If You Can Stay Positive In A Negative Situation You Win.

It’s what we see and how we interpret it- every adversity, every failure, and every heartache carries with it a seed for a greater benefit.

When was the last time you experienced a negative situation? Recall the situation as best you can and how you responded to it. Did you get caught up in negativity or we’re you composed? Can you see how the worry and anxiety draws you into negativity?

It’s only normal to be negative when a situation spirals out of control when we least expect it. A bunch of negative thoughts emerge and we find ourselves unable to break free from it. Our mind have an inherent negative bias. It has be a mechanism that has helped people evolve for thousands of years. However, it can become a hazard when it works against us.

Perception is everything because what you look for you will find. The power of free will means we can perceive something bad in a good situation and complain about it. Someone else will find the good in a negative situation and use it to their advantage.

What’s important is how we interpret what we see? Say someone took the last donut who was raised to leave the empty box on the table. You were raised to ask if anyone wants to split the last donut before you take off with the last on. Instead of focusing on the disappointment of the lack of junk food, try to find a positive. Since you missed the donuts today, buy the box of donuts tomorrow for work and grab the first one. Even if you have to stash it away for break time. Or treat yourself to an ice cream cone on the way home from work.

Life is Neither Fair or Unfair

We encounter many defeats in life. But you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, and what you can rise from and how you can still come out of it.

Has something ever happened to you where you were innocent and though you tried to rectify the situation it was of little help? This is when we may succumb to negativity because we have been wronged against. However, we have a choice and it may not be the easiest one to may, but it is the better choice for our peace of mind. Anger and negativity reinforce a despairing mindset because we feel transgression is perpetrated intentionally. Bad thing happens to good people sometimes. Equally, people believe life is unfair. Life is neither fair nor unfair, it beats on regardless of how much you try to change nature. We are not insignificant in the scheme of things. Rather things are bound to happen, it is not the situation that fuel our suffering but it choosing to respond that dictates whether we remain at peace or get caught up in the storm.

The question we ought to ask ourselves is: What do I need to learn from this situation? How can I evolve from what is taking place?

We can win every time when we remain positive in negative situations because life will pull us into disrepair given the chance. Everyone will tell you how difficult life can be but rarely do we hear stories of life being filled with joy and happiness. Even on social media it has become an outlet for moral outrage and injustices. But that doesn’t help anyone other than pulling us into hopelessness because we are drawn to a false sense of injustice in the world. What you read is bound to create your reality and for many social media is their only source of information. Make your source of information come from real truth. Not fiction.

Let Go and Let God: The way to do it.

It’s something I’m sure all of us have heard in our lives at one time or another.

When you’re in the midst of overwhelming, challenging… Let go and let God.

When things are out of control…let go and let God.

It’s a nice thought, right? Release all your struggles. Let them melt away. Allow them to dissolve into the Almighty power of God.

When I read scripture, I can clearly see that there are times when it’s appropriate to let go and let God handle everything. But I also see clearly instances where I’m called to do certain things.

In Matthew 6: 34, Jesus says, Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is it’s own trouble.

When we are tempted to worry about all kinds of future events. Will I be able to pay the bills? Will my children be safe? Will my family be healthy?

The reality is, I can control very few of these things. Sickness can fall on anyone at a moment’s notice. My work could dry up leaving you financially strapped. I don’t have the power to save my children, only God can do that,

This is why Jesus said in Matthew 6: 27, which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his life?

Worrying about the future does absolutely nothing. It doesn’t change anything, it doesn’t add even a minute to your life, it doesn’t solve any of your problems. It’s a complete waste of time.

We have to trust in something higher than ourselves. Faith and trust in God to take care of me, to provide for me, to handle all of these overwhelming circumstances, there is a real sense in which I’m called to let go and let God.

Be anxious for nothing. Cast all your cares upon the Lord because he cares for me.

I can say to God, Lord, I don’t have the power to control my life. But in light of this, I am letting go of the control I think I have over the situation. I am giving up on trying to figure everything out. And have control over my life instead I am trusting in God with all my heart. I know I can’t handle this on my own.

When it comes to worrying about life’s circumstances, we can truly let go and let God.

This may sound completely opposite of what I just said. But do not let go and let God when it comes to Prayer.

Even in contradiction, we are still called in the midst of trials, challenges, and heart-rending circumstances. We are still called to be active and Pray.

We are simultaneously called to let go and let God and still be actively engaging with God in Prayer.

In Philippians 4: 6 it says do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made to God.

How do you overcome anxiety? How do you receive peace from God?

Be actively, persistently bring your requests to God. By taking hold of each care that lays heavy on your heart and casting it upon God.

Jacob in the Bible wrestled with God and his Angels until God blessed him. We must not let go and let God, we must run to God and wrestle in prayer and remind him and us of his promises he said he would keep. We must fight against our sinful tendencies to worry and seem to put to death our sinful desire for control.

So, when our life is overwhelming. We can trust God and let go of our desire to control our lives and instead joyfully submit to what he has for us. At the same time labor in prayer and fight for holiness.

You believe in God for your soul. Believe in him about your property. Believe in God about your spouse or your child. Believe in God about your losses and bad debts and declining business.

Charles Spurgeon

Yes, I struggle and stumble and fall. Yes there are sins that I still give in to.

But nothing can stop God’s plan to make me more like Jesus until that final day when he returns and finishes the job once and for all. Even when I am faithless, God is still faithful.

Jude 24 says, Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his Glory with great joy.

I am called to fight against my sin.

To put to death my flesh.

To fight against the tempations of Satan.

The phrase ”let go and let God, ” highlights paradox in scripture. We truly can trust God to provide for us and care for us and help us grow in go holiness. We can rest in glorious truths. We can stake our lives upton them.

God will be faithful to do what he has promised. If we have faith and trust in him.

Filter Your Mouth! Understanding The Power Of Your Words

Words matter. Out tongue has the power to build or to destroy. One of our strongest assets Is the ability to communicate through many means but particularly through speaking. The words we chose, the tone and infliction can fill a person’s soul for flight or bore holes in their heart. We’ve all done it. We’ve all had it done to us. How do we think before we speak?

Words Kill, Words Give Life, they’re either poison or fruit you choose.

Unknown

When you enter a room do you bring energy or suck it dry? Watch people. Listen to their tone when they address each other. Pay attention to the words they use. Then turn that observation on yourself. How do you measure your words? Do you inspire others or make them flinch? Watch their reactions.

Listen More Than Talk

Some people process aloud, so don’t offer solutions too quickly. Let them walk through their feeling and emotions so they can untangle their thoughts. Listen with an open mind. Focus on what the other person is saying and hold your opinions. Once you have the entire story, only them can you offer to help. Sometimes they have to work it out themselves.

Don’t Be To Quick To Judge

Every individual has a story, take time to find out what it is. Try to see past the mask, the guarding and limited information. Try not to come up with advice or a solution.

The best advice I’ve ever had was from my father: If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all.

Choose Your Words Carefully

Eliminate from your vocabulary all the words that draw negative energy into your life and others. Replace these life-draining words with positive energy raising conversations. Capture negative self-talk, change the way you talk to your self. Use positive affirmations or quotes anything to stop the degrading internal and external conversations

When my son decided he was going to marry a girl I didn’t really like I was shocked. She had a tendency to be negative and rude to people, she thought because her family came from a higher income bracket she was better than anyone. She was sometimes abusive to others. Not even a year after they have married the marriage was having issues. She didn’t want him seeing his family because we were in a lower income bracket. I was devastated and so was he. I mistakenly start taking bad about her and actually praying the God would in their marriage.. Yson had to leave the country for his job and she left him so she could get a job in a different state. They were on rocky terms in the marriage. I was praying every day that there would be trouble and the marriage wouldn’t last. Until I realized that my son really did love her and went into a depression every time they would talk about separating. I stopped talking negatively about her and started Praying God would make them happier and stay together. Their marriage started to get better they were happier. They are married for 6 years now. While she still has issues about us, they will come to visit, but while he spends time with us. She stays away. While this isn’t the best daughter-in-law relationship I wanted. At least my son is happy. I was speaking poison into their marriage instead of happiness making the marriage unhappy and my son unhappy. Instead of life.

Understand Your Next Words

Listen attentively. Remember what a person says. Don’t interrupt, Don’t pretend the problem Isn’t a problem. Stay away from phrases like it’ll be okay, ( it might not be) or Get over it (it’s dismissive). It’s not the end of the world. Don’t discuss your problems as if they’re similar to theirs. Avoid minimizing their situation. Don’t change the subject, let them talk. Then measure your next words as carefully. Try to decern how your words will be heard or felt if you were them. Remember that not everyone responds the same way you do. I personally like it when people are honest and direct don’t sugarcoat anything. But, not all people are comfortable with hearing the truth all at once from the same place. They need it sugar-coated to deal with it.

Give Good Feedback

When someone has shared something difficult with you, be sure to summarize it before you jump right in with advice. Try saying correct me if I’m wrong I hear you saying- then summarize what they told you. Say it back to them nicely. Remember is they’re sharing something stupid they did or admitting they were wrong, you don’t need to remind them, they already know. Words like I told you so or what we’re you thinking does nothing to move the conversation forward.

After a person has barred their soul to you and you have successfully held your tongue. Ask for permission to give them advice by saying I have some ideas, do you want to know what I think? If they say no leave it at that until another day, but if they say yes stay on your single-focused takeaway point. It will be tempting to give them all your thoughts but that can be like giving a drink of water out of a fire hose for the receiver. Give them one idea and then leave it alone. Be able to set boundaries with them. Be a loyal friend. Give positive statements that keep your listener attentive. Then finish your conversation with you know they are wise and what are you going to do? Respect them enough not to solve their problem, but rather encourage them to think through a plan and execute it.

always be aware of your body language and what it’s broadcasting. Turn to the speaker, make eye contact and don’t be doing something else while they’re talking. Listen and occasionally respond with a supporting word or two.

Remember, it’s better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. And you catch more bees with honey than you do vinegar. Let your last words that we’re spoken be inspiring.

Ask For Permission

The Power of Empathy

Empathy for others doesn’t necessarily lead them to change their behavior, but it does help you to better navigate situations.

Often discussed as something that we might do (or perhaps should do) to be a good person, feeling empathetic helps us make connections with others and understand them better. It’s different from having sympathy for someone, which means to look at the suffering from the outside and feeling sorry for them. Empathy is feeling someone else’s pain or seeing through their eyes. It’s also a precursor to compassion, which is empathy in action-a commitment to do something that relieves someone else’s suffering.

Experiencing empathy can make your own life better. Empathy can open your heart, letting in more feelings, but also softening some of the tough experiences. As we build empathy for others, we understand them more and can connect with them differently, which boosts our resilience -the ability to bounce back after challenges.

After I left my parent’s house, I had built up a huge wall around myself nothing and nobody could break down. I had decided I was tired of feeling and caring about anything and anyone. It took about 25 years to break down that wall I had to break it on my own because I wouldn’t let anyone else near it. After I decided to choose God it took another 4 years to let him in. It ended up being the toughest challenge of my life. But, once I did things turned around 360 degrees for me. Total life change. I don’t care if anyone makes that choice or not I’m just saying it worked for me. God’s mighty power can teardown the emotional walls we build around ourselves. For me it took a long time.

The worst life choice we make is not allowing anyone in.

Empathy is about opening your heart. This can be very difficult, but our hearts can hold a lot. It’all about allowing the wall to come down and allowing all those feelings to come pouring out. The wall can only hold so much pressure before it starts to crack. We must allow the walls to crack if we’re ever going to heal.

Stop Negative Thoughts

To stop negative thought, focus on the thought, and say Stop to end the thought. At first, you will need to Stop! Out loud. Then you will learn to say it in your mind so that you can use this technique anywhere.

Saying things out loud improves your visual memory and the ability to see images in your mind. This is why this technique works so well. You are much more likely to remember things if you say them out loud.

List your most stressful thoughts. These are thoughts that distract you from your daily activities and make you worry more. You wish you could stop having these thoughts but they keep happening them.

Write down your upsetting thoughts in order of the most stressful to the least stressful. Start with your least stressful thought first. Practice thought-stopping.

Examples:

I’m always worried something bad is going to happen if I go to the store alone.

I just know I’m going to get laid off at work.

I’m so nervous about going to my next Doctor’s appointment. Would if they tell me something that’s bad.

Imagine The Thought:

Sit or lie down in a private place so you can say Stop! out loud and not feel self-conscious. Close your eyes, imagine a situation in which you might have this stressful thought. Allow yourself to have this stressful thought. Allow yourself to focus on that thought.

Stop The Thought.

Startling yourself is a good way to interrupt the thought.

Set a timer, watch, or alarm for 3 minutes. I look at myself in the mirror. Focus on the unwanted thought. When the alarm or timer goes off shout Stop! Clapping your hands or snapping your fingers when you say Stop! Are cues to stop thinking. Empty your mind, and try to keep it empty for 30 seconds. If the negative thought comes back during that time shout Stop again. You can record yourself hearing your own voice telling you to stop helps strengthen your commitment to getting rid of the unwanted thought.

Practice the steps 1-3 until the thought goes away on command. Do these again but this time interrupt the thought by saying the word stop! in a normal voice.

After the normal voice is able to stop the upsetting thought, try whispering Stop. Over time, you can just imagine hearing stop inside your mind. At this point, you can stop upsetting thoughts whenever and wherever it occurs.

General Sense Of Right and Wrong

Most real people, in contrast, have a conscious. Not only do they have a general sense of right and wrong, but they also under how their actions affect others. When a person’s conscious is telling them to do or not to do- something they experience through emotions.

Your conscience and your’re conscious are two different things. Your conscience is part of your personality that helps you determine right and wrong. It is what makes you feel guilty when you do something bad or good, when you do something kind.

The conscience is a part of your ego that contains information about what is viewed as bad or negative by your parents and by society, all the values you learned and absorbed during your upbringing. The conscience emerges over time, as you absorb information about what is considered right and wrong by your caregivers, your peers, and the culture in which you live.

Your conscious, on the other hand, is your awareness of yourself and the world around you. It means being aware and awake. The conscious mind includes everything inside your awareness which includes thing like perceptions, sensations, feelings, thoughts, and memories.

Even though Conscience and Conscious are two different things, they are related to one another.

While conscience and conscious are often confused. An easy way to learn the difference is: Your conscious is your awareness of yourself and the world around you while your conscience is your ability to distinguish between right and wrong. Your conscious allows you to behave in this world, while your conscience in the world in morally and socially acceptable ways.

How To Believe In Yourself In The Face Of Self-doubt.

You know what that voice in your head always says. You can’t do it. You’ll never be good enough. You’re going to fail. Over and over. The same voice.

The voice taunts you whenever you set a goal. It criticizes you when life gets difficult. It eats you down when you struggle to stand up against it’s repeating commentary.

You know you shouldn’t let self-doubt bother you, but it’s a sneaky little creature. Sometimes, you just can’t contain it and it slips past your barriers.

We all have that voices that were trying to keep under control.

And self-doubt is greedy. When it’s loose it devours your confidence, strips logic. And reason from your mind, and steals happiness form your heart. In return it leaves you with only fear and insecurity.

You try to remove self-doubt by forcing yourself to think positive, which doesn’t work as well as you think it should.

The more you fight self-doubt, the more it fights back. However, with self-knowledge and understanding, you can use self-doubt to your benefit.

A story about crushing dreams and being realistic. During my childhood I listened to a lot of music, it was the only thing I had to turn to during tough situations. At some point in my life I had decided that I wanted to become a professional singer. I could travel to different places and be an inspiration to people. But, there were always people telling me I couldn’t do it it was a unrealistic dream or that I was just plain stupid for wanting to do it.

As life goes, adults always seem right. And by adulthood my dream was snuffed out.

Singing is nice but not necessary. I’ll never be as good as real professionals anyway. All I ever did was sing along with songs on the radio, and took choir in school.

For years I stopped myself before I even tried because I was afraid.

I was afraid of what people would say. I was afraid that everyone would hate my voice. I was afraid of failing or messing up on the notes.

When fear grabs you, your dreams feel forever out of reach. But it doesn’t stop there. If left unchecked, the infectious bite of fear and self-doubt can spread. You unconsciously start questing your knowledge and abilities in everything you do. And if your like me I desperately looked for a cure.

One day I realized that try g to beat out my self-doubt wouldn’t rebuild my confidence.

If I wanted to believe in myself, I needed to face my self-doubt and be willing to take care of it. I began looking at self-doubt head on. If the self-doubt was there I was going to ignore the sneaky little critter, and take on what I wanted to do.

I had imagined this sneaky little green creature running around in my head sucking all my hopes and dreams out of me.

My dream of being a professional singer took second place. Now I sing in the choir at the church and sing karaoke.

Life happened and I moved on, but I never gave up on singing.

Actually, that little creature was a fearful, angry, and lost creature crying for help.

Like fear, joy, and sadness, doubt is part of human nature, and it needs understanding. If you want to improve yourself, you need to tame your self-doubt not fight with it.

This means paying attention to how you react to things, understanding the root of your insecurities, and take steps to address your fears one by one.

Self-doubt doesn’t have to be as monstrou. As we make it out to be. It’s all about perspective.

Identify and ease your doubts.

Learning how to recognize when your self-talk takes a turn for the worse is crucial. When you hear yourself saying I can’t or don’t know how or what if a red flag should be up.

Instead of telling yourself, I can’t say I can’t yet but I’m working on it.

Or if you start wondering would if I fail say then I’ll try again.

Doing this transforms a negative situation into an opportunity for growth. In the end, it’s about giving yourself a chance.