From Pity to Praise

Trauma is perhaps to most avoided, ignored, belittled, denied, misunderstood and untreated cause of human suffering.

This is your life, Be You. There is a Clear Urgency in your life that you must never neglect and that is- you must be yourself no matter what.

A person’s strength isn’t just about how much they can handle before they break. It’s also about how much they must handle after they’re broken.

Joy- a sense of elation, happiness, and perhaps even exhilaration, often experienced as a sudden spike due to something good happening.

Gratitude- a feeling of thankfulness, for something specific or simply all- encompassing, often accompanied by humility and even reverence.

Serenity- a calm and peaceful feeling of acceptance of oneself.

Interest- a feeling of curiosity or fascination that demands and captures your attention.

Hope- I mentioned a earlier post, Hope is the anchor to the Soul. It’s a feeling of optimism and anticipation about a possible future.

Pride- a sense of approval of one self and pleasure in an achievement, skill, or personal attribute.

Amusement- a feeling of lighthearted pleasure and enjoyment, often accompanied by smiles and easy laughter.

Inspiration- feeling engaged, uplifted, and motivated by something you have read, prayed about and was answered or witnessed.

Awe- an emotion that is evoked when you witness something grand, spectacular, or breathtaking, sparkling a sense or overwhelming appreciation.

Elevation- the feeling you get when you see someone engaging in a act of kindness, generosity, or inner goodness, spurring you to aspire to similar action.

Altruism- usually referred to as an act of selflessness or generosity towards others, but can also describe the feeling you get from helping others.

Satisfaction- a sense of pleasure and contentment you get from accomplishing something or fulfilling a need.

Relief- the feeling of happiness you experience when an uncertain situation turns out for the best, or a negative outcome is avoided.

Affection- an emotional attachment to someone or something by a liking for them and a sense of pleasure for the company.

Cheerfulness- a feeling of brightness, being upbeat, and noticeably happy or chipper; feeling like everything is going your way.

Surprise-( the good kind) – a sense of delight when someone brings you unexpected happiness or a situation goes even better than you had hoped.

Confidence- emotion involving a strong sense of self-esteem and belief in yourself; can be specific to a situation or activity, or mor universal.

Admiration- a feeling of warm approval, respect, and appreciation for someone or something.

Enthusiasm- a sense of excitement, accompanied by motivation and engagement.

Eagerness- intense and the all-encompassing sense of joy or happiness when extremely positive and exciting happens. I have been trying to grow a patch of flowers in my hard for year I have babied them every spring. They would get green but never flower. I thought they were tulips. I went out one morning to water them once again expecting nothing, and there is was 1 big beautiful yellow poppy. I was so excited I jumped for joy. I am eager to see more. I little beautiful flower brought such joy into my life.

Contentment- peaceful comfort, and low- key sense of happiness and well-being.

Enjoyment- a feeling of taking pleasure in whet is going on around you especially in situations like leisure activity or social gathering.

Optimism- positive and hopeful emotion that encourages you to look forward to a bright future, one in which you believe that things will mostly work out.

Happiness- a feeling of pleasure and contentment in the way things are going; a general sense of enjoyment of and enthusiasm for life.

Love- perhaps the strongest of all positive emotions, love is a feeling of deep and enduring affection for someone, along with a willingness to put their needs ahead of your own; it can be directed towards an individual, a group of people, or even humanity. But now abide faith, hope, and love these three; and the greatest of these is love. ( 1 Corinthians 13; 13)

Anger- Ever have someone tell you no to something you want? Of course we all have. How does it make you feel? Does it make your blood begin to boil, your temperature rise and do you see red? This is commonly how anger is described. Your body is reacting to hinges not going your way, and it’s an attempt to try and rectify that.

Once when we’re angry we’ll shout, our face will register our anger and we may even throw thing’s around. We’re trying to get our own way we can think how if you’re often reacting to scenarios in this way, it’s a good idea to explore why and come up with more positive strategies.

Annoyance- Do you have a relative or co-worker that talks to loudly? Does your partner always leave dirty dishes in the sink? Though we may like our co-worker and love our partners these behaviors can make us feel annoyed. Annoyance is a weaker form of anger. While it’s not as intense as anger, it’s the result of a similar thought process. Something has happened or someone is doing something you wish they wouldn’t. And you have no control over it.

Fear- it is often cited as one of the core basic emotions, and that’s because it’s linked with our sense of self-preservation, it’s an evolved response to warn us about dangerous situations, unexpected obstacles or failures. We don’t feel fear in order to feel distressed, on the contrary, it’s thereto help us navigate potential danger successfully. Embracing the emotion of fear and exploring why it arises can help you prepare yourself proactively to tackle challenges.

Anxiety- much like fear, anxiety seems to warn us about potential threats and dangers. It’s often seen as a negative emotion as it’s though of having an anxious disposition impairs judgement and our inability to act. It’s our fight or flight response when is our body’s sympathetic nervous system is activated due to the sudden release of hormones in the face of something frightening. Your heart beats faster you begin breathing faster and your entire body becomes tense and becomes ready to take action.

Sadness- when you miss a deadline, get a bad grade, or don’t secure that job you had been hoping you would get, you’ll probably be sad. Sadness happens when we are dissatisfied with ourselves, our achievements or the behavior of someone else around us. Sadness can be good to experience as it indicates to us that we are passionate about something. It can be a great catalyst to pursue change.

Guilt-is a complex emotion. We can feel this in relation to ourselves and past behaviors that we wish hadn’t happened. But also in relation to how our behavior impacts those around us. Guilt is often referred to as a moral emotion and can be another strong catalyst to encourage us to make changes in our life.

Apathy- like guilt can be a complex emotion. If you’ve lost enthusiasm, motivation or interest in the things you’ve previously enjoyed, this could be related to apathy. Like anger, it can arise when we lose control over a scenario or situation but instead of becoming angry we pursue a more passive-aggressive expression of rebellion.

Despair- Ever try to achieve a certain task or goal multiple times and not succeed? Did that make you feel like throwing your hands in the air, and camping out in bed with a large tub of ice cream and crying for hours. That’s despair and it’s an emotion that arises when we aren’t getting the results we want. Despair gives us an excuse to give up on our desired goals and it comes back to a self-preservation tactic. Despair can actually be a useful reminder to take a break and restore, before continuing to pursue a challenging goal.

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A time comes in your life when you must decide between what you feel and what you know. You must choose between your mind and your heart, between love and the truth from your mind; but seldom your soul. The bond between your heart and your mind is the strongest and one will try and overpower the other at all times. But neither one, alone, or together can overpower your soul, for they do not possess the ability, nor the strength. Only your soul can guide you when the time does come for you to make a decision, you must be prepared for a inner conflict between your heart and your mind, so painful it can only be overcome by the strength your soul can provide this is when you must force yourself to realize that your heart and your mind are only links to your soul and can act as one when you allow your soul to guide you. It is a difficult road to go down but I believe everyone will end up there eventually. My page hopefully will help you along your path to get their.

When I realized I needed to start living differently and make some deferent changes to my life. I knew I had to become comfortable in my own skin.

Everyone is born with flaws no-one is perfect. We need to accept ourselves and what we are born with, whether it be your background, your skin, your nose, your hair, your freckles or anything else. You have to accept yourself for who you are and love yourself.

This was extremely difficult for me because of the emotional neglect in my background as a child. When you are constantly told you will never amount to anything or your stupid it takes a toll on you, it took years to get to this point. But, I would look at myself in the mirror everyday (no matter how stupid I felt) and tell myself I loved me, I am a kind person, I would amount to something.

Not being comfortable with yourself is the number one happiness killer. Because if your not comfortable in your own skin. It becomes the biggest concern on top of your mind everyday. It kills your self-esteem, your self-confidence and the happiness that comes deep from within.

If you find it hard because other people discriminate or make judgements about you, distance yourself from people who are shallow and narrow-minded. You are better than that. Prove it to them and yourself that you are capable and talented in so many other ways. Surround yourself with people who value the same things you do, and leave the bad people attitudes behind.

See the positive in every situation. Yes you will always run into unfortunate situations in life that are out of your control. You can choose to feel sad, annoyed, angry, or stressed about the situation or turn it around and focus on the positive. You can choose to be stuck in a bad situation or let go, move on and start again.

Stay motivated. If you can simply live life and appreciate what you have and acknowledge everyone is different and stop comparing yourself to others you will experience joy and happiness in your life. Remember the grass is always greener on the other side but their story is different than yours, you don’t know the whole story. This will be a battle won for you.

Appreciate what you have and never compare yourself to others, wishing your was like theirs, you face was like theirs, your body was like theirs. Will cause you to burn with jealousy and it will set you back on what you’re trying to accomplish. You will never truly be happy if you keep looking outside and wishing you had what you don’t.

Learn from failure or bad experience and never repeat the same mistake twice. It’s like going around a mountain 100 times and get back where to started, if you make the same mistakes over and over you will end up with the same results. Every setback and bad situation in life teaches you something. Growth doesn’t happen in comfort. Take it S an opportunity to train your mind to be stronger, more resilient, and more equipped to be able to deal with things life throws at you.

Let go of you need to control. Control makes to feel secure. But at the same time, with control you also lose freedom. It’s. Confusing, when you try to control your life, situations, and sometimes others, you do so because you want to feel more secure.

However, when you feel more secure because you take control of it, it lose control of yourself and very likely of those who you try to control. This is because you become dependent on the feeling of having control. And it can drive you crazy because things don’t always go as planned. Trying to control things will only drive other people away which will make you panic even more when that happens, but it also hinders you from achieving happiness from within.

Drop the resentment within. Most of the time you hold on to anger because you believe it would make the person you’re mad at upset and realize that they have done something wrong. But the fact is that you are actually hanging your self up on something that’s burning you within. When you’re mad at someone, the pain you are suffering is actually hurting you not them. When you hate someone, the fire is within your own mind and not bothering them one bit.

No matter what someone does to you- hurt you, look down on you, underestimate you, backstab you, abuse you, cheat on you, when you hold on to hatred, you hold on to hurt. Only when you learn to let go, you let your soul free from the pain. No matter what caused them to do certain things to you, the best thing you can do is to let go.

It will be hard to let go, you can start with meditation. Even meditating is hard because you need to control yourself not to think about anything while meditating. Begin by picturing a beautiful place you have been or want to go. I picture a field of yellow and grass and a olive tree way off in the distance and me sitting under that tree just resting in the warm sun with a cool breeze blowing. The key is to think about nothing not having a care in the world. Being able to control your thoughts and focus, and keep one’s mind at peace strengthens the minds muscles- this is the secret power of meditation.

The fire in only within you. The person you hate doesn’t feel hatred. Let it go, let it go.

Living in the moment. I believe that one of the reasons little kids and happy couples on dates are happy is because they live in the moment. They focus on what’s happening in front of them and pay attention to the person they are with. When you live in the moment and do your best, you just feel happy. Why wouldn’t you? You don’t worry about the the future, neither do you feel sad about the past. Don’t worry about tomorrow, tomorrow can worry about itself.

Taking every waking hour as it comes and do what you are supposed to do and complete what you’re supposed to complete. Just live in the moment and do your best.

Avoid over analyzing. This is what a lot of us do- over analyzing things from relationships to career and finances. Over analyzing is dwelling on or about something, thinking about it over and over, trying to dig deeper and deeper, because somehow you believe it could end up giving you a way out. When in doubt, over analyzing somehow gives us comfort. Most of the time we never actually get an answer but a set of worries.

In order to avoid over analyzing, we need to be more outspoken with people whom we have doubts about, take things as they come, and listen carefully to your intuition (gut).

Stop worrying about the future. Many of us worry about or future, our career, our health, and about the people we love. We worry because we are scared. However, worrying doesn’t change anything. If your worried about your health when you’re get older, then you should start eating healthy and exercise regularly. If you’re worried about finances, then you should start saving for a rainy day. If you’re worried about your kids, then encourage them to take actions to help ease your worries.

Remember that worrying about your love ones doesn’t actually make them better. It only affects your health and your blood pressure. Your love one will to take action themselves. All you can do is to encourage them and help them move towards the right direction for them.

Drop your ego and be true- we have our egos as our security guard that protects our self-esteem from being attacked. However, sometimes we become a victim to our own ego. This is when the ego takes control and we become too arrogant and act above ourselves. We distort the reality about us. We live an illusion. Sometimes we do so because it makes us feel good about ourselves.

Whatever it may be, letting go of your ego become your front shield actually hurts you more on the inside because you can’t be your true self. You just live with lies. In the end, you just can’t take anymore because you are just faking it. Over and over, you will become tired of it and feel like no one really understands you. This is when you realize that you will never be truly happy unless you stay true to yourself and others.

Have a open mind. Having a narrow mind can hurt you more than you think because naturally we as humans don’t like being disapproved of. We don’t like feeling like we’re wring because it makes us feel rejected and unaccepted.

So if you don’t have a open mind which means you stand firmly on your beliefs and ideas and oppose other who thinks otherwise, you will feel extremely agitated and uncomfortable when people with different beliefs are presented in front of you. If there is belief you are going to stand be ready to stand alone. When I make a Stand alone I go by an old instruction manual that has been around for 2000 years. Some don’t believe it or care about it and that’s their right. It’s the Holy Bible if it’s in there it’s true.I cannot be swayed to open my mind. This book has never steered me wrong.

On The other hand, if you don’t have a open mind, be open to hearing about the different beliefs. In fact, you should embrace the differences, and want to understand it better, and become adaptable and flexible in what they have to say. You wouldn’t have a fight with yourself in accepting others. You should feel at ease with their differences. You can accept someone for their beliefs and feel positive in not seeing things their way. Just because you have different beliefs doesn’t mean you can’t respect them for it.

These are lyrics are to a song I heard many years ago. They inspired me to keep trying and not give up on trying to be better person everyday. And striving to be a better person than I was yesterday. It song has touched me.

You Are More- Tenth North Avenue

There’s a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she’s wondered
And the shame she can’t hide

She says how did I get here?
I’m not who I once was.
And I’m crippled in fear
That I’ve fallen too far to love

But, don’t you know who you are?
What’s been done for you?
Yeah don’t you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you’ve made
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes 
You are more than the problems you create
You’ve been remade.

Well she tries to believe it
That she’s been given new life
But, she can’t shake the feeling 
That it’s not true tonight

She know all the answers
She’s rehearsed all the lines
And so she’ll try to do better
But, then she’s to weak to try

But don’t you know who you are?
You are more

Cause this is not about what you’ve done
But what’s been done for you
This is not about where you’ve been
But, where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel
But what he felt to forgive you
And what he felt to make you loved

You are more than the choices that you’ve made
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes 
You are more than the problems you create 
You’ve been remade.

Success in life is founded upon attention to the small things; to the everyday things nearest to us rather that the things that are remote and uncommon.