There Are Two Types Of Pain In This World

The one’s that hurt you and the other that changes you.

No pain, no gain they say

Who exactly ”they” are. I have no idea. They are a very opinionated bunch, giving short, one-sentence answers to all of life’s issues. I don’t kike ”they.”

They are stupid. Life just is solved with one-liners. I’m afraid it takes a bit more thought to in-riddle lives more important problems. Nevertheless ”they” are most definitely onto something.

The things in life that we end up appreciating most are the things that we work hardest to achieve. Being difficult to achieve requires much more effort. An effort that humans have evolved to avoid exerting.

We like our comfort just as much as we like the air we breathe, and although we may believe that we need comfort we don’t just as much as we need oxygen, the truth is that we don’t.

A comfortable life is a boring life. On the other hand, an entirely uncomfortable life is a miserable one. So what do you do? Aim for the middle.

Life is best lived by surrounding yourself with comfort and then facing yourself into uncomfortable situations. Buy a nice car.

Find a beautiful husband or wife who loves you. Wear comfortable clothing. Treat yourself well and pamper yourself. Then when you’re at the top of your game challenge yourself.

Comfort is wonderful when we are in a resting state. However, remaining in a resting state isn’t living. It’s sleeping. I promise you that you’ll have more than enough time to rest once you’re dead. For now, make things a little painful for yourself.

Pain can be difficult to deal with- it’s uncomfortable. What you have to keep in mind is that there’s are really two types of pain: There’s the pain that simply hurts you and weakens you, and then there is pain that makes you stronger, makes you grow, and changes you for the better.

Your task is to learn the difference between the two.

Luckily, that’s a simple task. Just about everyone knows how to differentiate pain that will make you- physically and/or mentally-and pain that is necessary to transform you to a better, sharper version of yourself.

Each o us has a different threshold for pain. The truth is that the pain that you feel is all in your head and because it’s in your head, you can learn to adjust and bear it.

After working hours on a project, doing your, best to meet a deadline you think is impossible to meet, it can be hard to convince yourself to continue pushing forward.

You hate the fact that you have to put it together, but people are counting on you. The thought alone hurts. Just the same, changing your diet, exercising, training yourself always is a good idea. Remember your brain is a muscle it needs training in order the function correctly, if it gets lazy you can’t do the things you have and need to do.

Human beings are creatures on habit, we don’t like change. But if we don’t change then our lives won’t change. Our dreams will never be realized and well be stuck in the same mediocre life until we kick the bucket. That thought scares me, it hurts me.

It’s the most excruciating and horrifying reality that you can find yourself in- spending an entire lifetime living the wrong life. If you want to live the life of your dreams then you’re going to need to learn not only to bear pain but to embrace it.

Embracing the right kind of pain will change your life for the better. It will motivate you. Excite you. Give you a reason. To get up early every morning and run after your dreams.

It’s the pain that we need in order to live a for filling lives, without it, we are stuck in a world of ineffective comfort. To change effectively is to experience pain and push through it. It’s to accept that the pain as not only a necessity but as a tool, a force that helps you continue making progress.

Pain is your friend if you allow it to be. Introduce yourself to the things that make you feel uncomfortable and realize that those things can do you no real harm. They may make you feel bad, but at the end of the unpleasant rainbow is a pot of gold.

The next time you feel pain, say with a smile on your face, ”Good at least I know I’m going something right.”

Let Go and Move On.

Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.

You are changing. The universe around you is changing. Just because something was right for you in the past doesn’t mean it still is. This could be a relationship, a job, a home, or a habit.

It happens slowly as you grow. You discover more about who you are and what you want out of life, and then you realize there are deliberate changes you need to make yo keep up with the changes happening around you and within you.

The lifestyle you’ve been living no longer fits. The specific people and routines you’ve known forever no longer align with your values. So you cherish all the memories, but find yourself letting go and moving on.

If you’re currently dealing with this process you may feel a bit awkward and that’s okay. This feeling is normal. It’s been right there with you on more occasions than you can count.

Reasons to let go

Someone’s negativity is rubbing off on you- you are the average. Of the people, you spend the most time with. In other words, who you spend your time with has a great impact on the person you are. And the person you become. If you are around cynical and negative people all the time, you will become cynical and negative.

You have grown apart from someone -sad but true, no matter what you do or how much you explain yourself, some people will gradually evolve away from your core values as time goes on they will prove over and over again that they are committed to misunderstanding you and clashing with your needs.

You are truly unhappy with your current circumstances

It’s always better to be struggling at something you love than succeeding diligently at something you despise.

Your goals and needs have changed

What was right for you then is necessarily right for you now? Sometimes the hardest part isn’t letting go but realizing that you have changed, and then learning. To start over with your new truth.

Fear is holding you back (remember fear is an emotion) part of letting go and moving on is facing the fears and disappointments of the past that are binding your spirit.

You catch yourself living in the past

If all you do is attempt to relive something that has already happened, you’re missing out. The mental space you create by letting go of things that are already behind you gives you the ability to fill the space with something fresh and fun.

An old grudge is still hurting you Holding on to the weight of anger, resentment, and hatred will not only hold you back but also block your present blessings and opportunities. You’ve just got to drop some things to move forward.

You aren’t learning anything new

Living is learning. All positive change is the end result of learning. If you aren’t learning you’re simply dying slowly.

Holding on is like there’s only a past, letting go and moving on is knowing in your heart that there’s a bright future ahead.

Accept the truth and be thankful. To let good to be thankful for the experiences that make you laugh, made you cry, and helped you learn and grow. It’s the acceptance of everything you have, everything you once had, and the possibilities that lie ahead. It’s all about finding the strength to embrace life’s changes, to trust your intuition, to continue taking positive steps forward.

Distance yourself for a while

Sometimes you need to take several steps back in order to gain clarity on a situation. The best way to do this is to simply take a break and explore something else for a while. Why? So you can return where you started and see things with a new set of eyes. And the people there may see you differently too. Returning where you started is entirely different than never leaving.

Focus only on what can be chamged

Realize that not everything in life is meant to be modified or perfectly understood. Live, let go. Learn what you can and don’t waste energy on things you cannot change, and if you can’t change it don’t waste energy worrying about the things you can’t change Focus on something you can change. If you change something you don’t like, change the way you think about it. Review your options. And then reframe what you don’t like into starting point for achieving something better.

Claim ownership and full control of your life

No one else is responsible for you. You aren’t full control of your life so long as you claim it and own it. Through the grapevine, you may have learned that you should blame your parents, your thoughts teachers, the education system, your friends, the government… But never blame yourself. RIGHT? It’s never your fault…WRONG. It’s always your fault because if you want to change if you want to let go and move on with your life, you’re the only person who can make it happen.

Take a chance

When life sets you up for a challenge, there’s a reason for it; it’s meant to test your courage and willingness to make a change on something new. There’s no point in denying that things are different now or being fearful of the next step. The challenge will not wait even if you hesitate. Life only moves in one direction- forward. This challenge is your chance to let go of the old and make way for the new. your destiny awaits your decision.

Focus on today

Decide right now that negative experiences from your past will not predict your future. Figure out what the next positive step is no matter how small or difficult, and take it. Ultimately, the only thing you can ever really do is keep moving forward. Take that leap without hesitation, without looking back. Simply forget the past, look straight ahead and forge toward the future.

The Floor is Yours

What are you holding on to that’s holding you back? What’s the first step you need to take to let it go?

How To Cope With Bad News

Imagine: Your partner cheated on you or walked out on you. You’ve been fired. Your house has been burglarized. You’re been diagnosed with a life changing condition.

Bad news can leave us in a state of dread and despair. It seems like your whole world is falling apart, almost as if we’re being driven into the ground. We fear the very worst and cannot get it out of our mind, or gut. Often there are other emotions mangled in, like anger, guilt, despair, and love.

We all have had it, and we’re all going to get it again.

So How To Cope?

Don’t forget to breathe, it sounds funny but, sometimes when we are in a difficult situation we can actually forget to breathe. It very important to regain control over our emotions. Breathing in deeply through your nose and hold the air in for several seconds. Then gradually let the air out. Do this until you feel more relaxed.

Conntextualization

Try to frame the ad news, to put it into proper context. Think about all the good things in your life. Including those that have been and those that are yet to come. This would be a good time to go look at your latitude journal of the papers in your jar. Remind yourself of all the strengths and resources- the friends and the places you go to that you can draw on in your time of need. Go to your secret place and pray. Imagine things could be much much worse- and how they are for some people. Your house has been burglarized and you lost a few valuables. And it’s all a huge hassle, But you still have your health, your job, your partner. Bad things are bound to hit us now and again. In many cases, they are just the flip side of the good things that we enjoy. You got burglarized because you has a house and valuables. You lose a great relationship, because you had one in the first place. Many a bad thing is no more that the reversal or removal of a good one.

Negative Visualization

Now focus on the bad news itself. What’s the worse thing that can happen, and is that really all that bad? Now that you’ve dealt with the worst, what’s the best possible outcome? I knew a man that was very respectful in our little town, he had gotten a job in healthcare. He had to get his background check done he thought that was done. After working for 6 months taking care of patients. He was called to the bosses office saying there was an issue with his background check. This man was 50 years old. He couldn’t imagine what it was. His boss gave him a number to call and he couldn’t return to work. When he called the number it said his background check came back saying he couldn’t been around anywhere that medication was responded. He was in shock, worried about his reputation, and didn’t understand why.

He worked the state that he’d done the check for 3 weeks, nothing he did help. Finally he had to get 4 references from people in the community and paid to have a different background check. It was because he was pulled over (not arrested) 32 years ago. For being high. This man was a 3rd grade teacher and a pastor of a church. He had turned his life completely around. And, this one time being pulled over had haunted him. It turns out this background check he had for the healthcare facility had put his information in the computer differently that the one that had been for his teaching position. Yes bad thing happen to everyone.

Transformation

Finally, try to transform your bad news into something positive, or into something that has positive aspects. Your bad news may represent learning or strengthening experience, as act as a wake-up call, or force you to reassess your priorities.

God promises to make something Good out of every bad situation that brings devastation to your life.

Romans 8:28

If you have any other strategies for coping with bad news, please share them in to comment section so that others might benefit.

’I Am That I Am’

All that is broken shall be mended;
All that is lost shall be found;
I will bind up every wound
When that which is begun shall be ended.
Not peace I brought among you but a sword To divide the night from the day,
When I send My worlds forth in their battle-array. To die and to live, 
To give and to receive,
Saith the Lord.

Direct Your Attention To The Things That Matter.

We juggle multiple tasks at one time not getting anything done. You lose focus easily and get overwhelmed with so many things to do. Distractions seem to be everywhere and that makes it nearly impossible to accomplish anything.

But we know it, it’s the end of the day and you have not accomplished anything. It can be discouraging.

Time is a very important resource. Once it slips out of your hands, there is no way you can get it back.

We can have all the time in the world, but if our attention is on to many things, we cannot get the results we desire.

Where focus goes, energy goes.

The brain is a powerful thing that is capable of processing loads of information. It controls your behavior depending on how you shape it. It has magnified qualities that are capable of rewiring connections to strengthen new habits and weaken poor behaviors.

It has the vulnerability that can affect your performance and productivity, it very sensitive to interference or being distracted

But the good thing is we can train our brains to do what is necessary to have better results and to become more positive though a few steps.

Observe your thoughts.

Scan for 3 daily positives.

Help others.

Surround yourself with positive people.

Look after your body and mind.

Subconscious re-training and your inner healing.

It is said that the brain can have anywhere from 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day.

Our brains are not designed to create happiness as much as we wish it were so. Our brains we’re evolved to promote survival. It saves the chemicals for opportunities to meet a survival need, and only releases them in short spurts and are quickly metabolized. This motivates us to keep taking steps that stimulate our happy chemicals.

When our brains go negative it can eat away at our productivity, creativity, and decision-making skills.

We have to work to change our brains negatively. We have to constantly bring positive thoughts or actions to our life.

Look for the good, and leave out the bad.

I read something positive every day. I pray daily, I put myself with positive people every day.

A great idea is to get yourself a jar or a bowl and every day write the positive things that happened to you during that day. Then when you’re having a difficult day, go back the read the positive things that has been happening.

We tend to focus more on negative things than positive things. This will teach you to look for the positive things happening in your day.

I still do this practice during Thanksgiving and Christmas. The holidays can be stressful. I feel like I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

It makes for a great time to do with family or friends. I used to do this will a depression support group I was facilitating. We would have a party and everyone would share what they had written and put in their jar the last 2 weeks. It’s a diffanant morale lifter.

Fear is an Emotion

False Evidence Appearing Real.

Fear is an emotion, and as such, is not a physical thing. Therefore, fear is not real. Rather, it is just an illusion that is created by your mind.

These imagined scenarios of the perceived threat and up feeding your fear to the point where it becomes all-consuming. Here’s the kicker: often these scenarios never happen.

How To Overcome Fear And Realize Your Potential

Overcoming fear may sound easier said than done. When you are in the face of fear, it’s hard to see a way out. The goodness is that because you are the root cause of your fears, that means that you are also the solution to them. However, none of this will be possible if you aren’t ready to face your fears.

Identify Your Fears Through Writing

There are times I have felt afraid but didn’t even know why. If you keep your fears inside, you allow your mind to control how you feel. We all know how that turns out! In order to prevent this confusion from happening in the first place, the first step is to identify what your fears are.

What Makes You Feel Afraid?

Instead of thinking about these things, write them down. When you write down your fears on paper and actually question them, it forces you to analyze why you are afraid. Questions are designed to trigger your fears and bring them to the surface. Is this going to be a comfortable process? Probably not.

Deep inner work never is! However, if you continue to keep your feelings in the dark, the scarier they will be, and the more disempowered you will become.

Have you ever been afraid of something and in the end everything turned out good?

Here’s an example:

I lived with the fear of my mother knowing that I was talking about what she did to me growing up. I was so fearful I kept everything locked up inside me. It wasn’t until I decided to tell the counselors what had happened to me as a child that I began healing. I was expecting them to tell me I was wrong or weak because I couldn’t deal with what happened to me. On the contrary, they were shocked I had gone through what I had and hadn’t been hateful to everyone around me, which sometimes I was, or ended up commenting suicide. After many therapy sessions that I began to realize it wasn’t my fault it was my mothers.

Once you identify the experience that you associate with your fears, you become armed with the power to take action to change them. Eventually, your fears become smaller and smaller, and your strength, bigger and bigger.

Practice Gratitude

From Personal experience, I have learned that you cannot experience fear and gratitude at the same time. They are literally on opposite ends of the f the continuum of the human experience.

When you are experiencing difficult times in life, it’s easy to drop into fear. Everything feels overwhelming. In that energetic space, it can be hard to stay grounded.

Get yourself grounded and you can navigate even the stormiest roads in peace.

Bright drops.

I do a lot of reading, meditating, and praying to stay grounded as I can in this crazy world.

Developing a gratitude practice allows you to not drown in fear. It doesn’t mean that you still don’t feel it, but the blow will be lessened, thereby allowing you to see the brighter side of struggle.

When gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. This is positive psychology. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.

Anyone who experiences fear knows that there is almost always a story attached to whatever it is that you’re fearful of. Regardless of what that story is, the running theme is ”I can’t do something.” Fear loves to hang out with your inner circle and come up with worst-case scenarios about what could happen.

Gratitude helps keep these limiting stories at bay. When you practice gratitude, your brain shifts to what is currently working instead of what isn’t working.

The act of being fearful is a future-oriented process, while gratitude is a present-oriented one. The next time fear tries to creep its way into your head, replace that disempowering thought with a empowering one. It sounds easier said than done, but it works.

Release Control

Are you a control freak? If so your not alone. This is how a lot of people manage their fears, or so they think.

I used to think if I could control everything I wouldn’t be so fearful of what happened. Because knew how things would end. That is not the case.

In actuality, all that happens to people is their masking they’re fears by trying to control everything. If you can relate, it’s time to release control. Trust me when I sag that is a losing battle.

Fear results in controlling behavior and when this behavior does t give us results we’re seeking it further intensifies our fears.

If you attempt to control fear, you actually become a victim of it. This fear and control cycle leaves a .ot of people feeling defeated. The reality is that there will always be things that are beyond your control. That’s just how life works.

The only thing that you have control over is your inner world and how you choose to respond to your external environment. The next time that you catch yourself trying to control everything, step back and ask yourself what are you afraid of.

Start to get serious about what thoughts are he generating your fear. Curiosity and fear cannot co-exist. Once you let go of one, you invite the other in. True freedom comes from fully releasing control. When you are able to do this, you being the process of releasing your fears as well.

Ask yourself if you have any control over the situation at hand, can you change the situation? No, then don’t try it will only stress you and cause more fear. Yes, then do something about the situation push through the fear and make the change.

I love this verse. It explains everything.

What then shall we say in response to these things? If God is for me, who can be against me. The Lord is with me like a fearsome warrior.

Romans 8: 31

Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You

Living in the comfort zone will get you nowhere in life. In my experience, not doing the thing’s that scare you will only increase the likelihood that your fears will grow and inevitably, take over every decision that you make in life.

Is it really better to get out of your comfort zone? The answer is always yes.

I want to encourage you to do one thing every day that scares you. It can be something small. All that matters is that you take action. Make it a habit to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Nobody likes to do this, but if you want to achieve success, you’ve got to be willing to try.

Putting yourself in new and uncomfortable situations triggers a unique part of your brain that releases dopamine, nature’s happy chemical. It’s the only way you can grow stronger and start healing from anything in life.

When you condition yourself to do something every day that scares you, your fear fades away and your courage grows. Think about it…when you face your fears, how can you fear them again? Soon enough, your confidence will skyrocket.

Final Thoughts

The next time that you feel threatened by fear, I encourage you to pull upon one or more of the above strategies. Change your relationship with fear. Instead of letting it knock you down, use it as motivation to grow and achieve more.

Once you realize that fear is not real, the obstacles that appear to stand in your way will be removed, and you will feel empowered to take action.

Fear has two meanings- forget everything and run or face everything and rise. The House is yours. The face of the matter is that there is nothing of nobody standing in your way of greatness.

Your potential in life is limited by only one factor- you. Are you ready to change fear into action?