From Pity to Praise

Price River by Helper Utah Parkway.

Where do you go when you have hit rock bottom.

I had finally hit rock bottom emotionally, financially, mentally, and spiritually. The crash was so painful in every way, but I finally had no choice but to face myself brutally, painfully, and honestly.

As I looked back the first thing I said to myself was what the heck did I do to my life, everything I had once planned for was gone all I had was thus useless life.

I also had immense gratitude for the gifts that time bestowed upon me. First of all I had tried to kill myself numerous times. How lucky I was to even be alive. It instilled in me a deep trust in the universe contrary to my appearances ad bank account.

It’s crazy to say this but I would do it all over again for the incredible strength and growth I had gained in my darkest hours.

Sometimes hitting rock bottom is a good thing it sure was for me.

Reflection and Realizations- at the bottom, you realize how far off course you were, and that your life choices were simply not sustainable. It’s in those dark moments of despair that your anger and frustration become so great and you declare once and for all to never accept such mediocrity from yourself or from others again.

Seeing your dysfunctional behaviors- are finally revealed if you never hit your lowest point, the dysfunctions continue to go unnoticed and unchecked, playing out under the denial radar and inevitably creating bigger dysfunctions and a harder fall down the track. Until the bubble bursts, and cleverly deludes yourself into thinking everything is just peachy, and your life ends up being built on a big fat lie and a false foundation.

Gaining Fresh Perspective- Hitting rock bottom of questioning everything that you’ve ever thought to be true. You question your motives and other’s motives, your beliefs, you fears, why you did things, why you didn’t do things, why you attracted certain people and circumstances, why you succeeded in something’s and not in others. The very fabric of your life is turned upside down and examined in raw detail. It’s from this point on that you build again from the ground up, with a fresh perspective based on your renewed sense of clarity.

Self-awareness of Bad Habits & Behaviors

At the bottom, your disempowering pattens and behaviors become glaringly obvious, and the triggers that kept you repeating those behavior patterns come into sharp focus. You realize that hitting rock bottom was not only inevitable but necessary, because those behaviors were simply not conducive to your growth. On top of that, and perhaps most importantly all the roles you have been playing pops into your conscious awareness. It becomes quite clear that you’ve been a kind of puppet, playing the same role over and over, and keeping the drama going over and over, like a well-paid actress(actor) in a soap opera. It’s not until you break the mold and start the journey back to your true self that you stop playing those old, scratched records and begin to create new conscious outcomes. I had it explained to me how many time are you going to go around the mountain before you try to go through it or up it, everything will stay the same until to change what you’re doing.

Trusting in life

You realize at the bottom that you were, in fact, not where you thought you were in life. You let your ego run the show with grandiose ideas about what you could do- not knowing you didn’t yet have the foundation to successfully accomplish those things. Ego’s death grip losses when you come to this realization, you start to trust life’s and choose to live in the moment more often. As you surrender to you higher self more and more, you align with your right purpose and right path. And it feels good.

Humility-

You gain humility. You see that life is not all black and white and that you don’t know everything in fact you know very little and then you decide to be a student of life rather than a juror.

Compassion-

You gain compassion. You understand what it’s like for people in the depths of despair, shame, guilt, grief, and fear. You cannot help but come back from the bottom feeling immense empathy for people with human conditions.

Letting go-

You are able to let everything go because nothing is working anyway. Letting go of the old leaves space for the new and some new ideas, People, opportunities, talents, and gifts start to flood into your experiences. As you empty your cup you fill it up again with stuff that you actually want, instead f accepting unconsciously assed on to you. Life hands you a cup of reality.

Taking responsibility-

After you have hit the bricks, you begin to accept full responsibility for the outcomes in your life. You see that blaming is futile, that complaining is dumb, and that making excuses is for the unenlightened. You realize it was you who created all the good and all the bad in your life. You dug the hole in which you were trapped and only you can dig yourself out. And finally become whole.

The only way is up-

The good news is once you’ve hit rock bottom, you know you can’t go any lower and it’s only up from here. Use the bottom as a springboard to push yourself up to the surface, away from the darkness and back into the light.

Trusting yourself-

Hitting rock bottom wake you up and how you were relying on externals to make you happy. Instead of needing outside validation you begin to trust yourself and start a journey within to find your own sense of worth and sense of self. This new inner sanctuary becomes the foundation for your happy and meaningful life.

Gratitude-

Finally after hitting your lowest point yo become grateful for all that your have from that time forward. You’re sure that your situation can only get better from here, and it does. Simple things like fresh food, a smile from a stranger, warm clothes on your body, a bed, good health, becomes like treasure. You existence is a constant prayer of gratitude to the universe and to yourself for not having the courage to move beyond hard times and choose life when you could have chosen a number of other options just to make the pain go away.The jewels mined in your darkness moments are what give you courage, wisdom, and richness that cannot be learned anywhere else.

Old Gas Station In Helper Utah

This Gas Vintage Gas Station hopefully will become a vintage motorcycle museum. This was the mans dream to what it will become.

Helper Railroad

How to get out of your comfort zone and overcome fears

pityropraise.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/pexels-photo-2041759.jpg

While this is a little drastic for what I’m writing about today. It’s something I want to do. A couple years ago I never would’ve thought about it at all.

The Ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way we grow. But often we are afraid to even take a step towards it.

Comfort zones are not really about comfort they are about fear. We need to break the chains of fear to get outside. Once we do we will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone.

What are the things you believe are worth doing, or are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential of disappointment or failure. I can tell you mine was talking, I was punished for 18 year for talking being hit or locked away., being told what I had to say was not worth anything. That no one wanted to hear what I had to say it didn’t matter. It took me many years to get the courage to even say to someone “Hello.”

Here’s a exercise I want you to try. Draw a circle on a piece of paper on the inside write everything within your comfort zone. On the outside everything outside your comfort zone. This process will allow you to clearly identify your discomforts and comforts, and become clear of what your aiming for. Take the list on the outside of your circle and go deeper. Remember your primary goal is trying to overcome your fear.

How does fear apply to each situation be very specific. Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks? Are you afraid of being ignored?

One way to get outside your comfort zone is to expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort. Let’s say in a social meeting if you start feeing panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay a little longer than you normally would before retreating in to your comfort zone.

If you stay long enough and practice often enough it will start to feel less uncomfortable.

Some of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams. Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from that experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance for success.

Don’t try to just jump out of your comfort zone all at once you will become overwhelmed and jump right back in. Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to try something like public speaking start be taking every opportunity to speak in small groups like families or friends. when I started this I would get very emotional and cry every time. Tears are okay, tears are just words your heart cannot say. You will get stronger as time goes on.

There is no substitute for this step right hear. If you want to become better at something you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start imitating them. Almost inevitably their influence will start to have an effect on your behavior.

Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses. Don’t say “Oh I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.” Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance on moving forward.

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will involve failure and setbacks that’s how life is for everyone. Everyone looks foolish at one time or another. Be happy to roll with the punches while others poke fun.

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your comfort zone. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Actions

Our actions are the practical manifestations of our thoughts it’s quite clear that we must bring about change in the way we think in order to create happiness and a sense of fulfillment in our life. A good thing about our brain is that it willingly adapts to any change that we bring about in our thinking patterns.

Affirmation are not always positive. They can be negative as well, curses created by witches are negative affirmations. The truth is that most people are given to making negative affirmations. When you think repeatedly that you are not going to succeed in a particular area in your life, it is a negative affirmation. Affirmation both negative and positive impact your neurological functioning of your brain.

Positive affirmations are like mantras (repeating frequently) they have a scared and spiritual force about them. Let’s be clear about creating positive affirmations. They should not be weak. Thoughts such as “I should or I ought to abstain from” are weak.

Examples of negative affirmations are “I can’t do this or It is difficult” on the other hand positive affirmations are “I can, I will, or I am going to” your brain is always adapting to your thought patterns and directs your organs to act accordingly.

When we keep mulling over our misfortunes, the perceived wrongs committed to us by those we have loved and stand by so sincerely. We never stop cursing ourselves for the mistakes that we think we have committed, what would have happened if I had done this or that? What would happen if I do this in the future.

This is not to suggest we should not learn from our mistakes or plan our future intelligently. The only thing is we should stop thinking over and over once we have learned from our past and decide about our future.

Quite often we love to wallow in misery, we enjoy creating self-punishing thoughts or being gloomy and pessimistic. This needs to be avoided.

Steve Harvey Video’s

Are not to help you become rich in money but rich in life. I used them you better my marriage, my life experiences, my relationships with my families and friends.

You have not because you ask not

www.youtube.com/watch

Old cars located by a gas station in Helper Utah..

I love the mountains

Am I living in bondage

Do you ever feel like every time you try to rise above your situation some unknown resistance renders you unproductive and devalued. You smile, but your actions and reactions all stem from a source seemingly out of control. You desire change, but default to the same ways. Some deep embedded issue surfaces and causes you to have mood swings or even become enraged.

If you relate in this in any way you may have become your own prisoner. You’ve accepted this as your normal lifestyle. It is called bondage and can affect everything in your life.

Inner healing is a process

When we think of bondage we see pictures of battling addictions such as drugs or alcohol. These chains are very apparent. What about someone that lives everyday fighting the failures of their past.

A woman delivered from years of abuse and mind control must learn to live beyond that fear and insecurity. It is not just removing her from the physical presence of abuse but starting a process of inner healing and affirming her worth. If she doesn’t receive adequate support and counseling, she may continue to live in bondage of fear and depression it will become a life lived under the control of her abuser without the actual abuse. This is bondage. I know even the fact that my mother abusing me during childhood as an adult I still feared her even if I didn’t see her very much. I expected this in my marriage I would be under the same bondage because that’s the lifestyle I knew. I let him emotionally control who I was. I would have horrible dreams about my mother and him telling me how useless I was. I was living in complete bondage and I was doing it to myself I was a prisoner of my own life. Sadly it too me over twenty years to overcome it. Because I didn’t know what I am telling you right now. It took me a lot of therapy to release all the anger and everything I kept shoving deeper inside.

Recognizing the problem

Do you find yourself withdrawing from the world around you, do thoughts of your past hurts, fears, or tragedies always rise to the surface and cause unwanted actions or reactions. Are you holding on to guilt and shame for something you have done? Just like a nicotine addiction you have made promise after promise to yourself that you would refrain from this type of behavior, but it just doesn’t seem possible. You feel destined to be this way. You may have even thought that this is your normal. You live in misery and sadness, hiding your feelings like there is no way out.

These things that keep someone in bondage have been intertwined in your daily lives that are almost Unrecognizable as a problem it has become hard for people to see the imminent danger there vices process.

Many would deny that they have a problem, because this has been their normal way of life. They proceed with their routine and the things that chain them conquer their days everyday. They battle the same miseries and unhappiness, shake it off to find new ways to cope.

A surrendered life

The depression, fear, and emotional trauma of the past are chains that must be broken in order for you to pick up the pieces and thrive.