What Does The Tone Of Your Voice Convey?

The tone of voice is the most influential element of communication.

When I was going to college for my criminal justice degree. One of my professors was an attorney. I learned so much from him, but because I had young children to raise I was forced to quit my schooling.

We had started to touch base on voices and tones. I let this area drop, I wish I never had but, maybe you can learn a little from what I studied.

There are two factors in the sound of your voice to give meaning (conscience and unconscious) to the message you are sending. Some of the factors are: timbre, volume, speed, clarity, and projection.

Multiple people can say the same sentence with their different tones of voice and convey different psychological information. It feels hard they’re both verbal and non-verbal meaning in all of our words. Non-verbal part is harder to control, so it’s also more genuine.

You can also figure out how someone is doing by examining their tone of voice. Even if you’re talking in the language you don’t know, you can figure something out about how they feel and think by just listening to how they talk.

I will try and give you a few ideas on how to interpret with someone’s Tone of voice is telling you:

  • A deep tone of voice implies maturity and Generates trust in other people it’s also a common tone in advertisements.
  • If someone’s tone of voice is extremely deep, actually conveys a dark feeling.
  • A firm confident tone of voice make you think the person talking is distinguished and important.
  • Talking in a quiet tone of voice makes you think the person has major weaknesses or is awkward.
  • People who have a really high tone of voice don’t convey much credibility.

Voice is such a personal detail that now it’s being used as a way to check identity and let people access their technology. It’s also valid as evidence in a trial, it is just as it may be even more reliable than a fingerprint.

Breathing

The way someone breathe while they talk give us an idea of the pace you live there life at.

  • Calm: someone very balanced is talking.
  • Deep and constant: energy and activity.
  • Deep, constant, and strong: bottled up anger.
  • Superficial: a lack of practicality.
  • Short and quick: anxiety, distress.

Volume

This generally defined how someone interacts with them selves and others:

  • Normal: self-control and the ability to listen.
  • High: weakness, selfishness, and impatience.
  • Low: inexperience and inhibition.

Articulation or Vocalization

Vocalization have to do with someone ability to be understood and their desire to be understood:

  • Well-defined: mental clarity, openness to communication.
  • Imprecise: do you see or mental confusion.
  • Very clear: narcissism, tension.
  • Stumbling: aggressiveness, inhibition.

Speed

This will tell you about the emotional state this person is in.

  • Slow: lack of interest, disconnection from the world.
  • Fast: tension, desire to hide information.
  • Regular: holding back, bottling up, unnatural.
  • Irregular: confused, anxiety, comma breakdown.

Voice and Relations

Tone of voice is like a stamp. Even if the person they’re talking to isn’t an expert in this subject, they unconsciously receive messages from the other person’s tone of voice. And these messages with shape the image they have of the person.

Tone of voice also conveys the type of relationship a person wants to have with someone else. So if their cold and sharp, they want to establish some distance. And if they’re warm and sweet they’re trying to get closer. The tone of voice defines the tone of the bond. It’s also important to point out that a person’s tone of voice isn’t always the same. But there are still things that are always there. Those are the consistent patterns that will give you the key to someone’s personality or mood. A good way to practice self-knowledge is to record yourself in different scenarios and then listen for those hidden tones in your voice. Tone of voice is a great tool for communication and forming relationships. And that’s exactly why it’s a tool that’s so worth learning t use.

You Can’t Always Blame Yourself When The Pieces Don’t Fit

Their are people who will feel like they fit anywhere. Sometimes, no matter what we do, choose, or say, or chase, the pieces don’t fit.

You can give all you have to a relationship and watch as it slips away right out of your grasp. You can spend hours upon hours agonizing over a project that doesn’t turn out to be as miraculous as you hoped. You can do everything thing in your power to save, fix, or mend what’s been broken and yet, you can still watch everything crumble before your eyes.

Sometimes, things just don’t make sense, won’t become what you wanted them to be, won’t play out as planned.

You can take a look at yourself first and try to change your role in the mess. You can be inward-focused, working on the parts of you that may have caused bits and pieces to fall through. You can look to change, look to improve, look to yourself to shoulder some of the responsibility.

But you have to understand that sometimes you can do everything in your power I make something happen, and it’s just not meant to be. You can give yourself to a person, to a circumstance, to a situation, and end up empty, simply because it wasn’t meant for you.

And it’s not your fault.

You can’t always blame yourself when things don’t work out. You can’t always point to your own soul when something comes to an end. When defeat comes knocking on your door. You can’t always carry the burden of what doesn’t happen, of what didn’t work out.

Failure and disappointment don’t have to be your self-definition.

You are not responsible for the way the world moves and shifts, for how situations change, for someones choice to walk away or stop believing in something you still have faith in.

Don’t blame yourself for every little thing that doesn’t go your way.

Because life doesn’t move according to you, according to any of us. Life moves as it pleases, molding your fate, to the cosmos, to the higher powers we believe in, to the choices and circumstances and weather patterns and the universes crazy ways.

We are not in control. We cannot make every little piece of our puzzling lives come together. We cannot force people to love like we love, or feel what we feel. We cannot make each other understand the beating of our hearts, even if we fully show ourselves to them.

We cannot alter what happens in this life other than to fight for what we feel and learn, even in our brokenness, to let go, to heal.

You must be responsible for your part, but find peace in knowing there is so much that you cannot control. You must find comfort in the acceptance of what is, rather than forever seeking what could have been. You must look back and learn and look forward to hoping. You must learn to love yourself, even when your life is messy. You must shake off the heavy ness from your shoulders and be willing and open to starting again. You must allow yourself to heal and know that you are not always at fault for what happens.

Sometimes pieces of this life just don’t go the way we want them to, and perhaps in time, we will understand why.

Who Are We?

If we don’t acknowledge all the forces that drive us, including the soul, we will never under ourselves.

If we were to list everything we do in a usual day, we would come up with an inventory of many seemingly disparate items. From our morning regimen through your work day through retiring at night, our activities would add up to around 100 to 159 items. Now when we try to create a thread that connects these tasks. Here and there we may identify some continuity, but mostly we’d find separate, and disconnected particles.

Why is this a problem? Who cares if our day consists of disjointed pieces? Imagine that all of these fragments accumulate day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year. Our lives ends up being filled with millions of fragments. Can you be at piece with a fragmented life?

What then is the solution? How do we build integrated lives, a seamless flow of diverse activities connected to one another? The way to do that us to see your life as a narrative-one running story compromised of many different chapters. The easiest way to do this is to look backward: Examine the events of your past, strong them together, and you begin to discover how they have led you to your present life. By connecting the dots of your past, you will come to recognize the reason and purpose of your experiences, how they are part of a larger choreography leading you forwarding life to the person you are today. You will find a web of interconnection, which is not visible to the naked eye looking at the here and now. You might even see a few miracles.

Every detail of your life is part of your personal narrative- your journey. But, you won’t be able to see the continuity of your story if you only look at life as survival. You must get out of the rat race- not quite your job, but just give yourself a short time every day to reflect. You need to allow yourself to transcend the minutiae that cutters your days. You have to go below the surface and think, Why was I put here? What was my purpose? Why was I blessed with gifts (something not everyone can do). This kind of thinking will allow you to look back at your life through the eyes of your soul. You will be able to connect the dots- how each things that happened to you or that you initiated has contributed to your mission in this world.

Don’t Let Satan Take Your Sword

Reasons Satan doesn’t want you to know your power.

Satan is a ruthless adversary of God and the challenger of your destiny. He is okay with you going to church and reading the Bible, as long as you don’t have real faith that the power of God dwells in you and equips you do all things.

Satan wants you to remain ignorant of who you really are in Christ.

Fear holds you back Satan uses it against you to keep you confined. A fearless believer takes challenges head-on and lives by “I can do all thing through Christ who gives me strength.” Fear is such a powerful deterrent that when God sent Jeremiah out to minister, He told the prophet, “Don’t be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you.” (Jeremiah 1:8)

You would be a bigger threat to him

Why would Satan be threatened by a timid believer that is too afraid to boldly fulfill their divine purpose on earth? He wouldn’t. But, on the other hand, someone bold, unapologetic determined, focused, persistent, and tethered to the will of God, undermines the kingdom of darkness. Peter and Paul in the books of Acts we’re this way. They aggressively taught the word and the Holy Spirit’s saving and delivering power was on full display through them. This is how their ministry snatched many souls out of Satan’s grip. That same power is in you.

You wouldn’t be controlled by people

Many people are unable to fully embrace who God anointed them to be because they are bound by their need for approval. They let criticism, shady comments, and lack of support stop them. When you worry about man’s approval too much, they can manipulate your emotions, control your actions, keep you from hearing from God, and push you further away from your life’s purpose ( Galatians 1:10). Jesus had to rebuke satan because the enemy tried to use the disciple Peter to hold Jesus back from crucifixion, which was the Messiah’s ultimate mission (Matthew 16:23).

Your light would shine brighter

Satan loves us intimidation to get you to dim your light. He does this because he knows that when your light shines, others see your good works, and they glorify the Father (Matthew 5:16). If the enemy can tone down your shine, he can steal God’s glory. The more you shine while giving God all the credit for your glow-up, Satan hates it, because others are drawn to the Lord through you.

He couldn’t discourage you as easily

If Satan gets you to give up hope and quite pressing forward towards purpose, he wins. The Devil knows he can not stop the hand of God from blessing you. He can’t block the will of God. But if you let him, he can discourage you, lie to you, and make you feel like throwing in the towel is the only option. That’s why you must be like the woman with the issue of blood in Luke 8 43-48. Despite her struggle, she pressed her way to Jesus and got what she needed. There is a blessing in the press.

You would put him on the run

The Bible says in James 4:7, “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” If you ever recognized, owned, and used your power to rebuke satan, you would thwart his plans to wreak havoc on your life. By submitting to God daily, you are equipped and empowered to put your chief adversary on the run. The last thing he wants is for you to put him in his place.

You’ll give others more confidence

People learn by example. That is why the “Faith Hall of Fame” in Hebrews 11 is so effective it motivates us to trust God and believe in the impossible. God wants you to be a modern-day example of what his power looks like when it is working in someone’s life. If you begin to showcase the empowered lifestyle, you will help others believe they can, and you will give them the confidence they need to step into the power that are also given through Christ.

You are more powerful than you think. Don’t let satan’s roar scare you off. He may look and sound intimidating, but the power of the one who crushes satan’s head dwells in you.

Stop letting Satan take your sword of power.

Are You An Emotional Vampire?

Do you suck the life out of every room you walk into?

Here is a quick quiz. Answer the following questions and be honest.

1. Do you feel that people often don’t (or can’t) understand you or your problems?

2. Do you feel there are many barriers in your life which you have no control over?

3. Do you often ask for help from others and/or feel like few people are willing to help you?

4. Do you feel like you often don’t receive the attention or appreciation that you deserve?

5. Do people often complain that you don’t listen to them, when in fact, you feel like they don’t listen to you?

6. Do you feel like most other people have lives that are much easier than yours?

7. Do you fight with close friends and loved ones often?

8. If so, is it usually their fault?

9. Do people suddenly, drop contact with you with no explanation and refuse to communicate with you again?

10. Do you often feel helpless, like you have little opportunity to improve your life?

If you answered “yes” to more than half of the questions above then please read this post carefully. It could very likely be the first step to turning all the problems listed above around.

If you answered yes to at least half the questions the chances are you are an emotional vampire. Don’t take that the wrong way, it’s not your fault. It just means you’ve been hurt in the past. And as a result, you inadvertently hurt those around you, who in return push you away and hurt you further. It’s a vicious cycle. But you can’t help it, because you know nothing about it.

Over the years I’ve interacted with people who where emotional vampires. And I have been one also. So I’m a pretty good eye at spotting them.

Who Are Emotional Vampires?

Emotional vampires are called emotional vampires because they tend to drain the emotional energy out of everyone they’ve come in contact with. They are exhausting. They need constant attention. They always have some crisis or major life event. They are excellent at eliciting emotional reactions out of others and then feed off those emotions. Whether they are positive or negative.

All emotional vampires suffer from low self-esteem, but not all with low self-esteem are emotional vampires. Low self-esteem comes from several flavors and manifests, itself differently from person to person, and emotional vampires are people with a specific subject of self-esteem issues.

Emotional vampires exhibit 3 specific traits simultaneously; an excessive need for validation/attention from others, the belief that little to nothing that occurs is their fault, and the lack of self-awareness to recognize their self-defeating patterns.

Their are 2 dangerous combination for 2 reasons:

1. These 3 traits reinforce one another and make each other stronger.

2. They can often suck in and hurt good otherwise good people around them.

Don’t be mistaken, emotional vampires are not all losers. They can be the most charming, and successful people you meet. Whether they are men, women, beautiful, ugly, rich or poor. But they always create toxic relationships, both as romantic partners or friends.

They have an excessive need for Validation/attention from others.

They believe that their problems are not their fault.

They lack self-awareness.

Begin paying attention to what you have control over rather than what you don’t have control over.

Practice gratitude and appreciation for what you do have.

Show Appreciation for others.

A loving person lives in a loving world, a hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror. – Ken Keyes, Jr.

You Cannot Buy What Is Sold Old

I was reading a e-mail I received yesterday. That I haven’t been about to stop thinking about.

The e-mail was from a one Jonathan Cahn.

The Subject was “You Can’t buy what’s sold out.”

Have you ever been set on buying a certain thing but, when you finally have the time or money to get it? There is a Sorry we’re sold out message. A very profound lesson is learned by this; you can’t but what’s sold out.

Those who are corrupt try to corrupt others by buying them up. Spiritually, the enemy is trying to buy you out with seduction, lust, money, success, materialism, comfort, all sorts of things. There is a saying that holds true in the world. Everyone can be bought. You just have to find their price. Everyone can be bought. But, not if you’re sold out.

There’s only one type of person who cannot be bought by all the money or love and comfort in this world; only one kind person who cannot be bought by the enemy. That’s the one who is sold out to the one who gave His life to purchase you. And when the enemy comes looking to buy you out, you can say ‘Sorry I’m all sold out.

Where is the enemy keeping you distracted from being sold out to the Lord? The one who loved you, died for you, before you were born.

Mini Rules That Changed My Life

Have you ever thought about how many choices you make in a single day?

Here are some mini rules I follow every day. And it’s changed my life drastically.

  • Learn From One Teacher At A Time.

There are so many people out there telling us to do this, don’t do, that. Make a rule that you only learn from one teacher at a time. Whether it be someone to desire to be like, a family member or someone at church, some one at work.

It can be very overwhelming if you listen to many voices at once. You’ll end up not going which direction to go.

Regulate yourself, if it’s buying a book, or take a course. Or just picking someone to pick their brain. Go though the entire book, or course and then implement it all.

I chose the pastor at my church. If I need to talk or learn from him, he always is there to here me out, and I know he will tell me the truth.

He has taught me so much not only about God, but everything else.

Once you’re finished learning it all and implementing what you know. Then and only then move on. It saves a ton of money and reduces the feeling of being overwhelmed. I do this in my life and I love it.

  • Set One Goal At A Time

Instead of setting five goals at a time, just try setting one big goal. Going all-in on one goal and focus every ounce of your energy on something.

I thoroughly enjoy helping Veterans and active duty soldiers. I joined a Veteran Organization that was not profit. When I started out I was Legislative Chairman, I knew all the news and government programs that were put in place to help veterans and their families. After a few years of learning everything there was to know about that. I them moved on to being a Chaplin, taking care of the spiritual part for the Veterans, after about a year of the position, which was a task during the past covid we’ve all had to deal with. Just recently I’ve taken on being Secretary.

It leads to crazy good results and is far more motivating. Next time you want something, immense yourself in it. Don’t just dabble in a bunch of areas. Get committed.

  • No e–mails or Phone calls before a certain time/ No e-mails or phone calls after a certain time

This has helped me tremendously. While most of us communicate for work by e-mail or phone calls. This should apply to your days on as well as days off. For some the mornings are the busiest times of the day. Read and send e-mails later in the day so work doesn’t take over your day.

  • Reduce Screen Time (including TV)

Put a rule in your life that you don’t have screens open during certain times of the day. Example: no screens after 8 P.M, including TV, computer, and phone. You can feel pretty bad after to much social media, so limiting screen time is a great way to be present instead of escaping through someone else’s life.

  • Schedule At Least 15 minutes Of Alone Time Every Day

Depending on how much is going on in your life, quiet time every day might seem impossible. But, make sure you give yourself at least this much time alone where you can be by yourself.

Every night I take 45 minutes to myself. I long quiet bath with some soothing music and a glass of wine. It calms me down after a long hard day, and gets me ready for a peaceful nights sleep.

  • Journal For 5 Minutes A Day

Writing is one of the best ways to organize your thought. When anxiousness enters your life, write down what your thinking for a couple of minutes. The more you can write in a journal the more clarity you’ll have. The more clarity you have to solve the issues that overwhelm you.

  • Set A Baseline In Your Life

If it often feels like you don’t have times to do the things you want to do, figure out the bare minimum you can get away with. Set a exercise baseline, exercising can help you get more energy and help you keep on track with less effort.

  • Separate The Fake from the Facts with it comes to your thoughts

We tend to make circumstances mean so much more than they actually are. When something happens you don’t like separate out the facts from what’s making your life go crazy, not the facts themselves. Start watching your mind and how you think. Are You making your life crazier that it is? When you have a clear mind, you’ll begin to have a clear life.

  • Choose Your Relationships Intentionally

Many of us spread ourselves to thin. Instead of spending .230 seconds with 15,000 people, try spending more time with fewer people. Remember your life is only as good as the quality relationships you keep.

  • Ask Yourself These Two Questions

When you’re making tough choices and deciding what to do in a certain situation, ask yourself. What would my future self be like in 5 years? What is the end goal I want from this?