Replace your Critical Attitude

A continuously critical attitude toward those around me will consume all that is healthy and joy producing in my life.

A farmer standing by the road one day and seen a vehicle filled with household goods moving toward him.

The farmer shouted where are you moving from. We’re moving from Brownsville. How much further it Jonestown? The farmer said why are you moving from your home. The people in the truck said “we’re moving away from the negativity and ungratefulness that was in that town.”

The farmer said well you are moving has the same kind of people you left.

Far more often than we care to admit, outlook determines outcome. The way that we look at a matter, the attitude that we choose, has direct bearing on how we experience reality. Two people can look at the very same circumstances and experience it entirely different based upon the attitude the choose-the patterns of thinking that they have formed over a long period of time.

I was at church this morning and we were singing worship songs. A lady was dancing and moving her arms in a way that I’d never seen before. But that was her way of worshipping. Another lady behind me went to the isle where the dancing lady was. She looked up and grabbed something from above and threw it down and stomped on it. Where ever your attitude was you could have thought she was being disrespectful to the lady that was dancing. Or you could see it as a act of grabbing the devil and stomping on him. What ever you thought would change your attitude toward both of the ladies. It turned out that she had seen a spider hanging from the web and she looked up to see the spider, grabbed the spider in her hands threw it on the ground and stomped on it. What was my eyes were telling me. What was a pattern of thinking telling me was she being. Was she being disrespectful to the lady that was dancing. My pastor thought she was grabbing the devil and stomping on him. The reality was she was killing a spider. There’s three different ways that circumstance and experience was seen based on your pattern of thinking.

In Matthew 7: 3 Jesus says “ Why do look at the speck in your brothers eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?”

We choose our attitudes. I focus on this because it is true and because until we accept responsibility for our attitudes, we will never be able to change. Although the concept of personal responsibility is in no way intended to ignore the role of background on our attitude. Some of us struggle more with certain attitudes because of the cultures we are from, the kind of homes we grew up in, or the kind of churches we attended during our younger years. Those factors have certainly influenced our tendency toward certain attitudes.

Maybe you grew up in a home that was forever picking out your imperfections or finding fault with everything you did. Maybe you were endlessly criticized yourself and hear that same attitude in the way you talk to or about someone else. Possibly you struggle in many public settings to simply relax and enjoy what is going on. Because all you have known how to do is inspect and examine and form opinions about what you see and experience.

If you grew up learning to criticize the speck in others’ eyes while a log formed in yours.

We all have a choice to change our attitudes. If I had kept the same attitude that I had learned growing up, that there was only bad in the world, and everyone was going to stab you in the back every chance they got. Where would I be today. I made the choice to see good in everyone and everything in the world. I wouldn’t be where I am today.

Make that choice to change your attitude and move forward, not backward.

The Strongest Hearts Have The Most Scars

I’m not sure about you, but I haven’t met a strong person that does not have a rough past, where they feel the have many scars in their hearts.

Depending on the experiences you may have along that, they can teach you a lot of lessons, leaving you with scars in your heart.

Learning a life lesson doesn’t usually happen overnight if you know what I mean. A life lesson takes some time to learn and some experiences are pleasurable and some are awful, to the point you may not know what to do next in your life.

Life is really a learning experience where you have to be awake in order to learn the lessons the correct way. Once you do, you will avoid more scars in your heart. It doesn’t mean you will not get them, but you can reduce the amount of scars coming your way.

Nothing is written in stone and all you can do is your best and you will figure things out along the way. It is wise to listen to people with the most scars. We can learn from them and their mistakes.

Remember:

You are already amazing, don’t try to be so perfect.

You can go through Fire and still not get burned.

Become someone legendary achieve your dreams.

Clear your mind, body and soul it shows what your really made of.

Be there for your love ones when it rains, and they’ll know you’ll stand with them when it shines.

The power of your words depends on the power of your actions.

Save yourself, your life is 100% your responsibility.

Make your future bigger than your past.

Take care of your dreams today, so your dreams will take care of you tomorrow.

Your kindness will always return to you in any way, shape or form.

Love everyone the same way you love yourself. If you don’t love yourself, you have no one to love

You change the world by changing yourself and providing a little bit of kindness everyday.

Never look down on someone unless your helping them up.

Take care of your body, so your body takes care of you.

You can’t give others what you don’t have , if you do your giving a part of yourself.

If you want the world to change, just look in the mirror and you will know where to start.

Stay Blessed

How To Beat Hurry Sickness

You get to work and your day ahead looks hectic. So while your on the phone you reply to emails, check your calendar are reply to several instant messages.

There’s no slowing down when you arrive at home. Just have to juggle cooking a meal, put the kids to bed, and do some housework.

And you do it all over tomorrow.

Does this frantic sense of being on the go seem familiar? If so you may be suffering from hurry sickness.

What is hurry sickness? What is it’s consequences and how to avoid it.

People with hurry sickness think fast, talk fast, and act fast. They multitask and rush against the clock, feeling pressured to get things done and getting frustrated by any sign of a problem.

You’ll never find a hurry-sick person with an empty diary. Hurry-sick people are conscientious and work hard, but they struggle to acknowledge the limits of what they can take on. They habitually commit to more than they have time for.

Also our twenty four hour state on connectedness means we increasingly suffer from fear of missing out. We’re so reluctant to disconnect and slow down. We worry about how it might look to take time off or say no to a task. This need to stay available means that hurry-sick people remain constantly switched on.

Once this cycle of panic has begun, it’s easy to get used to it, and even to accept it, even though it can damage us.

The Consequences Of Hurry Sickness.

Being busy is usually seen as a virtue but when busyness tips over into hurry sickness the consequences can be severe. You lose the ability to stop and think, and you become less effective.

Hurry sickness increases your body’s output of the stress hormone cortisol, which can cause long term health problems such as depression. It can affect your personal relationships.

Go-fast working habits can come home with you too and can make it difficult to give your best to family and friends. Your mind stays locked in a state of overstimulation, making you tired, anxious and prone to irrationally, unable to relax.

Overcoming Hurry Sickness.

It can be difficult to find a way out of the chaos of hurry sickness, but it is possible. Make a goal to work smarter- not harder, find strategies that will create lasting change.

There are three sets of strategies that you can combine to overcome hurry sickness. Some are just common sense but are easy to overlook when you’re living in a state of constant rush.

  • Question why you’re being asked to do something. If someone asked you to jump what would you say? How high or why. Your hurry sickness might be due to saying yes to people’s requests too often and taking on too much.
  • Be more assertive if your hurriedness is caused by other people not doing their jobs properly. Learn how to give clear feedback and to avoid taking on tasks that should be done by other’s.
  • Stop multitasking. The danger of juggling multiple tasks is that you spread yourself too thinly. Either you won’t work to the best of your ability, or you won’t ever complete anything. Calmly focus on one thing at a time. You’ll do a better job and be in less of a rush.
  • Prioritize everything. Prioritization is a critical survival skill for getting through pressured times. It brings order to chaos, creates calmness and space, and reduces stress. Plan an order for work. Focus on the essential and quietly drop the trivial.
  • Improve your time management. There are only twenty four hours in a day. Good time management allows you to get the important things done in less time. Switch your focus from activities to results, from hurriedness to effectiveness, and give dedicated uninterrupted time to tasks that matter. You can then target your attention where it’s most needed.

Where Do Values Come From

Have you thought about how you got your values? You need to investigate where your values come from for these important reasons.

  • Values influence your motivations to lead ultimately the legacy we leave.
  • Every decision you make is based on a value, whether you realize it our not. Your decisions are based on the cognitive standards of what you consider better or best verses good or not good.
  • Problems attributed to miscommunication are often just the opposite. Most problems arise from clearly communicated differences in values.

A value is an enduring belief that a particular end or means in more society or individually preferable than another end or means.

All of your values come from your underlying beliefs.

To understand where your values come from, begin with your beliefs.

For example, when your beliefs are tied to an authority figure, your parents, you church leader, the media, your beliefs are only as solid as that authority. When doubt is cast down on the source of your beliefs, you derived beliefs are cast in doubt with any associated figures often with shaken values. If you listen to a new station that tells you should fear a illness but your value system is God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind. You should be able to use common sense, the illness is here, but I do not have to fear it. Live your life as normal as possible and keep you and your family safe. Let other people live by their values, don’t attack them for it.

Examine where your beliefs that shape your value system.

What are my key values? What beliefs underlie these values? Where, when and how did these beliefs arise?

Are the based on your experience?

Did they come from your parents? Family members? Friends? Social or church groups? The military?

Did they come from another source of authority?

Have my beliefs been validated by others? Or have my beliefs violated others? Have you ever challenged my beliefs?

What might you believe if you let go of this belief and adopt another? Would your values shift you were to consider a different belief! If yes, then how?

You owe it to the people who depend on you to validate your values by first exploring the beliefs that spawned them. Remember not all beliefs are values, but all values are beliefs.

.

Your Value Doesn’t Decrease Based On Someone’s Inability To See Your Worth

Value systems in today’s society are based upon the most common things we are surrounded in everyday life, and everything we do is considered weird because human beings are by default scared to step outside their comfort zone’s.

And I have to mention that weird is considered to be something bad, which is not because it’s something different and it shows creativity, uniqueness and innovation. So when people call you weird think about it and second, smile and say Thank You for the compliment.

At the mention of moral values is completely ignored because they cannot be specifically defined or scientifically proven to be right or wrong.

When I go to town and do shopping sometimes people stare at me, or ask why are you so weird, I tell then if you took the time to go to know me, you might understand.

Being weird or different is something we should be proud of. It’s what makes you you.

In my opinion the first thing we should go for is in analyzing someone’s worth is their willingness to spread good, big things as well as the small things.

If you go through your day with sincere intention to share love, smiles, and good fortune with everyone around you, without hidden intentions. So that you should never have to question if you are a good person or not. It’s not about what everyone thinks about you. If how to think and feel about yourself that identifies your worth.

Be willing to help to a stranger, live your life to give back. If it’s freely given be willing give back.

Do good and get good in return

Always be willing to give more that you get, that’s what generosity is and it’s a very powerful trait in increasing your life quality.

Anonymous

When we start practicing this attitude and behavior we have to be very careful about toxic people that are able to suck your energy and willingness to do good for the rest of the day, or week.

When it happens and it will consider it a lesson so you can do better tomorrow. And try and avoid that toxic person. I do not let toxic people near me if I can help it. If it’s someone within your circle of friends, that is a clear warning they don’t belong there. We have to learn to handle toxic people.

I chose to ignore them or walk away, some people chose to make themselves unpleasant in a conversation. You have a right to act anyway because it’s your energy.

You might feel like everything is heading against you since you’ve made yourself open to share and spread love. No change in life is easy. You have to keep your willingness to improve and get stronger, so you can do more good and increase your value so much that if forces you a smile when you look at yourself in the mirror.

The Courageousness Of Accepting Things As They Are

It is only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are, without any self-deception on illusion. That a light will develop out of events, by which the path to success may be recognized.

I Ching

One of the hardest things in life is to accept our misfortunes, our quiet times, our frustrations and our fears.

We’d all love to have only success, fun and happiness, wouldn’t we? We’d love to skip the sadness, the fear, the uncertainty.

But this is not how life works. Not all the time.

There are things we have to go through-to grow, evolve and shed layers to slowly unveil the core of who we truly are.

There are times we all fall on the ground and lay idle for a while.

How can you make peace with the heartache you feel right now or the frustration that’s in you heart without turning to run as fast as you can?

You do it with courage and heart.

You face whatever you have to face right now. Without trying to fix it. Without trying to change it. You just let it be.

Yes, it hurt. Oh how much it hurts. But you’re strong and soon it’ll hurt less and less. And in no time it’ll just be a flickering candle spreading light. No pain, no misery. Simply a beautiful reminder of what was once affecting you to the core.

When I was letting everything bother me, I was living a life of hell believing everything everyone said about me in the past. My mother’s words to me were cruel and belittling, my husband’s words to me about everything was my fault. Even my child’s words when she told me

It hurt me so, I began to put up a wall so I would stop feeling anything and began to just go through the actions without any emotion. But I could only do this for so long.

Soon I had no choice. I had to face reality. Why were they saying these things to me, why did my own mother say these things to me.

I reached a point where I couldn’t hide my feelings anymore. The wall I had put up began to fall.

I made the choice not to try and fix it anymore, but to have the courage to find out why it was happening, and as soon as I things started happening, options appeared, I made friends for the first time in my life. I had a support system in my life, friends, counselors, and even my son. I would have done things to change my life’s my son wasn’t there to push me at times.

I finally began to accept my reality. When you stop fighting, pushing, screaming, wishing and instead open your eyes to the power you nurture within.

Fighting reality, wishing yourself into a better future, past, present is easy and comfortable. Embracing what it is not.

Fighting your reality might give you instant relief, embracing it with courage will give you peace for life.

Whatever you are, whether you’re unemployed, pregnant, lost, depressed or simply stuck in a hole you can’t seem go crawl out of begin with acceptance of what is only then can you truly begin to change.