From Pity to Praise

Adversity is a crazy thing. It comes in many forms, and at some point in your life- you will have to find ways to overcome it.

Think of the last time the odds were against you. Maybe you were considered a underdog in a event, or you were told that your goals in life are unrealistic.

Whatever the case may be, the only thing that important is how you overcome these problems.

Some people thrive on adversity and use it to fuel success, or there are those who can’t carry their own weight and let it bring them down. I was one who couldn’t carry my own weight I was so broken, I didn’t care about anyone or anything. I had nothing to prove. I only wanted to sleep and eat. Now facing adversity and being underestimated is one of best ways to reach success.

There’s comes a point when you don’t care like you have to prove yourself to anyone.

If someone underestimates you that is the best time to shine. Prove them wrong do it. If they say something like “you can’t even go anywhere alone. Doing things alone is sometimes a great experience. Go to another town or state. You get to go to places where you want to go. Tell people hello even if you don’t feel like it, test your waters, and see how it feels. I throughly love going places alone and letting myself go there is no pressure on you to act the way other people thinks you should. Eat where you want to eat, choose a hotel that you want to stay in, no one puts a timer on you stay as long as you want to pressure. To me that’s the best retreat to just relax and let go.

One of the best opportunities you can be given in life os to be underestimated.

When you think about this quote and tie it together with your own experiences, I think you will find it to be true.

Think about a time when you were underestimated, and try to remember how you took advantage of that opportunity.

Inspire yourself to be the best of what you can be, show it’s possible to be successful no matter what happens to you-good or bad.

Sometimes life is going to hit you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.

When I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Bladder Cancer. I had a tumor the size of a grapefruit in my bladder. After my surgery the Doctor told me I had about a year to live. I was devastated. My Husband and Son quit smoking, my father quit smoking when he was 72 because of me. I had never smoked a day in my life. The cancer I had the doctors told me was caused by second hand smoke. My family was trying to protect me. I had my entire church praying for me. I had to have Chemo Spray put up inside me every week for about 8 months. During this timeI decided I was not going to let this evil disease take my life. I needed a miracle and fast. After telling myself and everyone I came in contact with I was being healed in Jesus Name. The Doctor would just tell me I was in remission, I told him no I was healed. After a few scopes there was no cancer I was healed. That was 9 years ago. No one can tell me that I’m crazy or there are no such thing as miracles. I lived it I know.

That’s my “don’t underestimate me” story.

Remember that you are going to die, in the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have to have something to lose.

Listen, being underestimated can be a great thing for you. Having doubts thrown at you and your ideals questioned are all good things.

But, there’s so much more to it. Thriving off of pure negativity is bad for you and what you set out to do.

If we face more negative reactions than positive, you may want to sit back and think about what you are doing. As powerful as negativity can be to help you, it only goes so far until it starts hurting you.

It’s important to never forget to have supportive relationships with others. The people you surround yourself with are the ones who will make of break you as a person.

When I had cancer, I’d look in the mirror everyday and ask myself “if today was my last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And when the answer was No for too many days in a row. I knew I needed to change something.

If you cannot get yourself motivated then how can you expect someone else to?

Living with less stuff, stress and busyness is important for a healthy happy life, but there are other things we can benefit from eliminating too.

Let’s stop apologizing for things we don’t need to be sorry for.

It’s exhausting and a quiet reminder that we aren’t good enough. Our heart shows up the way, but when we are apologetic. Our heart hears shhh.

Pay attention to how many times you say sorry in a day. A heart felt “I’m sorry” is powerful. A meaningful apology can repair a relationship or turn us around when we are going in a wrong direction. Let’s not waste it on things we shouldn’t be sorry for.

Let’s stop apologizing for:

Staying home.

We apologize by making up elaborate excuses for turning down an invitation. “No thank you, I hope you have a lovely time,” is sufficient.

How we are dressed.

When we think we don’t fit in, we apologize for being underdressed,or mismatched. Except for rare occasions, no one really notices what you are wearing. We can stop apologizing for what we wear.

Saying No.

If you spend your free time catching up and doing all the things you don’t have time to do, you don’t have free time. If you want free time- real free time m or if you crave 8 whole hours of sleep, a proper lunch break, or at least 24 hours away from you e-mails, or social media you are going to have to say no without an apology. A lot. This will help.

Thinking different.

Being curious and considering new ideas and ways to create. Thrive, love and live is a blessing. When people reject that and make you feel like apologizing, remember that’s not about you. They may feel threatened and afraid that if you change you may think differently about them. Be gentle and inspiring instead of apologetic.

For being yourself

Don’t apologize for being who you are ever. No excuses, you are who you are. No-one can change that. Be proud of who you are.

For changing our minds.

Sticking to it for the sake of sticking to it serves no one. Things can change outside and inside. When we hold on so we can be right or because we are afraid to change course, we compromise the opportunity to learn and grow.

Putting our health first.

Going to bed early, saying no to food that doesn’t agree with us or working out instead of meeting for coffee is nothing to apologize for. When you put your health first, you can serve and connect from a place you just can’t access when you are run down, sick or tired. Good health is nothing to apologize for.

Taking longer that 3 seconds to respond to a text or email.

How many texts or emails start with I’m sorry for taking so long to get back to you. Even though it’s been less than a day.

We can be kind and loving without apologizing. Our hearts deserve that much.

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Most people are about as happy as the make up their minds to be. Abraham Lincoln

Is happiness a choice? Yes! Many happy people realize happiness is a choice and it’s up th them to intentionally choose it every single day.

Happy people are not held hostage by their circumstances and they do not seek happiness in people or possessions.

They understand that when we stop chasing the world’s definition of happiness, we begin to see the decision to experience happiness has been right in front of us all along.

But simply knowing that happiness is a choice is not enough. Fully experiencing it still requires a conscious decision to choose happiness each day. How then might each of us begin to experience this Joy?

Count your Blessings. Happy people choose to focus on the positive aspects of life rather than the negative. They set their minds specUtica reasons to be grateful. They express it when possible. And very quietly discover there is always, something to be grateful for.

Carry a Smile. A smile is a wonderful beautified. But more than that making an emotion-filled face carries influence over the feelings processed by the brain in the same way our brains influence our face. You can actually program yourself to experience happiness by Choosing to smile. Not to mention, all the pretty smiles you’ll receive in return for flashing yours is also to increase your happiness.

Use “I am Affirmations” I am loved, I am blessed, I am a Gift to the World, okay I’ll stop being silly No one is a gift to the world, but you are somebody’s gift in this world. Tell yourself positive things and you can start to living in a positive mindset.

Wake up on your terms

Hold back a complaint. The next time you want to lash out in verbal complaint toward a person, a situation, or yourself don’t. Instead, humbly keep it to yourself. You’ll likely diffuse an a unhealthy, unhappy environment. But more than that, you’ll experience joy by choosing peace in a difficult situation.

Practice one life-improving discipline. There is happiness and full end to be found in personal growth. To know that you have intentionally devoted time and energy to personal improvement is one of the most satisfying feelings you’ll ever experience. Embrace and practice at least one act of self-discipline each day. This could be exercised, budgeting, or guided learning.., what ever your life needs today to continue growing. Find it. Practice it, Celebrate it.

Use your strengths. Each of us have natural talents, strengths, and abilities. And when we use them effectively, we feeling alive and comfortable in our skin. They help us find joy in our being and happiness is our design. So embrace your strengths and choose to operate within your giftedness each day. If you need to find this outlet outside your employment, by all means, find this outlet.

Accomplish one important task. Because happy people choose happiness, they take control over their lives. They don’t make decisions based on a need to pursue joy. Instead , they operate out of the satisfaction they have already chose. They realize there are demand on their time, helpful pursuits to accomplish, and important contributions to make to the world around them. Choose one important task that you can accomplish each day. And find joy in your contribution.

Eat a healthy meal/snack. We are spiritual, emotional, and mental beings. We are also physical bodies. Out lives cannot be wholly separated into its parts. As a result, one aspect always influences the others. For example, our physical bodies will always have impact over our spiritual and emotional well-being. Caring for our physical well-being can have significant benefit for our emotional standing.

Treat others well. Everyone wants to be treated kindly. But more than that deep down, we also want to treat others with the same respect that we would like given to us. Treat everyone you meet with kindness, patience, and grace. The Golden Rule is a powerful standard. It benefits the receiver. But also brings growing satisfaction in yourself as you seek to treat others as you would like to be treated.

Search for benefit in your pain. This life can be difficult. Nobody escapes with out pain. At some point-in some way- we all encounter it. When you remind yourself again that the trials may be difficult, but they will pass. And search to find meaning in the pain. Choose to look for benefits that can be found in your trial. At the very least, perseverance in being built. And most likely, an ability to comfort others in their pain is also being developed.

You’re so depressed you can’t get out of bed. You’re so anxious you can’t stop moving. Maybe both. That latest medication or treatment seems to be helping. Or you’re thinking nothing’s ever going to work. Regardless, simply getting through the day is a Challenge. I’ve been there.

Here are some things I’ve tried that might help you:

If you had a broken leg you wouldn’t think. “I shouldn’t have a broken leg.” But if you’re depressed , it easy to think, “I shouldn’t have be depressed,” or “I should calm down.” In our culture, we pride ourselves on pushing through things. When your depressed, however, “beating yourself up” only increases your sense of helplessness. It’s okay if you aren’t as much fun to be around. It’s okay if you’re not as productive as usual. You don’t have a broken leg- you have a broken heart. And it takes time to heal.

Take small steps,p. Lying in bed wishing you could just pull the covers over your head and go back to sleep? It’s okay to keep lying there. Maybe do one small thing that might make you feel better. Like smile for 10 seconds. Or stretch a little. I know you don’t feel like smiling or stretching. But give it a shot. Maybe you manage to get up but don’t feel like doing anything. Make some tea or coffee, go to a comfortable chair and look out the window. Sit outside if the weather’s nice. In the winter you can zip yourself into a sleeping bag or cover yourself with blankets. I was so manic I had to get out of bed (often at 4 or 5 a.m.) I cannot sit and meditate even though I’d done it for years. I was, however, able to take a few deep breaths once in awhile. That was the best I could do, so that’s what I did.

Take a hike. It is exercise that’s important for mental health. It’s an accomplishment that makes you feel better. There’s no need to do some heavy-duty work out. If you feel like hiking, walk. If you don’t feel like walking stroll, just move your body a bit every day.

Even though I walked a lot, I still felt trapped inside my own head. So I’d try to feel my feet on the ground- just a few seconds. Or look at something outside my brain- a tree, a flower, the sky. Taking a little hike or walk someplace you’ve never been before can help pull you out of yourself a bit. Ok admit sometimes I hugged a tree. I felt really silly doing it, but I could actually feel some of my anxiety dissolve into some of the tree. Don’t knock it until you give it a try.

Get a massage. Whether you’re depressed or anxious, massage is one of the best always to be kind to yourself. So are other “hand on” treatments. Scheduling a massage give to something to look forward to once in a awhile. I don’t do this as much as I should, but even if a family member or partner does this it calms you down being completely relaxed. The don’t have to have any special skills. My only advise to you is that deep massage techniques like shiatsu or Rolfing can bring up emotional stuff. So it would be best if the person doing has experience massaging clients with depression and mania.

When you’re depressed being asked to think positively can be like asking someone who’s color-blind to see red. But you can pretend to think positively. Again just a few seconds, or a minute. Say to yourself, or out load, “I feel fabulous, I feel fabulous.” Think of it like a prayer or the way children m”make believe “ in order to have different experiences.

Write or draw. Describing you experience can give you a little distance from it. For example, I used to write letters to my mother asking her why she did the things to me she did, or a venting letter on how she made me feel and how she messed up my life. It would clear my mind of all the thoughts rolling around in my head. I would tear them up afterwards. Drawing can also help get thing’s unstuck. You don’t have to be an artist. Scribbling is just as effective. Use lots of colors.

Talk to friends. This is a bit tricky. Because most friends want you to feel better so, badly, they often make suggestions that make you feel inadequate. It’s okay to ask a friend just to listen. Just listen. To only make suggestions if you ask them for it. It’s also ok not to talk. Marilyn Monroe, said “ it’s often just enough to be with someone. I don’t need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You’re not alone.”

Cry and scream. Crying is not a sign of weakness. It’s a way to let go. I wouldn’t over do it in front of the kids or at work, but when you can find a safe place to just let it go…let it go.