Beauty in your life- change your thoughts for a positive outlook
Shoulder Tension- Burdens and Responsibilities.
Next Tensions- Fear and repressed self-expression.
Upper Back Tensions- Grief, sorrow, and sadness.
Middle Back Tension- Insecurity and powerlessness.
Lower Back Tension- Guilt, shame, and unworthiness.
Stomach- Inability to process emotions.
How do we learn to rest in Jesus? Maybe it’s a matter of focus. Of enjoying and being thankful for the good. Of growing in trust and patience. Of …
PRAY ON IT. PRAY OVER IT. PRAY THROUGH IT!🙌
Forgiveness is an important action that can lead to a place or greater healing and peace. Forgiving and letting go of anger and resentment had even shown to benefit a person’s physical health. Studies have shown that forgiveness can bring lower stress hormones, strengthen the immune system, lower blood pressure, and reduce body pains. However, as we know, forgiveness doesn’t come easy. While difficult a few steps can lead to greater understanding, awareness, and can equip an individual. With the necessary tools to forgive and move on.
For 40 years I could not forgive my mother for what she had done to me, I total hate for her.
Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate what about the situation is not okay. Then tell a trusted couple of people about your experience.
Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better.
Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with that person that hurt you or condoning of their actions. What you are after is to find peace. Forgiveness can be defined as peace and understanding that comes from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story.
Get the right perspective, on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from hurt feelings, thoughts, and physical upset you are suffering now, not what offended or hurt you in the pastor 10 minutes ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those feelings.
At the moment you may feel upset practice stress management to soothe your body flight or fight response.
Giving up expecting things from other people in your life, that they do not choose to give you. Recognize the enforceable rules you have for your health or now you or other people must behave. Remind yourself that you can hope for health, love, peace, and prosperity and work hard to get them.
Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that hurts you. Instead of mentally replaying your hurt seek out new ways to get what you want.
Remember that life well-lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby Go in the person who caused you pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you. Forgiveness is about personal power.
Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive.
My mother went to her grave keeping the reason why she did the things she did to me. I will never know the reason why she treated me like she did. I was kept away from her family, so I had no knowledge of what her childhood was like. But I still go every Sunday and put flowers on her grave and tell her ”I love her.”
My advice is to forgive whoever has hurt you, and speak to them with kindness. It will help to be happier and healthier. Forgiveness is an excellent way to start the healing process.
I am not my mother’s sin, I do not have to pay for what she did to me for the rest of my life. Be strong and move on.
Kathy Hyatt
Beautiful Scenery
You will never understand who you are, until you understand who God is
Billy Graham
Everyone gets attacked, injured, cheated, fooled, and harmed during their life- if not physically, then emotionally. A and everyone gets harmed by unpleasant events. We’re all victims, in moments to life’s challenges and difficulties- live’s lifeness.
It’s physiologically healthy to acknowledge the suffering and feelings of powerlessness that accompany such experiences. And yet there are those people who feel like victims all the time, regardless of their circumstances. Those with a victim mentality are always being victimized at least in their own mind. They maintain a constant victim identity and see life through perpetually victim-tinted glasses.
I lived my life with this mentality for 30 years. Before I learned I was just making myself a victim and wasted a huge part of my life thinking this way.
We all know people who seem to be constantly commenting on some injustice done to them- how others are denying them what they need, want, and making them do what they don’t want to do. Or how life is against them, and the universe is designed to punish them, personally. Perhaps you yourself are someone who experiences life this way.
Neither feeling like a victim of life, or loving someone who’s convinced they’re the victim of life, is easy. Both are painful.
Break Free Fron Victim Mentality.
Take ownership and responsibility for your own wants and needs. Determine what you want and what’s important to you. Name it and do what you need to do to make it happen- for yourself. Don’t waste time blaming and getting angry at those who don’t want or need the same thing you do, don’t wait for them to come on board to help you get what you want. Get busy taking care of what’s important to you, and leave others out of it.
Practice saying ”NO” if you don’t want to do something and don’t (realistically ) have to do it, don’t do it. Remember that you are allowed to have needs, just like other people.
Stop blaming. When you hear yourself going into blaming stories, whether against other people, the world life. Whoever say STOP! to yourself out loud, and actually turn your attention away from your blaming thoughts.
Become aware of the root of your sense of powerlessness. Before you construct the next narrative on who’s stealing your power, get curious about the underlying feelings of powerlessness that proceed with all situations, you’re not actually attending to you’re suffering or helping yourself feel better. By claiming the victim role, you are intensifying your pain. With the victim identity in play, you’re not only suffering because of whatever happened, but you’ve also now added to that suffering the fact that you don’t get what others get is out to get because you’re cursed, life and everyone in it is out to get you, and basically, the universe hates you.
Turn your focus on helping others. When you’re a victim mentally, the whole world is about you and your pain. Acknowledge your suffering with kindness, and then consider how you can help another being. As counterintuitive as if may be, the more you feel deprived, you more need to give. Offering kindness is the unrest antidote to ”Poor me.”
Practice gratitude. Victim mentality focuses you on your suffering, specifically what you’re not getting. Try flipping your perspective and focusing on something that matters to you that you do enjoy and that you do get. Shift your attention from what you’re missing to what you have.
Write a list of the ways you can change the bad situation. When you feel like a victim, you convince yourself that there’s nothing you can do to change your circumstances, but that’s almost never true. Get busy with how you can try and improve the situation, even if it feels impossible.
Practice empathic listening. When listening to other people, try listening with the intention of feeling what they are saying from inside their heart. Stop focusing on what you need to do about what they’re saying, or anything else that has to do with you. Listen as if you were just ears hearing, without putting yourself in the way.
Practice forgiveness. When you play the victim role, you’re deciding to hold onto bitterness and anger and the certainty that you’ve been wronged – often without even investigating what the other’s intention may have been. Instead of poisoning your own experience with resentful thoughts, try practicing compassion and understanding for the other. Start a new habit: make dropping resentment and trying out forgiveness a daily practice.
There’s another good about living as a victim, or with a victim, but with awareness, a desire to change, and new habits, you can outgrow the mentality. A life lived with gratitude and kindness is far much better than one of resentment and bitterness. Empowerment and self-command are available to everyone and with a good attitude. And behaviors, they’re yours for the taking. The first step is to decide that you’re ready to stop being a victim.
We all encounter problems routinely. Some of them are caused by our own mistakes, such as sleeping through the alarm or missing a meeting. Some are caused by others, (a
Just about everything we do throughout the day involves solving some kind of problem, it’s just an unavoidable fact of life. What we can do, however, is to learn to manage our problems. This involves, in part, managing emotions that arise when a problem occurs. It also involves being aware of the effect our regions to our problems have on ourselves and others.
Our ability to regulate our emotions in problem situations greatly influences how effectively we are able to solve the problems we face. In fact, emotional regulation is frequently the determining factor in whether or not a problem is solved and how easy or difficult it is to do so. For example, when a problem occurs, many people are able to quickly figure out the size of the problem and regulate our emotional reaction to stay calm and able to deal with it. But that’snot always the case. New or even bigger problems are created when the size of your reaction is mismatched to the size of the actual problem. Who wants that?
If I had an hour to solve a problem I’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.
Albert Einstein
Einstein had a point. When a problem occurs, many of us just swoop in and start trying to solve it without fully understanding what happened. We may overreact or shut down emotionally, making us unavailable to solve the problem at all. This wastes time and energy and often results in the creation of new or bigger ones.
Defining a Social Problem May Include:
Understanding that started or hidden social rules- what’s expected in any given situation. As long as everyone follows the hidden rules and is doing what’s expected, there is no problem and everyone feels okay.
Understanding the reactions of others, especially when our behavior is unexpected.
Understanding the perspectives and emotions of others.
Conflict can arise when someone has a very different point of view or interpretation of the ”rules” in the situation. For instance, if a student who became really upset by a teacher’s perspective as he had a different point of view. While the teacher considered the student’s behavior ”unexpected” the student felt it was fully ”expected” based on his point of view. This is why when working with students with social learning challenges, it is so important to spend time first defining the actual problem from multiple people’s perspectives. That way all people recognize what the actual social-based problem is.
A victim according to the dictionary is a person who has been attacked, injured, robbed, killed, cheated, or fooled by someone else, r harmed by an unpleasant event.
Everyone gets attacked, injured, cheated, fooled, and harmed during their life- if not physically then emotionally. And everyone gets harmed by unpleasant events. We’re all victims, in moments, to life’s challenges and difficulties life’s licenses.
It’s physiologically healthy to acknowledge the suffering and feelings of powerlessness that accompany such experiences. And yet there are people who feel like victims all the time, regardless of their circumstances. Those with a victim mentality are always being victimized, at least in their own minds. They maintain a consistent victim identity and see life through perpetually victim-tinted glasses.
I was in this state of mind for many years. I had been a victim for a long time. It took me 30 years before learned I didn’t have to live like this anymore.
We all know people who seem to be constantly commenting on some injustice done to them-how others are denying them what they need, want, and deserve, controlling them against their will, and making them do what they don’t want to do. Or how life is against them and the universe is designed to punish them, personally. Perhaps you yourself are some who experiences life this way.
Neither feeling like a victim, or loving someone who’s convinced they’re the victim of life, is easy. Both are painful.
How to Break Free From Victim Mentality.
Take ownership and responsibility for your own needed and wants. Determine what you want and what’s important to you. Name it, and do what you need to do to make it happen- for yourself. Don’t waste time blaming or getting angry at those who don’t want or need the same things you do don’t wait for them to come on board or help you get what you want. Get busy taking care of what’s important to you, and leave others out of it.
Do you feel like every to you try to raise, but you’re above your situation, some unknown resistance renders you reproductive or devalued? You smile, but the reactions of your actions all stem from a source seemingly out of your control. You desire to change, but a default in the same ways. Some deeply embedded issue surfaces and causes you to have severe mood swings or even become enraged.
If you relate to this in any way, you hay have become your own prisoner. You’ve accepted this as your as a normal lifestyle. It is called bondage and can affect everything in your life.
Here are some books I received that helped me to realize what was happening to me when I was in bondage.
1. Ministering Freedom to the Emotionally Wounded.
2. Ministering Freedom from Demonic Oppression.
Both written by Doris Wagner.
The second book, I have to admit was a little intimidating at first. But, once I began reading I learned a lot about what was happening and how it played a huge role in my life.
Inner Healing is a process.
When we think of ”bondage”. We see pictures of battling addictions such as drugs or alcohol. Those chains are very apparent. What about someone that lives every day fighting the failure of their past? How about someone that can’t rise from. The loss of a loved one or a past abusive situation? These issues are not always evident and are often overlooked, especially when they are easily camouflaged.
Everything is permitted for me but not everything is helpful, Everything is permitted for me, but I will not be controlled by anything.
2 Corinthians 6:12
Years ago I met a lady who had been in many abusive relationships, she was molested as a child from the stepdad. In 3 abusive relationships with the last one being the worse. She was in bondage, Her husband told her how to dress what color her hair needed to be who to talk to. She couldn’t even drive. When I would take her to lunch or shopping she was on the phone wanting to know what she was eating, where she was, what he was buying. And she had a specific time he wanted her home. If she even 2 minutes late he would beat her. She was deathly afraid and he told her if she messed up, they would never find her body, She would try calling the police but they were of no help. It took me 2 years to get her to file for a restraining order and then file for divorce. She was not allowed to work, and he had control of all the money. She didn’t even realize she was in bondage until she was divorced. You say why didn’t she leave earlier? She was afraid for her life. She knew he was serious about the death threats. He Stalked her for 2 years after the divorce. This is bondage. She had to move out of state and only a few knew where she was. Today she is married again and has a great husband, who loves her dearly.
Recognizing the Problem
Do you find yourself withdrawing from the world around you? Do thoughts of your past hurts, fears, or tragedies, always raise to the surface and cause unwanted actions or reactions? Are you holding on to guilt and shame for so thing you have done? Just like a nicotine addiction, you have made promise after promise to yourself that you quit smoking, but it just doesn’t seem possible. You feel almost destined to be this way. You may have even thought that is your normal. You live in misery and sadness, hiding your true feelings and feeling that there is no way out.
These things that keep someone in bondage have become so intertwined in their daily lives that they are almost unrecognizable as a problem, becomes hard for people to see imminent danger these vices possess. Many will deny that they even have a problem, because this has been their normal life, they don’t know anything else. They proceed with their everyday life. They proceed with their everyday routine and the things that chain them continue to conquer their lives. They battle some miseries and unhappiness, shaking it off to find ways to cope. The failure to live a surrendered life keeps them from freedom provided in a happy peaceful life they can enjoy.
From Pity to Praise