How To Treat People, Not As Bad As They Are, But As Good As You Are

Learn to treat people, not as bad as they are, but as good as you are. And in doing so you might become the first person in these people’s lives who treated them with love, dignity and respect each Human Being deserves to be treated.

It really does not matter what other people say and do. All that matters is what you yourself, say and do.

That’s all that truly matters.

I will share with you a list of things that are meant to inspire and empower you to treat people as good as you are.

Treat People With Love.

Don’t Fight People

Don’t resist them when you resist not only does it persist, but it grows in size.

I know we are living in a crazy time right now. This is not advice if you are being attacked or threatened. But, in everyday circumstances.

Just offer them love, have you even seen someone at the store and they are acting in a way that you find annoying. Many would say something under their breath. Would if you asked them how they were doing or just said hello.

That act of kindness may be the only act of love they will ever experience.

Treat people with dignity and respect

Be an example for others. Treat everyone with the dignity and respect each human being deserves to be treated, even if those people behave nothing like a human being. Never respond to darkness with more darkness.

Never go down to their level

There are people who will try very hard to pull you down to their level and have you dwell in the same misery they are in.

To many that sounds tempting to share in a pity party. It may make you feel better for a minute but, don’t accept their invitation. You should never go down to their level, that is a very dangerous place to begin.

Treat people with kindness

Be kind to people without expecting them to be kind in return.

Through you kind words and behaviors let them feel what it truly means to be and act like a human being.

Help them feel loved.

Help them feel seen.

Help them feel safe.

Help them feel human.

Acknowledge their pain

We pass by one another every single day, we no longer see each other. And it’s worse when we have to wear a mask that covers your face. We no longer see one another as human beings who are worthy of receiving each other’s presence, and affection.

This has created a deep wound in all of us.

And while some of us are better at dealing and at healing this wound, there are people in this world who are in terrible pain. There are people who don’t know how to handle the pain and loneliness that comes from feeling unworthy, and from not being seen.

And the person sitting in front of you might be one of those people.

Today at the grocery store I was helping a man take his groceries to his vehicle and as I was bringing the cart back into the store this lady slammed the door right in my face. She didn’t see me behind her but as she looked at me when I entered right after her. She just glared at me. I said “hello how are you.” There was no response. We need to stop treating people that way.

Show genuine interest in them

Be fully present

Show people that you truly care.

Ask questions like “How are you?”

Become genuinely interested in what’s going on in their troubled minds and tormented hearts. And where possible, help them realize that the enemy isn’t out there but rather in them.

Hold your tongue

If the bad people in your life are not in a place where they can hear what you have to say, it is crucial that you hold your tongue and slowly walk away.

Don’t get caught up in their madness.

Offer them a silent blessing

The majority of people have no idea the harm they are doing, to themselves and the whole world by behaving the way they do. They are clueless, but we know better, and we can do much better. Offer the a silent blessing and let them be.

Silently thank them for the lesson

What is a good man but a bad mans teacher? What is a bad man but a good mans job? If you don’t understand this, you will get lost, however intelligent you are. It is the great secret. (Lao Tzo)

The truth of the matter is that we live in a world of duality, a world where, in order for the good to exist the bad have to be present also.

Even though we might not realize this now, we all need each other to continue our journeys- the good people need bad people, and the bad people need the good people- it’s all for the greatest good of all.

This is the great secret.

Forgive them

Life is a great lesson in forgiveness.

The more we forgive,the more we can love. And the more we can love the more we can forgive.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

What you do always has a stronger impact on what you say.

So many times people will say one thing and then do another.

I’m sure many of us have heard the quote: ”put your money where your mouth is.” people are more likely to believe what you do rather than what you say.

I’ve had a few relationships where I’ve bought into the fact that could believe what they said because I cared for them to much. I’m sure it’s very common and it’s a good way to get hurt.

It is much easier to lie with your words than with your actions because what you do more strongly correlates with what you want and what you believe. You can say anything without believing strongly in it.

It’s an important axiom for parents who much remember that they lead by example. Children are more prone to feel allowed if the parent tells them not to do it.

People believe what you do more than what you say.

The proverb is more than 100 years old. Some of the first expression of it is found in the Bible. Including the verse of John stresses that saying you love someone is not the same as doing things for them

My little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth- John 3:18

In the 1500s the French writer Michel de Montaigne said: saying is one thing and doing is another.

An Englishman J. Pym once said:

A word spoken in season is like an Apple of Gold set in pictures of Silver, and actions are more precious than words.

In modern-day, this phrase is used to get people’s actions to line up with their words.

For example, consider this dialogue between a father and his child,

Child: I promise I’ll be on times for dinner, and ill di my homework as soon as I get it.

Father: Well, that sounds great, but actions speak louder than words. I’ll believe it when I see it.

As I spoke of relationships before, it is a common warning when he/she says they love you but don’t back it with their actions.

The proverb actions speak louder than words reminds us that what we do has more significance than what we say.

Is It Important To Be YourSelf?

From early in life, we might think we need to pretend to be a certain way in order to be accepted.

Here’s an example: from early on, I was taught to be someone other than who I was, I couldn’t talk, or even be in a room where people were. I was taught from a very young age that who I was wasn’t acceptable. I had to pretend to be someone I was not.

A lack of authenticity can make it hard to create fulfilling, intimate relationships.

Be yourself, everyone else is already taken

Oscar Wilde

In a world where we are told we can be anything we want to be, we can not be anyone that we want to be. You can be a writer, an artist. Or a Soldier but you have no choice but to be yourself. You cannot pretend to become someone your not.

I’ve tried pretending to be someone else, it’s very stressful, tiring, and ultimately impossible to do it forever. I am one of the people who tried and failed. And if you succeed in pretending someone your not, you will have no happiness in your life.

I come across people making their way through life by pretending. Maybe it’s easier to convince themselves they feel good about what they are not instead of being you they really are.

Contentment doesn’t require action so by convincing yourself you are happy even when your not you can avoid making difficult decisions. We don’t have to swallow our pride and ask for help because no matter what happens it’s okay with you. Pretending everything is fine means not having to contend with your fears and the disapproval from your loved ones. Pretending is costly because we may be giving away our peace of mind.

Why is it difficult to be ourselves?

From the time we were young, we have been taught that we are not enough as we are. People would not accept us the way we are. They wanted to make us think, look, and behave in different ways. It is a fundamental human desire for a connection and social relationships because we are, at our close, relational beings. Many of us choose to compromise, afraid that we would otherwise be left alone, isolated and helpless.

So we had to find ways to convince those around us that we are worth their friendship and act in certain ways to please others, in other words, we had to pretend. We have learned to cover ourselves with the veil of pretense. Behind the mask lies a deep-rooted fear; the fear to express yourself and reveal to others who you truly are.

Our lives do not feel very satisfactory because well, it not our life. It’s based on a fake version of us.

One of these days you are going to ask yourself whether you are truly happy. The truth is something inside of you already knows the answer.

Exposing your true self and fully embracing your deepest desires, and facing your fears requires a huge amount of courage. Many people have been trying to please others for such a low time they have forgotten who they are and what is truly important to them. Maybe even forgetting how to express yourselves.

The importance of authenticity in relationships

In thinking about your own life. Are your relationships genuine? Do you feel confident! Do you feel secure? Are you relaxed? For a significant amount of people, the answer will be no. You may pretend because you don’t feel enough as we are. Even if you don’t appreciate yourself, how can you expect others to appreciate you? If you’re pretending your relationships can become shallow and empty. There is no sincere communication in relationships built around pretending.

So how do we stop pretending?

Don’t imitate, everyone is different and so, to copy another person’s way of life simply means you are suppressing who you really are.

Speak the truth, be honest with yourself and with those you come in contact with. When a lie is told it causes anxiety because it must be covered up by another lie and so forth. Being honest is the best way to be at peace with yourself and others.

Find peace in being alone. It is better to be alone and confident I who you are, than to be in the company of others by lying out of fear. Once you have overridden the fear of being alone, you will be able to let go of the need for social approval. This will allow you to build genuine relationships.

Do what you love, no matter what others expect from you, try not to compromise your way of life. Whatever you enjoy doing, keep on doing it.

God’s Purpose Will Always Prevail

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

This verse confirms God’s plan for your life which is to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future.

I tell you from my personal experience I believe this is true. I was a depressed, lonely, pitiful human being, and God has brought me to a happy, successful, fulfilled woman.

You are here to fulfill a purpose, not just any purpose but your God given purpose.

In proverbs 19:21 Jesus says “many are the plans in a persons heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

Gods plans for us will always prevail.

The Lord has sworn “surely, as I have purposed, so it will happen.” Isaiah 14:24

I thought is was an interesting fact. Many people say Amen after something the is Prayed or spoken that you agree with. But do they even realize what Amen really means it’s “so let it be.”

God’s power is limitless,only a sovereign a God could promise that in all things He would work together for good for those who love him, to those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

What this verse means is that God in his mercy and grace will use all that the enemy used for bad to harm you and turn it around to work out for your own good, to prosper you. This included trials, temptations, and past mistakes. Amen

God is faithful and he will do it.

I sometimes think after all I’ve been through, all the horrible things I’ve done along with the craziness that was in my life. How could have possibly come out of that alive. Well I know that God had plans for me, a purpose to allow me to prosper. God will always prevail.

Tips For Managing Stress During The COVID

  • Take time away from media. Focus n the things in your life that are going well and that you can control.
  • Talk to family and friends. Stay connected, give hugs when the other person allows it.
  • Pay attention to your body. Recognize the early warning signs of stress, take times to renew your spirit through prayer, meditation and helping others in need.

Take time to exercise. Do some deep breathing. Write down what you are thankful for. Take a nap you deserve it. Play with your pet. Listen to some upbeat music. Take a walk.

The Beauty, Purpose And Necessity Of Pain.

I love this verse from the Bible in Reference to our suffering. Paul says in Romans 8:18, I am sure what we are suffering now cannot compare with the Glory that will be shown to us.

There’s a natural inclination to avoid pain. We protect ourselves from physical and emotional hurt usually at all costs. But pain can be a gift if we look at it the right perspective.

Have you ever loved someone or something dearly, only to have it taken away? Of course we all have. Some endings are like a death to the soul. It’s heartbreaking. We grieve a loss of once was and will never be again. When my father passed away I was devastated at the thought of losing him. It took me 9 years to even think about going through his things. They sat in my basement in boxes.

When I could finally go through his things, it was still hard. But then I realized I would see him again. And the reunion would be great.

The lose can be a job or throwing in the town on a dream you knew wouldn’t ever happen, giving up on an idea, and often times the most painful… the ending of a personal relationship due to a break up or death.

We can often become depressed varying from person to person. In cases some people never find acceptance. Or suppress their anger. (which is unhealthy) or deny the ending altogether like I did with my father. Both are doing whatever they can avoid emotional pain.

Physical pain can be easier to process for society. A cut, a scratch, a broken are is tangible. We now how the body works in healing itself. But emotional pain doesn’t sit on the surface- it exists in the heart. The ache someone feels is at times unbearable. And since the majority of people aren’t those who actively seek pain for enjoyment, it’s natural to turn from it given a choice

Pain is beautiful, purposeful and necessary.

I’m not the kind of lady who goes running around looking for situations that will break my heart. Pain can be a teacher of the highest caliber. And the go do Lord knows I’ve had my fair share. If we are willing to live in the moment with it, listen to it and experience it.

Some of the most impactful life lessons I’ve acquired over 50 years are from moments with in the grief I have grieved my childhood that was taken from me, having no friends most of my school years, the lose of 2 brothers in rather unfortunate deaths. I’ve grieved a troubled marriage for my years. Depression and anxiety most of my life and the list goes on. But I am not complaining. I know now it all happen to teach me very valuable lessons along the way.

Feeling aren’t like a fuse box where you can pick and choose the emotional rooms we turn on and off. Our emotions are like a single light switch. Turn in on and you feel everything-the good, the bad and the ugly. Turn it off and you no longer feel the pain, but you also miss out on the gratitude, joy, love and beauty. The problem is we sometimes leave the light switch off, to long then when you finally turn on the switch all the pain comes flooding out like a gushing river.

Pain is beautiful because it is unique for each one of us like a fingerprint.

Pain is purposeful because it can teach us things that we would not be able to see other wise.

Pain is necessary because without it, we would not be able to experience the joys in life.

Some people like myself shut off everything, by using drugs or alcohol, sports and exercise are addicting too, I used drugs preferably prescription drugs. Every time I didn’t want to feel anything I took an extra one or two pain pills. I was not only shutting off my pain, I was shutting off my life too. The thing is I could only do that for so long. I became an angry depressed person most of my life and that’s not who I wanted to be. I thank the Lord I was able with his strength stop taking the pills and begin healing and feeling everything inside.

One thing I learned first was that the beginning of love was to let those we love to be themselves, we cannot twist them to fit our own image. We cannot change people into a reflection of who we want them to be.

That is acceptance, we hit that necessary phase when we give up our perceptions and see others through soul-centered eyes.

A break up or an ending of any sort teaches us how to allow our pain to move higher in your consciousness.

I have learned that when pain comes into my life. I ask myself what is this pain or situation here to teach me.