When You Don’t Fit In: The Value Of Being Different

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

It took me along time to learn that lesson. I have felt different all my life, a lot of it. Was wondering if I even belonged, on this earth or in the present time.

At school as a child no one wanted to be my friend. They said “I was weird, different than everyone else. I learned to like being by myself all the time. From that point on I was just labeled weird or sometimes strange.

I always had problems opening my locker in junior high school. Other students would make fun of me, It would hurt me deeply but it also confirmed to me that my mother was right.

I enjoyed english class, and language arts. I throughly enjoyed music almost every kind (except opera). I enjoyed nature. I didn’t make friends until my senior year in high school.

I knew I was different then and as I grew I realized what’s tremendous value it was,

Although being different is not a easy path, I now hold my differences as precious. I want to be me, not someone who has to fake that they are like everyone else. I did that years ago, I felt like I was in prison all the time, having to hold everything inside.

Being different is a connection and belonging.

I’ve shared experiences with people who know what it’s like to feel different, creative people, people with disabilities, recovering addicts and some others.

Though we don’t share the same characteristics the mutual understanding of what it’s like to be different connects us, powerfully.

I know what it’s liked to be judged because of who you are. I know what it’s like to feel like an outsider. I know what sits like to try and hide my differences to fit in.

When fitting in is the opposite of being yourself. It makes you sick inside.

What I craved was to belong. Where I was accepted despite or even because of my differences only then different human beings find their true belonging.

What we have in common easily trumps our differences

We have empathy built into our brains, we mirror neutrons which means that we hear someone tell a moving story and we all feel what every one feels.

People who are different all want to be understood. Science has proven that we are instinctively more alike than different.

My differences are a source of motivation

Looking back on the life choices I have made. I can see in my life when it was hard as hell, but I never gave up, I’ve always helped people who were down because I knew what that felt like.

Even when I took too many pills to try and end my life or prayed to God to not let me wake up, I was in a place where I wanted to give up. When you tempt the Devil as many times as I have and your still alive, you have a big purpose in life to fulfill. But, don’t try what I need to find out if you have a purpose. It was a huge mistake what I did,nand is not safe.

Yes, I am different but I’ve realized I’m different in a good way.

Being different is creative. As I began to take more pride in what made me different. I began to research other people who went against the norms.

I’ve discovered that artists, innovators and other people who changed the world. They often felt excluded from the popular kids group at school.

They had the courage and resilience to put their ideas

They had the courage to take the risk of being judged, and the resilience to try again when they were. Some made it big in their case of creativity that rooted in differences.

You, too have value hidden in your differences

.

Though we may never escaped all judgement, we can learn to value our own unique perspective. At least we can stop judging ourselves.

The Father Of Lies

Don’t allow the enemy to strategize against you. Overcome and destroy his strategies through prayer. The main tactic of the enemy is deception. Satan is a liar and the father of lies.

God’s word will expose his tactics to you. God is light and His word is light. We must beware of the hosts of lying and deceiving spirits that work under the authority of Satan. These spirits cause delusion, lying, seducing, blinding, error, and guile.

We must call on God’s name, so He will strip away the power from these deceived spirits and cause our eyes to be opened. Pray that your enemies will be scattered, confused, exposed, and destroyed.

Change Your Mind Change Your Life

Our thoughts and the way we shape them determine the kind of life we lead. Our life can be happy, just satisfactory, or really sad based on the nature of our thoughts.

Accommodating only positive thoughts and emotions can set up your life for a happier existence.

Being happy and optimistic will generate a feeling of energy in your body, which will make us more content with ourselves and our surroundings and give out positive vibes.

When you are happy, your blood and circulation supply increases which is healthy for our organs. The willingness to change our thoughts and pull down and stop us from leaving our bed will not only, jump into action and make sure we stand on our feet, and will have a positive effect on our health too.

Our thoughts and attitude can enable us to do things we never thought could be done. I never thought I would be whole and happy 5 years ago. But here I a slaying it. We only need to have the desire and willingness to improve our lives.

Our brains are powerful and is able to change our thoughts, but it takes training, it will not change overnight. But it can change its thinking power if we decide to change our minds and change our lives.

Our thoughts drive our attitudes and that can determine the kind of lives we will lead in the world.

The fact that your actions and attitudes define our values and exists in your mind.

To be fully satisfied with your life, you must make the best of everything in your possession. Don’t stay fixed on your negative thoughts and think of things you should have.

We cannot have a perfect life, it’s not possible in the world as it is. We must learn to ignore all the imperfections ad negativity you come to witness in your routine. You can learn to find perfection in everything you find imperfect.

Change your mind to change your life and have more purity in your thoughts. If your thoughts are positive then your life will be too.

Stop yourself from feeling irritated when people react differently to how you want them to respond. Rather than demanding change and then angry about it, the best thing you can do is change yourself.

I used to get so upset and stressed by every little thing (even someone not picking up the right stuff at the grocery store.) it was driving me insane. I began to ask myself “does it really even matter?) usually it didn’t matter, I could not control it, so why stress over it.

You can change your thoughts and attitudes and try to adjust with the people or situations you do not agree with. Do not think you can change the world because only thing you have power over is your mind.

Reflect on your life, everyday

Every morning wake up and take some time to reflect on what your grateful for in your life. Try spending 15-30 minutes on yourself every morning.

When reflecting on the positive you mind fixates on all the good things that happens to you on a daily basis.

Be thankful for life, God breathed life into you another day.

Be grateful you had a great talk with a co-worker or friend. Be grateful you have gotten to help someone today.

We must see all the positives that happen in our life during the day.

Focus on the positive instead of the negative. When I negative enters your mind change it to a positive thought. “I ran out of gas today, but I had a chance to make a friend.”

Fill your heart with positives and there will be no time for negatives.

When you wake up in the morning have a attitude that your going to happy all day.

We all have a responsibility to change our life and stay happy.

Accountability

Have you ever said something was, someone else’s fault.

An example would be “it’s all my teacher’s fault that I didn’t get a better grade, she didn’t explain it good enough.

Accountability is being willing to answer for the outcomes resulting from your choices, behaviors, and actions. When your personally accountable, you take ownership of situations that you’re involved in. You see them through, and you take responsibility for what happens- good or bad. You don’t blame others if things go wrong. Instead, you do your best to make things right.

I used to go to the Doctor and get medicine for ailments, or a counselor and then say “The Doctor didn’t help me, I’m dealing with this because he failed to help me” hence, it’s all his fault.

First and foremost Doctors practice medicine, they don’t know it all, their doing the best they can. That why it’s called a doctor’s practice. If you don’t tell them everything that’s wrong you might not get the help you need.

When I was going to therapists many years ago, I would blame them because I wasn’t getting better, but in was my fault because I would never tell them the whole story, or the root of the problem. Once I revealed to them the little secrets and got past “the what happens at home stays at home” phase I began to heal, and the doctors could help me more.

Sometimes it can be tough to take personal accountability. However, you’ll find that it offers many advantages. A study in 2005 found that children who were encouraged to take personal responsibility for their actions also had positive interactions.

Accountability also builds trust. Because people know that they can depend on one another. Leader who are accountable are more likely to be trusted and respected, because people know that they keep their word. If your not the leader type. This works in personal life as well.

Personal accountability can save time and money. People who take responsibility for their actions speak up, and they look for solutions when theirs a problem. This is not only prevents he situation getting worse, but it stops costs and delays from escalating.

Personal accountability is not a trait that people are born with, it a way of living that everyone can learn.

Here are some strategies to become more accountable:

Know Your Role. It’s hard to be personally accountable if you’re not clear what your responsible for. If this at you, and your at work, ask your boss to provide a job description this sets out your tasks clearly. At my work I have a responsibility to open the store, that means having keys to the building Opening the cash doors. Take money from customers, dealing with all donations, and helping people who come in the store wishing to find help for their addictions. We all know the mothers have a role. To do anything that teaches their children to have a successful life after their adults. Spend time with them, get on the floor and play with them. And most of all listen to them.

Be honest. Success in life only comes when you’re completely honest with yourself, and with others. This means setting aside your pride, and admit when you’ve make a mistake.

So, tune into your “gut feelings” when things are difficult, and learn to ask for help if your struggling, so that you don’t let other’s down.

Tip: Honestly is always the best policy, but don’t use it to blame others, or to make excuses. Instead, focus on your own role in the situation, and think about how you can resolve the problem.

Accountability doesn’t stop with honesty. If something has gone wrong and you were responsible, then you need to apologize.

Focus on making amends. When you apologize, and show whet you’ll do to make the situation right. This allows everyone involved to move on, and helps them focus on the end goal, rather than the problem.

Use time wisely. Procrastination is a common way to avoid responsibility, it delays dealing with the problem, meaning that someone may feel that they can’t reply on you, and this will affect your reputation.

You can overcome procrastination by identifying why you do it. Is the task dull? Do you lack information or resources? Or is there some other cause? Once you understand why you put things off, you can take steps to fix the problem.

Practice good time management, so that you make time for what’s important.

Here’s a big one:

Don’t overcommit. I am horrible at this, I tend to over burden myself because I like to stay busy, but I find myself running all the time with no time for me.

When you take on too much, something will eventually fall through the crack. Than means that you’ve let someone down.

So, before you agree to a new task, think carefully about your schedule and whether you we be able to fulfill the task to the best of your ability. It’s important to schedule time for yourself.

If your not completely sure you can do it don’t commit. Say “yes” to the person and “no” to the task so you maintain a strong relationship and a good reputation.

Make changes. Accountability can open up powerful learning opportunities. When something hasn’t gone according to plan, ask for help, and look for ways to do things differently in the future.

Reflect on your actions, spend some time at the end of each day running through these simple questions:

  • What could I have done differently today?
  • How can I learn this change into my life from now on

In time, you learn new skills and better ways to deal with difficulties.

If you’re like me, you will do things and then realize some would of went better if I’d done it that way. Write it down or remember it so the next time it happens you will know how to apply the change.

Two Sides To Every Story

Sometimes I think people forget there are two side sides to every story.

In the modern world today it seems we talk about others like they don’t exist. Forgetting the other person has a heart.

I like people who understand. The type who aren’t quick to judge. You can vent to them, and labeling you will be the last thing on their mind. They don’t believe rumors because they know they are two sides to every story. They give you a chance before they judge you. They get to know who you really are, then have an opinion.

We should all ask ourselves these questions before we ever speak:

  • Is it true?
  • Is it good?
  • Is it kind?
  • Is it useful?
  • Is it necessary?

If you don’t know the other person’s story personally. Don’t talk about them, or judge them. We would all be better off if we lived like this.

Ways To Detox Your Soul

This Week is Holy Week. I thought I would give you some ways to detox your soul.

Release negative habits, false beliefs, fake friends, and anything that does serve you.

We’ve all been raised to believe that a busy life is a happy life, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. The modern lifestyle does have its advantages over previous ways of living, but it also contributes to the stress and health crisis prevalent in many countries. We have more stuff but let time to enjoy it. We have more doctor’s but less health. It’s time to detox. We have more food, but less nutrition. The,it’s could go on, and on but you get the point.

You can find countless detox methods online for your body, but very few people remember that our soul needs detoxing as well. Modern living is very burdensome on the spirit, so you need to do a cleanse from time to time. This week-Holy Week is the best time to start.

Below are some ways to lighten your spiritual load and spread you wings once again.

Does reading was you just read, sound like anyone in your life? If so you need to realize that they will only change if they want to. You cannot make them change, and you shouldn’t count on it. If someone in your life makes you depressed, anxious, or just not like yourself, then you shouldn’t go out of your way to keep them around. Negative people bring you down, and can even make you sick. Do what your soul craves, and seek out people who will make you happy.

  • Remove negative friends from your life. Whether through overt cruelty, passive prioritize their self-interest about everyone else’s. They refuse -or are unable to consider another person’s perspective how their behavior affects others,they disregard personal boundaries, avoid admitting it when they’ve done wrong, and are unwilling to change.

Clear out the clutter. Physical clutter has been known to cause anxiety and stress, which means it doesn’t just affect the space around you, it also leads to mental anguish. One sure way to detox your soul is to minimize your possessions and only keep things you actually need. Once you have a clean living space, the clutter in your mind will start to diminish, too.

  • Keep yourself hydrated. Did you know that up the 75% of Americans live in a chronic state of dehydration? People have become addicted to surgery, carbonated drinks that only increases dehydration and insulin spikes. Water is the most natural drink on the planet, yet people seems to have an aversion to it. Making sure you drink at least a gallon of water a day. (1 gallon) How much soda or coffee do your drink in a day, probably close to the amount of water you need. Making sure you drink water, your energy will increase, you will have clearer skin, better digestive health, and balanced gut bacteria to name a few benefits. This will help your body feel better,which in turn give you soul just the boost it needs.
  • Eat a healthy diet. When we consume unhealthily foods, our mind and spirit take a beating right along your body. The importance of eating whole, fresh, nutrient rich foods cannot be stressed enough. Proper nutrition helps every function in our body. Keeping your diet in check and detox will help you feel better spiritually as well.
  • Meditate. Entire books can be about the benefits of mediation, so let’s just keep this brief, meditation is to spiritual health what fruit and you veggies are to physical health. It can lower blood pressure and heart rate, increase concentration, help with mental clarity, contribute to feeling of peace and even boost compassion toward others. Just sitting and meditating 10 minutes a day and focusing on breathing while detaching from life for a while will be wonders for your soul.
  • Be Kind To Yourself. In our fast-paced lives, we don’t spend enough time pampering ourselves. There’s barely enough time to catch our breath. Treating yourself will give your mind a break from all life’s stresses, and will make you happier overall.
  • Put a Down Your Phone. There is no argument that technology use has taken away from your quality of life. We send less time talking to one another and more time scrolling mindlessly through useless information. While technology has its benefits the way we use it in everyday life is detrimental to our well being. Use some self-control and restrict your technology use to certain times of the day. You’ll be more present and mindful of your surroundings, and your mental and spiritual health will start to improve.
  • Move your body. The benefits of exercise are well known yet so many live a sedentary lifestyle. Moving your body will help free up your mind, which will raise your spirits too. Find a exercise routine that works for you, and stick to it.

Many don’t realize they are killing the selves miserably and slowing.

Send some time with God this week, and work on getting yourself on the right track.

Happy Passover and God Bless You.