Christmas Blues

For many, the Christmas period is a far cry from a happy, joyful time with gifts and laughter. It’s a period with some kind of disappointment, anxiety, sadness, depression and even suicidal thoughts. Christmas is often accompanied by stressors, including alcohol, changed sleep patterns, increased financial burdens, and the lost of loved ones.

When my father passed away the holidays were a depressing time for me. Knowing that his favorite season was Christmas was especially difficult. He was a kid at heart if I didn’t wait until Christmas Eve to take his my gifts. He started opening them as soon as I sat them on his table.

I took care of my father for 10 years. When he passed I started drinking alcohol again. It was the only way I knew how to deal with his loss. Especially as the Christmas Holiday approached.

It is important for people to acknowledge the difficulties during these times. Some may need to seek professional help for Christmas depression or sadness if it’s severe. However staying active and not isolating ourselves, reducing alcohol consumption.

Most Importantly, remember that the advertising hype and perfect imagery is fictional. Don’t let it define your experience.

If your financially burdened, there are some “Do it Yourself” crafts that are pretty simple. Or even spending time with people. A gift of time is the greatest gift. Baking sweets and give them as gifts. I usually make fudge every year to give. It easy, not the expensive, and easy clean up if you clean right after it’s done, while everything is not caked on. I have a friend that makes wreathes to give as Christmas gifts. I never go a Christmas without having a new wreath on my door. Some people know how to crochet. They crochet all year long for gifts during the holiday season.

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Experience Christmas Peace In Your Life Everyday

I write this because I know peace from the fear, the panic attacks, the generational curses that were in my life. The pain and anguish that I suffered. I thought this God stuff was just a lie, I was a huge skeptic but when I began going to church because of my children. God changed my life around completely, I truly want to make my life better, but I didn’t think this was the way.

When I say peace, I don’t simply mean the absence of conflict or animosity, I mean the presence of joyful tranquility and as much richness of interpersonal communication as you are capable of; a back and forth richness and sweetness, open, free, sweet no agenda peace. Is that what we’re all after.

So let’s look at these. Let’s start with the key. There is more than one. The key to each of three relationships of peace is keeping together what the angels kept together. But, we first have to treasure the glory of God. If you just want peace you won’t get it. You cannot separate the two. Th angels won’t let you. God won’t let you. God’s purpose is to give you peace by being the most glorious person in your life.

Five times in the New Testament, God calls for peace, Jesus said “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you” (John 14:27). And Paul said Jesus Himself is our peace ( Ephesians 2:14). So if you say I want peace but I don’t want a glorious God. I want the peace, but I don’t want the sovereign Jesus, then you won’t have the peace. The angels have it right. The angels keep it together. If we want peace to rule in our lives, God must rule in our lives. He is our peace.

So the key to peace is glory to God and peace to men to keep it together. A heart bent on showing the glory of God will know the peace of God, making much of a God, displaying the beauty of God, admiring God, hallowing God’s name, and enjoying tranquility and peace and candor and openness and readiness to forgive and receptive hearts- not pushing people away, but welcoming people in, sometimes even long lost enemies. What keeps those together? Faith. Believing the promises of God bought by the blood of Jesus. And there is a key text. It is precious in my life. I love this- simple verse from Romans 15:13: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing.”

I don’t think it could be much clearer. How we I enjoy joy and peace from the God of hope? How will I? What connects me to that God and His peace? In believing, by believing, through believing the promises bought by the blood of Jesus at the Cross.

May Your Christmas begin a journey to God and believing and having faith and hope Jesus died for you. And paid the price for you to have peace.

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Shifting Focus

We all want to succeed. And one path to success is identifying the habits that can help us on our journey.

These days people look for quick fixes. Some see a successful, happy individual and wonder- how do they do it?

First of all there are no quick fixes to anything that brings success, and happiness. It take time and you have to be able to shift your focus and embrace some changes. Any quick fixes in our journey through life are just band-aids that yield short term solutions that don’t address the underlying conditions.

Theway we see the problem is usually the problem. We must allow ourselves to undergo shifts to change ourselves fundamentally and alter our attitudes and behaviors on the surface in order to achieve true change.

We should focus on these habits.

  • #1. Be proactive
  • #2. Begin with the end in mind.
  • #3. Put first thing first
  • #4. Think your going to win
  • #5. Seek first to understand. Then to be understood.
  • #6. Sharpen the saw.

Habits 1, 2, and 3 is focused on self-mastery and moving from dependence to independence.

Habits 4, 5, and 6 is focused on developing collaboration and communication skills, and moving from independence to interdependence.

Habit 7 is focused on continuous growth and improvement and embodies all the other habits.

We are in charge. We choose which values to live our lives by. Use this self-awareness to be proactive and take responsibility for our choices.

What distinguishes us as human from all other animals is our ability to examine our own character, to decide how to view ourselves and our situations, and to control our own effectiveness.

Reactive people choose to take a passive stance they believe the world is happening to them. There’s nothing I can do. Or that’s just the way I am.

They think the problem is “out there” but that thought is the problem. Reactivity becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and reactive people feel increasingly victimized and out of control.

Proactive people, however, recognize they have responsibility or response ability to choose how you will respond a given situation.

It is our willing permission, our consent to what happens to us, that hurts us far more than what happened to us in the first place.

Stephen Covey

Truth Be Told

This is a song by Matthew West. I chose to share it. Because there is truth to it.

Lie number one you’re supposed to have it all together. And when they ask how you’re doing just smile and tell them, Never Better.

Lie number two everybody’s life is perfect except yours. So keep your messes and your wounds and your secrets safe with you behind closed doors.

Truth be told. The truth is rarely told.

I sat I’m fine, yeah I’m fine oh I’m fine hey I’m fine but I’m not and you know it. I’m broke and when it’s out of control I say it’s under control but it’s not and you know it.

I don’t know it’s so hard to admit it. When being honest is the only way to fix it. There’s no failure in fall. There is no sin you don’t already know. So the truth be told.

Can I really stand here unashamed. Knowing that you love for me won’t change? Oh God if that’s really true. Then let the truth be told.

We are told to our problems and feelings to ourselves. Keep it under wrap and key. But I know from experience that is not true. I hide everything inside for to many years. It’s wasn’t until I started talking about my past traumas and feelings that I began to heal.

So, stop trying to hold it all in, it only slowly kills you inside. Let it all out, that’s the only way you’ll be peaceful, happy, energized and truly let the truth be told.

Standing Firm On The Promises Of God

Have you ever stare into a situation in the face and wondered how you came to stand where you are? It is times like these that we need the promises of God. We need to read them and we also need to recite them, pray them, and believe them.

One truth I am constantly reminding myself of when I am standing on the unconditional promises of God is that He does not change as people do. God does not promise something and then remove it because we displease Him. God’s promises are not reliant on our actions or the condition of the world around us.

You can stand firm in your faith because God is immovable.

Praying the promises of GodThe promises of God are Yes and Amen

What are the 7 promises of God

  • promise #1- I have forgiven you
  • Promise #2- I love you
  • Promise #3- I will never leave you
  • Promise #4- I will fight for you
  • Promise #5- I hear your prayers
  • Promise #6- I Am your safe place
  • Promise #7- I have an eternal home for you.

What does it mean to stand on the promises of God?

My pastor always talks about praying Bible verses. This is something I completely embrace and you will understand why this practice is helpful. With this in mind. I pray the promises of God.

One day while dealing with my seasonal affective disorder. I began praying I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 says breathe in, pray out, breathe in pray out.

I could feel myself gaining strength in knowing I have light and warmth in my heart and that I would get through the bad days if I focused on the light and warmth of God I can learn how to be at peace in the winter as well as the warmer months.

You may think are the promises of God really for me.

As a believer of God, you are covered in the blood, wrapped in grace, and are written in the palm of His hand.

”For no matter how many promises God has made they are Yes I Christ. And so through Him the Amen is spoken by us to the Glory of God” (Cortinthians 1:20.)

The definition of Amen is ’so be it.’ That should be our attitude when standing firm on the promises of God. God will come through. So be it. God has it forsaken me. So let it be God have forgiven me. So let it be I am clean. So let it be.

How many promises are there from God? The Bible is full of God’s promises. So many, in fact that I thought I would narrow it down and focus on 7.

Sin separates us from God. Sometimes we feel dirty to come before Him. Sometimes pride prevents it. In any case, when we are ready to accept this promise of God, He is ready to give it.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. ( John 1:19)

I even I am He who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake and remember your sins no more. ( Isaiah 43:25)

God remembers your sin no more. It is finished. You have been washed clean by the blood of the Lamb.

Stand on His promises.

Ways To Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone Everyday

Want to get out of your safe cocoon but don’t know where to begin. The hardest part is taking the first step.

It’s so much to stay within the boundaries of where you are comfortable that it is to face the fear of going beyond them.

By limiting yourself to what you already know, you’re really missing out on some great opportunities, life experiences, and personal growth.

Individuals say to me, how do you do things with no issues? Whatever situation or the activity comes up, your ready to jump in there. I tell them Oh believe me there was time I would say no to everyone or everything that came my way.

Here are some simple steps you can take each day to push your limits.

Take the first step

In theory, all you need to do is to take the first step. It will be difficult. The first day is the worst. The opening line of your story can take a long time. But as you gain momentum, it gets easier to keep moving.

Put yourself in a new environment

It’s best to begin with small changes that will not present any real threat like eating at a different restaurant in a different part of town. Try attending a gun show or art exhibit. The idea here is to place yourself in a new area where you can control the situation. I remember I started getting myself out there by going to a conference on mental health for the weekend. I huge step, I was 150 miles away staying in a hotel with a lady that I didn’t know very well. It was a huge step, that didn’t turn out very well. I ended up having a horrible panic attack at the banquet because their we’re about 300 people in one room.i ran out in the hall and just began to shake life a leak. Sobbing horribly not even able to breath. I have no control over anything there, I couldn’t head to home because we brought the other ladies car. Until it was over I was a mess. I managed to get my licence to facilitate a group to help people handle just what I had been dealing with. And become all the stronger for it. If you don’t think your able for a big change all at once start slower. I like to start big and get it over with. Some people it works for and others it doesn’t.

Don’t pick a safe place

Every time you’re making a choice, one choice is the safe/comfortable choice and on choice is the risky uncomfortable choice. The risky/uncomfortable place is the one that will teach you the most and make you grow the most.

Take a different route home

If you drive or walk a different route, you will see different things. In a small way, that increases your view of the world. That is an easy way to start. After that make more drastic changes. Eventually, you will feel comfortable thinking out of the box.

Make snap decisions

It doesn’t have to be a life or death decision. Anything from choosing a restaurant to shopping. Just make a choice that’s unusual for your routine without overthinking it.

All of those things may seem daunting, flip a coin. I’m serious. Flip a coin over the decision and stick to it. Some people do it all the time and they end up glad that they did.

Eliminating the need for mulling over a decision boosts the process of stepping out of our comfort zones. Plus snap decisions install a feeling of self-trust.

Say ”yes” more often

Saying yes even when you don’t think you’re ready. If you are working, say yes to new projects, new assignments, new roles even when you have not done it before. It opens up huge opportunities in your career. Who knows you might find yourself enjoying something you never got the chance to explore earlier.

Volunteer

Preferably, make it a learning experience. Pick something you’re unfamiliar with and soak up everything you can while also making yourself useful.

I am big on volunteering. I volunteer for a Veterans Organization. I wasn’t sure of doing this at first. But then I got the opportunity to be President for a year. I didn’t choose to be in this position but, rather it was forced on me when the President resigned mid-year. It was a lot of work, but I learned a lot and smarter when it comes to the brave soldiers in our country. I’ve volunteered at a drug addiction recovery center. First it was going to a group and sharing my experiences and listening what others were sharing. Then it eventually began with volunteering at a store that funds rehabilitation for them people. I volunteer at my church once a month. Doing these things help me not to overthink my decisions and past. It keeps me pretty busy and I love it.

Do what you’re afaid of

New mindset. It goes like this. Does this scare me? Then I have to do it. That’s how you conquer fear. It never goes away. You just learn how to ride the energy.

Create challenges to push yourself in areas you want to improve on

Decidecacfew challanges and their triggers for yourself designed to push you outside of your comfort zone in areas you want to develop.

Next time you see someone your attracted to go up and talk to them.

Next time you go buy a cup of coffee or anything else ask them for a discount since your there every day.

Next time you make eye contact with a stranger keep looking at them until they look away.

Next time someone asks you how you are respond by saying you are doing great instead of saying just good.

Just focus on your triggers and don’t make any excuses. It’ll become a habit after a while.

Remember tomorrow is a new day. It helps us remember that what doesn’t kill us generally makes us stronger. You will survive, you will heal, you will learn something, you will have a better chance of emerging unscathed next time.