Why Are You So Serious?

Do people always ask you this annoying question: Why are you so serious? You’re not the only one. Why are you so quiet? This is probably the question we introverts get asked all the most.

A lot of the time people are just misunderstanding my resting b-tch face. Other times, they are picking up on our discomfort in a situation that doesn’t feel natural to us.

Even though it’s an annoying question that only serves to make us uncomfortable and even through it’s totally rude to ask others this question in that condescending way they do.

It is a worthwhile question to ask ourselves. It’s something I started asking myself this year when the universe gave me such a punch in the face. I realized that I was taking myself too seriously. I’d taken this whole grown up thing too far.

It’s was time to reclaim my childhood senses of play and wonder. Your inner child is probably itching to come out.

I have a hard time slipping out of serious overthinking. But I am trying to make some headway. I try to take a more playful approach to everything I do, including work, exercise, friendships, and my hobbies.

When I was a child I had to try and be a perfectionist all the time. Or I would make my mother angry. I hate working out on a treadmill all the time it’s boring to me, but I can dance around the house because it’s more fun.

I go outside and get my thought juices working through looking a things in nature.

Taking life to seriously is boring and I’m sure that we weren’t put here to be boring service people. We were here to be happy and enjoy life, but we must remember to never cross the line and allow Satan to enter in.

My Biggest Problem?

I notice everything, my biggest Problem is that I notice everything. Maybe you can relate?

Perhaps you, too, can relate?

Perhaps you, too overthink people’s facial expressions. You notice the slightest frown or look of confusion and you immediately start analyzing what toy said and did. You wonder, am I boring them? Did I offend them?

Or maybe there’s no question. Maybe your do perceptive that you can read people’s micro expressions like a children’s book.

A lot of people say that being observant is one of an introvert’s best qualities. I agree, but I also think it can be very painful, especially if you’re a sensitive introvert who picks up on people’s emotions, mood, and unspoken thoughts.

I definitely count myself in this group. But there’s a catch.

I see emotions as bight technicolor. I see people’s emotions as clearly as if the were painted bright colors or dull colors.

If you are the same way, you know that this can be an amazing gift. But if we’re not careful, it’s also a maddening source of overthinking.

It’s all to easy to not only notice people’s moods and emotions, but take res for them.

How many times have you picked up on someone’s sadness or anger and stressed yourself out wondering if it was something you did? Or if there’s something you could’ve done to make it better.

Constant Overthinking

The anthem of the observant and overthinking introvert is “shoulda coulda woulda.”

And it sucks.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

I’ve learned to stop overthinking other people’s reactions. When I catch myself starting to overanalyze. I dip into my tool kit of mental reframed.

I’ve had to train my brain to choose more constructive thoughts.

If I were compare my mind to a puppy, that’s at the stage where it’s stopped chewing on everything in sight and can be trusted to play happily on its own.

I have a difficult time, overthinking everything when I’m tired or around a group. It’s like every ones emotions are bombarding me at once, and I cannot engage in a conversation while my head is full. I know everyone thinks I’m quiet because I’m struggling, with words, but I’m quiet because everyone’s emotions are overwhelming.

Ways We Are Wasting Our Lives

Habits make up the routines that determine how we spend our time; and time, of course is life.

Our life is measured by time-from the seemingly insignificant second to the quite noticeable minute, and the obvious hour.

Just know that as time is ticking so is life.

What and how you invest you energy, time and resources will determine the quality of your life.

How do you know if you’re making your life worthwhile or wasting it?

Below are some ways you’re wasting your life without knowing it.

Holding on to past hurts

I don’t think there’s anyone in life who has never been or will never be hurt by others.

What makes a difference is how you deal with it, letting go of the pain or holding on to it and let it control your life.

As long as you deal with people, you’ll always be hurt in varying ways.

The most important thing is not to let whatever role control you.

Because you can never control what people will say or do to you.

You can only control how you treat others and how you’ll respond to how you’re being treated.

Holding on to past hurts is a sure way to waste one’s life without knowing it.

The one who hurt you has probably moved on.

Letting go is not a favour you do unto others but a way to secure your own peace and happiness.

It’s proof that you value your happiness above whatever anyone does to you.

Holding on to past mistakes and errors.

I’ve had my own share of past mistakes in life and I know it can be hard not to wish things were different.

But the truth is, the past is past and there’s nothing you can do about it.

You’ve have to stop wishing you’d done things differently. You have to stop wishing you could turn back the hands of time.

Because you can’t.

Learn from your mistakes and move on. It’s difficult, I know.

But keep trying.

Internet/social media addiction

So many people are guilt of this. I am too, I cannot lie. I spend hours playing meaningless games on the computer every night. I am working on how to stop doing this. I believe it can be done. We just have to stop.

Technology has shaped our lives in was unimaginable that we start to wonder how we managed to live without it in the first place.

If you’re in a public place, take a look around. You’ll see that a larger percentage of people are on their phones.

Family time our/ couples hangout is no longer the same because everyone is updating their social media statuses and checking Social media updates.

We are constantly distracted by the incessant notifications on our phones that steal our attention from the people that are dear to us.

While it’s inevitable for some people (blogger, social media influencers, internet entrepreneurs, digital marketers) to spend more time on social media, it becomes a problem if other areas of life are negatively affected because of too much time spend on the internet.

We need to strike a balance in life so that we won’t wastrel our lives while trying to keep up with every news and update on social media.

Keeping unprofitable friends.

If your friend’s make you a negative person, or they don’t value you in every way. Show you care and respect you. If your friends bring you down in every way, they are wasting your life.

Building a friendship takes time and effort. And don’t forget that time is life.

If you have negative friends around you, you’ll spend your time and effort keeping such friends while your life is wasting without you even knowing it,

Stay away from friends that influence you to engage in things that waste your time.

Procrastination

To be honest, this is a weakness of mine. I dislike doing some things so much, I find other things to do that I enjoy. But then I’m still aware that the thing I’m trying to avoid still needs to be done. We need to conquer procrastination in our lives.

Procrastination robs us of some life opportunities.

Procrastination is simply putting off things until a later time. This is a big time waster.

We need to understand that life doesn’t wait for anyone.

Plus, we live in a highly competitive world, if you want to achieve success, you have to give it all it takes.

No one will throw success in your lap, you have to go out and get it.

Procrastination will not let you do this, and before you know the opportunities will keep slipping away from your fingers.

Addiction

Whatever you’re addicted to that makes your life unproductive is a time waster.

As I addiction recovery advocate, I see every day how many lives have been wasted as a result of addiction to drugs and alcohol. Every time I walk into the addiction recovery center I work at. I see lives wasted.

I see many young and promising men and women who couldn’t live a normal life because of addiction to drugs and other substances.

Engaging in harmful behavior that ruin your potential is a sure way to waste your life.

Yes, it might make you feel good while your doing it but, for how long? Is it worth wasting your entire life over?

What addictions are ruining your life? Gambling, sex, porn, social media, addiction etc.

Get help and strive to live a better life.

Comparison

As human beings, we are always faced with the temptation to compare ourselves with others, especially in this age, where everyone seems to be fine.

Comparing yourself to others will only make you lose focus on your own life potentials.

Comparison can lead to unnecessary competition.

Is it worth the effort?

Lack of goals

What is life without set goals to achieve?

As a matter of fact, having goals to achieve makes life interesting and meaningful.

What are your life goals! You can break them into daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly goals.

If you don’t have goals that you can measure your life and effort with, you’ll surely be doing a lot of time-wasting without knowing it.

These are some ways to know if your wasting your life away. Now that you know, find ways to improve on yourself and be a better person.

You can do it!

Goals To Grow

Goals without plans to achieve them are simply ideas. In order to achieve a goal, we have to change our habits and patterns and regularly and chick in on our progress. We need to be working towards your goals on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis, but it is also a good to take a little more extended time every 3 months for a self-check.

Here are some steps to get going:

Step 1- Pray and still your heart. When we are staying still while praying we are more apt to hear God’s voice. (James 1:5)

Step 2- Set your mindset as one of honesty with yourself. (Romans 12:2)

Step 3- Be a does and build upon a firm foundation by remaining intentional with your goals and asking yourself a few questions that dig into your success and challenges. (Matthew 7:24-25)

Ask yourself have I applied my new year (2021) goals to my daily life. Example: Am I actually working toward these goals or were they just an idea I laid aside?

What changes do I need to make,nor continue to make, over the next 90 days? If you want something new to happen you have to Do something different.

Am I happy with the transformation I am seeing? If you are happy-keep pressing forward. If you aren’t happy, what do I need to do to feel more satisfied?

How do I feel about the areas of my life I set my goals-Spiritual, financial, joy etc… and do I feel aligned and balanced?

Did I keep my priority areas a priority?

Did I leave my non-priority items on the side lines?

Have I surrounded myself with a good team to encourage me in my journey? Am I growing and are they growing with me?

What are my next steps of application or change towards each of my goals in the next 90 days?

1- Spiritual:

2. Physical:

3. Financial:

4. Joy:

5. Other:

Everyone Must Learn To Be A Leader.

We may look to managers and visionaries as leaders, but each one of us has the potential to be a leader. These are the five key features that we call all work on so that we can each direct our own destinies:

S- Solutions. A leader looks for the solution.

O- Opportunity. A leader turns a liability into an asset.

L- Long-term picture. A leader has a bird’s eye view.

I- Influencer. Leaders leave an impact by taking initiative.

D- Direction towards a destination. Keep the end in mind.

Truths That Put Your Life Into Perspective

Stop waiting for life to be kinder, for the storms to calm, for your big break to magically appear, for your white knight to come around the corner or a fair maiden to come and fulfill your every desire. Stop betraying yourself. Stop betraying your dreams.

The Seasons Will Always Change.

Whatever it is that’s keeping you up at night, tossing, turning, sweating, or medicating, will eventually pass. You might be in a storm, but even seemingly endless storms do not last forever. A rainbow will always appear after the rain. The sun will shine again, spring always follows winter. Inevitably the season is going to change. Adaptability is what sets the warriors apart from the defeated.

Life is a cycle of never-ending chances, and you must process the ability to adapt to those changes. Do not be frightened of them. Do not cling to whatever season you are in, and do not try to return to a season of yesterday. Some seasons are only planting seeds and some are for the harvest. So taste the fruit and drink the drink of each. Whether bitter or sweet it, too shall pass.

Don’t Be So Dramatic; Your Problems Are Probably Not So Tragic.

I realize there are exceptions to this, however I once heard that if people could dump all their problems out on the street for trade, the majority people would want their own problems back. Perhaps you have a friend you talk to every day for the purpose of downloading your problems on. The truth is all of us have problems. Perhaps they simply don’t choose to download their problems on you. Everyone is faced with obstacles, including the girl or guy you are absolutely certain has it all. So, if your problems are a matter of consequences of your own mistakes, don’t be so dramatic. You are not a victim of a hex, but perhaps hexing yourself with your own mindset. The truth is, you are equipped to handle the hand you’ve been dealt. So, dust off your knees and start believing in your resiliency.

One Day, If You Live Long Enough, You Will Eat Your Lunch Alone.

You know that quiet old man you saw eating alone yesterday? He is so much more than a quiet old man eating alone. Perhaps he is a boy of 16 who participated in his baseball team winning a state championship. Perhaps he is a man of 22 who returned from the war only to find himself facing the memories of being shot at or bombs going off and killing his friend right in front of him. Perhaps he lives that nightmare over and over every day. Perhaps he is a of 30, who as awed at witnessing his first child being born, only to have his child die from cancer at age 3. He may be sitting alone eating with calloused hands, bad knees and an arched back, but he is a see of stories. He is a living, breathing textbook of history with the energy of thousands yesterdays still alive and well. So be patient and walk behind him. Silently congratulate him for having lived so long on the earth for such a length of time.

You Are Going To Die.

Someday someone will plan your funeral. They will select the songs that are played, lovingly selecting the most appropriate ways to commemorate your life. They are going to read through journals, go through your stuff, empty your wallet. Someday someone is going to replay your voicemails and long for just one more laugh or embrace you.

There are as many as seven billion people inhabiting the earth, however there have been approximately 106 billion people that have been born and died. That is 106 billion expiration dates with 106 billion tales, some tragic and some triumphant. That’s a lot of tears and final breaths.

Someday your life will contain an expiration date. All that you will be remembered for will be contained within it and your birthdate. Someday your life will be a collection of stories. Write them wisely. Write them in color. Write them so that the may bless others.

You’re Not Dead Yet, Though.

Stop waiting for life to be kinder, for the storms to calm, for your big break to magically appear, for your knight in shining armor to come or for a fair maiden to come and fulfill your every desire. Stop growing bruises. Stop being offended by everything . Stop seeing yourself as a victim. Stop wallowing on the floor, crying out and waiting for the clouds to divide The rain down with answers. Wake up, get up and live.