Asking Wrongly

You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions (James 4: 1-3).

This passage makes this very plain. It addresses some of the problems present in the original audience.

When I was young I learned this lesson, I alway told people the God never answered “My” prayers, I never understood the reason why.

We read in verses 1 and 2 that there are many quarrels and fights that are motivated by covetousness and inordinate desire. Such motivations are just like the jealousy and selfish ambition that characterize earthly wisdom. What is covetousness except the jealous desire to have what belongs to our neighbor? Is not selfish ambition often the result of coveting another power or position?

These desires were resulting in murder. Some commentators take the word murder literally since the audience was formerly Zealots and not above taking the lives of others. This not probably the best interpretation since the condemnation would be harsh if those in the audience were actually killing one another. The word used for murder can be used for murder here can be used figuratively and such used in keeping with James’ warning concerning the tongue. The murder being discussed here was not being perpetrated against physical life, but rather against another person’s character.

If we manifest the disorder of vile practices that result from earthly wisdom our prayers will be in vain.

It is not until you can with a kind heart and the will of God to come forth that our prayers will be heard.

For example: Year’s ago I was praying that my daughter-in-law would have I’ll done to her, because of the way she treated our family. I prayed some pretty awful stuff. She hurt me so I wanted to hurt her. And my son and her relationship had taken the brunt of all this hate. They were struggling and in turn my son would call me to vent. Little did he know I was praying about. God brought to my attention that I was hurting my son as well as her.

It was not God’s will for any of us to be hurt. So, I switched what I was praying towards her. Praying for peace and happiness for them and for myself to accept my daughter-in-law as the one my chose to love and take as his wife.

Their relationship problems stopped and although they don’t come to visit often. I have come to accept this as normal.

If we pray negative prayers they will not be answered that way we want. We have to pray our will as God’s will. With love and respect if we want to have them answered.

When we pray we need to pray this way:

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed thy name, they kingdom come; as earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil (Matthew 6:9).

God is about love and peace not about anything negative. I can pray for 100000 dollars God will not ever answer that prayer cause he knows I’m going to spend that money on earthly possessions. But if I pray for a person that needs a blessing of some food in their cupboard that is much more likely to get answered.

Be consistent in your prayers. I’ve prayed for my marriage to be saved and it was in God’s timing only. Not mine. I prayed for God to heal my cancer, and I was healed. It takes focus and time with God to get a breakthrough in anything. It has to be within his will.

When we do not ask the Lord to meet our needs, or if we ask him to do so with the motives, we will miss out on the wisdom and all the other blessings that God offers to His children. Do not doubt whether you will receive it. Believe and receive your prayers as truth. Don’t pray for your own agenda. Search your heart and ask God to purify your motives so that you might pray in a manner pleasing to Him.

Hoarding

This is a real issue in America and I’m sure all over the World, it’s really talked about much.

Hoarding has broad searching implications including a substantial pubic health burden it’s linked to occupational impairment, and poor physical health.

In North America it’s estimated 30% of the population maintains a collection of some sort. The practice of collecting in individuals maintain is collection of objects that are generally consider interesting and valuable.

Compulsive hoarding is characterized by the acquisition of, and failure to throw away a large number of possessions

Excessive clutter the precludes activities for which the living space was designed.

Significant distress or impairment in functioning caused by the hoarding.

My husband is a hoarder and it’s a hard thing to live with him. He collects cars, car parts, and wood boxes which he says he can put little stuff inside. Our from porch is awful, I tried to clean it one time and it stressed him out such much that I was going to throw his stuff away. I haven’t done it. I have a friend and her boyfriend collects newspapers. Another who collects a number of things. It a enormous problem in the town we live it.

It’s not uncommon for community public health departments to become overburdened with complaints in bigger cities or towns regarding sanitary conditions and fire hazard risks.

Hoarding is a significant psychiatric problem that occurs at twice the rate of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). For times the rate of Bi-polar disorder and schizophrenia. It has been linked with impulsive control disorders and appears to have high rates of major depressive disorder

Hoarding affects between 6 million and 15 million people in the United States alone. Treatment for hoarding has to guided by a cognitive-behavioral therapy approach.

Historically, hoarding has been deemed a subtype of OCD, new evidence suggests that there are more differences that similarities. Evidence shows it is a stand alone disorder though there are links that confirms that major depressive disorder.

I know from experience That it’s a hard thing for the individuals and there families. It’s seems to me that it is inherited.

My husband tells me his grandpa and uncle had this issue. My husband recognizes the problem but can’t bring himself to do anything about it. If I throw anything away of his, I have to be very careful that he got it long enough to forgotten he has it.

I never realized Hoarding was a Psychiatric disorder until I was researching it to see if I could help people with this problem.

The Storms Of Life

The disciples experienced several mountain-top moments in their time with Jesus. But when a storm hit while they were out on the Sea of Galilee, fear took over. Among the roaring waves with the boat rocking. Jesus’ chosen one failed to recall the lessons they had learned about the power and purposes of their leader. Even the appearance of Jesus walking on water didn’t bring immediate relief (Matthew 14:26).

In our own strength we lack sufficient recourses and abilities to meet life’s challenges, so God provides what we need.

Our suffering is never a surprise to the Lord. He knows everything we are going through. More than that, He’s orchestrating our circumstances for His glory and our benefit, according to His Will.

Reflecting on the purpose in hardship can help us respond to the trails with God. Let’s take a moment to fix our attention on the Lord and seek to understand four lessons. He wants us to learn through life’s dark times.

Our purpose for hardship is cleansing. Because of the our flesh nature and the self-absorbed world we live in. It’s easy to develop selfish attitudes, mix up priorities, and have ungodly habits.

The pressure that bears down on us from stormy situations are meant to bring these impurities to our attention and direct us to purify and guide us back to godliness, not to ruin our life’s.

The second reason we face difficulty is so we’ll be compassionate and comfort to others. How much better is it to help someone you care about through a trial you’ve already been through. God’s work in our lives is intended for us. It is designed to reach a world that doesn’t recognize or acknowledge Him. The Lord uses our challenges to equip us for serving others.

As we experience suffering We will learn about God’s sufficiency. His comforting presence, and His strength to help us endure. I know many times the only way I made it out was because of Gods strength. Our testimony during difficulty will be authentic. For the people in life we come to know we will know their pain because we’ve been through it. What credibility would we have with people in crisis if we never experienced a deep need.

The third, God promises us He’ll provide a path through any trail we face. The disciples probably wondered how long the storm would last and whether they would make it safely to the shore. Most likely, they wished it never happened. But had they somehow avoided this storm, they would have missed the demonstration and of Jesus’ power over the sea and wind. The frightening situation was transformed into a revelation of the saviors Devine nature. God wants to make his power known through our trials, as well.

The forth is the most important thing. He gives us an awareness of his presence. At first, the disciples believed they were alone in a terrifying storm. When they stopped Jesus, their fear increased. They thought it was a ghost. But as they recognized Him, their fear changed to relief and hope. Similarly, we may not sense God’s presence during a crisis. But He has promised to always be with us (Hebrews 13:5-6). The assurance that the Lord will never leave provides immediate comfort, an infusion of courage, and a sense of coincidence to endure.

No one enjoys suffering. But in the hands of the Almighty God, trials becomes tools. He uses trials to shape people into what He intents us to be. He permits us to suffer because He has something far more important to teach us.

Ask God what He wants you to learn in a trail He will show you a entire new way of seeing what your trial and the purpose of why it’s happening. God is good all the time. He always provides for your spiritual needs to help you endure and grow stronger in your faith in Him.

Lasting Changes In Your Personality

Small changes in your personality can lead to improved emotional health.

The ways of figuring out your personalities historically included your blood, bumps on you skulls, temperaments and personality inventory from the ink lot test.

Self- assessments of our personality can be flawed because most people have little insight into what type of personality they have. I’ll- tempered people may believe they are kind and thoughtful to everyone. Instead of being disrespectful and thoughtless. People can be attentive to other’s needs may behave in ways others do not want. And be unaware of their intrusion.

Many people don’t pat attention to what kind of personality they have and don’t know how their personalities operate.

When people go to therapy for symptoms of anxiety or depression most have no idea what causes their anxiety/depression. Therapy usually uncovers a personality dysfunction. They identify and wrestle with their personalities.

Personality reaches our world, leisure, thoughts, activities, the ways we use language and our management of relationship.

The process of emotionally conditioning. Parents teach children many things- how to make a bed, read books, meet relatives. But parents also teach children how to grow emotionally feel.

Imagine if you trained yourself as you train you dog. We cannot completely our personalities. But we observe people can make sufficient change to lessen their anxieties, depression, relationships, conflict and substance overuse. The changes can be long lasting if enough work is done.

I used to be a horrible person, I used to hate, resent, and was usually addicted to prescription medication not by my own self, but by the doctors giving larger doses than I needed. I changed.

Our personality becomes more rigid as we age. We become more flexible and mature and tend to repeat the aspects formed in childhood.

I was seeing a therapist when I was very depressed, I slept all the time, and often felt suicidal. This therapist told to start waking up every morning get showered and dressed, eat a good breakfast, spend at least 15 minutes a day out side. Simple ideas but, they made a world of change for me. I became happier and more energetic. Don’t get me wrong I still had bad days. But as I began to get outside I had come to enjoy it. I met a lady walking on the same path I was walking on, after a while we became friends and walking buddies.

Today she is the best friend I have ever had.

As I continued to see my therapy, we changed my depression medicine to something that worked and not drug me out. The idea came to me, maybe if I focus on a beautiful thing everyday. When I fell into depression it would help me. I chose a beautiful tree just outside my window. If we chose to see something beautiful around us everyday. It can change us. I began to have a more positive attitude.

As I began to feel more positive I could be a nicer person. And started to notice things more. Every day I improved a little more. I chose to be kinder and happier. I was reacting to people and think about what I was saying to them.

Most people aren’t even aware of what they say about their tone of voice they are using. I changed my words, and my tone around people and it changed my world.

You can make lasting changes in your personality.

How To Be Calm Through Every Situation

I few years ago I wouldn’t have believed anyone could be calm and in complete control when the world around me was to high stress and anxiety stricken.

Most people just don’t feel a sense of peace, of calm, of serenity throughout their day.

A few habits me create a feeling of calmness much more than ever before.

I’m not perfect at them, but I do practice them, and they are always helpful.

These habits are not a one-time change in your life or work pattern. Changing your environment is great but, you can’t control the things that happen to you much of the time, and you certainly cannot control how other people act. The only thing you can control is your response- and response matters. You can respond to the same situation with anger or anxiety, or you can respond with peace and calmness.

These are the habits to develop that will help you develop calmness (based on my experience):

A calm morning ritual. There are many people who rush through their mornings, starting the moment their feet hit the floor. And start their day feeling stressful the entire day. The night before I pick out my outfit everything from socks to underwear and shoes, I make sure my. Coffee is ready ready to go from the next morning. I set my Alarm clock for 45 minutes before I need to get up. I my routine mapped out by time.

I pray and ask God to Blessed my day or let me become a blessing to someone else. After I get my coffee, I have take about a half hour to calmly meditate in God’s Word and drink my coffee. I take 15 minutes for a shower. While I’m doing my hair and make up, I listen to Praise music. Get dressed, fix myself breakfast, in time to get out the door a few minutes early in- case I am slowed down on my way to work.

Learn to watch your response. When something stressful happens, what is your response? Some people jump into action- though if the stressful situation is another person, sudden action can be harmful. Others get angry, or overwhelmed. Still others start to feel sorry for themselves, and wish things were different. Why can’t other people behave better? Watch this response- it’s an important habit.

Don’t take things personally. Many times the response (that you noticed in Habit 2) is to take things personally. A prime example I did before I began practicing these habits). If someone does something we don’t like, often we tend to interpret this as a personal affront. Our kids don’t clean their rooms? We think they are defying our authority instead of just being kids. Our spouse doesn’t show affection today? He/she must not care as they should. How could they treat us that way. Some people think the universe is personally against them. But, the truth is, it’s not personal- it’s the other person’s issue. They are doing the best they can. You can learn not to interpret situations as a personal affront, and instead see it as some non- personal external situation ( like a bird flying by or a leaf falling) that you can respond to without a stressful mind set, or not need to respond to at all.

As I have written on many times before.

Be grateful. Lots of people talk about gratitude but how often do we apply it to the situations of our day? Things are crashing down at work, or your boss in angry, or you co- workers are rude, or your kids are misbehaving, or someone doesn’t love us.

Do these cause anger/anxiety/unhappiness, or an we find a way to be grateful? Drop the complaints and then smile. This unbending habit can change your life.

Create stress coping habits. Many times when we are faced with stress, we have unhealthy responses-anger, feeling overwhelmed and withdrawing, eating junk food, drinking alcohol or taking drugs, shopping or otherwise buying stuff, going to waste of time sites, procrastinating,and so on. Instead we Need healthy ways to cope with stress, which we’ll come inevitably. When you notice stress, watch how you cope with it, and then replace any unhealthy coping habits with healthier ones.

There are some healthy stress coping habits that include, drinking tea, exercise, meditation, massaging your own neck and shoulders, taking a walk, drinking some water, talking with someone you care about.

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Single-task instead of multitasking, I think people multitask now than ever before. People text or talk when their drinking which causes stress let, alone very dangerous. People text while their walking which takes the calming effect that we get from just walking. They tweet and post on Facebook, they email and read blogs and news, they watch TV while eating, the plan their days while doing chores. This is a great way to add stress to your day and make you age faster.

This level of anxiety that runs through everything we do, only because you think you should be doing more. How about you try just doing me thing and learn to trust that you shouldn’t be doing anything else. It’s takes a lot of practice to just eat, just go for a walk, just talking to someone without having your cellphone going off every few seconds, just do your chores, just read an article.

How about trying to just do one simple task and then learn to trust that you don’t have to do anything more. Take sometimes to practice just eating, just doing chores, or just speaking to someone without having your cellphone in your hand going off every few seconds. Take the time to go for a walk without texting or talking to someone. Take time to enjoy real-life stress free.

Involve yourself in answering one e-mail at a time until your inbox in empty. You can learn there is peace in doing one thing at a time and work on your tasks simply.

Reduce the noise in your life. Our lives are filled with so much noise, notifications, social media, news, even the things that cutter us visually. None of it is necessary. Reduce this noise the create some quiet space in your life.

With our brains taking in all the stress in today’s surroundings and noise, our minds never have a chance to shut down and rest from day to day. It’s very unhealthy and dangerous.

Choose to get the stress and anxiety out of your life, and be calm and everyday of your life.

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Making Peace With Your Past

Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you-Jean Paul Sartre

Are you plagued by your past? I you want to know the open-heartedness and enthusiasm for life that come with making peace with your past.

We all have past memories that act like they have a mind of their own. They keep recirculating when all we want is for them to disappear. We become way to emotionally reactive than we know what’s is good for us. We become limited by distrust, and neediness.

Sometimes the past is nipping at our heals.

Sadly I lived in the past for many years I was filled with anger and resentment about my past and continually blamed my past for my present situation. When actually I was to blame.

Our mind screams about the “ should haves and the ought to be’s.” I kept a endless list of what I deserved. There are times when arguments failed us and we have to walk away. It’s time we “saw the light.”

Taking the responsibility for our own personal happiness. Anger and resentment prevents us from experiencing the ease and well being that we so desperately need. Stop feeding it. No more stories about what you should have been or even waiting for a magic solution. Your past has to disappear in order to have happiness.

The story of what happen to us didn’t change but what we gave power of changes. Stop dwelling on your past. Stop justifying anger and resentment. So you will be more drawn to ease and simplicity. Whoever caused this anger in your life will improve.

While, I never got to have a better relationship with my Mother. I did come to have a better relationship with may Father. I was is caregiver for the last 10 years of his life. We became very close in those years. And I was very blessed to have the right to be there for him. What I wanted was to be free from my past and happy in the present.

I was telling a lady about my past that I had met at church, she said something to me that has stuck with in for years. “You are not your mothers sin.” I realized right then that’s how I was living my present life. I was living like I had took over my mother’s sin, everything she did to me, I was living in punishment for that. When was not to blame, she was.

There is no law stating we can’t change our thoughts. Every time I had a bad thought about my past or even in my present. I would say out loud when I was along “STOP” get out of my head. Satan go away. It may not be the solution for every one, but, it worked for me. I managed to change my thought patterns to a healthy thought pattern instead of thinking all those sick destructive thoughts.

We can manage to destroy ourselves from the inside out.