Breathe Before You Speak

This strategy has a remarkable result for everyone. Yet it’s seldom thought about.

With almost immediate results it includes increased patience, added perspective, and the added benefit of gratitude and respect for others.

The strategy is simple. It involves nothing more than pausing-breathing after the person finishes speaking. At first, the time between your voices may seem like an eternity but the reality is only a matter of a second of actual time. We can get used to the power of breathing and learn to appreciate it as well. All it takes is intention and practice.

If you observe the conversations around you, you’ll notice that when we wait for a chance to speak. We’re really listening to the other person but waiting for an opening to express our point of view.

I do this all the time, for me, it brings the thought that people don’t care about you. Or what you have to say.

It seems like we are spurring back and forth like fighters rather than enjoying or learning from the conversation. Sometimes with our poor listening skills, it’s a miracle that we have any friends at all.

I spent most of my life waiting for my turn to speak. I have felt like people have no respect for me or care what I have to say. Or people think I’m stupid. Of course, these are just feelings.

Think Of What You Have Instead Of What You Want

Most people focus on what they want instead of what they have. It doesn’t make any difference how much we have, we just keep expanding our list of wants. Which guarantees we will remain dissatisfied. The mindset that says “I’ll be happy when this desire is fulfilled” is the same mindset that will repeat itself once that desire is met.

I have a family member who found a house to buy, he said it was the perfect house, when he and his family started moving in he was saying he wanted something even bigger. He isn’t alone many people want the same thing. They want this and that. If they don’t get it they keep thinking about all they don’t have- they remain dissatisfied.

If we do get what the we want, we simply re-create the sam thinking in our new circumstances. So despite getting what we want, we still remain unhappy. Happiness can’t be found when we are yearning for what we can’t have.

When we can change the emphasis of our thinking from what we want to what we have. Rather than wishing our partner was different, try thinking about their wonderful qualities. Instead of complaining about your salary, be grateful that you have a job. Rather than wishing you were able to go on a vacation to the ocean, think of how much fun you have had close to home. Each time you notice yourself falling into the “I wish life were different” trap, back of and start over. Take a breath and remember all you have to be thankful for.

When you focus not on what you want but on what you have, you end up getting more of what you want. If you focus on the good qualities your partner has, they will be more loving. If you stop complaining about your job and focus on the good things about your job you’ll do better at your job and probably end up getting a raise.

Make a note to yourself to start thinking more about what you have than what you want. If you do, your life will start appearing much better than before. Perhaps the first time in your life, you’ll know what it means to feel satisfied.

Finding Your True Self

To thine own self be true in other words don’t try to be someone else. Be yourself. But, who am I and how do I discover my true self? Is my true self who I think I am? Or is it what others say? Which of the many voices that seek to define me are accurate?

In the book of Jeremiah he Wrote God’s words. The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? I the Lord searches the heart and examine the mind to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve. Here God highlights what we need help in defining ourself because we are given to inaccuracies. He offers Himself as the One who accurately reads our hearts.

We are a Made for Connection with God.

We are born with a body, soul and spirit, and our spirit longs for connection with God.

We are all raised in a particular context, that of our family of origin or household, each of us has a back story that continues to influence us today.

The journey toward awakening begins with God and His initiative to reveal, Himself to us. What is true about God can begin to beauty and wonder in the physical world. The knowledge of God’s majesty, power and existence is innate to us.

We have a inborn morality that points to God. He stirs or awakens a spiritual thirst or hunger to know him.

In the physical world many tend to search for something (anything) that will fill us. We can go on and on trying to fill that hole we feel inside. I searched for years for something that would feel the void I felt inside. Until I found God or He found me. I am completely full now. I search no more.

Dissatisfaction and desperation find us living life on our own terms. When we come acknowledge our need for God. Our desperation for peace and friendship with Him provides life, forgiveness and meaning in Jesus. Once we connect with God, then His description, interpretations and understandings become definitive for us. I know myself truly as I know God and live with Him.

Christian Counseling can be a valuable asset to self-discovery. A Christian counselor can help to pose key questions, reframe conclusions and offer different ideas. They can provide a setting in which you experience a different way of relating and work through your process with support.

I have had the opportunity to see a Christian counselor and it changed my entire perspective on life. It was a great blessing.

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See The Innocence

For many people one of the most frustrating aspects of life is not being to understand other people’s behavior. We see them as guilty instead of innocent. It’s tempting to focus on people’s irrational behavior, comments, actions, selfish behavior, and mean-spirited acts and get extremely frustrated. It is easy to focus on that behavior too much and it may seem like other people are just doing it to make us miserable.

It’s true other people do weird things (who doesn’t), but when you think about it we are the ones getting upset, so we are the ones who need to change. It’s not about accepting, ignoring, or advocating violence or any other deviant behavior. I’m talking about being less bothered by the actions of people

Seeing the innocence is a powerful tool for seeing a complete change that means when someone is acting in a way that we don’t like, the best strategy for dealing with that person is to distance yourself from their behavior.

This strategy works for people judging you, you don’t have to stand there and listen to them just walk away, refuse to listen to them, they don’t know your story, they don’t know what you’ve been through. So look beyond it.

Very often a slight shift in our thinking can put you thinking into a estate of compassion. Ask yourself why are they acting this way, what’s their story?

I have had people pressure me into doing things I don’t feel comfortable in doing. If I had focused on the words they use, the tone of their voices and the urgency of their messages. I would have gotten annoyed, even angry in my responses. I would have seen them as guilty. Underneath even the most annoying behavior is a frustrated person who is crying out for compassion.

Next time you are dealing with a person that acts in a strange way look for the innocence in their behavior. If your compassionate it won’t be hard to see. When you see the person in a better light you won’t be as frustrated by their actions.

Look for the good in people instead of the bad. It will be easier to focus on the beauty of life.

Living A Simple Life

It’s easy for us to spread joy and happiness when our lives has less clutter, less important things and a lot less complications. Even in a world full of distractions and many things to catch our attention, it’s possible to live a focused, simple life.

If you want to live a simple life. Here are some tips.

Focus on God’s purposes

Having a life without purpose is like driving a car without a steering wheel it’s going nowhere. Having the wrong purposes in life, is like driving a car with a steering wheel, but no sense of direction it’s bound to go to the wrong places.

The right purpose for living can only be found in God, who has given life to everything that is living. Since He’s the one who gave us life, He knows the best purpose for it. Which is to our benefit.

Jesus said in Matthew 22: 37-40 to love the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is you shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang the Law.

Be Content With You Lot

In order for us to live a life focused on God’s purpose, it will help to be content with our lot of life, and be content with what God gives us. God gives us what we need for what he wants us to do.

In Philippians 4: 11-13 Paul says: I know what it is like to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.

Paul also encourages us to make it our goal to live quiet lives, minding our own business, working with our own hands, and not meddling in others’ affairs.

In today’s world Americans have become spoiled. In other countries people make $710 dollars a month. Could any American live off that a month? God takes very good care of us. We are blessed everyday. Most people ignore this fact.

See Yourself As God Sees You

How do you see yourself right now?

Spend a few minutes and think about it. What thoughts do you have about yourself today.

Many people find themselves basing our self-worth on how others see us and our accomplishments, feel shame from our past, defining value based on looks, or setting unrealistic standards for ourselves.

I lived this way from when I was a child to just a few years ago. I had no self-worth. If people brought me down I thought I deserved it. Because I was a horrible person and no one wanted to be around me.

But then I realized it didn’t have to be this way. Other’s opinions of me didn’t matter I knew who I was on the inside.

If we only could see ourselves as God sees us!

I want to bring some thought patterns that act as roadblocks to thinking-and living the way God desires.

In 1- Peter 1: 15 tells us about how we can prepare our minds for action. Adjusting our thinking to scripture is the foundation of being holy in all we do.

I must be loved or approved by every other person in my life. Wrong. If we are living to make sure the others love us, we give them permission to evaluate us based on when we do-we give people the power to determine our self-worth.

When we leave home, many of us have internalized parents who are now voices in our heads that tell us what to do. Have you ever been in. Situation where you hear your parents saying, You shouldn’t do that, or I told you what would happen.

But what if your parents have told you that you will never amount to anything or don’t even try. It can go either way.

Many are so concerned about being loved that we give the opposite sex or a person we think highly of the right to evaluate our self-worth. Or, we might sacrifice our own identity to get attention and acceptance even to the extent of pretending we are someone else because we think the opposite sex won’t be impressed with the real you.

Some might deny themselves food to lose weight to try to fit in with the body images portrayed in magazines.

We may even feel pressure from our church community to measure ourselves to certain stereotypes. If we live to please our church community, we may find ourselves negating the interests or gifts that God has given to us.

Our identity is found in Jesus Christ. It is rooted in his freedom-giving mercy. Our identity is that of a child of God and a joint heir with Jesus Christ. Our spiritual inheritance is one of forgiveness, a intimate relationship with Jesus, and hope of spending all eternity enjoying fellowship with God.

These truths assure us of God’s unconditional love, and of the intimacy, security, and hope we find in him. None of this is based on what we do. It is grounded in what God has already accomplished through Christ.

In 1 Peter 1 3-4 says Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Christ Jesus. In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection that can never perish, spoil or fade- kept in heaven for you.

My past history is an important determiner of my present behavior because something once strongly affected my life, it should definitely continue to do so.

Do you feel controlled by a secret? You may have something happen to you that you have revealed to no-one, or you feel shame about certain aspects of the family you grew up in, or maybe you have sinful habits your embarrassed about, such as gossip, lust, pornography, or a critical spirit. Maybe you’re ashamed of something that has been to you.

If you don’t deal, with issues in your past, they will continue to control you. But they don’t have to. You can deal with your pass sin, family histories, as well as past violations to you body and minds.

Conviction always separates from our identity from our own behavior. Shane links these two. Wrong behavior taints our image of ourselves. Good conviction alerts us to the fact that we have done something that goes about internalized values.

Bible conviction is a God given emotion that “red flags” a behavior and tells us it is a rebellion against God. It gives us an “unctions” to confess our sin and experience the love and forgiveness that God has provided for us from Jesus.

1 John: 1-9 tells us if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Any feelings of guilt that come after we’ve confessed our sin are not from God, but may be from our or from satan. We all have to live with the consequences of our sin, but God does not punish us for sin. God disciplines us to get us back on the track so we can continue to experience God’s love and plan for our lives.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you

Jeremiah 29: 11

God word says in John 16:33. Here on earth you will have many trials and tribulations, but take heart; I have overcome the world.

These trials and tribulations are to help us grow, to refine us and make us stronger. God tests us and refines us like silver.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Your workmanship is marvelous. This is how God sees us.

You Are Not What You Think You Are

Your mind is powerful: controlling almost everything. It impacts, your health, from sickness to wellness, your mood and the ways your life is going making you a success or a failure.

Try forming a picture in your mind of what you would like to be like then keep a hold of that picture. Every day work on yourself to be a better still having that picture of who you want to be.

Perhaps the most important mental and spiritual principle ever discovered is that what you is going on outside of you reflects what is going on inside of you.

People can sense how to feel on the inside is who you are on the outside.

Jesus wrote what comes out of mouth proceeds from the heart. Matthew 15.

You can tell the inner condition of a person by lookin at the outer conditions in his or her life.

Your mind is powerful. Your though control and determine almost everything that happens to you. It can raise or lower your heart rate, improve or interfere with your digestion, change the chemical composition of your blood, help you to sleep or keep you awake at night.

Your thoughts can make you happy or sad, sometimes in an instant. They can make you alert and aware, or distracted and depressed. They can make you popular or unpopular, confident or insecure, positive or negative. Your thoughts can make you feel powerful or powerless, a victim or a victor, a hero or a coward.

When we are children we have no self-concept. Every idea, opinion, feeling, attitude, or value you have asan adult you learned from childhood. Everything you are today is the result of an idea or impression you took in and accepted as true. When you believe something is true for you, it becomes true for you.

Whatever it may be. You are not what you think you are.

The way I grew up. I was told some pretty messed up things that I accepted as true. It is possible to change with hard work and determination.

Change your thoughts-change your life.