My story

Growing up was sometimes difficult, as the last child born. My mother have me at 39. I was always told I was a accident. Everything I was trying to do I was told can’t you do anything right. I remember going to the bathroom and trying to turn on the light but I couldn’t reach it. My mother seen me and told me you are useless you can’t even turn on a light. Things got worse from that point. I was told I was stupid, ugly, and I would never amount to anything. I believed what my mother said was true. After a few visits to the State hospital and a couple times trying to end my life. I realized that maybe God had a purpose for my life. But I didn’t now what. I just knew I couldn’t live like that any longer. I changed the doctors I was going to and I managed to find good ones. After years and years of appointments I finally was doing better, it’s hard to say that finally forgave my mother for me not for her. I will never forget. I realized I had to win this battle, I was not going to let her win. What she did to me was her sin not my sin, so why was I suffering for her sin, I did nothing wrong she did. I tell you don’t suffer for something you didn’t do, forgive yourself and move on.

Panic Attacks

There are a lot of individuals that have anxiety and panic attacks. Here are some things that might help you. Use deep breathing breathe in and hold it for 10 seconds and then breath out. Recognize that you are having a panic attack, close you eyes, practice mindfulness (focus on your breathing). find a object to focus on, use muscle relaxation scan your body this tells your mind there is no danger, Picture your happy place,. Having a panic attack triggers your fight or flight response but there is no imminent danger. I was at a huge convention once I was going to a Banquet. I starting having a panic attack . I had to rush away. It took what seemed like 30 minutes to calm myself down enough to re-enter. But it only 5 minutes for the panic attack to end. Remember it’s okay to walk away if you are panicked by a situation. You need to do what’s good for you. Don’t worry about what others think or say. It’s Important to take care of yourself first.

Low Clouds

I am feeling like a wall of Clouds is up today for me. I know it is a difficult time for every one. This Coronavirus and staying home is wearing me thin. I want to be out there helping people who need it. I feel like I am wasting good time on nothing. I am relying on this statement to get me through. Quarantine is in the Bible Isaiah 26:20, Go into your house, my people and shut the door behind you. Hide yourselves for a little while until Gods anger is over.

Beauty in your life- change your thoughts for a positive outlook