When Your Life has been a Constant Struggle

No matter where my life takes me, I will always remember one vivid point in my life that changed everything.

It wasn’t too long along that I feeling that my entire life had been a failure. I was completely fed up with my life and how people were treating me, or at least the way I was thinking they were treating me.

My Children were gone and I felt completely alone. They never called to see how I was doing, they never came over to see me. My husband had completely upset me. We never had any communication. I would try and talk to him, but he wouldn’t remember anything I said. I felt disrespected.

In was so upset one day, after he left for work one morning. I packed some belongings. And left town. I wrote hi a note saying I had to get away. Didn’t know where I was going or even if I was coming back. All I knew was I couldn’t take it anymore. I drove 4 hours until I ended up at my sisters house. Which was not where I was headed especially since we hadn’t talked in months. I still was shaking when I got to her house. I thought I was having a nervous break down.

I think many of us want to find that one moment when it feels like we need to leave our past behind. We realize it time to get busy living.

It was the next day before my husband called me. Wanting to know where I was and why I left. I told him we needed to talk and he hung up on me. After him hanging up and me hanging up. He asked me when I was coming home. I told him I didn’t know.

After that my entire life changed. I had some serious thinking and praying to do. It was time to stop making excuses and really do what I want to do start living. We wait for that moment to come, but’s it frustrating because we have no idea when it will come.

I had decided I had nothing to lose. It could not get any worse than what it was right then.

I went back home 4 days later to talk to my husband. I told them the things that I needed to happen or I was leaving.

But the truth is sometimes we wait and that pivoting moment never comes.

What if you could create it through the power of writing. Writing can help you if you’ve got a lot of emotional baggage, have a lot of pain and anger, or feel stuck in life. It’s benefits has been proven to work.

I had always written letters to myself and my husband but threw them away after I wrote them. My therapist had told me to write letters my mother. To let go of the emotional pain I felt towards her. We I started to that I just started writing to myself and my husband.

It has turned my life around, but it took that pivotal moment in my life to finish it.

“I hated my Life.”

Why did my life turn out like this? I definitely didn’t expect this after leaving home. I had thought I got off to a good start. I was married, had successful children, I had started going to college, not being able to finish because I would have had to leave my children for a year to finish my degree.

My life started on a crash course, when I had my first child I had almost died while having her. I spend 3 weeks in ICU only to get out and been diagnosed with a identity disorder, because of my childhood. It had messed up my relationship with my husband, I lost my job. And so the struggle began.

Most people thought my life was great from the outside it looked like a good life. But from the inside it was horrible.

I Was dealing with anxiety, depression, plus having to raise a child. At my last baby your baby check-up the doctor told me I couldn’t have anymore children because I would be risking my life.

I thought my life would be better if I had another child- a son. Thinking I could save my marriage by doing so. I had gotten pregnant without telling anyone I was risking my life. My doctor told my husband at my first ultrasound. That I shouldn’t have gotten pregnant, my excuse was I wanted a son, and I knew I wouldn’t die.

When I had him I started hemorrhaging and they had to do a complete emergency hysterectomy right after he was born.

That just added to the stress after that. But I had a beautiful baby boy. He was my Gift from God. While he was growing up he didn’t know how many times he kept me from committing suicide.

After my children were raised and gone. I lost my one purpose for living. So I thought.

I had some hard times in my life, but I just try to remember how far I have come. I am truly healed and ready to fight for what I want.

Never stop thinking life can get better. If you don’t get up. Sometimes you have to fight for the quality of life you want. You are worth it. You deserve to be respected and happy.

After he left for work

You Don’t Have To Particulate In The Drama People Create.

Just because someone invites you to drama does not mean you have to attend.

This is true statement. But not frequently followed.

How many times have you been drawn into someone else’s drama?

How many times do you get involved with other people’s problems or negative thinking?

How many times have to felt your being manipulated by the drama people create?

How many times have you let other people upset you or feel drained by someone else’s drama?

How many times have you gotten so involved that you say things you shouldn’t, when you’re forced into emotional situations?

Each time you tell yourself that you won’t get involved is such a situation anymore, but yet you get involved again.

It’s like our emotions feed off someone else’s drama.

Next time someone is telling you about their problems, sharing their negative though, worries or fears, or just criticizing or manipulating you, wait a moment before reacting.

You definitely owe it to yourself, not to let anyone manipulate you, or make you feel bad.

Stop for a moment and think.

Are you willing to participate in this drama?

Are you willing to spend so much energy on someone else?

Would you it be benefited by this drama?

You can refuse to attend someone else’s pity party. If you refuse, if you can’t refuse, consider developing willpower and self-discipline. So that you become stronger and more assertive.

I have learned to be a good listener, but my goal is to lift someone up, not let them drag you down with them..

I don’t like indifference and not caring for other people. You can be a loving caring person, without getting involved in the drama. You don’t have to be part of their drama.

But realize there are people you intentionally or unintentionally create drama for themselves and for other people around them. If you participate. They will use this tactic with you over and over again. If you don’t participate they will understand that you are neither an actor on the same stage with them, or a spectator, and will probably stop inviting you into their drama.

A little emotional detachment will be good for you.

Try thinking about something that makes you happy. A vacation, being with someone you love, or think about a success you have experienced. This will take your mind off the other person’s drama.

It’s okay to find an excuse to walk away.

It’s your decision, whether to accept the invitation and take part in this drama scene or walk away. It’s your decision, whether to stay calm and save your time and energy, or take part in the drama that doesn’t help anyone.

Emotional Detachment for a Happier Healthier Life:

Let go of negative thoughts and feelings.

Get rid of emotional burden.

Stop taking things personally.

Stop letting people’s problems weigh you down, they are their problems no yours.

Drama belongs in the Theatre not your life.

Learning Slowly That Not Everything In Life That Annoys Me Warrants A Reaction.

I have learned slowly that not everything requires A reaction. So many times I have let little and big things drain me. When I was aggravated by something.

I let it eat me up inside to the point of no return. I over thought things, I thought about it backwards and sideways about it.

When something hurt me or offended me. I would immediately react to it as thought someone had flipped my switch on my attitude. It was light a huge black cloud would overtake me, my entire day.

I verbally spewed the things at consumed me. Over and over to anyone that would listen. My entire life would be disrupted and end all my happiness.

I didn’t want to be the woman who got angry on a whim, who let life get under her skin and drive her crazy.

It was not only unhealthy for a depressed, lonely person but it put a bad vibe around the people who didn’t want to be around me.

I learned that everything in life that upset me denied a disruption on my energy. Everything in my life didn’t need a reaction. It was allowing negative energy and was allowing other people and situations to have power to bring me down and ruin my life.

It was like allowing someone to live in my mind, just because they Did something to tick me off.

I was reacting to everything people did wrong and will not do right to just make me angrier.

Instead of complaining, yelling or reacting to situations that upset me. I learned to rise about it, when I would take it all in. I realized that whatever happens it’s annoying I needed to let go, let it rolls off my shoulder like the water off a ducks back. I stopped burdening myself with what other people would do or say that wasn’t right.

In life people tend to think your a doormat, easy to walk all over and easy to take advantage of.

Reacting to everything in life won’t change what has happened and to won’t make people love you anymore than they do. It will not fix the situation, it only drains you of peace. It will allow you to sink below the surface and weight you down with weights around you ankles.

Powerful Ways to Stand up for Yourself in Any Situation.

Every day we make dozens of little choices that either benefit us by asserting our ideas or diminish us because we hesitate In making our views or desires known.

Sometimes it seems easier to go with the flow to avoid potential conflict, but the truth is that letting people walk all over you can increase feelings of stress and anxiety. And it might eventually lesson your feeling of self worth and play to your insecurities.

I did this for years, I had told myself nothing mattered anymore. I just dealt with what happened. And told myself I could handle whatever happened. The truth was I was so stressed out I was giving myself Migraines, and I couldn’t sleep because all these things were in my head constantly. I had given myself a stroke and a nervous break down.

Learning to stand up for yourself will help you take charge of your life, believe in your own power and emboldened you to reach for your dreams. The stronger you feel, the stronger you will become.

Here are some steps to help you Stand up for yourself in any situation.

Practice being transparent and authentic.

It might be difficult at times, but if you learn to express yourself openly and honestly, it will feel like a heavy weight has been lifted off your shoulders. So often, we hide behind a halfhearted smile and nod instead of saying what we think. It takes practice but learning to be authentic and open about what you are feeling or thinking is the first step. Once you get in the habit of making yourself heard without being overly accommodating or defensive, people will be more open to hearing you.

Take small but powerful steps.

If your struggling with being assertive, Stuart taking small steps to stand up for yourself. Even just learning to walk more confidently- herald held high, shoulders back. Will help you appear and feel more confident.

Here’s a Bible Verse I think of when I’m afraid to assert myself.

The Lord is on my side; I will not fear what can man do to me.

Psalm 118:6

Channel that confidence when dealing with others. This attitude can apply to all areas in your life. Feeling annoyed at the person who cut in front of you in line. Ask them to politely to move to the back. See an unfair change on a bill from one of your service providers? Call the dispute it.

When someone attacks, wait them out.

As you grow more confident is expressing yourself, you’re also going to have to learn to face those who want to over ride you. There will always be people whose personalities are set to attack mode. It’s important that you remain calm but assertive if up you feel like son is going to bully you. Don’t allow yourself to get frazzled or react with low blows. Don’t cater to them or allow them to intimidate you either. Walk the high road but stand your ground.

Figure our What’s really bothering you.

Going with the flow for the purposes of not making waves actually creates more stress and anxiety for yourself. Of course mustering the courage to face something or someone that is bothering you can feel scary. But facing the issues will empower you do make it better and diminishes the control it has over you. Remember, people can’t read your mind; if you don’t vocalize what is bothering you, no one will know.

Clarify first without attacking.

It’s tempting to take a self-righteous stand, especially if you are sure you are in the right. From your viewpoint, you are justifiably defending yourself against someone who seems entirely in the wrong. But it’s important to resist the urge to react with emotion. Instead take a breath and calmly explain your perspective to them. Avoid combative tones or accusatory words. Clarify exactly what you mean and listen to their response. Only then can a real discussion begin to take place.

I still have a difficult time with this one. I have a loud stern voice, so I tend to talk in a way that I am mean or strong willed at times. People think I’m Angry all the time. I am not.

Practice makes perfect.

Once you start getting the hang of what it means to stand up for yourself, it’s time to practice asking for what you want as often as possible. When someone says something you openly disagree with, or you feel pushed into doing something you don’t want to do, say something. According to research it takes 66 days to form a new habit, so stick with the new assertiveness for two months and you might be surprised by the results.

Be Deliberate.

Here’s a situation that many of us have found ourselves in sharing space with a messy co-worker or roommate who is a slob. You might have remained silent. It might be tempting to slip into a passive-aggressive behavior, such as angrily cleaning. Up the mess or make snide remarks. Try being deliberate instead. Tell the personals you are feeling without being accusatory. Be straightforward with your concerns. Follow up with a simple suggestion that can correct the situation, such as . If you can take a minute to tidy up your space at night, it would be a big help.

Stand up for your time.

Time is precious and limited commodity, and yet we often feel pressured to give it away when we have the ability to say no. There are times when you might not have a choice. Such as when your boss says a project has high priority But don’t let obligations dictate how you spend the hours in your day. You are in control of your own time. Push back when it’s appropriate, or tactfully disengage from those people or situations that submerge your schedule.

Recognize that no one can invalidate you.

You are incomplete ownership of your feeling and actions. Your beliefs, emotions, thoughts, and ideas belong to you. And no one else can tell you what you feel or invalidate your opinions. Likewise, if you seek to invalidate other people’s points of view, you are also sabotaging any chance for problem-solving or having a open discussion.

Fake it until you make it.

Learning to stand up for yourself won’t happen over night. It takes time to grow comfortable with being assertive. While you are In The learning stage, it might help to imagine that you are an actor or actress learning to play a new role.

Imagine that you are the most assertive person you know. How would they handle themselves in a difficult situation? There might be times when you swing from being overly zealous to being indecisive. Learning to stand up for yourself is like riding a bike. Eventually you will find the right balance.

Questions to Ask Yourself Every Day to Keep Your Life On Track.

Life can be hectic.

Most of us have our hands full just trying to keep it all together. We do what we have to just to get by, from day to day. We seldom stop to ask ourselves, “Why am I here? Where am I headed? What’s it’s all about?”

But it’s exactly this kind on inquiry we must do-and do often-if we want to live a life of purpose. It’s too easy to fall into a comfortable routine, and just go through the motions, while day turn into weeks, turn into months..

And beforehand you know it, years of your life has passed by.

Don’t let that happen to you. Get clear about your passion, your dream, your vision. Set specific, achievable, step by -step goals. Most importantly, take time every day to stop and reflect on your life, your progress, and the things most important to you.

Here are some questions to ask yourself everyday, to help you keep your vision in focus and keep your life on track.

Set Your Intentions in The Morning.

Mornings are the most important part of the day. It sets the tone for the rest of the day. Have you ever noticed how when you over sleep, and you have to rush around like crazy, you end feeling stressed and frazzled the rest of the day. Some people do that every day.

Don’t be that person. It’s essential to start the day off right. Make time to meditate, clear your head. Think about your life, get clear about what you want, what’s important- what you need to do to take care of every thing you need to.

Who are the Most Important people in my life?

Life isn’t just about you- your career and your personal goals. Real happiness is found in relationship, in deep, heartfelt connection to each other. This question #1 because your loved ones are mort important than your job, more important than money, more important than anything.

So keep first things first. Take time every day to remember those closest to you, and how much they mean to you. Make sure you tell them and more importantly- show then how you feel.

What would I Do if Money Didn’t Matter?

This question can really help you hone in on your passion, you purpose, your zest for life. What would you do today if you didn’t have to worry about paying your bills? What would you do with the rest of your life?

Whatever the answer, that’s what you should be doing anyway. That’s your calling. It’s why your here. You can make it your livelihood, and you won’t really be satisfied until you do.

What Steps Can I Take Today?

It’s wonderful to have a dream, to have a vision, to have long term goals. But a dream is just a dream until you make it real. It doesn’t mean a thing unless you act on it today.

So get real, get practical. What small steps can you take today? Write it down. Make a to-do list, an action plan. If you don’t know what to do, or where to begin- find out. It can be as simple as going to the library and checking out a book or looking on the internet and doing some research. But do something, at least one small thing every day. Keep that dream alive.

How Do I Want to Show up?

Sometimes what you do isn’t as important as how you do it. It’s great to have a plan, an agenda for the day. But now it’s time to ask yourself., “How do I want to show up? Calm, confident, caring, assertive, charming, kind, inspiring?”

The question can apply to any situation. You probably embody different qualities at work than you do at home. But ask yourself “ How do I want to meet the world today? Get clear about that, Feel it. Own it. Be it.

Where is My Attention Right Now?

This is one to ask yourself over and over, as often as possible. In fact, it can be helpful to set an alarm to go off at random moments, or use an app the when that bell rings, it’s your signal to stop and ask “Where is my attention? Am I here now, in the moment? Or am I daydreaming?

The mort you catch your mind wondering off, the more you will realize just how often it does.-and how little time you actually spend being in the present here and now, enjoying life.

What am I Holding Back?

Is there something that you want to say- to your partner, your parents, your boss or co-worker- but you just haven’t been able to bring yourself to say it.

Is there something you’ve been longing to do, but you never get around to it? It doesn’t have to be anything grand. Maybe there’s a cute guy or girl you have been wanting to ask out. Or a little shop you drive by every day, and wonder what’s inside.

What are You Afraid Of?

When ever you find yourself holding back, the obvious follow is, “ What’s stopping me? What am I afraid of?”

This isn’t meant to be a time to self-criticize. But the opportunity for self-awareness. Seek to identify our fears and hang ups, but don’t beat yourself up over them. Simply become aware of your internal process, especially the fears and doubts that stop from doing what your heart longs to do.

Awareness is the first step to freedom.

If Not Now, When?

This question is the final step in disarming the fear trap. Whatever is you’re holding back, ask yourself, “If not now, when?”

This question is deeper than it appears. At first you’ll probably rationalize, and make excuses. “I’m to busy right now. Maybe later, when I have more time. But you’re always busy. You’ll never have more time. Later is an illusion.

The truth is, the opportunities you let pass by today may never come again. So don’t hold back. Say what you want to say. Do what you long to do.

If you don’t do it now, odds are you never will.