cable cord.

Many people are spending well in excess of $100 a month on cable television that gives them 500 channels, most people watch 15 if that.

Instead of having a cable bill, use over the air stations that you receive free. Add a streaming service and you will never miss cable. Without cable, many go back to the old reliable method of entertainment-talking to one another. Get back to the basics of life is known to reduce stress, and make you happier.

Get rid of credit cards.

Credit cards are nice. They allow people to buy things they otherwise could not afford and pay for it over time They also become a burden that drags many people down each month.

Instead of using credit cards, only buy what you can afford. Stick to that plan and the fear of not being able to pay the bills will quickly disappear.

It is a huge temptation to get a credit card, it’s so easy to fall into that trap. But, there are sometimes huge interest charges. And you don’t have to pay off the card every month and it just builds and builds. Leading to a huge debt that causes stress and unhappiness.

Declutter the home.

I am guilty of this and it is a terrifying thought that piles of stuff ends up everywhere and causes stress. I am a collector of clothing. It’s my downfall and I cannot get rid of any because I might need it one day.

A search around the home will find many things that are not needed or no longer used. Find different ways to declutter your life and get rid of things that are no longer necessary. It is even possible to make some money selling these things that can be used to help in other areas, such as paying off credit card debt.

Get rid of monthly expenses that are not needed.

Many people pay gym memberships, monthly internet service, and many other monthly services they barely use. They have put their monthly payments on their credit card so they don’t even realize how much money they are spending any not being able to use. There are often ways to get the same things that you get from these pay services without having to pay. Gym memberships can be replaced with exercising at a local park or walk8ng around the neighborhood. If you need internet service to go away from home, many places give free internet services like restaurants, grocery stores parking lots the library, and coffee shops. It might take effort at first but once it becomes a habit, it’s easy to do.

Start to track your expenses.

One thing people will benefit from doing is tracking the money they spend it is the best way to find out when you are spending money and what you Are spending it on. It is possible you will find to spend money you don’t need to. You may find that second car expense you may not need. You could take public transportation to work and get by without a second car and all its headaches. When you realize that it becomes possible to make changes

Track your time.

Pay attention to how much time you are spending doing things. Look for ways to cut down on the time you think is being wasted on unnecessary things

Time and money are two of the most valuable resources people have. When life gets simpler, thd amount of these two things that a person has available will rise. This is the benefit of a simpler life in today’s world.

The great thing about this list is that people have choices. They can choose to do one oft them , or some of them. They can start out with one and then add some others later.

Life is about. Choosing simple living is something that is becoming a popular thing to do.

The Difference Between Worldly and Godly Views.

This one subject had helped me so much in my life. I am not pushing this down anyone’s throat. I am stating since I have become closer to God. Most of my difficulties in life have lessened. I tend to be more at peace and happier. It is your choice to choose this way or not. Always remember you have a choice in your life. No matter what the situation is.

Jesus calls us to be wise and ahead as serpents, but this wisdom is very unlike the world’s wisdom. Godly wisdom is innocent, gentle, reasonable, piece-loving, impartial, and sincere. It is full of mercy and willing to yield to others. It leads to Godliness and peaceful relationships with other.

Worldly secular wisdom tends to be self-centered. It exalts ourselves. When our hearts are not submitted to God, we will harbor pride, jealousy, and selfish ambitions and use our wisdom against others. God’s Word calls such wisdom ”earthly, spiritual, demonic” Jesus pointed out the Satan fosters such thinking and gets people to focus on things from a human point of view, not God’s

We see the circumstances, God sees the Destination.

Our lives are the result of all the choices we make. It takes wisdom to ensure that our choices come together so that we end up at the narrow gate, we need to seek wisdom and guidance from God. He will show us the way.

Enter in by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and board is the way that leads to destruction, and many are those who entering by it.

Mathew 7:13

Godly wisdom could even result in us bringing many others with us to the narrow gate. Worldly Wisdom offer tend to result in destruction.

Good qualities of Godly wisdom.

You can recognize wise people in your life. They bring a sense of calm and peace wherever they go. They are not cowardly petty, or arrogant. Neither are they easily fazed by challenging situations. They are quick to go to God for wisdom.

Get wisdom get insight; do not forget and do not turn away from the words of my mouth.

Proverbs 4:5

Practicing Godly Wisdom.

We receive wisdom from God’s Spirit… The Holy Spirit communicates through our spirit and inner conscious. As we pray and quiet down to listen to Him, He will give us an ”inner knowing” and plant insights into our minds.

Begin with humility and turn towards God.

Reverence and humility before God are crucial to gaining Godly wisdom. The humble will listen, observe, accept correction, and grow wider. The proud only collect more knowledge. God calls this folly and futile.

Turn away from worldly wisdom.

The world is filled with teachings, quotes and ideologies, that sound like great wisdom, but will ultimately, lead us away from God.

Worldly wisdom will lead us to gtrafy our desires, rather than submit to God. The Bible calls us to set the mind on the spirit, so we will experience God’s life and piece. We need to put away or repent of relying on our own understanding and logic as to how things work based on the world’s teachings and renew our mind with God’s Word. This is how we will be able to follow His untimate wisdom.

Slow down, quiet out thoughts and ask God.

It takes discipline to quiet our minds and wait on God. When we fix our thoughts on Him, He will reveal the path forward. He even promises to be generous with His limitless wisdom when we ask Him with simple faith.

The temptation is always to ruminate on the “what if‘s” in life but such thinking will prove to be futile because with God, there is only one way, and that is His good and perfect will. We need to beware not to let some unspoken fear or personal insecurity drive us to “look at the possibilities in life such fears are not from God.

Test our thoughts.

Something can sound 95% right and still be wrong.

Just as the Holy Spirit will give us Godly wisdom, Satan can also give us worldly wisdom. It is important to ask the Holy Spirit to help us examine and test the direction of our thoughts so we follow His voice, instead of the enemy’s. This is one way we test spirits to see whether they are from God.

Stay away from ungodly influences.

I think this is most important if your going to stay on the right path. Their are good people in the world, good but not Godly.

Ungodly influences come from many different sources, from family traditions, the media, society, pop culture, songs, etc. Ultimately, they will fill our minds with insecurity, pride, doubt, and worldly human logic. We are to keep our thoughts clean, uncorrupted and innocent so our thoughts don’t get swayed away from God’s will.

If we feel as if we are ”tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about in our thoughts. Then we need to examine if we are being blown about by ungodly teaching or lies that sound like the truth.

If you listen to go if advice. even si, we need to be selective about who we turn to for advice Seeking wisdom from prudent God-fearing people is good but seeming God’s ultimate wisdom. Is the best. No one knows what tomorrow holds as clearly as God does, and no detail istoo significantly bring. Before God.

Know God’s Word Well.

Nothing beats studying God’s word. This is how we will be able to decipher His ways, His will, and His character. The wise know that God will never do anything that’sout of character not will He changed His word.

Make use of our wisdom for God’s glory.

The wise will choose the right time to speak up for what is right, stand up against injustice, and correct those who are heading to Hell and destruction- all because they consider others more highly than themselves and love them as God loves them.

When a moving attitude counsel, advise, and correct others. The wisdom we bring will be appreciated because it will prevent more damage. At the end of the day, when we combine wisdom with God’s grace, He is glorified and praised.