When You Feel Broken But Your Ready To Heal.

We all experience distress in all sorts of ways as sadness, anxiety, addictions, unproductive obsessions, unwanted compulsions, sabotaging behaviors, physical ailments, and angry, bleakandagitated moods.

What helps relieve distress? what helps a person to heal? While the mental health system is saying drugs and talk therapy is the answer. Setting that aside, what else helps?

Be yourself

Set boundaries, having your own beliefs and opinions, standing up for your values, wearing clothes you want to wear, eating food you want to eat, saying things you want to say. There are hundreds of ways to being you and somebody smaller false.

Invent Yourself

You come with some attributes, capabilities, and proclivity, and you are molded in a certain environment. But at some point you must say ”I want to be me, original.” who do you want to be? You reduce your emotional distress by deciding to be a calmer person. Let things slide you don’t have to have a reaction to everything that happens. Be less critical, be a more productive person, a less self-abusive person.

Love And Be Loved

Part of our nature requires solitude, alone time. But this isn’t the entire story of our nature. We can feel happier, warmer, and live better and longer. Experiencing life is more meaningful if we love and let ourselves be loved. We should do both, be ourselves and relate to others. Include others in our plans, don’t only speak listen.

Get A Grip on Your Mind

Nothing causes emotional distress that the thoughts we think. Be better at identifying the thoughts that don’t serve us disputing them and demanding they go away and bring useful thoughts to our minds. Only you can get a grip on your own mind. If you won’t do the work, you will live in distress.

Put The Past In The Past

Don’t play along with your past. It a human tendency for us to want to wallow there. You must tell yourselves to more on and mean it. Forget the past it’s over, concentrate on the present and success in the future

Flip The Anxiety Switch To Off

Rampant anxiety colors our mood, and makes hard tasks much harder. Anxiety is your bodies natural fight or flight trigger. The best way to get though anxiety is to sit somewhere you are comfortable take some deep breathes and relax and let it pass, the more you panic in an anxiety attack the more your body will act out. Deciding that you want to live more calmly. Announce to yourself that you will not longer catastrophic, that you will not longer live a fearful life, or create anxiety for yourself.

Make Meaning

We can have much more meaning in our life if we stop looking for it. It is in our power to influence meaning and even make it. When we have meaning such as volunteering in something you respect. I volunteer at a local shift store that all there profits go to helping people overcome their addiction. Sending individuals to recovery programs for free. Things that can help communities better themselves give meaning to my life. We can keep crisis at bay when we experience a meaningful life. Meaning problems produce distress in life and by learning the art of value-based meaning dramatically reduces that distress.

Let Meaning Trump your Mood

By deciding that the meaning you make is more important to you than the mood you find yourself in. Instead of saying I’m sad today try saying I have to volunteer or work today. You start each day by announcing to yourself exactly how to intend to make meaning on that day by doing chores and tasks. And consider all of that, the rich and mundane alike as the project of your life, one that you are living with grace and good spirits. Reduce distress by checking in more on your intentions and less on your mood.

Relief Or Restoration?

The difference between relief and restoration in your own life.

Most people aim for relief instead of restoration. Relief short term, it lifts the pain or the pressure for a while it’s only temporary.

Restoration, however, gets to the heart of the matter. It fixes the deep issues from which you feel the need for relief. Restoration is the permanent solution. It’s making things right. The final cure.

Relief is just easing the pain, while things are not right. Drinking alcohol makes you feel better, but sooner or later your going to have to sober up. Eating makes some people feel better but the comes a time when you’re not even about to do anything for yourself.

I’m worked as a facilitator for a mental health group. I was not aware at first what let to alcoholism or obesity or even drug addiction other that what I had experienced myself.

The people that came in group were so lost and hurting. I would begin the class by going around the table asking each person to share something about themselves. And how their last 2 weeks we’re for them.

There were a few people’s stories that really touched me.

One gentleman was in his 40’s that his father beat him every day when he was a child. Having no trust in anyone he began abusing drugs at an early age. He said it was the only way he could deal with the pain. He would take anything he could get his hands on. When he dropped out of school and left home. He went to live in a crack house with a guy from school.

He never went to the doctor. At age 40 this man had been diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder. He had severe manic episodes and hallucinations. He was trying to live by himself but would find the walls talking to him. All he had ever known was hurt and pain and was trying to get relief the best way he knew how. Sadly he had destroyed his mind trying to do so. He ended up a mental facility. I would talk to him and he would tell me he believed in God, but then he would get very angry and start yelling. Sadly rather than seeking help to undo the damage of his father’s wounding ways. He got into drugs for relief, not restoration. And it destroyed his life.

There was a young lady that came to group every week without fail. This lady used to watch my children when I was working. She weighed about 400 pounds, her father molested her and abusing her. She would eat and eat trying to hide from the pain she felt. she was trying to cope by allowing her pain. Her soul needed restoration.

Don’t underestimate me. Relief in it’s proper form in great. Everyone enjoys a massage or a glass of wine or the peace of reading a good book. The problem comes, when we allow relief to replace restoration that’s when deformity and addiction set in.

Relief is for short term issues. Tired feet, a week of hard work, a challenging few months. Restoration is for long term issues. The childhood trauma, the bad stuff that has been produced bad fruit for years. Be courageous enough to go after restoration. It will make the relief in your life all the pleasurable.

Restoration in the Bible is synonymous with healing, repairing, and returning to a previous state of being. Although we may stray from faith we are still Gods children if we choose that right path and follow him.

God promises money can be restored, property can be restored-broken down cars, relationships can be restored.

With psychiatric and psychology counselors they can teach you ways to live again and cope with unpleasant situations. With God, he can restore what has been taken from you.

Be courageous enough to go after restoration instead of just relief.

The Benefits Of Being Humble

What is hope for Humility as society celebrates over confidence, entitlement and ego.

People are increasingly competitive, attention-seeking, narcissistic, and obsessed with the lie that they are entitled to everything with working or trying.

Humility involves a willingness to accept the self’s limits and it’s place in the grand scheme of things, accompanied by low levels of self-preoccupation

Kesebir

Soothe the Soul

Humble people are better able to cope with anxiety about their mortality.

Instead of erecting self-defense against death, humble people tend to find it provides a useful perspective on life and how it should be lived.

When I was recovering from my childhood. I became defensive at everything, I wanted to physically fight for anything that upset me, and sometimes I did, I thought I was entitled to be myself as I thought I deserved everything. I didn’t care who liked me or not I needed to be respected and I thought that by fighting for that respect was the right way to do it. I was disrespectful to everyone I came in contact with but expected them to be respectful and kind to me. That is not the answer to any issue in life.

To bad, it took me over 30 years to figure that out. I would have been much farther in life than I am now. Sometimes it’s a hard lesson to learn.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Ephesians 4:2

Humble leaders are not only liked better they are also more effective.

Higher Self–Control

Having higher self-control is one key to a successful life. Surprisingly studies have found that being obsessive with yourself leads to lower self-control.

The humble because they are less focused on themselves can exhibit higher self-control in many situations. Because humble people tend to know their limits.

Less Prejudice

One of the characteristics of being humble is having a low sense of entitlement.

When you realize that the people around you are just as entitled as you are. Everyone can work together for a successful outcome.

Humble people don’t think they are owed things. If you want something you have to work for it, it’s not going to come to you.

Humility leads to a less prejudiced view of the world, encouraging people to be tolerant of others and less defensive about their own beliefs.

More Helpful

Humble people are, on average more helpful than people who are conceited or egotistical.

Have you ever let someone cut you in a shopping line when you seen they were in a hurry or they had fewer items that you? Have you ever paid it forward meaning paying for someone’s groceries when you had extra cash you could spare? Have you ever given food or money to a person to were less fortunate than you? That is being humble, it’s not about you it’s about someone else. When making someone day is more important than what you can give yourself.

It’s not all about money. You can do this by simply helping someone put their groceries in their cart or returning their cart to where it belongs. Going to help somebody because you can see they need it, not because they asked. Visiting people when you know they are alone.

Better Relationships

Humble people have better relationships because they accept other people for the way they are.

Why is Faith Important?

Sometimes, when things don’t go according to plan, we lose faith, not only in ourselves but also in the potential outcomes of our lives. Failure can do that to you, as well as feeling like you’ve been fighting a losing battle in your lives. Sometimes we get to where ”I’m done, I can’t do this anymore. When we feel like that it’s easy to lose faith and hope.

Faith, at its core, is deep-rooted in expectation of good things to come. It goes beyond hope. Hope lives in the mind while faith is in the heart and the spirit. It cannot be explained away by reason or logic, or be understood through a single dimension.

While life can be hard, faith is the knowledge, deep down inside that things will get better. It’s like you can’t see the top of the stairs but you have faith it’s there. Simply put, life would fail to have reason if faith didn’t exist.

We couldn’t drive cars without faith that someone wouldn’t cross the yellow double line and crash into us. Without faith how could we move from one moment to the next without second-guessing every last thing that we did? We all have faith even if we don’t think we do we just have to build up that faith to be stronger.

Without faith, we couldn’t expect things would turn out for us. No matter what the situation might be.

Faith is as important as the air we breathe. The importance of faith cannot be underestimated.

Even when situations seemed bleak, it was there that faith carried you through. People can move mountains with their faith. While there’s little or no explanation for it in the physical realm; it’s the meta-physical fiber that binds us all, carrying each of our deepest wishes and desires. That is where faith lives.

Tragically some people don’t believe in things they cannot see. They explain things away with other causes and effects, they don’t see the small miracles in life that existand work in our favor on a consistent basis. Faith is of huge importance in our daily lives.

Faith isn’t just a notion people have its an important element to all life on earth. Faith is what helps us get through. It lightens the path in times of darkness, it gives us the strength in times of weakness. Without having faith, we are nothing.

Your mind is a very powerful tool. It can be used for good or go to waste when we neglect or abuse it. If we focus on problems we will live in those problems and negativity. If we focus on a positive life and outcomes we can solve our problems and move from our problems to a state of success.

Faith is a pathway for abundance, so hold it at the forefront of your mind. Don’t be afraid to expect the best for yourself. You deserve it.

Have you ever heard the phrase, Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? There is truth in that phrase.

When Your Past comes calling, don’t answer it has nothing to say.

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If You Can Stay Positive In A Negative Situation You Win.

It’s what we see and how we interpret it- every adversity, every failure, and every heartache carries with it a seed for a greater benefit.

When was the last time you experienced a negative situation? Recall the situation as best you can and how you responded to it. Did you get caught up in negativity or we’re you composed? Can you see how the worry and anxiety draws you into negativity?

It’s only normal to be negative when a situation spirals out of control when we least expect it. A bunch of negative thoughts emerge and we find ourselves unable to break free from it. Our mind have an inherent negative bias. It has be a mechanism that has helped people evolve for thousands of years. However, it can become a hazard when it works against us.

Perception is everything because what you look for you will find. The power of free will means we can perceive something bad in a good situation and complain about it. Someone else will find the good in a negative situation and use it to their advantage.

What’s important is how we interpret what we see? Say someone took the last donut who was raised to leave the empty box on the table. You were raised to ask if anyone wants to split the last donut before you take off with the last on. Instead of focusing on the disappointment of the lack of junk food, try to find a positive. Since you missed the donuts today, buy the box of donuts tomorrow for work and grab the first one. Even if you have to stash it away for break time. Or treat yourself to an ice cream cone on the way home from work.

Life is Neither Fair or Unfair

We encounter many defeats in life. But you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, and what you can rise from and how you can still come out of it.

Has something ever happened to you where you were innocent and though you tried to rectify the situation it was of little help? This is when we may succumb to negativity because we have been wronged against. However, we have a choice and it may not be the easiest one to may, but it is the better choice for our peace of mind. Anger and negativity reinforce a despairing mindset because we feel transgression is perpetrated intentionally. Bad thing happens to good people sometimes. Equally, people believe life is unfair. Life is neither fair nor unfair, it beats on regardless of how much you try to change nature. We are not insignificant in the scheme of things. Rather things are bound to happen, it is not the situation that fuel our suffering but it choosing to respond that dictates whether we remain at peace or get caught up in the storm.

The question we ought to ask ourselves is: What do I need to learn from this situation? How can I evolve from what is taking place?

We can win every time when we remain positive in negative situations because life will pull us into disrepair given the chance. Everyone will tell you how difficult life can be but rarely do we hear stories of life being filled with joy and happiness. Even on social media it has become an outlet for moral outrage and injustices. But that doesn’t help anyone other than pulling us into hopelessness because we are drawn to a false sense of injustice in the world. What you read is bound to create your reality and for many social media is their only source of information. Make your source of information come from real truth. Not fiction.