Powerful Ways to Stand up for Yourself in Any Situation.

Every day we make dozens of little choices that either benefit us by asserting our ideas or diminish us because we hesitate In making our views or desires known.

Sometimes it seems easier to go with the flow to avoid potential conflict, but the truth is that letting people walk all over you can increase feelings of stress and anxiety. And it might eventually lesson your feeling of self worth and play to your insecurities.

I did this for years, I had told myself nothing mattered anymore. I just dealt with what happened. And told myself I could handle whatever happened. The truth was I was so stressed out I was giving myself Migraines, and I couldn’t sleep because all these things were in my head constantly. I had given myself a stroke and a nervous break down.

Learning to stand up for yourself will help you take charge of your life, believe in your own power and emboldened you to reach for your dreams. The stronger you feel, the stronger you will become.

Here are some steps to help you Stand up for yourself in any situation.

Practice being transparent and authentic.

It might be difficult at times, but if you learn to express yourself openly and honestly, it will feel like a heavy weight has been lifted off your shoulders. So often, we hide behind a halfhearted smile and nod instead of saying what we think. It takes practice but learning to be authentic and open about what you are feeling or thinking is the first step. Once you get in the habit of making yourself heard without being overly accommodating or defensive, people will be more open to hearing you.

Take small but powerful steps.

If your struggling with being assertive, Stuart taking small steps to stand up for yourself. Even just learning to walk more confidently- herald held high, shoulders back. Will help you appear and feel more confident.

Here’s a Bible Verse I think of when I’m afraid to assert myself.

The Lord is on my side; I will not fear what can man do to me.

Psalm 118:6

Channel that confidence when dealing with others. This attitude can apply to all areas in your life. Feeling annoyed at the person who cut in front of you in line. Ask them to politely to move to the back. See an unfair change on a bill from one of your service providers? Call the dispute it.

When someone attacks, wait them out.

As you grow more confident is expressing yourself, you’re also going to have to learn to face those who want to over ride you. There will always be people whose personalities are set to attack mode. It’s important that you remain calm but assertive if up you feel like son is going to bully you. Don’t allow yourself to get frazzled or react with low blows. Don’t cater to them or allow them to intimidate you either. Walk the high road but stand your ground.

Figure our What’s really bothering you.

Going with the flow for the purposes of not making waves actually creates more stress and anxiety for yourself. Of course mustering the courage to face something or someone that is bothering you can feel scary. But facing the issues will empower you do make it better and diminishes the control it has over you. Remember, people can’t read your mind; if you don’t vocalize what is bothering you, no one will know.

Clarify first without attacking.

It’s tempting to take a self-righteous stand, especially if you are sure you are in the right. From your viewpoint, you are justifiably defending yourself against someone who seems entirely in the wrong. But it’s important to resist the urge to react with emotion. Instead take a breath and calmly explain your perspective to them. Avoid combative tones or accusatory words. Clarify exactly what you mean and listen to their response. Only then can a real discussion begin to take place.

I still have a difficult time with this one. I have a loud stern voice, so I tend to talk in a way that I am mean or strong willed at times. People think I’m Angry all the time. I am not.

Practice makes perfect.

Once you start getting the hang of what it means to stand up for yourself, it’s time to practice asking for what you want as often as possible. When someone says something you openly disagree with, or you feel pushed into doing something you don’t want to do, say something. According to research it takes 66 days to form a new habit, so stick with the new assertiveness for two months and you might be surprised by the results.

Be Deliberate.

Here’s a situation that many of us have found ourselves in sharing space with a messy co-worker or roommate who is a slob. You might have remained silent. It might be tempting to slip into a passive-aggressive behavior, such as angrily cleaning. Up the mess or make snide remarks. Try being deliberate instead. Tell the personals you are feeling without being accusatory. Be straightforward with your concerns. Follow up with a simple suggestion that can correct the situation, such as . If you can take a minute to tidy up your space at night, it would be a big help.

Stand up for your time.

Time is precious and limited commodity, and yet we often feel pressured to give it away when we have the ability to say no. There are times when you might not have a choice. Such as when your boss says a project has high priority But don’t let obligations dictate how you spend the hours in your day. You are in control of your own time. Push back when it’s appropriate, or tactfully disengage from those people or situations that submerge your schedule.

Recognize that no one can invalidate you.

You are incomplete ownership of your feeling and actions. Your beliefs, emotions, thoughts, and ideas belong to you. And no one else can tell you what you feel or invalidate your opinions. Likewise, if you seek to invalidate other people’s points of view, you are also sabotaging any chance for problem-solving or having a open discussion.

Fake it until you make it.

Learning to stand up for yourself won’t happen over night. It takes time to grow comfortable with being assertive. While you are In The learning stage, it might help to imagine that you are an actor or actress learning to play a new role.

Imagine that you are the most assertive person you know. How would they handle themselves in a difficult situation? There might be times when you swing from being overly zealous to being indecisive. Learning to stand up for yourself is like riding a bike. Eventually you will find the right balance.

Questions to Ask Yourself Every Day to Keep Your Life On Track.

Life can be hectic.

Most of us have our hands full just trying to keep it all together. We do what we have to just to get by, from day to day. We seldom stop to ask ourselves, “Why am I here? Where am I headed? What’s it’s all about?”

But it’s exactly this kind on inquiry we must do-and do often-if we want to live a life of purpose. It’s too easy to fall into a comfortable routine, and just go through the motions, while day turn into weeks, turn into months..

And beforehand you know it, years of your life has passed by.

Don’t let that happen to you. Get clear about your passion, your dream, your vision. Set specific, achievable, step by -step goals. Most importantly, take time every day to stop and reflect on your life, your progress, and the things most important to you.

Here are some questions to ask yourself everyday, to help you keep your vision in focus and keep your life on track.

Set Your Intentions in The Morning.

Mornings are the most important part of the day. It sets the tone for the rest of the day. Have you ever noticed how when you over sleep, and you have to rush around like crazy, you end feeling stressed and frazzled the rest of the day. Some people do that every day.

Don’t be that person. It’s essential to start the day off right. Make time to meditate, clear your head. Think about your life, get clear about what you want, what’s important- what you need to do to take care of every thing you need to.

Who are the Most Important people in my life?

Life isn’t just about you- your career and your personal goals. Real happiness is found in relationship, in deep, heartfelt connection to each other. This question #1 because your loved ones are mort important than your job, more important than money, more important than anything.

So keep first things first. Take time every day to remember those closest to you, and how much they mean to you. Make sure you tell them and more importantly- show then how you feel.

What would I Do if Money Didn’t Matter?

This question can really help you hone in on your passion, you purpose, your zest for life. What would you do today if you didn’t have to worry about paying your bills? What would you do with the rest of your life?

Whatever the answer, that’s what you should be doing anyway. That’s your calling. It’s why your here. You can make it your livelihood, and you won’t really be satisfied until you do.

What Steps Can I Take Today?

It’s wonderful to have a dream, to have a vision, to have long term goals. But a dream is just a dream until you make it real. It doesn’t mean a thing unless you act on it today.

So get real, get practical. What small steps can you take today? Write it down. Make a to-do list, an action plan. If you don’t know what to do, or where to begin- find out. It can be as simple as going to the library and checking out a book or looking on the internet and doing some research. But do something, at least one small thing every day. Keep that dream alive.

How Do I Want to Show up?

Sometimes what you do isn’t as important as how you do it. It’s great to have a plan, an agenda for the day. But now it’s time to ask yourself., “How do I want to show up? Calm, confident, caring, assertive, charming, kind, inspiring?”

The question can apply to any situation. You probably embody different qualities at work than you do at home. But ask yourself “ How do I want to meet the world today? Get clear about that, Feel it. Own it. Be it.

Where is My Attention Right Now?

This is one to ask yourself over and over, as often as possible. In fact, it can be helpful to set an alarm to go off at random moments, or use an app the when that bell rings, it’s your signal to stop and ask “Where is my attention? Am I here now, in the moment? Or am I daydreaming?

The mort you catch your mind wondering off, the more you will realize just how often it does.-and how little time you actually spend being in the present here and now, enjoying life.

What am I Holding Back?

Is there something that you want to say- to your partner, your parents, your boss or co-worker- but you just haven’t been able to bring yourself to say it.

Is there something you’ve been longing to do, but you never get around to it? It doesn’t have to be anything grand. Maybe there’s a cute guy or girl you have been wanting to ask out. Or a little shop you drive by every day, and wonder what’s inside.

What are You Afraid Of?

When ever you find yourself holding back, the obvious follow is, “ What’s stopping me? What am I afraid of?”

This isn’t meant to be a time to self-criticize. But the opportunity for self-awareness. Seek to identify our fears and hang ups, but don’t beat yourself up over them. Simply become aware of your internal process, especially the fears and doubts that stop from doing what your heart longs to do.

Awareness is the first step to freedom.

If Not Now, When?

This question is the final step in disarming the fear trap. Whatever is you’re holding back, ask yourself, “If not now, when?”

This question is deeper than it appears. At first you’ll probably rationalize, and make excuses. “I’m to busy right now. Maybe later, when I have more time. But you’re always busy. You’ll never have more time. Later is an illusion.

The truth is, the opportunities you let pass by today may never come again. So don’t hold back. Say what you want to say. Do what you long to do.

If you don’t do it now, odds are you never will.

Everything You Do.

Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It’s not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision you make. Period.

We speak out of our mouths what our hearts are full of.

Jesus

Never Discredit Your Gut Instinct

This Seems Dangerous.

Our gut has a tendency to let us know when something isn’t right, and it’s wise to listen.

Your intuition call upon every life lesson you’ve even had in this life and helps you make an informed decision. If something doesn’t seen safe, if you feel like it could become dangerous, don’t do it.

This Feels Right.

You’ll experience this a lot in your life. You’ll get this fee on a date, buying a

I’m a Natural at This!

I remember the first time I ever wrote a essay I was 10 in a English class. My teacher recognized I had a knack for it.

One of my regrets is not writing a book. It’s a gut instinct I haven’t followed. It’s been on my mind for years. I know I need to get started and prepare myself to deal with some pretty horrible memories I my life.

I Need and to Stop and Help this Person.

There might be a time when you see a person in need and even thought it won’t so anything to serve you, you just know the need help.

Maybe it’s someone walking on a cold day. Or someone who just got into a car accident. Even if someone has told you, don’t talk or pick up strangers. Don’t hesitate to stop and help if your gut is telling you to. You will be blessed.

I Don’t Feel Right.

If you’re feeling drained, depressed, tired, and sickly, don’t ignore it.

Your body has ways of telling you when you’re not well and need to visit a doctor. If your instincts say go to the doctor. You better go. When I knew something was wrong with my stomach. And I went to the emergency room. The doctor ordered a scan and ultrasound. Which told them I had a mass in my bladder, but I needed to go to my primary care doctor in 6-8 weeks. My gut instinct told e I’d better get there sooner than that.

I made a appointment and got in as soon as I could. The tests revealed I was in Stage 3 bladder cancer. The next week I was having surgery to remove a grapefruit size tumor out of my bladder. If I had waited the tumor would have grown and It could have been much worse.

Do you want to stress less, sleep better, and feel abundantly happier..without drugs or anything crazy.

Hatred is a Disease

The Destructive Power of Hate

I used to harbor feelings of Hatred toward myself and others. I so hated myself, I learned to hate myself when I was a child. Consistently being told you are a mistake, a horrible child and all the other things my mother said to me. I couldn’t help but hate myself. I hated my mother for the way she treated me. It took many years to learn not to hate.

Poison isn’t always something you eat or drink it can also be an emotion. And hate is one of them eating you up inside and causing destruction. Do you have hate in your life? Read more to control it before it damages you or your love ones.

Hate is a very strong emotion. This mental venom can pollute your spirit, poison your soul and seep into all the relationships that surround you. Anyone who has found themselves wrapped up in the arms of hate knows how damaging and mind consuming it can become. Even the word carries power, particularly if it comes from a friend, a family member, or a child.

While hate can be directed at almost anything- animals, food, jobs, movies. The people especially in today’s world. The most destructive is hatred toward other people.

I want to you to ask yourself these questions. Does hate have a place in my life? Do I harbor any feelings of hatred toward myself or anyone else? If you do, I want you too address this negative feeling before it comes sometimes much more dangerous. Hate, when left unchecked, will drain your spirit, tarnish your soul and darken your days.

There are two kinds of hate-the kind that’s turned outward (explosion), and the kind that’s turned inward (implosion). Both of these will eat you up inside, so if you find yourself living with hate, perhaps today is a good day for a little wellness housecleaning.

Hating Others.

Hate turned outward is both dangerous and ugly. It can motivate violent crime and damaging behaviors. As in the violent rioting that’s going on right now in the United States. The learned hatred of racism. Their perceived rejection fueled by desperation, insanity and carnage that cost many people their lives.

At the heart of all hatred is blame, and this is particularly true for hatred outward. When one feels like they’ve been seriously wronged or victimized by someone, their discontent and anger carries with it the potential seeds of hatred.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

Buddha

I like this quote because the antidote for hatred is definitely within your grasp. The hand that slaps also has the potential to become the hand that comforts.it all depends how you choose to use that hand. The points also made in the antidote in origin. A grandfather talking to his young grandson tells the boy about the two wolves inside him, struggling with each other. The first is the wolf of peace, love, kindness. The other wolf of fear, greed, and hatred. “Which wolf will win, grandfather?” Asks the young boy. “Which everyone you feed” is the reply.

I couldn’t agree more with these two segments. The more you hold onto , the more likely it is that the hot coal of them emotion will burn you. And the more you feed it, the stronger it becomes.

However, you can control the feelings that can lead to hatred. I’ve developed a different meaning for “hate”- an acronym of the mindset you need to counter this destructive emotional assault on your mind and body. Simply think of H.A.T.E. This way: Healing Aggressive Thoughts Emotionally.

When you begin to feel hatred thoughts, stop, take a deep breathe, let it out very slowly and repeat this process for four or five repetitions.

Consciously challenge irrational hateful thoughts.

Replace those hateful irrational thoughts with calmer rational thoughts.

If your feelings are directed at another person limit contact with this person.

Employ a “distraction strategy” to refocus your mind- watch a movie, go for a walk, read a book, exercise.

Are You the Object of Hate?

If you’ve ever been the target of hatred, you know how upsetting, frightening and emotional it can be. Actually, since the overall effects of hatred are so physically harmful and emotionally devastating. Perhaps we should also think of hatred as another type of H-bomb.

As you may recall, real H-bombs (hydrogen bombs) generate most of the energy they produce from something called nuclear fission is also what ignites the explosion of a nuclear weapon.

In a similar way, hatred produces energy for destructive power. And the fission- what actually ignites the explosion- is driven by the entente hostility, fear, anger, or sense of injury one feels. When you’re confronted by this kind of extreme dislike, you basically have two choices regarding your response: you can either sink to the hater’s level and toss a few H-bombs of your own, or you can recognize this as a character flaw and not respond.

To often, we turn our feelings of dislike on ourselves, which is equally damaging. Hate turned inward can crush your spirit and impact your health. Take overeating, for example, which many say, some is a symptom of self hate. By compulsively overeating to make yourself sick, putting on unhealthy weight and contributing to a feeling of unattractiveness- all of these forms of self-punishment.

Overeating however, is the only way that self-hatred manifests, engages. Risky behaviors and cutoff those who love them.

Self-haters are driven to punish themeselves for a variety of reasons, such as feeling insecure, guilty, unattractive, unproductive or self-critical. These negative, internal feelings shape and give life to the destructive impulses of self-hatred.

Ultimately, self hatred is characterized here dislike for oneself and, often, low self-esteem. What’s particularly difficult about self-loathing is that can avoid the hater.