Shifting Focus

We all want to succeed. And one path to success is identifying the habits that can help us on our journey.

These days people look for quick fixes. Some see a successful, happy individual and wonder- how do they do it?

First of all there are no quick fixes to anything that brings success, and happiness. It take time and you have to be able to shift your focus and embrace some changes. Any quick fixes in our journey through life are just band-aids that yield short term solutions that don’t address the underlying conditions.

Theway we see the problem is usually the problem. We must allow ourselves to undergo shifts to change ourselves fundamentally and alter our attitudes and behaviors on the surface in order to achieve true change.

We should focus on these habits.

  • #1. Be proactive
  • #2. Begin with the end in mind.
  • #3. Put first thing first
  • #4. Think your going to win
  • #5. Seek first to understand. Then to be understood.
  • #6. Sharpen the saw.

Habits 1, 2, and 3 is focused on self-mastery and moving from dependence to independence.

Habits 4, 5, and 6 is focused on developing collaboration and communication skills, and moving from independence to interdependence.

Habit 7 is focused on continuous growth and improvement and embodies all the other habits.

We are in charge. We choose which values to live our lives by. Use this self-awareness to be proactive and take responsibility for our choices.

What distinguishes us as human from all other animals is our ability to examine our own character, to decide how to view ourselves and our situations, and to control our own effectiveness.

Reactive people choose to take a passive stance they believe the world is happening to them. There’s nothing I can do. Or that’s just the way I am.

They think the problem is “out there” but that thought is the problem. Reactivity becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and reactive people feel increasingly victimized and out of control.

Proactive people, however, recognize they have responsibility or response ability to choose how you will respond a given situation.

It is our willing permission, our consent to what happens to us, that hurts us far more than what happened to us in the first place.

Stephen Covey

Truth Be Told

This is a song by Matthew West. I chose to share it. Because there is truth to it.

Lie number one you’re supposed to have it all together. And when they ask how you’re doing just smile and tell them, Never Better.

Lie number two everybody’s life is perfect except yours. So keep your messes and your wounds and your secrets safe with you behind closed doors.

Truth be told. The truth is rarely told.

I sat I’m fine, yeah I’m fine oh I’m fine hey I’m fine but I’m not and you know it. I’m broke and when it’s out of control I say it’s under control but it’s not and you know it.

I don’t know it’s so hard to admit it. When being honest is the only way to fix it. There’s no failure in fall. There is no sin you don’t already know. So the truth be told.

Can I really stand here unashamed. Knowing that you love for me won’t change? Oh God if that’s really true. Then let the truth be told.

We are told to our problems and feelings to ourselves. Keep it under wrap and key. But I know from experience that is not true. I hide everything inside for to many years. It’s wasn’t until I started talking about my past traumas and feelings that I began to heal.

So, stop trying to hold it all in, it only slowly kills you inside. Let it all out, that’s the only way you’ll be peaceful, happy, energized and truly let the truth be told.

Standing Firm On The Promises Of God

Have you ever stare into a situation in the face and wondered how you came to stand where you are? It is times like these that we need the promises of God. We need to read them and we also need to recite them, pray them, and believe them.

One truth I am constantly reminding myself of when I am standing on the unconditional promises of God is that He does not change as people do. God does not promise something and then remove it because we displease Him. God’s promises are not reliant on our actions or the condition of the world around us.

You can stand firm in your faith because God is immovable.

Praying the promises of GodThe promises of God are Yes and Amen

What are the 7 promises of God

  • promise #1- I have forgiven you
  • Promise #2- I love you
  • Promise #3- I will never leave you
  • Promise #4- I will fight for you
  • Promise #5- I hear your prayers
  • Promise #6- I Am your safe place
  • Promise #7- I have an eternal home for you.

What does it mean to stand on the promises of God?

My pastor always talks about praying Bible verses. This is something I completely embrace and you will understand why this practice is helpful. With this in mind. I pray the promises of God.

One day while dealing with my seasonal affective disorder. I began praying I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 says breathe in, pray out, breathe in pray out.

I could feel myself gaining strength in knowing I have light and warmth in my heart and that I would get through the bad days if I focused on the light and warmth of God I can learn how to be at peace in the winter as well as the warmer months.

You may think are the promises of God really for me.

As a believer of God, you are covered in the blood, wrapped in grace, and are written in the palm of His hand.

”For no matter how many promises God has made they are Yes I Christ. And so through Him the Amen is spoken by us to the Glory of God” (Cortinthians 1:20.)

The definition of Amen is ’so be it.’ That should be our attitude when standing firm on the promises of God. God will come through. So be it. God has it forsaken me. So let it be God have forgiven me. So let it be I am clean. So let it be.

How many promises are there from God? The Bible is full of God’s promises. So many, in fact that I thought I would narrow it down and focus on 7.

Sin separates us from God. Sometimes we feel dirty to come before Him. Sometimes pride prevents it. In any case, when we are ready to accept this promise of God, He is ready to give it.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. ( John 1:19)

I even I am He who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake and remember your sins no more. ( Isaiah 43:25)

God remembers your sin no more. It is finished. You have been washed clean by the blood of the Lamb.

Stand on His promises.

Ways To Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone Everyday

Want to get out of your safe cocoon but don’t know where to begin. The hardest part is taking the first step.

It’s so much to stay within the boundaries of where you are comfortable that it is to face the fear of going beyond them.

By limiting yourself to what you already know, you’re really missing out on some great opportunities, life experiences, and personal growth.

Individuals say to me, how do you do things with no issues? Whatever situation or the activity comes up, your ready to jump in there. I tell them Oh believe me there was time I would say no to everyone or everything that came my way.

Here are some simple steps you can take each day to push your limits.

Take the first step

In theory, all you need to do is to take the first step. It will be difficult. The first day is the worst. The opening line of your story can take a long time. But as you gain momentum, it gets easier to keep moving.

Put yourself in a new environment

It’s best to begin with small changes that will not present any real threat like eating at a different restaurant in a different part of town. Try attending a gun show or art exhibit. The idea here is to place yourself in a new area where you can control the situation. I remember I started getting myself out there by going to a conference on mental health for the weekend. I huge step, I was 150 miles away staying in a hotel with a lady that I didn’t know very well. It was a huge step, that didn’t turn out very well. I ended up having a horrible panic attack at the banquet because their we’re about 300 people in one room.i ran out in the hall and just began to shake life a leak. Sobbing horribly not even able to breath. I have no control over anything there, I couldn’t head to home because we brought the other ladies car. Until it was over I was a mess. I managed to get my licence to facilitate a group to help people handle just what I had been dealing with. And become all the stronger for it. If you don’t think your able for a big change all at once start slower. I like to start big and get it over with. Some people it works for and others it doesn’t.

Don’t pick a safe place

Every time you’re making a choice, one choice is the safe/comfortable choice and on choice is the risky uncomfortable choice. The risky/uncomfortable place is the one that will teach you the most and make you grow the most.

Take a different route home

If you drive or walk a different route, you will see different things. In a small way, that increases your view of the world. That is an easy way to start. After that make more drastic changes. Eventually, you will feel comfortable thinking out of the box.

Make snap decisions

It doesn’t have to be a life or death decision. Anything from choosing a restaurant to shopping. Just make a choice that’s unusual for your routine without overthinking it.

All of those things may seem daunting, flip a coin. I’m serious. Flip a coin over the decision and stick to it. Some people do it all the time and they end up glad that they did.

Eliminating the need for mulling over a decision boosts the process of stepping out of our comfort zones. Plus snap decisions install a feeling of self-trust.

Say ”yes” more often

Saying yes even when you don’t think you’re ready. If you are working, say yes to new projects, new assignments, new roles even when you have not done it before. It opens up huge opportunities in your career. Who knows you might find yourself enjoying something you never got the chance to explore earlier.

Volunteer

Preferably, make it a learning experience. Pick something you’re unfamiliar with and soak up everything you can while also making yourself useful.

I am big on volunteering. I volunteer for a Veterans Organization. I wasn’t sure of doing this at first. But then I got the opportunity to be President for a year. I didn’t choose to be in this position but, rather it was forced on me when the President resigned mid-year. It was a lot of work, but I learned a lot and smarter when it comes to the brave soldiers in our country. I’ve volunteered at a drug addiction recovery center. First it was going to a group and sharing my experiences and listening what others were sharing. Then it eventually began with volunteering at a store that funds rehabilitation for them people. I volunteer at my church once a month. Doing these things help me not to overthink my decisions and past. It keeps me pretty busy and I love it.

Do what you’re afaid of

New mindset. It goes like this. Does this scare me? Then I have to do it. That’s how you conquer fear. It never goes away. You just learn how to ride the energy.

Create challenges to push yourself in areas you want to improve on

Decidecacfew challanges and their triggers for yourself designed to push you outside of your comfort zone in areas you want to develop.

Next time you see someone your attracted to go up and talk to them.

Next time you go buy a cup of coffee or anything else ask them for a discount since your there every day.

Next time you make eye contact with a stranger keep looking at them until they look away.

Next time someone asks you how you are respond by saying you are doing great instead of saying just good.

Just focus on your triggers and don’t make any excuses. It’ll become a habit after a while.

Remember tomorrow is a new day. It helps us remember that what doesn’t kill us generally makes us stronger. You will survive, you will heal, you will learn something, you will have a better chance of emerging unscathed next time.

Ways To Stay Positive When You’re Having A Bad Day

I have had the worst day today then I had in a long day. Everything that could go wrong did. I went to mail my son’s Christmas gift and the lady at the post office told me his address wasn’t right. I went to pick up some Christmas tree’s to donate to those in need, as I was lifting into my vehicle my knee popped and I almost fell. I went to buy some wine bringing it into the house ai dropped it and it shattered. And ruined a gift I was holding. I almost wanted to scream. But I didn’t.

I want to share with you some ways on how to stay positive when you’re having a bad day.

It seems to be Murphy’s law. One had thing happens and the rest of your day goes downhill from there.

We all have had days when it seems like nothing goes right.

Ways to stay positive, even when your life isn’t cooperating.

Develop A Plan

Often we feel just ”off” and we let it affect our day without finding out what it is that makes up feel down in the first place. Identify what’s making you feel despondent.

Example, I package I tried to send today. I didn’t stress over it. I thought okay I can try again to tomorrow. Thinking I hope the lady I went to will not be there then. When I hurt my knee, it knew it was a bad choice to try and do any heavy work. I didn’t let it bother me, I did what I needed to do. I should of got a clue to go home and rest my knee instead of going on. My knee was acting weird last night. I went to buy the bottle of wine when I was hurting and tired. But there’s no used to cry over spilled wine.

Everything that happened to me today can be fixed tomorrow. While the day was irritating. I didn’t let get me upset. I saw some old friends today, I bought groceries, I have a vehicle to drive. Some so many people have way less than I do. I didn’t let the bad things in the day, steal my joy.

Speak positive words to yourself. We tend to believe what we say. Our minds literally go in the direction of our words. Of course, we can’t talk ourselves into being taller, or skinnier, but, we can have a more positive outlook by noticing the good, anticipating a positive outlook and speaking it out load.

It’s almost impossible to shout ”I feel fantastic! and be depressed or mad at the same time. A few verbal affirmations through your day will go along way toward lifting your spirits. I always listen to m favorite music when I’m having a bad day. I can sing along and be uplifted.

Laugh

When you can laugh during a bad day it seems that your day goes faster. There’s so much stress during these days, laughter is the best medicine to distress yourself.

It’s very hard to worry about a situation when your trying to solve it, or working on seeing the good in life.

How Will You Be Remembered?

This has been on my mind lately. It’s been a tough year for most of us.

If you die today, would you be proud of what others remember you as.

There is no doubt you will be remembered whether in a positive of negative way.

None of us want to pass on, but the reality is that life is short. We listen to people talk about how short life is, how we need to make the most of it. And how we need to love those around us especially the ones who don’t have much time left, but too often we let that message go one ear and out the other.

Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life

Natalie Babbitt

You don’t have to live forever; you just have to live. Leaving a great legacy is the most important thing you can do in your life. They don’t have to be possessions or a bunch of money.

Perhaps the most important question to ask yourself is- how will I be remembered when I am gone? When you ask yourself this question, what is your first response? Will others see you as selfish, uncommitted, unloving, and inpatient, or will see all of your amazing qualities- compassionate, kind, giving, and loving? The choices you make now will impact how others remember you.

What Can You Start Doing Now

First, you need to decide what legacy you want to create. You need to think of what contribution you want to make to this world. What message do you want to send with your life to the world and to those who matter most to you? If you had a chance to attend your own funeral, what would you want people to say about you?

We all have a limited time on earth. And yet, we often live our lives as if our time is unlimited, putting things off, thinking that we’ll always have more time.

Based on the legacy you want to leave behind, identity three to five specific goals you can set for creating your legacy. Then for each goal, figure out the first step you can take and start making it today. Don’t keep pushing it off, or else you will never start.

Thinking about this the last little while. When I was struggling with my past and had so much hate toward everyone. I remember when I was suicidal. I only want to die, to put myself out of my misery. If I had succeeded. What a legacy I would have left behind. A poor lady, that had no love, happiness or strength in here life.

I am not that person today, thank God.

I am the loving, kind, helpful person, I always wanted to be. And I keep working on becoming a better person everyday.

A powerful legacy can often be created with simple action. Simple acts of kindness have been known to change lives in powerful ways. Do your part to make the world a better place.

One person can’t change the world, but can change the world around them. Stop worrying about the fact that you can’t do everything or that you can’t do it perfectly. Maybe you don’t know what kind of legacy you’ll leave behind and that’s okay. What you can do is the right thing.

What is your favorite charity? Would you like a tree planted in your name?

Leave behind some legacy letters, to your friends and family that are close to you that can be read after you’ve passed on. It’s something they will likely treasure the rest of their lives.

You don’t have to earn a noble peace prize to have a legacy worth remembering. At the end of the day, it won’t matter how much money you have in the bank, more how great your skin looked. What will matter is the type of impression you left those around you? People will forget the superficial things, but they will never forget how to made them feel. Your kindness and compassion.

Nonverbal Communication Keys Types

Nonverbal communication is colorful and full of intrigue. A shrub of the shoulders and a roll of the eyes allows us to say, ”I don’t like you, ” without uttering a single word. Better yet, a warm smile and an outstretched hand says ”Im so glad to see you.”

In every personal encounter, we send and receive nonverbal communion cues whether we realize it or not. While the world encourages us to be ourselves, there is a time and place for nonverbal cues. When we are at work, it’s wise to take note of how we communicate with both our words and our gestures.

Facial Expressions

The first and most obvious clue to nonverbal communication is a persons facial expression.

Even though we only have one face, it can exhibit a wealth of expressions. From a half smile, to a full-blown smirk, to a casual eye shift, our facial expressions demonstrate a range of emotions. Instead of delving with all the nuances like a quirk of the lip or a twitch of the eye. There are three prominent expressions.

Have you ever heard the quote: if my mouth doesn’t say it my face definitely will.

This is so true where we like it or not, our facial expressions sometimes says more that our tongue.

Smiling- A smile generally indicates happiness or contentment.

Scowling – A scowl or from indicates discontentmebt or frustraion.

Lack of expression -An expressionless face can indicate two things the indication of disinterest or boredom, or a face of disdain.

An expressionless face is hard to decipher, so if you suspect you’re exhibiting what’s know as stone face, it might be nice to poo in a smiles from time to time.

Have you ever sat in a room full of people and just watched their facial expressions? It interesting what you can find out about people just watching their body language.

Eye Contact

People place a lot of stock in eye contact. If you’re talking to someone and they don’t look at you at all, you’re going to feel put off and ignored. But, the fact that someone’s looking down a lot can mean their shy. Someone lacking in confidence tends to have trouble making or maintaining eye contact.

If you struggle with eye contact, it’s the kind of thing you have to practice to improve. Like public speaking, it must be practiced. And it’s a nice skill to have because it allows people to see you’re engaged and interested in what you have to say.

Of course, extended stretches of eye contact have the opposite effect; it can make people feel uncomfortable. You’ll find the happy medium the more you practice.

Gestures And Movement

While our face is a dead giveaway for our moods, the entire body is a barometer. If you had watched a heated debate through a glass conference room. There are somethings you might have witnessed:

  • Frequent and even wild hand gestures
  • Finger-pointing Arms waving in the air
  • Raking fingers through their hair
  • Invasion of personal space in order to send a message of hostility

On the other hand, if everyone’s sitting peacefully around a table you can still note nonverbal communication cues. What if someone has their arms crossed? Knowingly or unknowingly, they could be saying ” I’m closed off to you and your ideas.”

If someone’s resting their hands on the table with a relaxed and open posture, they’re conveying a message of openness and willingness.

What is someone at work is fiddling with they’re pen or coffee mug and not looking who is speaking with them. This could be a sign they’re bored with the subject. Or it may have nothing at all with the speaker, they may be preoccupied by they’re personal life. Either way it’s a signal they’re not fully present.

Tone of Voice

There’s not a lot of delineation in this example. If someone’s volume is elevated and they’re speaking rapidly, they’re excited. Either something is wrong or they’re amped up. But, if they’re speaking in calm, slow tones, they’re probably conveying their message without any cause for concern.

The way we inflict our words also impacts how they’re Interpreted. For example says, I thought you were coming to Florida this weekend, it could mean they hoped you were coming and theyre glad to see you.

The same person can also say I thought you were coming to Florida this weekend meaning why are you here on Sunday evening? You’re late. So, the inflection of your words conveys a message as much as the actual words we choose.

Personal Touch

Remember, when we were watching the debate behind the glass window where there was finger-pointing and invasion a of personal space, it indicates attack mode. Someone’s aggressively conveying they’re out to get someone or prove a point. In this line of attack, someone can also reach out and grab someone by the arm to shock them to attention.

We usually consider physical touch in a positive and personal light. If someone is sitting somewhere crying, someone is likely to put their hand on them and ask them what’s wrong. These signs of touch are meant to be conforting while forging a connection. Someone can give a light touch to a person’s arm as they say thank you.

In any instance, bad or good, touch is designed to strengthen the message being sent.

Appearance

This example is a bit more controversial. We’re taught to judge a book by its cover. We can’t assess a person’s intelligence or demeanor by the clothing they wear. Yet, however there are certain setting one’s appearance does send a message. This is why people wear suits or dresses to work and casual wear on the weekends.

My husband wears overalls to work because he fixes things for the power plant and farmers in the area. But when he comes home he puts on sweat pants and a t-shirt.

Our everyday attire and hairstyle send a message, imagine a woman who always wears bright bold tones. Perhaps she wears orange suits with red blouses or yellow shirts with royal blue shirts. This woman is not looking to be a wallflower. You could probably guess she has a high level of self-confidence.

On the other hand, just because someone chooses tones of gray, it doesn’t mean they’re shy. The might simply prefer a simplistic style. To them, less may be more.

I wear bright bold colors during the spring and summer seasons, but during the winter I wear a lot of browns, grays and dark greens. It doesn’t mean I change who I am, it’s just because in the spring and summer I’m happier. And During the fall and winter I’m kind of low key. Because of the darker seasons I am so excited about the weather but I am still confident and outgoing.

Either way, how we present ourselves to people and situations tells a story. Men are told to take out hats off at the dinner table, put a comb through our hair and wear our Sunday best to church’s. It shows we put a little thought into the interaction. My church doesn’t have a dress code, but I still wear nice clothes, black pants and a nice shirt, their are others that wear shorts to church. The way people dress, says nothing about they’re relationship with the Lord.

Your facial expressions and body language as well as how you dress can send a message. As well as how you act. Their are individuals who don’t realize this. You can watch a person and learn a lot about them.