Effective Communication

November 3- Today I am thankful that I was able to sleep in a warm bed, and have a day off from all the hustle of life. Have some time for myself.

Effective communication skills are fundamental to success in many aspects of life. Many jobs require strong communication skills. People with good communication skills usually enjoy better interpersonal relationships with friends and family.

Effective communication is the key for interpersonal skill and learning how to improve your communication. But, people sometimes find it difficult to know where to start. This article will give the most common problem areas and may suggest where you might focus your attention.

This was a difficult area I struggled with. Since I grew up not being able to talk. I didn’t learn any social communication skills. Therefore I didn’t speak very much for many years. I didn’t learn the techniques until I was about forty nine years old.

Identifying Problems

Many people appreciate that they have a problem with communication skills but, struggle to start to improve. There are several ways that you can identify problem areas.

Ask your friends and family to advise you. Most people will be happy to help you towards self-improvement.

You can simply work to improve the most common problems area and see what happens. Which was what I did, I used my husband as a guinea pig. I just started talking and while he didn’t give me any advice he listened. At that’s exactly what I needed him to do.

Learn to listen- One of the most common areas to need improvement is listening. We all tend to forget that communication is a two-way process. We fall into the trap of broadcasting when we just have an issue with a message, and fail to listen to the response. Many times we are not listening to others in conversation, but thinking about what we plan to say next.

Improving our listening skills is likely to pay off to improvements in our relationships both at work and at home.

What is listening? Listening is not the same as hearing. Learning to listen to messages not only paying attention to the words being spoken but also how they are being spoken and the non-verbal messages sent with them. It means giving our full attention to the person speaking, not genuinely concentrating on what they are saying- and what they are not saying.

In today’s world, people are allowing their mobile devices to distract themselves and not communicating with the people sitting right next to them. It is very bad for interpersonal communication and we will someday regret it.

Good listeners use the techniques of clarification and reflection to confirm what the other person has said and avoid any confusion. These techniques also demonstrate very clearly that you are listening.

It is very important to consider and understand non-verbal communication particularly when it’s absent or reduced by phone conversations.

Non-verbal communication is often thought of as body language, but it covers far more. It includes, for example, tone and pitch of the voice, body movement, eye contact, posture facial expression, and even physiological changes such as sweating.

You can understand other people better by paying close attention to their non-verbal communication. You can also ensure that your words and body language are consistent.

Then there is the issue of questioning skills. Questioning is a crucial skill to ensure that you have understood someone’s message correctly. This is a way of obtaining more information about a particular topic or simply starting a conversation and keeping it going. Those with good questioning skills are very good listeners because they tend to spend far more time drawing information out from others that broadcasting their own opinions.

How Hope Can Help You Heal.

November 2nd- I am thankful for my little dog. Because when I come home tired and stressed out, he is always there to sit on my lap and release my stress and lift my spirits.

Hope may buffer us from stress, anxiety, and the effects of negative life events.

Studies have shown that hope promotes healthy daily behavior.

Few things a more beautiful than hope. It isn’t tangible, easily measurable or available in pill form.

That’s likely why the idea that hope may wield a significant influence on healing and even survival may be tough to take from our small-minded brains, hardwired by evolution to seem certainly at any cost.

When I talk to some people their eyes glaze over more often than not. None the less if you believe that hope is stuff of change, recovery and healing.

There is absolutely something to having an animal to treat depression and stress.

Believe and expectation is the key elements of hope this can block pain by releasing the brains endorphins and enkephalin, mimicking the effects of morphine. In some cases, hope can also have important effects on fundamental physiological processes like respiration circulation and motor function.

Studies has shown that during the course of illness, belief, and expectation- two mental states associated with hope have an impact on the nervous system which in turn sets off a chain reaction that makes improvement and recovery more likely. This process is fundamental to the widely accepted placebo effect. Which is created by a hopeful out look.

For example: say Pete was in a horrible accident and lost his legs. When he woke up at the hospital he didn’t know what happened when the to Doctors told him they had to amputate his legs because they are crushed in the wreck. He had only two options at that point he could have no hope at refuse to be rehabilitated. And stop caring about anything and die of depression and grief from what had happened Or he could have hope and try everything in his power to strengthen his upper body so he could move himself in to a position for further surgeries for prosthetic legs and walk again. And be at peace with what happened and move on with his life. One option leads to death and the other leads to life. Which would you pick? I would choose life. It’s a harder road no doubt but I would not want the pain that goes along with giving up.

It is less of a stretch to contemplate the link between hope and emotional well being. Have you ever met a happy hopeless person?

Hope does not just involve a mind to body connection, where neural input about singles physical condition served as a moderator of positive and negative emotions.

Training The Brain To Stress Less

Hope may buffer us from stress, anxiety, and the effects of negative life events. A study of workers showed over time suggest that hopeful employee experience more we’ll-being. Hope promotes healthy behavior including fruits and vegetable consumption, regular exercise, safe sex practices, and quitting smoking.

Therefore, hope for the future is clearly linked with daily habits the support health and prevent disease.

Hopeful people conjure a vision that sustains them, which causes them to show up for the hard work and accepts setbacks.

So if you make an investment in the future that pays off in the present in the way we eat, exercise, conserves energy, take care of yourself and stick to you plan.

Be Thankful For Everything- Even The Bad Things.

Today is November 1st, I told you I was going to start a November Blessing to uplift you.

November 1st- I am thankful for my friends. Every Sunday we have a potluck at one of our homes and talk about our week and our great Lord.

Get yourself a jar, a bowl, Or even a ziplock bag. Every night before you go to sleep. Thinks about one thing you are thankful for. It can be a friend stopping by that brought you joy and made you smile.

Our American Thanksgiving is celebrated in November. This is when most Americans celebrate what we are thankful for throughout the year.

We all know we need to show our gratitude for what we are blessed with. But what does it mean to truly show gratitude?

When we think about being thankful. You are probably like me your thoughts immediately jump to all that’s exciting in your life. From belongings, experience, to relationships, the vast majority of us tend to focus solely on the good when we hear the word gratitude.

But would about the bad! What about learning to be thankful for everything in life- even the things that are less that ideal?

Being grateful isn’t just about reflecting on the good in life is an important piece of being grateful, it is just as important to be grateful for the bad. The negative in our life as well. The negatives I life have helped us shape us into who we are today must as much as the good in life has.

I have had a lot of negative things happen in my life. I am thankful for it because it made me the strong woman I am today. I have met plenty of people who have a great life with no pain or heartbreak in their lives. And I can tell you I am stronger than they will ever be.

The person who falls and gets back up is much stronger than a person who never fell.

Either way, it is good and bad experiences that we have faced over the course of our lives has helped us into who we are individuals while also helping to get us where we are today,

Can you be grateful that your families have moved to a different part of the country and now you are only be able to see them on holidays? Can you be grateful for a delay in traffic or a flight that cause you to be late for something? Can you be grateful that you got laid off from work and you have no idea what your going to do now?

The answer to all of these questions is yes.

While it’s hard to find the good in any difficult situations, it is possible. The delay in driving may have save you from a horrible accident in the highway. You can be grateful the your family is successful where they are living and that you are able to visit and catch up on things on the holidays. You can be thankful that you got laid off, no you have a chance to do something better. I know a man that was a big wig at one of the manufacturing companies. He was laid off because of cuts in the companies budget. His dream was always to be a police officer. Getting laid off gave him that chance to achieve his dream. Negative situations can be blessings. You just don’t see it when it happens.

Life isn’t just about being grateful for the good, it is about being grateful for the bad because even the bad in life is still a gift. Every bad situation teaches us something. When faced with a bad situation the first thing I do is ask myself what does God want to learn in this situation? Go through the situation thinking of it as a learning situation, not a horrible thing that is happening right now.

All of the bad that you may have experienced helps us put into perspective how good the good things truly are.

If you haven’t have pain and heartbreak, how would know what the good in life feels like! The good would just become a new normal, and we would become expecting of only good things in life instead of cherishing it.

We are who we are today because of each experience that we have endured up to this point in your life good and bad. It could be fighting a mental illness that had taught you how to finally love yourself. It could be a loss of a job, but that experience finally gave you a reason to pursue you’re dreams or taught you to work harder.

All of these have negative aspects and they may has presented challenging times, but they still define the course of your life, and you wouldn’t be you sitting there right now without them. That’s something to be thankful for.

With Pain Comes Great Strength

We all fear pain. Pain comes in many forms and sometimes threatens to overwhelm our emotions and/or our bodies. Sometimes we mask it and find ways to make ourselves numb si that we can no long feel it’s affects. But this does nothing more that create further harm, further hurt. And further grief. We have to stop masking the pain and allow ourselves to feel, and begin to find strength. Pain can be a gift if we truly allow ourselves to feel it, to embrace it. I know this sounds crazy. I masked my pain with medicine that my doctors we’re oh so ready to oblige in. I was on pain medicine and anxiety pills for years and years. That only led me to more problems.

Rejoice in the pain, for you are finally strong enough to feel again.

I’m sure all of you have heard the phrase: When you hit rock bottom everything will change. The truth is that when some people hit rock bottom and just can’t take anymore they will turn to suicide which is very sad, when people think this is the only way out. It’s not. We all have the choice the change. Change our attitudes, or thoughts, of change lives.

I always tell people that come to me telling me what they have been thinking: there is no rule in life’s handbook saying you can’t change your thoughts. If you don’t like what your thinking change it to something better. Don’t sit and dwell on your negative thoughts.

In my struggles during my life, I have tried to commit suicide many times but then remembered what I was leaving behind, my father was my only strength in my life. I would often tell him, ’I can do this anymore’ he would tell me you can’t die because what would I do without you. We would try to convince me, but give me a reason to stick around a little longer. While my husband would tell me what would the kids do without, I couldn’t raise them on my own. There is always a reason to not commit suicide. And not many reasons too, change your thoughts.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Anonymous

I all think of the quote just when I get frustrated and want to quit. I tell myself I’m not going to let satan win. And I push through it.

If you have a disease yes, take care of yourself, take the medicine the doctor prescribed. Take care of yourself. Eat well, exercise when and how you can. But don’t let them give you an expiration date. Only God can bring you into this world and out of this world.

When I was diagnosed with cancer the doctor told me in one year I would be dead. Yes, of course I was upset for a few day. Then I decided I was not excepting his time for my death. I was not going to let satan win, not this time or ever.

Have the strength to change your thoughts, and decide to live a better life than ever before. When your only goal is to be a better person today than you were yesterday. Things begin to be better. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.

I so hope these things I write are an inspiration to you. May God bless you everyone.

The Importance Of Building Resilience

We all experience points in our life where we face trials, difficulties, and issues. Often we are good by friends, Be strong, you’ll get through this, you need become more resilient, but what does this mean, and how can we achieve it in a practical sense?

In essence, being resilient means being able to adapt and bounce back when something difficult happens in our lives. It is the ability to once again pick ourselves up after a trauma or painful experience.

The one who falls and gets up is so much stronger than the one who never fell.

Roy T. Bennett

I found this to be to be true in my life. I am a firm believer of what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I feel I have had hard times in my life but I decided to not let satan win. I chose to make to let my trials make me into a hurt, sad, adult. But let it make me stronger.

Our levels of resiliency will change and develop throughout our lives, and at times, we may find out we will not cope like anyone else, as well as surprising ourselves when we manage a difficult situation. Resilience is a psychological tool we implement to get back to feeling normal again.

As we all know, when we are in a weakened position where we feel things are going from bad to worse, it can be very difficult to do d balance, or go against the tide, or recover and regain a stable place.

Resilience is important for several reasons; it enables us to develop mechanisms for protection against experiences that can be overwhelming. It helps us maintain balance in our lives during tough times or stressful situations and it also helps protect us from some mental disabilities.

There are some benefits I’m listing:

Improved learning and academic achievement.

Lower absences from work and the things we enjoy due to sickness.

Reduced use of risk-taking behaviors such as excessive drinking, smoking, and use of drugs.

Increased involvement in your community and family activities.

A lower rate of mortality and increased physical health.

There are different types of resilience.

Emotional resilience may be one you have heard before. It is a simple term which refers to how able we are to manage the emotional impact of stresses, difficulties and trauma in our lives. From experience, I can tell you don’t try building a wall up to every situation that happens to you. It will take the joy out of your life.

There are types of resilience which we develop and need throughout times of our lives.

Inherent resilience, this is natural resilience that we are born with. This resilience protects us and informs how we discover and explore the world; learn to play, learn and to take risks. This form of resilience happens a great deal with children under the age about seven. This happens provided their development is not disrupted and they experience any sort of trauma. Like me I had a deep fryer full of oil spilled on me a d burned 45% of my body, luckily I have few scars. I was also put in the hospital for malnutrition at the age of seven for three months this I interrupted my inherent resilience.

Adapted resilience, this type of resilience happens at different times in our lives and is usually brought about through difficult or challenging experiences. We need to find strength in these times and rebuild our sense of confidence to once again to do new things. Adaptive resilience needs to be learned on the stop and can give us the ability to manage stresses and pain.

Learned resilience, this is built over time, we need to activate it through difficult experiences from our past. We learn to know when to draw on it, and use it during difficult trials, and stressful times. It is through this resilience, which we learn and grow and develop mechanisms for managing, and finding ways to draw strength we did not know we had in times when we need it most.

There are several ways that we can develop more resilience in difficult and stressful events in our lives.

Below are some examples:

Making lifestyle changes, practice being more straightforward and assertive with others. Tell them how you feel remember they don’t know if don’t to say anything. If you feel people are making unreasonable demands on you, and trying to get you to do things against your values be prepared to tell them how you feel and say no. Use relaxation tips, and take time to do the things that calm you down, whether it is taking a bath, going for a walk or listening to music. The most calming thing I do is going for a drive with my favorite music playing. Sometimes I feel more at peace in my car than anywhere else.

Develop interests and hobbies, and make time for them. I used to volunteer at an artists studio and she let me use her pottery burner to make some casts I got to keep. I’ve donated my time I go into nursing homes in the area and talk, or pray to the clients there it was a rewarding experience. Do be afraid to try new things.

Make time to spend with your family and friends. The best gift you can give someone is your time. Make sure you use a support network around you. Friends or family members that are willing to listen and won’t judge you. Access the sense of balance in your life, if one area is taking up all your time, then make some space for other things.

I can not stress this enough take care of your physical health. Get a good night’s sleep, develop sleeping patterns. I admit I struggle with this one. I sometimes can go on three or four hours of sleep, but after about three days, I crash and sleep for two days. This is not healthy physically or mentally. I’m working on this to regulate my sleep patterns.

Try to be more physically active and exercise regularly. I know this is difficult because all the gyms are shut down. Try a workout on u-tube, go hiking if you can. The more we are physically active and eat balanced meals the more you will be able to deal with stressful situations.

Don’t be so hard on yourself, find time to praise for your achievements a d reward yourself for what you have done. Most of all forgive yourself if you do not achieve what you wanted or you feel you have made a mistake, ease up on punishing yourself and try to remember that no one is perfect.

Going forward, there will be times in our lives when pressures mount or we experience pain and trauma during these times we will struggle to cope. However, through learning about ourselves a d realizing what we can and cannot manage, we will be able to develop strategies which allow us to become resilient, to these difficulties in our walk, and to feel confident in our abilities to manage. This is a process and does not just happen. But in each of us there is strength and courage we did not know we had.