From Pity to Praise

Have you ever said something was, someone else’s fault.

An example would be “it’s all my teacher’s fault that I didn’t get a better grade, she didn’t explain it good enough.

Accountability is being willing to answer for the outcomes resulting from your choices, behaviors, and actions. When your personally accountable, you take ownership of situations that you’re involved in. You see them through, and you take responsibility for what happens- good or bad. You don’t blame others if things go wrong. Instead, you do your best to make things right.

I used to go to the Doctor and get medicine for ailments, or a counselor and then say “The Doctor didn’t help me, I’m dealing with this because he failed to help me” hence, it’s all his fault.

First and foremost Doctors practice medicine, they don’t know it all, their doing the best they can. That why it’s called a doctor’s practice. If you don’t tell them everything that’s wrong you might not get the help you need.

When I was going to therapists many years ago, I would blame them because I wasn’t getting better, but in was my fault because I would never tell them the whole story, or the root of the problem. Once I revealed to them the little secrets and got past “the what happens at home stays at home” phase I began to heal, and the doctors could help me more.

Sometimes it can be tough to take personal accountability. However, you’ll find that it offers many advantages. A study in 2005 found that children who were encouraged to take personal responsibility for their actions also had positive interactions.

Accountability also builds trust. Because people know that they can depend on one another. Leader who are accountable are more likely to be trusted and respected, because people know that they keep their word. If your not the leader type. This works in personal life as well.

Personal accountability can save time and money. People who take responsibility for their actions speak up, and they look for solutions when theirs a problem. This is not only prevents he situation getting worse, but it stops costs and delays from escalating.

Personal accountability is not a trait that people are born with, it a way of living that everyone can learn.

Here are some strategies to become more accountable:

Know Your Role. It’s hard to be personally accountable if you’re not clear what your responsible for. If this at you, and your at work, ask your boss to provide a job description this sets out your tasks clearly. At my work I have a responsibility to open the store, that means having keys to the building Opening the cash doors. Take money from customers, dealing with all donations, and helping people who come in the store wishing to find help for their addictions. We all know the mothers have a role. To do anything that teaches their children to have a successful life after their adults. Spend time with them, get on the floor and play with them. And most of all listen to them.

Be honest. Success in life only comes when you’re completely honest with yourself, and with others. This means setting aside your pride, and admit when you’ve make a mistake.

So, tune into your “gut feelings” when things are difficult, and learn to ask for help if your struggling, so that you don’t let other’s down.

Tip: Honestly is always the best policy, but don’t use it to blame others, or to make excuses. Instead, focus on your own role in the situation, and think about how you can resolve the problem.

Accountability doesn’t stop with honesty. If something has gone wrong and you were responsible, then you need to apologize.

Focus on making amends. When you apologize, and show whet you’ll do to make the situation right. This allows everyone involved to move on, and helps them focus on the end goal, rather than the problem.

Use time wisely. Procrastination is a common way to avoid responsibility, it delays dealing with the problem, meaning that someone may feel that they can’t reply on you, and this will affect your reputation.

You can overcome procrastination by identifying why you do it. Is the task dull? Do you lack information or resources? Or is there some other cause? Once you understand why you put things off, you can take steps to fix the problem.

Practice good time management, so that you make time for what’s important.

Here’s a big one:

Don’t overcommit. I am horrible at this, I tend to over burden myself because I like to stay busy, but I find myself running all the time with no time for me.

When you take on too much, something will eventually fall through the crack. Than means that you’ve let someone down.

So, before you agree to a new task, think carefully about your schedule and whether you we be able to fulfill the task to the best of your ability. It’s important to schedule time for yourself.

If your not completely sure you can do it don’t commit. Say “yes” to the person and “no” to the task so you maintain a strong relationship and a good reputation.

Make changes. Accountability can open up powerful learning opportunities. When something hasn’t gone according to plan, ask for help, and look for ways to do things differently in the future.

Reflect on your actions, spend some time at the end of each day running through these simple questions:

• What could I have done differently today?
• How can I learn this change into my life from now on

In time, you learn new skills and better ways to deal with difficulties.

If you’re like me, you will do things and then realize some would of went better if I’d done it that way. Write it down or remember it so the next time it happens you will know how to apply the change.