The Winter Blues

We have officially entered what for some are the hard months for some “The Dark Ages” the time of year when the sun disappears and the pale complexion of your friends reminds you that you better take your probiotics and your vitamins or you’ll end up with a cold to go with that pasty look.

I dread winter each winter because I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, it’s a type of depression that’s related to changes in seasons and begins and end at about the same time every year. Most people with SAD, starts in the fall and continue into the winter months, sapping your energy and making you feel moody.

In most cases SAD starts during the last part of fall, and goes until spring, it becomes very difficult for me. I try to stock up on food, and finish my holiday shopping in September, because I don’t even want to leave my house.

Here are some symptoms of SAD

Oversleeping

Appetite changes, especially cravings for foods high in carbohydrates

Weight gain

Tiredness or low energy

It’s normal to have some days when you feel down. But if you feel down for days at a time and you can not get motivated to be activities you normally enjoy you probably need to see a Doctor.

Some causes of SAD

The specific cause of seasonal affective disorder remains unknown. Some factors that make come in play include:

Your biological clock (circadian rhythm). The reduced level on sunlight in fall and winter may cause winter-onset SAD. This decrease in sunlight may disrupt your body’s internal clock and leads to feelings of depression.

Serotonin levels. A drop in serotonin, a brain chemical (neurotransmitter) that affects mood, might play a role in SAD. Reduced sunlight can cause a drop in serotonin and trigger this depression.

Melatonin levels. The change in the season can disrupt the body’s levels of melatonin, which plays a role in-sleep patterns and mood.

Risk factors

Seasonal Affective Disorder is diagnosed more often in women that in men and occurs more in younger adults than older adults.

Factors that increase your risk of SAD include:

Family History. People with SAD. May be more likely to have blood relatives with SAD or another form of depression.

Having major depression or bipolar disorder. Symptoms of depression may worsen seasonally if you have neofascist these conditions.

Living far from the equator. SAD appears to be more common among people who live far north or south of the equator. This may be due to decreased sunlight during the winter and longer days during the summer months.

Complications

The signs and symptoms of SAD seriously. As with other types of depression, SAD can get worse and lead to problems if not treated. These include:

Social withdrawal

School or work problems

Substance abuse

Mental heath disorders such as anxiety or eating disorders

Suicidal thoughts or behavior.

Here are some tips to help with SAD:

Along with treatment of your doctor.

Watch the sugar

I think our body gets the cue just before Thanksgiving that it will be hibernating for a few months, so it needs to ingest everything edible in sight. I’m convinced that the snow somehow communicates to the human brain the need to consume every kind of chocolate available in the house.

Depressives and addicts need t be a especially careful with sweets because theaddiction to sugar and white flour products is very real, and physiological, affecting the same biochemical systems in your body as drugs like heroin. Your relationship to sweet things is operating on a cellular level. It is more powerful than you have realized. What you eat can a huge effect on how you feel.

Stock up on Omega-3’s

During at winter I make sure I take these because it is confirmed to have positive effects. It is a natural anti – inflammatory molecule on emotional heath. One 500mg soft-gel casual can elevate and stabilize mood.

Give back

It is said “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service to others. The sense of purpose- committing oneself to a noble mission are acts the well-being on others are strong antidotes to depression.

Get some exercise

It’s difficult to go to the gym, because of the virus has closed down places of business. So instead go for a walk or run, exercise to a online exercise video. Getting your heart rate up. It is very good advice to spend 15 minutes or more outside everyday. You might as well spending that time exercising.

Use a light lamp

Bright-light therapy- involving sitting in front of a fluorescent light box that delivers an intensity of 1,000 iluminance can be as effective as an antidepressant medication for mild and moderate depression and can yield substantial relief for SAD.

Wear bright colors

Personally, I tend to wear black everyday in the winter. It’s supposed to make you look thinner. But the result is that I appear as if I’m going to a funeral every afternoon between the months of November to March. It isn’t good. Not for a person that’s hardwired to live in Stress and worry, the works very hard to stay happy and in control of my life. So I have to make a conscience effort to wear bright green, purple, blue, red and orange.

There is no research supporting this theory, but I am convicted there is a link between feeling optimistic and wearing bright colors. There’s a line with “faking it til you make it,” desperate attempts t trick your brain into thinking it’s sunny and beautiful outside-time to celebrate spring!- even though it’s a blizzard with sleet causing traffic jams,

Force yourself outside

I realize that the last thing you want to do is go outside when it’s 20 degrees outside and the roads are slushy is to head outside for a walk around the neighborhood. It’s much more fun to cuddle up with a book and chocolate chip cookies and enjoy being in your warm pajamas.

Hang out with friends

This seems like a obvious depression buster. Of course you get together when your mood starts to go south for the winter dreaming of when it’s going to be warm again. But that’s when we tend to hibernate for the winter. But, we need to be validated and encouraged and inspired by our friends. And with technology today, people don’t even have to put their slippers on to get support from anyone.

Head south

This solution isn’t free, I try to schedule my vacations during Christmas break or the last of January. It breaks up winter so I have something to look forward to in those depressing months.

Stay busy with a project like decluttering your house or going through clothes that no longer fit, find some place that takes clothing many people are looking for clothing during the winter. A friend of mine once painted every room in her house, during the winter months. I distracted her from her winter blue. Anything you can do during those dreary days to keep yourself busy, not thinking about your situation or moods.

Challenge yourself

I have found I can often be lifted up by choosing an activity that is formidable enough to keep my Attention, but easy enough to do when my brain is muddled. I’ve joined weight watchers once. You can also learn to scrapbook, or paint on canvas. Stretch yourself by doing small things that can keep yourself off the season.

Light a candle

Smelling the scents of a candle and watching the flickering flame some how just puts me at peace. During these months try to spoil yourself. Love yourself more. Enjoy spending your alone time on things only you enjoy.

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Thankful Project

November 12th- I am thankful that I am able to learn from my mistakes. Am able to have a chance to apologize and correct them.

The Trick To Making Yourself Charming.

From the first moment you walk into a room people are making judgements about how much they like you. But, there may be ways to improve your chances.

Most have come across them at some point – the kind of people who walk into a room full of complete strangers but then leave with 10 new friends, a lunch date for the next day.

Charmers. What makes these lucky people so effortlessly likable? When many of us have to work so hard at it? While many would have you believe social grace or winning people over is a art form.

I have a friend like this. She can walk into a room and strangers come up her and start talking to her. I tend to shrink in my shell every time we would go somewhere with her. I used to be the person that had no confidence, timid and shy.

But learning a few tricks helped me become more self-confident.

The factors that determine our success with other people, and the impressions we make upon them, can start even before we meet them. Research shows that people we meet often make judgements purely on how we look. People we meet often make judgements about us based on our face, in a second.

Making a snap judgement on something or someone might seem rash, but we do it all the time without realizing it.

The judgements we make about someone’s face can influence financial decisions. There was an experiment done where borrowers who were perceived as looking less trustworthy were less likely to get a loan on a face to face lending interview. Lenders were making these judgements based on appearance in spite of having the borrowers employment status and credit history right in front of them.

Of course, while you may not be able to change the physical features of your face it is possible to alter your expressions and smile. Putin a happy face. Believe it or not we can manipulate our faces to look more or less trustworthy, allowing us to change our features to make us look more trustworthy.

While something like dominance, as nightly related to our natural features there are things like trustworthiness and even attractiveness. I carry myself as if I am dominate over every one. But, if people get to know me, I am kind and generous, the very trustworthy. But, people that make judgements by my face never take the time to get to know me. So being happy and smiling even if I am having a bad day.

People will perceive a smiling face as more trustworthy, warmer and sociable.

One of the major imputes to these impressions is emotional expression. You can manipulate your face to become more trustworthy or extroverted, emotional expressions emerge -the face becomes happy.

For those who situations where our first impression has not been so good as we might haves hoped, there is hope- we can still win people over so the forget their first snap judgement.

We can override our first impression quickly based on appearance. If you have the opportunity of meet meeting someone again say something to them for example: You know they have a horse and like to ride tell them something like I seen you riding your horse the other night at the rodeo, you sure a good rider, what a beautiful horse. I just got my child a horse and I would love to ride too, I had a horse growing up. If you can impress someone they will often forget about what they thought when they first saw you, even if it was negative.

Channel your charm- This is where charm can come in. Charm is a like ability and how delightful it is to interact with someone. Interpersonal skills are becoming increasingly important.

It’s possible to train yourself to be charming. If you know who Johnny Carson was an example of someone who preferred being alone, but he learned how to be extremely sociable for the Camera.

But, most of the 98% of the time he went home after the show rather than choosing to socialize with the others on the set. Carson was an extreme introvert who trained himself to be a extrovert.

Raising eyebrows, So what can the rest of us do to be more charming?

The three major things we can do is when we approach someone that signals we are not a threat is an eyebrow flash, a slight head tilt, and a smile.

Our brains are always surveying the environment around us for friend of foe signals. The three things above should be done quickly. So now that you have made your entrance without talking to yourself or murmuring like a maniac.

The golden rule of friendship is if you make someone feel good about themselves, they’re going to like you. But, it on,y works if you show a genuine interest in what they are saying.

Imagine the other person is a character in a movie you like. Those characters become most fascinating the more you learn about them. You’ll find yourself observing and showing genuine interest in their mannerisms and personality. Maintaining eye contact will give the impression of interest.

I myself have a difficult time remembering names. I choose to connect their names to something. Like if their name is Jessie, I connect that name with Jessie James.

If all that fails, interest can be faked. Focus on the different colors in their eyes. By maintaining that level of eye contact, it will give the impression of interest.

Make empathic statements that might reflect some of what the other person is feeling.

For example if you see someone at the gas station getting gas, next to you. If they look pleased you can say, you look like your having a good day? He explains that he went on too say he just aced a test at school that he’s spent week studying for. That entire exchange made him feel good about himself.

If know more about the person you’re speaking with, you can be even more effective

I once was at a restaurant having lunch, when this man came up to my saying. Do I know you, I automatically was thinking he was going to put the moves on me, so I said, I don’t think so. Getting ready to tell him was married. When he said I think we went to school together. But you look younger than me. What year did you graduate? I told him, and he said I remember you, we did go to school together. I asked his name and he told me, I remembered his name, but not his face. He said I looked good for being my age. We had a conversation and when we parted ways. I really felt good for having a great conversation with him.

Charming people is often skilled at finding common ground with the people they interact with.

When you cannot find common ground, a good idea is to talk about current events. But stay away from discussing politics. If you disagree with the other person, it likely not to end well.

Watch body language, a key is to mirror the body language of the other person. It is a signal that gives good vibes to the other person.

Revealing details about yourself little by little, like breadcrumbs so each new piece of information acts as curiosity hooks to keep their interest going.

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Dealing With Change

Change is unavoidable and a constant in our lives. Sometimes we can control it, but other times we can’t. Most often we cannot control change. Our jobs or roles change and not always for the better.

Fortunately, there are ways to adapt to change and take advantage of it.

We have to learn how to cope with many things in our lives. But once we learn we can deal with change in a positive way.

Find the humor in situations. Trying to funny moment during an otherwise unfunny situations can be a fantastic way to create humor you need to see vexing problem from a new perspective. It can also feel better as well.

Rod A. Martin studied the effects of different styles of humor, he found out that witty banter, affirmative humor, can lighten the mood and improve social interaction. Just make sure it’s respectful. A rule of thumb is that other people’s strife in no laughing matter buy your own struggles can be a source of comedic gold.

Talk about your problems more than your feelings.

One of the most common myths of coping with unwanted changes is the idea we can work through our, anger, our fears, and our frustrations by talking about them a lot, this isn’t always the case. Rather than keeping them hidden inside that only causes pain and depression. Actively and rested,y broadcasting negative emotions hinder our natural adaptation process.

I was alway told to suck it up or ignore your troubles . Instead call out your anxiety or ignore our your anger at the outset of a disorienting change so that you are aware of how it might distort your thinking or disrupt your relationships. Then look for practical advise about what to do next. By doing so, you’ll zero in on the problems you can solve, instead of laminating the ones you can’t.

I once went to a support group for depression. I was naturally nervous but I learned ways to cope with change and met people who had similar issues and Sharing problems and ways to cope with change.

Don’t stress out about stressing out.

Our beliefs about stress matter. I the upside of stress, your reaction to stress has a bigger impact on your health and success than stress itself. If you believe stress kills you, it will. If you believe stress I trying to carry you through a challenging situation, you’ll become more resilient and may even live longer.

A good rule is when you feel stressed, ask yourself what your stress in trying to help you accomplish. Is stress trying to help you excel at an important task. Is it trying to help you endure a tough situation or a temporary shift in life? Is it trying to help you successfully exit a Toxic situation?

Stress can be a good thing – if you choose to see it that way.

Focus on your values instead of your fears.

Reminding ourselves of what’s important to us, family, friends, our relationship with the Lord, convictions, great music, creative expression, and so on. We can create a surprising powerful buffer against whatever troubles may be ailing us. I personally when I am stressed out, praying to my Lord, and getting into His word. It takes way my stress and I usually learn something along the way.

Spending 10 minutes a day to strengthen your mind with a simpme exercise writing about a time when a particular value that has positively affected you. It helps to go back to those when your feeling down or struggling with problems to uplift yourself. It helps us realize that our personal identity can’t be compromised by a challenging situation.

Accept the past, but fight for the future.

Even though we are never free from change, we are always free to decide how to respond to it.

The one thing that we must do if you want to have a happy life is dealing with change, and accept it.

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How You Treat Others Is A Reflection.

When you think of a hateful person, what do you think of? Someone with biting sarcasm and so much nastiest about then that they’re a human repellent? I’ve known people like that- so mean spirited it’s a wonder they could stand themselves.

Then again, maybe they couldn’t and that why they’re so mean.

When I learned this I immediately understood. But, remember it goes both ways. Regardless of the hatefulness a person acts. It is how they think about themselves that comes out.

Sadly, there are a lot of people who are full of hate and this makes them spiteful.

This was me. I had so much hate and pain in my life that it spewed out from every pore in my body. I had no friends, my own children didn’t even want to be around me.

Spiteful or Malignant:

This is what was come out of me: I was disposed to cause harm, suffering, or stress deliberate and very dangerous or harmful in influence or effect.

Ugly stuff right? It’s especially ugly when you think of a truth we’ve all had or heard for years. How we treat others say more about us than it does them.

I immediately start thinking about myself. How I treated others, how others treated me.

Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a a difficult battle.

T.H. Thompson

I couldn’t imagine that me or anyone else would wake up every morning and decide we’d want to be spiteful today. Yes, that’s what I’m going to do, I’m going so spread destruction, suffering, and hatred.

I’m sure people aren’t evil enough to do that. And there’s not any human Grinches walk around. Having a sour disposition that has crept up on them and they don’t even realize it. They have been a negative, cynical, pessimistic, and hateful person without even realizing it.

All bad habit’s take root in our lives. Overtime they slowly soak into us, they have become one of us. If we leave it to our own devices, they come to define us.

Thief is nothing worse that being considered hateful. Sometimes I think some people treat others badly because of the hateful seed deep within themselves,

Recently I met someone that needed prayer and support. I spoke to them and asked if they needed prayer and needed to talk. When I was finished praying for that person I gave them my name and phone number so if they wanted to talk they could call me. Immediately after we went out separate ways. Someone came up aa d said I can’t believe you were even talking to her. She is a horrible person. I in return asked them if they even knew her, her story, her pain. They said well No! They said I don’t know her I just heard they we’re. I told them I choose to love people and support them, rather than believing what some person said about them. I would like to get to know her before I judged her on what other people say.

Seriously there are people like this person in the would. Just because someone started saying something about someone doesn’t make it true.

I often wonder what is wrong with humanity and how such people could exist, just because a group or a few friends agree with a lie and keep spreading it. Doesn’t make it true. They’re hate will slowly turn to sadness.

Kindness, is like a boomerang, it always returns to us.

Anonymous

We have to face that for anyone to say such hate-laced words about someone they don’t know they are filled with hate and ugliness themselves

Whatever you let pour into your soul it comes out of you. If you put hate into your body, hate will come out.

A shout out to those of us who outnumber the Nasty Nellies who refuse to say bad things about a person because it was said it was truth by another, bring kindness and joy into the world not hate and destruction.

I try to remember that what people say is a reflection of how they feel about themselves. But, sometimes it is difficult for me to think they are acting out how they feel about themselves.

Begin today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight.

Extend to then all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward.

Your life will never be the same again.

Of Mandino