How To Show Up For Your Life

A while back I rolled my eyes at this thinking that statement doesn’t apply to me at all. Now I say this as a reminder about how I want to live my life.

About four years ago it hit me that I was living on autopilot.

I was complacent in my health, my relationships, my home, in everything. I was just letting life happen to me. Then I complained about how crappy it was.

Why was I stuck on autopilot?

I never opened my eyes to my responsibility to be the guide in my life. I just was going through the motions. Fixing breakfast, getting my husband and children out the door, cleaning up the house, running errands, grocery shopping and the like. The autopilot was easy because it was familiar, it was comfortable.

The cost of autopilot living

When we are on autopilot we are asleep to where we have control in our live. We go through the motions without really feeling anything. How can we use this control to build up our lives we want to live.

We live on default we spend our daily lives in a cycle of voiding pain and seeking pleasure. It’s the easiest way to get through the day.

We make decisions every day to stay comfortable, but in this comfort,we are not really pursuing the life we crave, the things that would make our life fruitful. We aren’t taking action that we feel deeply proud of. We are just getting through the day.

We aren’t doing much to feel deep satisfaction.

We aren’t feeling happy

Here is where we have let ourselves down, we think that it is normal to always be happy. We think something is wrong with us if we’re unhappy or those around us are unhappy.

When we feel unhappy about feeling unhappy we double down on unhappiness. At this point, most of us turn to little ways to make us feel better and avoid feeling that ick feeling. We turn to the nearest available indulgence, a easy hit. We turn to food, drink, social media, complaining, judging, and shopping.

I have to admit shopping is my pet peeve. If I’m feeling ick, I go clothes shopping and it makes me happy for a little while.

What do we turn to make us feel better and more comfortable? Is it serving us? Is it life giving or, ultimately making our lives harder?

We might be choosing ways of seeking comfort that are actually making us more uncomfortable in the long run. Habits, addictions, sneak eating in the pantry, pulling away from others. These things do not make our lives better, the usually make them harder.

Living a life that fulfills us feels authentic, and life giving is an uncomfortable thing to get. In my experience, it is uncomfortable to muster up bravery, to make hard decisions, to make a commitment rather that being in comfort and do the hard work rather than looking for the easy way out.

Avoiding discomfort keeps us stuck which can sometimes be more painful that experiencing the discomfort itself.

What happens when we keep avoiding the discomfort of showing up for our life?

We tend to tune out our emotional self and lose touch with how we are feeling and base our happiness on our children or people around us, if they are happy then we must be happy. But, then we wonder why others tune us out.

We can develop a low tolerance for we are really feeling, “I shouldn’t be unhappy every one around me is happy.” We tend to numb out our negative feelings which can cause bad habits we feel shame over.

We spend a lot of energy avoiding negative feelings and it burns us out which makes us feel crappier. This can go on for years until we just cannot take any more. We have stuffed those crappy feeling down inside of us, until we are so full of negativity sooner our later it has to come out.

We just kinda stop showing up for life because it isn’t happy and we are so bummed out that our life isn’t what we want it to be. we stop caring about ourselves, we feel as though it can’t go on.

Over the years, I’ve learned to practice being uncomfortable. I’ve taken positions that I’ve not felt sure about, I’ve started speaking in church, I’ve talked on radio stations about organizations I’m involved with. That I was to uncomfortable with before. I’ve put myself out there.

I wanted to live my life as it was, negative and uncomfortable feeling and all rather than living a comfortable life.

Pay attention to your life and how your feeling. Negative and positive. Step out of your comfort and head to the uncomfortable place. Live your life and feel your feelings as you were meant to.

Make a list of the things you tried to avoid or have avoided because they make you uncomfortable. Then when an opportunity comes jump on it.

Using Time For God More Wisely

It’s true we all have the same number of minutes in a day. The question is, how will we use them?

Most people today are either too busy or not busy enough. Either our schedules are so hectic we can’t get everything done, or else we are bored and restless, constantly looking for something to amuse us. We are the most frantic generation in history and also the most entertained. The Bible, however, tells us that both extremes are wrong.

We can’t always choose how to use our time, of course; sometimes our circumstances control us. Single mothers are struggling to survive every day. Disability, illness, unemployment or retirement may keep us from doing what we once did and make us feel useless and only killing time. But even if circumstances control our time, we can still control our attitude with Gods help. He can also help us gain more control over our time and begin to use it in new ways.

How can we use our time wisely?

Here are some steps that I’ve found helpful.

First, see each day as a gift from God.

Instead of seeing each day as a burden, see it instead as another opportunity God has given you to serve Him. Time isn’t inexhaustible, nor can we assume we’ll always have more; someday our time on earth will end. (David said in Psalm 31:15) The first thing we should do when we wake is thank God for the gift of another day.

Second, commit your time to God.

God gave it to you for a reason ; not to be wasted or mishandled, but to be used for His glory. We are accountable to Him for the way we use our time, and once more a minute passes, it can never be reclaimed. The Bible says, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” -Psalm 90:12-

How can we put this into action? It may mean asking God to help us schedule out time more wisely and effectively. It may mean rethinking how we spend our time, and then adjusting it to reflect God’s priorities. We may also need to examine why we’re so busy. (or so bored) Is what we’re doing really necessary, or are we simply trying to impress others? We can’t do everything, and we need to say “no,’ I’d some activity isn’t God’s will.

Third, set aside time for God and for others.

No follower of Jesus would say, “I’m too busy for God,’ but how often have you gone through a whole day without even thinking about Him let alone praying or read the Bible? How often have you ignored someone who needed your encouragement or help?

Why is this? One reason is because we regulate God to our spare time, but end up never having any spare time. In other words, we mentally list everything we have to do and put God at the bottom of the list. But the opposite should be the case. Jesus said, “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness.” -Matthew 6:33-

Finally, take time for your own needs.

We all need rest and recreation; God made us this way. Some people feel guilty if they take a vacation or even a few hours off, but they shouldn’t. I have a friend who always says to me “I can sleep when I’m dead.” This isn’t the case at all, he never takes time for himself, even on the Sabbath. He’s always doing something for someone. Jesus told His disciples, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” -Mark 6:31- If Jesus required times of rest, don’t we also! Someone who is chronically exhausted from lack of sleep or improper reaching is much more susceptible to Satan’s attacks.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

What you do has a stronger impact on people that what you say.

Oftentimes, please will say one thing and do another; the phrase actions speak louder that words means that people are more likely to believe what you do rather than what you say, there is a difference between the two.

It is much easier to lie with your words than with your actions because what you more strongly correlates with what you want and what you believe. You can say anything without believing strongly in it.

Parents must remember that they should lead by example. Children are more prone to feel allowed to do what the parent does, even if the parent tells them not to do it.

This proverb is more than several hundred years old. Some of the expressions of it are found in the Bible including this verse in the book of John, which stresses that saying you love someone is not the same as doing things for them.

“My little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth. -John 3:18-

Saying is one thing and doing is another.

A word spoken in a season is like an Apple of Gold set in pictures of Silver, actions are more precious than words.

In this modern day, this phrase is used to get people’s actions to line up with their words.

For example consider this dialogue between a father and his child,

Child: Dad, I promise I’ll be on time for dinner, and I’ll do my homework as soon as I get it.

Father: Well, that sounds great, but actions speak louder than words. I’ll believe it when I see it.

It is also a common piece of warning in modern relationships when someone’s partner constantly says that he loves her but doesn’t back it up with his actions. The recipient of these words is often warned to pay attention to find the truth of how he or she feel.

I was in a relationship where my partner would say he loved me, but when we had a dinner date he wouldn’t show up. Or he would say I’ll fix your sink for you, but wouldn’t do it. We need to be careful that we see what people do, instead of believing their word, watch people’s actions rather than believing their words. Actions tell you a lot more than words.

The proverb actions speak louder than words reminds us that what we do has more significance than what we say.

I Am What I Choose To Become

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” -Carl Jung-

It took me years and a lot of reading to realize this quote was true. It just would sink into this thick skull of mine. I was in a really bad place when it did it changed my life.

Often people get very upset when you even suggest that what happens to them does not need to determine how they feel.

People tend to blame, people keep repeating what happened to them over and over in their minds. People keep reliving what made them feel bad.

As long as we focus on what we don’t want, the longer we will feel the negative emotion associated with those thoughts and the longer we will remain in that unwanted situation.

What you think, you become, What you feel you attract, What you imagine, you create.

This is the Mose powerful insight we can have:

What you think, you create

So why are we still thinking negative thoughts, about what we do not want, about what we do not like? Its a awful cycle to break.

The longer we keep focusing on the drama, as in thinking about it, telling people about it, hammering on the injustice of the situation the longer we will stay on the vibration and the longer we will keep attracting similar things.

I wise old soul once said to me “I don’t have to live the sins that others have done, you are not their sin. Stop living like it.”

The only way out of a negative situation is thinking about what you do want, how can we solve the problem.

If we’re focusing on solutions, we are on a very different vibration than when we are thinking about the problem itself.

It often seems like a thin line between thinking about the problem itself and thinking about solutions for that same problem.

But there’s a huge difference.

Reliving injustice by talking about it keeps you on a vibration which will attract more of that injustice. Focusing on what we want and how we can get out of the situation puts us on a vibration what we will find solutions.

We cannot create a positive future by focusing on negative things of the past and the present.

We need to focus on how we want our future to look like, to be able to actually create that future.

When we envision what we want. We understand that once we start living by this very simple but never easy-principle, we can always feel good. Accepting where we are right now and think about what we want are key elements to feeling good.

The only way to stop feeling bad, is to stop thinking about the things that made you bad. The only way to stop thinking about negative things, is to actively steer your thoughts to things you do want. But we need to practice everyday if we are going to change the cycle of negative thoughts.

The minute you feel your thoughts are slipping towards your dark place again, don’t get upset, don’t be hard on yourself because that would keep you on that cycle of feeling bad just acknowledge it and steer away from your dark thoughts.

You are the only one responsible for how you feel. You and you alone decide how you feel by steering your thoughts towards positive wanted thoughts and situations.

Even when you feel like no body cares or loves you, you care and love yourself, right? So you are always loved by yourself and the God who created you. It’s our own dark thoughts that make us temporarily blind for the love of others.

Do the things, think the thoughts, that bring you to the vibration of feeling good the more good things will come to you.

Focus On The Good

I have learned to believe that our thoughts control our reality.

I believe that we can manifest pretty much anything in life if we believe in it, and truly believe in it, not just say we believe it.

This isn’t always the easiest thing to do or does it happen overnight. But, if we focus on feeling the way we would feel if you did. If you have X without having it, if we focus it might become a reality for us.

This hold true for when you want something we might not currently have, but when we already have that in which we desire. Don’t just forget about the feelings once you feel happiness, but keep focusing on it. Don’t lose sight of it.

When you focus on the good, the good things get better. -Abraham Hicks

It’s not to say that if you focus on the happy and the good that you’ll never have a unhappy or bad day or moment. That’s not the case at all. Life is full of ups and downs, and it’s important to embrace both the good and the bad. If we focus on the greatness, it’s just going to get better. It will continue to manifest itself to us in one way or the other. Don’t for once take it for granted. Focus and keep feeling those feelings. Fell the feelings deep within yourself.

As much as it would be nice if life was just full of only great moments, we likely wouldn’t grow very much if that were the case. We might not be able to fully appreciate the good if we ever never had to experience the not so good. We become stronger and wiser from the less than ideal moments in our lives, so when we fully embrace both the good and bad. We should fully embrace it.

It’s important to allow ourselves to feel the bad, feel it, accept it, understand it and move on from it. Don’t resist the bad things it help us to grow. And when the good happens enjoy it, embrace it, feel gratitude for it, and focus on it.